Heart of the Survivor
by nani'anela
Summary: Samandriel is a newborn angel who escaped a terrible fate, and he must find Sam, Dean & Castiel in order to save a heaven that is being torn in two; angels are either pro-apocalypse, or pro-human. After a horrible consequence in closing hell, Sam & Dean must fight in the war in heaven after becoming angels themselves. (Sweet) Destiel buildup & Angel!chester, Please review! COMPLETE
1. The Stormy-Eyed Survivor

One thing that was an essential part of being an angel were the constant voices. They weren't pointed directly at Castiel most times, but it was like listening to hundreds of police radios, as they communicated in formal tones. That's one thing that threw him for a loop when he was stuck in purgatory, was the silence. He felt like a broken radio, only getting dim mumblings on a good day. He strained to listen and understand, but his loneliness from his family increased each day. Now, without even voices of his friends to fill the pressing silence, he felt utterly alone.

That was why he was so surprised when a message finally came along. It was sharp, clear, and brimming with sorrow and loss. The infirmary had been attacked, the ethereal network was in danger of splitting in two for good, the civil war was at the peak of its violence. Then, it was over, and it was just Castiel and his own thoughts again. He still felt tiny aftershocks of sadness and sorrow, and he had to restrain himself from clutching at his chest, where it really hurt.

He imagined what would happen if Dean and Benny were still there with him.

"_Hey, you alright?_" Dean would have asked him, upon seeing Cas's concerned expression and downcast eyes. Cas would have met his friend's gaze, Dean's eyebrows would have been lilted just enough to show his worry. "Yes, Dean. No cause for concern." What he would have said, and then Benny would have rolled his eyes and nodded forward, he'd say something like "C'mon, no time for a chick flick moment, let's keep moving."

Castiel smiled sadly at the scenario he made up in his mind. It sure had been a rag tag team, but he missed them already. He missed all company. He turned his blue eyes to the sky and furrowed his brows. If his brothers and sisters were up there, he sent them his best regards. There was no telling what would happen now.

* * *

When asked, people might say one of the worst emotions is suspense. That raw moment when everything is suspended in time, as one's whole being seems to quiver with anticipation. Well, Darias didn't have that liberty.

Darias normally would pity a human overridden with suspense, as they blindly only heard bumps on the other side of a door, with not an inkling of the intentions. But this time, Darias found his situation to be worse. He knew every little murderous thought that ran through the enemy's head.

"You can't DO this!" His friend Azariel's voice tore through the air, pleading, undertones of fierce emotion plucking at the heart strings in a way only the Enochian language could. He had this body thrown across the gap that made the doorway, trying to defend the nursery with all his being. He and Darias had been working together for only a little while, but the two already had developed a strong friendship. Darias felt his heart catch in his throat when he realized this might be the last he'd see of his friend.

"Watch me." The celestial being retorted unemotionally, speaking at once in an eerie multi-voice from all of his faces. His blade swept into an arch so quickly that Darias only saw a flash, while Azariel's white grace splattered in the arch and there was a boom before he even hit the ground. Charred black wings. "Emotion has made you grow weak," the other angel said, detached, as he swung with the least faltering flick of one of his wrists and sliced the nearest white, floating flame neatly in half.

Darias had always loved the infirmary, and he'd been so happy when he'd finally been assigned to protect it. It was a safe place where baby angels incubated for hundreds of years before they could finally be whisked away and trained. They were born not from two angels but from all angels, as they were little pieces of grace, simply recycled. Like pure white flames, the little motes floated peacefully around the room, emitting a dim light as tiny wisps and tendrils of white curled into the air like smoke. If you were to grab one, they would materialize into actual babies, human-like in every way except for the wings.

That was the trade secret: angel's base form was very much human, and as they matured they developed into unique creatures, growing parts of other animals on themselves like coral. The older they became, the more powerful and embellished their bodies became. These babies begged for attention and affection, as they grew from their supply of grace from other angels who came to visit their up-and-coming brothers and sisters. Thin wisps would curl up from the adult angel's own bodies and into the white mote.

The infirmary was supposed to be a public, inviting place that any angel could drop by. That situation had changed drastically since the war, however. Darias had even held one of the babies in its human form, as it pulled just a misting of grace from his. It looked so happy and cute that Darias smiled.

"You're not supposed to do that." Azariel had commented coldly as Darias couldn't fight back feelings of, well, love. That was back in the days when the war was just beginning.

"Why not?" Darias asked, staring the the little baby's eyes. It was one of the silver-eyed angels. He cuddled the baby closer.

"You'll corrupt it. Everyone knows if you love it it'll give love in return. Put it back."

Darias never really forgot those words. Only later has Azariel decided to join his side. The war was...complicated to say the least. When narrowed down, the main subject seemed to be whether the apocalypse had to be started up again. There were two sides: the side that agreed to start it again to diminish much of the human race, and the side that didn't.

It branched off into so many other issues- the side that disagreed to restart the apocalypse had angels who possessed strong human-like emotions, they actually cared for the humans, this side questioned their duties as warriors. This side stripped off their massive celestial bodies and wore their human forms in protest. Some wore their vessels, others wore their core human form if they'd never visited Earth.

That wasn't the only way to differentiate the sides. The light the pro-humans side's grace emitted was warm, loving, encompassing. The other side was made of light as well, but it was a sharp white, unpleasantly cold and piercing. It was like the difference between candlelight and an LED.

This was why Darias felt so uncomfortable in this Angel's sharp light, as it stared into his own two eyes with its four different animal faces and eight eyes.  
It slashed mercilessly at another mote, and innocent silvery-white splattered on the floor and on the wall. Darias fell to the floor as he was overcome with a bought of sickness.  
"See?" The angel growled, whacking at the floating white flames unhesitantly as if they were weeds. Darias scuttled back on the floor, wiping his cheek with shaking fingers as he felt wet silver blood. Were those tears as well? Just as he felt utterly hopeless, it was there. One mote, floating right in front of him. Darias grasped it with shaking, gentle arms as the baby materialized. The angel was still making its way toward him, speeding up now that he'd seen what he'd done.

Darias looked down at the innocent, human baby with pure white wings and storm grey eyes. "Find Sam and Dean and Castiel. Castiel is the last one who has seen Gabriel, who could be the only one who has the power to the end the war." The baby blinked up at him with those big, stoney eyes. Darias felt his heart jump to his throat, fearing what came next.

He felt the baby's thoughts echo back to him, even though they were simpler and faded. He probably had the main idea. This all happened in a few seconds time, and the murderous angel had caught up to them. Darias looked up, surprised, as a blade was plunged unfaltering into his stomach as he tried to shield the little cherub. Darias tried with his last thoughts to chant to the baby angel in his arms, who was getting soaked with his blood.  
"Sam and Dean and Castiel. Samandeanandiel...Samand...eanandcas...riel.."

"Samandriel," Darias said, smiling grimly. _The first and last time I get to name a baby angel_. He weakly stroked the baby's head, it blinked back at him, confused. Darias shoved him with the last of his strength into a wormhole that would lead to earth. Then, there was a boom as his body went slack and charred wings marked the ground.

His work done, the angel that was a mass of swirling animal parts and feathers disappeared. The macabre scene of a room that was painted with silvery white splatters and a pair of charred wings remained. There was only one survivor from the violent ordeal, and he was hurtling toward earth now, three names repeating over and over in his tiny little head.

Samandriel was falling fast, and it felt like barely a few seconds before hard soil was at his back and he'd fallen to earth. As if on instinct, something inside him searched like a radar beam for a suitable vessel. His body wouldn't be able to survive for long at all in the form it was in now. Samandriel felt a wave of relief as he found a match and he instantly flew there.

Alfie was down on his luck to say the least. He'd just been fired from his shit job, and he was sitting outside in his uniform now, sitting on a curb that faced the empty parking lot. He was staring dejectedly at the night sky, and he didn't feel too much better even when he saw a bright falling star swatch across the sky.

"Dammit Alfie, I want that uniform back. Tell ya what, I'm going out back for a smoke. When I get back that better be folded and on my damn desk. I ain't rehiring you, you know that." His boss has told him in his heavy new york accent, as he pulled out his box of cigs and stepped out the store's back door.

Alfie let out a big sigh as he'd stumbled outside and sat down on the curb, feeling defeated. His puff of breath swirled white in the chilly air. He'd had a damn bad week. First, his girlfriend broke up with him, with the old _it's not you, it's me. _He'd gotten his college rejection letter the next day to the college he'd been wanting to go to the most. Now, he was getting fired. Alfie looked dejectedly at his rusting bike, as he couldn't afford a car. He had no idea what he was even going to do with his life, when something amazing happened.

Alfie suddenly felt happy. Like, really, _really _happy. Like he was happy enough to just float into the sky and burst into a bright light like a firework.

**_MY NAME IS SAMANDRIEL. IF YOU WOULD ALLOW ME, I'D PREFER TO UTILIZE YOUR BODY FOR MY ETHEREAL NEEDS. I AM AN ANGEL OF THE LORD._**

A voice screamed into Alfie's head, reverberating through his whole being. Alfie clutched his head, it was so damn _loud. _Samandriel felt horrible. Oh, he wished he knew what to do. He needed help from one of his brothers and sisters.

_I apologize if I harmed you. Please agree._

Alfie's confusion was instantly picked up on by Samandriel, who like most angels, had the ability to feel the thoughts of others around him.

_Say yes if you'd let me in. _The baby angel begged, not sure what he was supposed to do. Dammit, if only the angel who had rescued him had given him a little instructions instead of just the three names he'd sort of been named after. Even now, the chant kept repeating in his little head. _Sam and Dean and Castiel, Sam and Dean and Castiel..._

"Yes," Alfie said softly, doubting anything would really happen. Maybe the stress was just making him crack. Maybe he finally was just going insane. Right away, Samandriel felt himself melt into his new vessel. He let out a sigh of relief as he no longer felt the corrosive atmosphere chipping away at his grace. He felt at_ home, _like he was warm and secure and safe.

Samandriel curled the fingers on his new right hand. The middle finger knuckle had less flexibility, as the joint was restricted by something flesh-colored that wrapped around it. Samandriel gained control of his left hand and plucked at it, and the light brown thing slid off like a ring to reveal a small cut. He furrowed his brows and held up the ring, which had something white and square in the middle. How strange.

_It's called a band-aid, you dummy. _Samandriel felt a foreign voice bounce in his head as Alfie bubbled up from the depths of his brain. Samandriel felt panic rise. What was he supposed to do in this situation? Did all angels listen to their vessels thoughts? Was he supposed to push it down and suppress it? He felt scared and confused as his invisible white wings fluttered in frustration. He did what his first instinct was to do, and he tried to push the foreign thought down, way down, drowning it in the deepest level of unconscious.

Samandriel felt Alfie's panic rise up and mingle with his, and suddenly he just couldn't do it. He let go, and Alfie's thoughts bobbed up to the surface again. _Thanks, _the little human thought said softly. Samandriel suddenly felt something in his chest as it swelled. Friendship? Empathy? He had no idea what to call it. _Sam and Dean and Castiel, Sam and Dean and Castiel. _The chant whispered silently in his head again, reminding him of his mission. _Who are they? _Alfie piped up. My, this was going to be strange.

To anyone passing by, he looked like a strange boy in an empty parking lot, just simply staring at his hands as he twisted them occassionally, bringing them up to his face and looking at the fingerprints, wiggling the fingers and staring at the joints. But inside, there was a full blown conversation.

Samandriel stared at his newfound hands as he tried to reach out and find the people the names were tied to. So far he found Sam and Dean, the first two on his list. But Castiel's name bore more weight, he was the one he was really trying to look for. He could try to find them, but he didn't really know how to fly yet. He was lost and alone and had a very vague mission...

_Wow. You've got a lot of weight on your shoulders, don't you? _Alfie chimed in to Samandriel's worried thoughts. He ignored it and tried to think about what to do.

_I can help. I'm actually pretty smart. I know a lot more about this Earth place than you do, anyway. _

"I know a lot of things based on instinct. I'll be fine." Samandriel said sourly. As if to demonstrate it, a thought popped into his head, a clue that would help him find the Winchesters. _Plutus. _Samandriel was a baby, but because he was practically made of recycled materials, a lot of things he could do was like the ghost of a muscle memory. Things came to him and he didn't know why. He felt a nag in his chest- something showing him the direction.

Samandriel gained control of his new legs and stood up, trying to get the balance right as he swayed a little. He got a funny look from a lone man at the bar across the street.

_He thinks you're drunk. _Alfie chimed in, trying to give him little pointers about humans on Earth. Samandriel actually felt glad that he had at least _someone _helping him. He flexed his wings- could he fly? Were they too small? He knew somehow that an adult's wingspan had to be at least three times the vessel's height: his pure white wings only spread, wingtip to wingtip, to about Alfie's elbows if he held his arms straight out.

Samandriel felt a pang of surprise from Alfie as he observed his shadow cast from the yellow streetlight with the added wings. He spread them as far as they could go, and tried to reach back and work on instinct. _C'mon, Sam, fly. _

There was an uncomfortable jerk and tug, and a split second later he was rolling on the ground, as a wall of asphalt seemed to have just jumped up right in front of him. _Ow. _Alfie thought sadly, as the little angel stood up shakily and examined his hands, which had gotten torn up in the failed attempt to fly. His white palms had shredded, as tiny black shards of asphalt had dug into the angry red skin. Suddenly, Samandriel knew what to do. They both watched in amazement as the cuts started to heal up, and the little black shards were pushed out and fell innocently to the ground.

Dawn was just breaking, and the sky was a light pinkish-grey. The two of them where quiet for just a second as they stared at the sky, both vaguely thinking about how strange the situation was. Samandriel felt that tiny tug in his chest again, they were closer now. _Walking distance? _Alfie asked meekly, he was feeling much more admiration and respect to the mysterious Samandriel that he was now sharing his body with. It was the first time Samandriel was somewhat nice back. _It would seem so, but it might be somewhat of a stretch. I apologize in advance for any discomfort as a result. _

It _had _been a stretch, Samandriel/Alfie had started to walk, their only guide being the tiny tug that told the angel where to go. They walked until noon, and they both fed off each other's relief as they found the place and sat down for just a minute of rest. During their escapade, they'd both learned much about the other.

_We should probably find a mirror and freshen up if we'd like to make an impression. Then again, we're wearing a fucking wienie shack uniform. _Alfie suggested, and Samandriel stood up again, but they both felt protest as the body's fatigued muscles screamed._  
_

_This is it. _Samandriel thought nervously. He needed to fulfill his mission: Get the three of them, ask about Gabriel, stop the war...

Samandriel suddenly felt an oncoming rush of emotion as he thought about all his other brothers and sisters who he'd never met: there would never be another angel his own age. Then, he felt a flame of passion as he thought about how horrible it had all been, and how he could end it. But what if he couldn't convince them to trust him? What if...?

_I'll guide you through it. _Alfie suggested sweetly. _I'm pretty good with words, let me take control when you talk to them. You're sort of an emotional wreck, bud. _Samandriel didn't even try to defend himself. _He'd really do that for me?_ It was supposed to be a private thought, but Alfie heard it nonetheless.

Talking to Dean had been a blur to Samandriel, but all he knew was that he'd gotten the point across, and he vaguely knew that Alfie had made him seem all-knowing and poetic. _Don't overdo it, _Samandriel warned him lightly.

_Hey, I'm just taking what I think angels would be like and applying it. He bought it, anyway. _Alfie retorted. Samandriel had maybe dangerously been unconcious: he only vaguely remembered something about a bid. _Don't do anything stupid, Alfie. _He warned, and realized that it was the first time he'd used his vessel's name. It felt all wrong, he knew that it had been his instinct to bury the human's mind and that was probably what most did, but he needed help. He needed someone to be on his side, and help him, no one else was there to tell him what to do.

Suddenly, Alfie spotted Mrs. Tran from the chair that the two had sat down to ponder and speak with each other. Samandriel suddenly just _knew _another message that he had to send, he needed to ask her if she wanted protection. He then realized he'd been half-listening to the ethereal network this whole time. _  
_

_You angels sure are strange. _Alfie said, and Samandriel felt a little embarrassed. _Just take over and do some fancy talking, okay? _Samandriel again knew it was all wrong as he hung around in the background and Alfie used his language skills to send the message and persuade the small woman that he was trustworthy and mature. Still, Samandriel scowled internally when Alfie had Mrs. Tran 'just use Alfie'. _We can't risk blowing our cover!_ He hissed, but what ignored. He hoped they hadn't just blown their cover as they simply walked away, not doing anything fancy like disappearing. The boy seemed lost in thought, until a loud voice made him perk up.

"Where do you think you're going, little bird?"

Samandriel jumped and his pale blue eyes widened as suddenly a burly man was right in front of him, eyes pure black. Samandriel didn't have time to respond to the instinctual message he got-_palm to forhead_- it whispered, but it was too late. The lanky, thin boy was already seized by at least three large men. He struggled to try and get out of their grip, his white little wings flapping and flaring out desperately.

Next thing they knew, they were trapped in a dark, windowless room with a set of weapons on a silver wheel-in tray. Samandriel could tell they were underground, and there didn't seem to be any escape as their body was chained to the chair, chains being pulled on roughly, pinching his skin. Both of their panics intermingled. _"_I'm sorry," Samandriel accidentally said aloud, as he struggled against the tight chains that were digging into their thin, pale wrists. _Me too, _Alfie thought weakly.

Next, there had been pain, pain, and more pain. He was only a baby, he didn't know what to do, and all the secrets that had been ingrained in his mind since he'd been created were spilling much too easily right out of his mouth. He had no idea how long he'd been there, there were no gauges of time like sleep and food, both things angels didn't need to do. He didn't feel regret yet, he only wanted to escape the pain. It was worse than normal for both of them, as the pain of real flesh and blood mixed with the raw, piercing pain of a torn grace. Samandriel couldn't focus enough to heal his vessel's wounds, his head was just a mass of spinning thoughts and pain and confusion and regret...

"Put him on ice." He heard the order, but it seemed faraway and muffled. He looked up with forlorn, pale blue eyes and he realized that it had finally ended. Then, he and Alfie both started to cry as they realized how hopeless their situation was.

* * *

"He's close," Castiel said to Dean and Sam in a quiet voice as they snuck their way around, trying to find and free the angel. Castiel broke the lock on the door, and suddenly he was looking at a tall, lanky teenager in a weenie shack uniform that was torn and bloodied who was chained to a chair.

Castiel suddenly felt a strange sensation in his chest, and looked down in surprise to see that a glowing white mist had been pulled from his chest, and the somewhat shimmery tendrils were making their way toward the chained boy. He serenely looked down and felt the grace pass through his lax fingers.

_No, there's no way he could be... there was a slaughter. Is this really the only thing heaven has sent me? _

The kid looked up with weary eyes, but they lit up just a little when he saw his rescuers. Then he seemed to collapse on himself, it looked like he was dying. He hadn't really noticed when his chains were broken and he was stood upright, as he leaned heavily on Castiel. Suddenly, they were outside, and Samandriel was being put into the backseat of the car, as Castiel climbed in next to him.

The car was started up and running smoothly down the road, when Dean glanced to the backseat and noticed something strange that almost made him jump. A white mist was flowing from Cas's chest toward the limp teen, as he leaned unconsciously on Cas.

"What's that?" Sam beat him to it, noticing at around the same time as well.

Cas looked down at the teen with a serene expression. "He's only an infant. Why heaven chose to send him, I'm not sure. He needs grace in order to grow and develop, which he's still not done doing."

Dean knew that angels were all brothers and sisters, and he'd heard Cas use the term often, but it hadn't really sunk in until now. The way he looked at Samandriel, Dean could tell that it was the look of an older brother. And after what he'd just said about him just being a baby, no wonder he was letting him lean on him like that as the white mist slowly floated from one being to another.

Samandriel's eyes fluttered open for a brief second and he looked up into his older brother's face. Small wisps of grace were floating toward him, and he suddenly was aware that a massive, raven-black wing was draped over him, protecting him as he tried to heal. Cas looked into his baby brother's eyes-the only survivor from the next generation- and he was able to easily look past the pale blue vessel's eyes and see the stormy grey, large baby's eyes. Samandriel looked back, and saw that Castiel was one of the blue-eyed angels, even when he looked past the vessel's eyes into his true form. He closed his eyes, knowing he was in safe arms, when he also looked past the vessel and saw that Cas was wearing his core human form underneath his vessel's body.

He closed his eyes, and felt Alfie bubble up again after being dormant since the pain had started. Alfie was very faded and barely there, which scared Samandriel. _You're back. I thought I'd lost you. _Samandriel said when he felt his friend finally join him again. _You can't rid of me that easily, _Alfie joked weakly, sounding faraway. Samandriel let him take over, nudging the shared body over to his side: and suddenly the baby angel was overcome with a very human trait, sleep.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I just felt like getting out my ideas about how the war was split in heaven, and I was inspired by a few things Samandriel did (like mention Alfie and just walk away after talking to Mrs. Tran). At first I wasn't going to publish this, but I thought I might as well test the reactions! Please leave a review, I love them! :)**


	2. Samandriel's Mission

**Thank you everyone for the reviews! I really wasn't going to do anything with this but I started to further develop the plot thanks to your encouragement. Really, thank you! :)**

* * *

Samandriel was having a nightmare. In his dream he relived the experience in the infirmary, as he felt himself floating, and then he felt the sharp feelings of fear as one of the angel gave him his instructions. He felt himself being held in shaking arms and could almost smell that awful scent of spilled angel blood as the person who was cradling him in his arms was brutally murdered...

"I thought they weren't supposed to sleep." Samandriel vaguely heard a familiar voice say in a low tone.

"He has somewhat of a...complicated bond with his vessel. So, he might have a few more human qualities than normal."

Samandriel awoke with a gasp as he still felt aftershocks of fear from his nightmare. He instinctually shrunk back into the leather seat, and was immediately calmed by his older brother as he held his shoulders in a tight grasp. Samandriel looked up with confused, wide eyes, before he finally got his bearings as to where he was. Sleeping was just so similar to floating as a piece of grace, he'd been disoriented. He felt extremely embarrased as he felt three pairs of concerned eyes on him.

"You feeling alright?" Dean asked from behind the driver's wheel. Samandriel looked down and realized that he'd for the most part subconsciously healed his vessel's body as he slept. Alfie was still sleeping, and every now and then Samandriel caught just a glimpse of a dream- his girlfriend's face, dinner table with his family...

"It seems that skills I've acquired from my ethereal ancestry has lead me to restore my vessel's lacerations subconsciously. Much obliged for your concern." Samandriel answered, looking over his arms and chest to see that he'd healed alright, there were only shallow scratches and scabs remaining.

Dean guffawed, and Samandriel looked up, a puppy-dog confused look in his eyes, as he tilted his head slightly. "I'm failing to understand. Why are you expressing amusement at my acknowledgment of your inquiry?"

Dean turned his gaze to Castiel. "You're saying he's a _baby? _Those words are pretty damn big for someone who just popped out of some cloud!"

Cas shook his head and replied monotonously. "Enochian is engrained in all angels, although it takes many other years to fully master it. He is only trying to turn the complex language into English through vocabulary that his vessel possesses that are the closest to his thoughts." He paused for a second to take a quick glance at the disheveled baby angel.

"He doesn't sound anything like when we first met him." Sam interjected.

"Again, it has to do with his bond with his vessel. It seems that he used Alfie to speak for him back at the auction house." There was a small pause before Cas continued.

"And Angels are not born from clouds, Dean. They are recycled from the Internal Grace, or the place it goes once an angel dies. They exist in the infirmary until they have developed enough to join our ranks."

Dean and Sam were able to immediately pick up the sad tones in Cas's voice as he explained.

"What happened?" Sam asked gently. Castiel sighed and turned his eyes to the ground, and unseen to them unconsciously tightened the protecting wing slung over Samandriel's shoulder.

"Samandriel here is in fact an infant, but he's the last survivor of his generation. The angels fighting the civil war have done some despicable things. I heard the message when I was still in Purgatory." He didn't lift his downcast eyes.

"Do you mean all of them were killed? But, why...?" Dean prompted, he seemed shocked by the news. Admit it or not, he was fascinated by angels, and he wondered how the seemingly always-composed beings could suddenly become so savage.

"There are two sides to the war, Dean. My side: pro-human, and their side: pro-apocalypse. All the developing angels had been influenced by emotions and become sympathetic, and would have grown up to be on the pro-human side. Our network is tearing apart, so it wouldn't hurt them physically as much as it hurts us. All angels are connected, even if it's hanging on by a thread now."

"That's pretty heavy, man." Dean replied and focused back on the road, not knowing what else to say. Cas had never gone into detail about the war before, and now he could see why. It almost looked like it physically pained him to talk about it. Dean realized that it must be pretty hard to be at war with your brothers and sisters, which it was clear Castiel loved all of them.

Meanwhile, Samandriel had been waiting in silence, embarrassed at his real first impression with the subjects of his mission. He felt a little hot around the ears when he thought about how he'd _laughed _at him. All the while, Alfie had still been dozing as Samandriel had struggled to understand these strange humans without help.

_Wake up, Alfie. I need your help. _He sent a message out in desperation.

_I haven't sleep for weeks. You can at least give me a few hours. _His human replied grumpily, his thoughts themselves felt groggy, heavy and a bit uncollected. Alfie immediately saw the new memories and tried to make sense of them in his tired state.

_Is it bad? Do you think I messed up big time? _Samandriel shot out nervously, feeling their body's heart race at the thought. Alfie seemed to rise to a better mood. _He was only kidding around. I think he likes you. _

Suddenly, Cas was staring at Samandriel with a sharp expression, which was met with an innocent expression.

"I know you're just a young blood, but you have to know that you can't do that. It's dangerous." Cas scolded him.

"What are you asking?" He answered, twiddling his thumbs. Alfie had gone completely silent.

"You know what I mean. You can't talk to your vessel like that, you should have known that by your first instinct. You have to supress him."

Samandriel shied slightly away from his brother. But, it had been so horrible, like that other person had been drowning as he felt every single thought that bounced in his head as the angel held his head under, waiting for their thoughts to grow weaker and weaker...he shuddered slightly.

"I came into this world with a complete absence of any instruction. My vessel has become a mentor in all terrestrial affairs. He has become my acquaintance." He replied, hurt, as he shielded his chest as if Cas was going to do it for him.

"A vessel is supposed to be something you use, nothing more. It can be harmful mentally to the human to be conscious for it, sometimes transport and injuries can be excruciating."

Samandriel shook his head with a small frown, like a stubborn little kid who refuses to eat their vegetables.

"Now I can see the little baby in there," Dean commented with a smile. Cas shot him a look as if to say _don't encourage him. _

_"_Please. I only want to reveal my mission to you that my caretaker assigned to me with his dying breath. My whole existence so far has been focused on locating you. " Samandriel begged, wanting to get off the subject of Alfie quickly.

Dean raised an eyebrow from the front seat. "_You _were looking for _us? _More like we just bailed you out of that demon torture-dungeon."

Samandriel got frustrated and his tiny white wings started flapping in irritation. "Listen to me. I needed to find Castiel in order to ask about the archangel Gabriel. My caretaker affirmed that the only way to win the war was to get him affiliated with the pro-humans."

Sam looked back at Samandriel with a distraught expression. "I hate to break it to you like this, Sananmandereal.. _Alfie_, but Gabriel's dead."

Samandriel dropped his gaze to the floor, feeling the news physically as if it was a crushing blow. His whole existence was meaningless now. He'd never get to avenge the brothers and sisters of his generation, he wouldn't even be able to stop the war before all of heaven and earth were ripped to bits. It had been _his _responsibility to find Sam and Dean and Castiel, and in turn find Gabriel, where he could save countless angels. Now everything was ruined. The responsibility had been put on the wrong shoulders, big time.

_Hey. Don't be so hard on yourself. _Alfie tried to comfort him in a whisper, as if he was afraid Cas would say something again. Samandriel started to feel a prick in their body's eyes, and for a second lost focus on his worrying and was concerned, thinking something was seriously wrong with his vessel.

_You're just crying, dummy. _Alfie said, but he was sympathetic in his tone as he felt the same emotions Samandriel felt about blowing everything. Their vision started to be blurred with tears, and Samandriel bit his lips together in a big frown.

He looked so pitiful and worried that Sam immediately felt bad for saying anything. Samandriel looked up with pale blue eyes shining with tears, opened his mouth to talk but closed it again quickly, and adverted his eyes out the window.

"Hey, hey. I didn't mean to upset you. I mean, we can do something about it on our own, right Dean? Cas? We managed to stop the apocalypse on our own, right?" Sam said quickly, trying to get the baby angel to feel better. Man, he hated seeing people cry. And to think about everything this little angel had been through already, and to hear news like that when hearing a good answer had been what his whole life goal had been... "Please don't cry. We can fix it, okay?"

Cas who had remained pensive for the whole ordeal finally spoke up softly. "Gabriel might not be dead. There's no way to tell for sure right now, but there's a chance he's still alive somewhere."

Samandriel immediately looked to his brother's face, and again was able to quickly see past the skin and bone to his human true form, and was a little reassured. He felt a little better when he realized that Cas would take care of him, that he was on the good guy's side. And now maybe Gabriel wasn't dead? He sniffled and felt his emotions of extreme sorrow die down.

"Like I said before, all angels are connected. It is hard to tell if Gabriel is still with us, and he might not be because his powerful, old-time grace is hard to mask. But he could be alive, but weakening his bond with us though existing in an alternate dimension and not tuning in the network on purpose. That was how he was able to avoid his family before, and there is a slim chance he's doing just that again."

"Well, how do we find him?" Dean asked, not looking up from the road. He felt just a little bad that Gabe had gone out fighting for the humans, but he immediately didn't feel so bad when he remembered all that crap he had to deal with in TVland, and how Gabriel had thought up practically every way humanly possible to kill him. He wasn't particularly thrilled to see him again.

"I'm still not sure. But according to Samandriel, it is essential that we do."

"_Great." _Dean replied, still not getting over that whole nutcracker fiasco.

"Give him a chance, Dean. He really did try helping us humans out before. Maybe he'll try to solve things with his family this time around." Sam interjected in his usual glass half-full manner.

"Let's hope so. I don't want my seats getting ruined from all these baby angel tears."

_That was a joke. _Samandriel heard a foriegn voice in his head which wasn't coming from Alfie or the network. It took him a second to realize it had come from Castiel.

_I knew that, _Samandriel lied horribly. It's not like you can lie when someone can read your thoughts, anyway.

_You're starting to get the hang of it. _This time it was Alfie's warm and familiar thoughts. If thoughts could smile, this would be one of those thoughts. Samandriel felt a pang of anxiety when he thought about whether or not he'd really have to get rid of Alfie for good. For now, things were looking alright. That subject had been avoided for now, and the people he'd been seeking had wholeheartedly agreed to help him. Things were looking up. And Samandriel realized why it was better to have feelings, good and bad, than have none at all as he was filled with a sense of happiness.


	3. Pain or Protection

"Where are we going?" Samandriel asked out of the blue, when he realized that he had been so relieved at having been rescued that the question had not occurred to him.

"We're going to go pick up Kevin, and then we're not sure where we'll go from there." Sam answered him, eyes still straight ahead at the road.

"You kind of dropped in at a bad time, kid. We're sort of trying to seal demons out of the world forever," Dean said with a tiny laugh as he realized how over their heads they were.

"If we don't help Samandriel and heaven, there might not be a world to save anymore." Castiel interjected, looking extremely concerned himself. "I suppose we must take on both."

Dean looked back at him with a lifted eyebrow. "Really? _Both _of them? Why don't we just do something else while we're at it?"

"This is not a laughing matter." Castiel replied somewhat angrily, narrowing his eyes. "Time is running out for the war in heaven. Our network is splitting, and once the communication completely breaks off, there's no telling how much damage could be done."

There was a beat of silence.

"Great. Just great." Dean sighed, looking back to the road ahead and gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"If there is some way we can get the tablet and speed up _that_ mission-" Sam tried suggesting.

"Do you think we haven't been trying to do everything already?" Dean shot back, already on edge from the bad news.

Sam had a look on his face like he'd been kicked. "I have an idea, and it might be the only thing that will work for now. But you're not going to like it." He sighed and continued. "I say we make a crossroads deal-"

Dean interrupted him quickly. "No. Absolutely not." It was clear he was trying hard to mask his pain as he clenched and unclenched his jaw, staring straight ahead with narrowed green eyes.

Sam looked frustrated. "Look, we make the trade for the tablet, and if it works, there won't _be _anyone to collect."

"They won't give anyone ten years for that. Maybe not even one. I'm not letting anyone I care about go through that. Plus, they could refuse and then anyone could know our plan."

"They won't refuse if it's an angel soul." Samandriel came into the conversation. He _needed _to help the situation in heaven, and if that meant making a deal so they could focus on that, he was fine with it. He was never meant to survive, and he'd rather die nobly than for no reason.

Again, all eyes turned to him in the car. There was almost an uncomfortable silence. "Samandriel, you are too young to make judgement calls like that." Castiel finally broke the silence, looking disturbed at his suggestion. "It's not only dangerous for you, but dangerous for heaven- we have no idea what demons could do if they got their hands on an angel's soul..."

"But if we get the tablet, it can close hell forever, right?" He asked naively.

"Well, I guess that's how it's supposed to work-" Sam started.

"I need to do this. We must shut off hell, and then immediately work to restore heaven."

Dean was frustrated, and it showed. "Let's focus on one thing at a time. We need to keep going on the same track, and then maybe we'll move on. But right now, _this _has to be our main concern, sealing up hell."

Samandriel suddenly felt a bitter spike of emotion coming from Dean when he said the last sentence. He wasn't sure what to call it, but he could tell that Dean's heart was broken up about the issue. Samandriel tried to wrap his mind around the feeling and tried to turn it to english, but it was difficult.

"There's a piece missing here," He finally said, hoping he expressed it the right way. Sam looked away right when he had said it, emoting potent feelings of guilt. Dean permeated the air with extreme sorrow.

"We found that we had a younger half-brother. Long story short, he's still down there." Dean said in a quiet voice, not lifting his eyes from the road. "But if it's the price to pay..." Samandriel could tell he didn't mean that. He could tell he wanted to do anything to rescue that kid, but he felt defeated in that there was nothing he could do.

"I'm truly sorry," Samandriel replied quickly, dropping his eyes to the floor. There never was an easy way out, was there? There was silence that followed, and Samandriel could tell that he should not be bringing up the subject of their half-brother in the future.

Suddenly, Sam and Dean heard a synchronized gasp from the backseat. They both looked back, surprised, to see the teenager and the dark-haired man identically clutching their chests.

"Something's happened. There's been another tear: it might the penultimate-" Castiel started, was interrupted right away from Samandriel. He didn't seem to have taken the angelic message so lightly. When Cas began to explain and lower his clutching hand from his heart, the mousy-haired teen had only clenched his fist tighter and had doubled over on himself, his teeth powerfully interlocked in a twisted grimace as he let out a wrenching cry.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam quickly cried out. He knew that look, the look of pure pain. He tried to reach back to steady the kid who was swiftly falling forward, but Cas beat him to it. He grabbed him by the shoulders and swiftly pushed him back to a upright sitting position, and the teen didn't suppress his noise anymore, as his voice grew from a low-pitched yell to a full on scream of pain, broken by up-and-down sobs.

"Pull over." Castiel demanded in a low, montone voice. Dean didn't need to be told twice as he swung the car off to the side of road and the tires crunched on the gravel. Castiel scooted the immobilized kid with his body and quickly opened the door and shoved the two of them outside. He held onto his little brother's shoulder's tightly as he doubled over again and emptied his whole stomach. The kid wretched a few more times before straightening up, still clutching at his chest tightly with one hand. With the other, he roughly wiped his lips. He spat the sour taste from his mouth, and again clentched his teeth tight as his whole face wrinkled around the deep grimace.

"Fuuuuccckkkkk." He groaned, doubling over again and putting his hands on his knees, his light brown hair falling over his face as he breathed heavily.

"I didn't know angels had such dirty mouths," Dean said as they all observed the kid with surprised faces, as he was trying hard to regain his composure.

"This is not Samandriel. What you are seeing right now is his vessel, Alfie. Samandriel has regressed into the unconscious in order to cause less pain to Alfie."

"We cannot share our bodies with humans, like he's been doing, for this reason and many others. The truth is the human soul is not remotely comparable to the strength of an angel's. Just a small warning message could send the human soul in the most excruciating pain."

The three men watched silently as the kid slowly straightened up. There was something different about him that they noticed right away: he seemed a lot less tense and more laid back than when Samandriel had been present. He had the look of just any regular teenager, and when he started to speak, it was apparent in the casual way he spoke that the powerful being wasn't in control.

"Fuck. Oh, damn. I did _not _sign up for _this. _Oh, fuck me. Oh..." He rubbed his chest with little circles tenderly. The change was almost physical: his mannerisms and look on his face seemed to change and turn from loose and teenager-y to rigid and authoritative as Samandriel started to appear once again.

_I'm sorry. I didn't know something like that would happen. Are you feeling better now? _Samandriel quickly shot out to Alfie, feeling guilty as their body still shuddered and ached.

_Yes. _He said meekly, in a quiet thought that felt weak and sickly. _Is anything like that going to happen again? _He asked in a quiet voice, sounding like an afraid little kid. Samandriel felt a lurch in his chest as he was hit with a wall of guilt. He thought about what he had heard Castiel say: human souls just weren't strong enough for deal with normal things angels did.

_They might. _The two were silent to each other for a long while.

_I'm scared. _Came Alfie's small voice, breaking the long silence.

Samandriel knew there was only one solution, but he didn't know if he could bring himself to do it. He needed his friend in his life, he couldn't drown him. But he didn't want him to suffer again.

The brothers had decided to go to a motel for the night, as it was getting late anyway and they wanted to sleep after their long day and go pick up Kevin in the morning.

Sam and Dean bought just one room, in seeing that angels didn't need to sleep. The two flopped onto the beds and were able to fall asleep relatively quickly, after spending their lives with catching short amounts of sleep in dingy motels they were able to go out like lights.

When the two angels noticed they were both asleep, Castiel looked deeply into Samandriel's eyes.

"I know. I did not do what you instructed, and now I have experienced what you were trying to tell me. I apologize." Samandriel started, looking guiltily down at the floor.

"I did the same thing, you know." Castiel said in a low voice, and Samandriel looked up, surprised, to see him looking off to the side, with a misty gaze as if he was looking through everything. "I tried to make it work with Jimmy, he really was a wonderful man. He was so full of love, and faith, and he was just so pure-of-heart... I learned the hard way that angels and their vessel just can't mix. I had received a message, just like the one today, but I still kept him around."

"It was right in the middle of action that I had to push him down. I was going to meet with Dean, and they began shooting at me and it pained Jimmy so much that I had to do it. I did it even though he was the one who showed me emotions aren't such a bad thing, he was the one who showed me how to have friendship and love. But he's stayed completely dormant since. Samandriel, I did it to protect him." He paused and sighed.

"I know you are young and naive, but things are not meant to be this way. Are you friends with Alfie? Do you love him, do you want to protect him?" Samandriel felt his heart squeeze. "Yes," He said quietly, feeling a tear drop from his eye as he avoided the angel's gaze. Cas looked up at him with deep blue eyes, not saying anything else.

Samandriel closed his eyes lightly, and took a deep breath. He reached to find that instinct that had hit him the first time he'd melted into his new body, and seized Alfie's consciousness.

_Sam? _Alfie piped up in a small, innocent voice as Samandriel seized him. _I'm sorry. _Then he shoved, hoping to get it over with as quickly as possible. Alfie didn't put up much of a struggle, as if he knew that he was doing it so that he could avoid the pain. _I'm sorry. _Samandriel repeated, but this time he could tell it wasn't reaching anyone as the thought only bounced around his own head.

He slowly opened his eyelids, tears had slipped though under them. He looked to his older brother for comfort. He just felt so...hollow.

"You did the right thing, Samandriel. I promise I'm always looking out for you, I'm never going to have you do the wrong thing." Samandriel let another tear fall as he squeezed his eyes shut, nodding continuously. Cas put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Suddenly, an obnioxious ringtone started trilling in the dead of night. The two angels wearily turned to face the object of the noise. Dean groaned loudly and woke up to answer it, reaching with a heavy arm a few times until he found his cell phone.

"Hullo?" He answered in a groggy voice. "Kevin?!"

Sam stirred and shot up in bed. "Whatsgoinon?" He said in a slurry voice as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Kevin sat criss-crossed and squished in his closet, the black tablet in full on his lap. He spoke in hurried, hushed tones into his cell phone.

"I-I dunno what really happened, I blacked out again like when I'd located the tablet the first time, and next thing I know I have the full thing in my hands... I have no idea what happened or how I got it-"

"Wait, you're saying you have the full tablet right now?" Dean replied, and everyone in the room perked up and looked to Dean on the phone.

"Yeah. Can you guys come and get me now? Once they find out it's missing, I don't know how long it will be before they come after me." He said in a scared voice, just mentioning it he shifted his eyes around the small, cramped closet.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Did you get the spell?" Dean asked excitedly.

"Yes, but...there's some bad news. It's some sort of code or riddle or something, and I have no idea what it means. It says... 'To close the gate to hell forever' -

_A deadly piece of a hell beast's hand_

_The skeleton key of a righteous man_

_A drop from where the three rivers collide_

_The seal is the heart of the one who survives. _

That's it. I don't know what it means, but please come and get me soon..."

"We're on it. See you soon, Kevin." He snapped the phone shut quickly and looked to Sam, Castiel and Samandriel. "He's got the tablet, but he says he has no idea how he got it. He says he read the part that we need, but it's encoded. No need to do any trade," He said happily looking up to Samandriel. "No matter what you said before, I think it's really _you _who has too much heart." Samandriel looked down at the floor and smiled sadly, remembering what Alfie had said before about Castiel. _Maybe I do_.

"Thank god luck actually decided to play on our side for once." Sam sighed, rolling out of bed and starting to pull on clothes. "What did the tablet say?"

Dean repeated the rhyme he'd heard. Sam and Dean were still confused, but Castiel looked like he understood at least one of the sentences.

"I think I know what the first sentence means. _A deadly piece of a hellbeast's hand, _it has to be talking about hellhounds. The deadly part of their hand has to be their claws, which is how they kill what they are there to collect. It could be extremely dangerous to get the claws, but there_ are_ ways to kill them."

"Let's start there, then. Now let's go get Kevin." The four silently slipped out of the room in the middle of the night. It was pitch-black outside, and they padded out to the car quietly in the chilly night air under the dim yellow light of the streetlamps. Suddenly, things were falling into place. Maybe Samandriel wasn't a complete failure. Maybe he really could be the one who saves heaven from itself.

The shiny black car started up with a rumble as it slid out of the lot, sliding into the dark night. They had work to do.

* * *

**Thank you everyone for your reviews! Ideas have been pouring into my head for the outcome of this story ever since. Please continue to review and/or suggest! I love each one!**


	4. The Hellbeast's Hand

When they had finally arrived to pick up Kevin, they'd had to kick open the locked front door and they were all immediately met with buckets of cold water falling on their backs. Kevin looked up at them with his shining black eyes, and in seeing that they were safe he let out a sigh of relief. The four men tried to shake the water out of their hair and eyes as they stepped further into the house. It had been abandoned for what seemed like years, as water stains bloomed on the walls, and it was dirty and dusty inside.

"Sorry to call you guys so late," He apologized as he turned the tablet over in his hands. "I just thought, you know, it was pretty important... not that we need this anymore, anyway."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

"While I was waiting I copied the rest I'd missed from before down in here. I thought they might come and steal it back again..." He looked up shyly, as if he was ready to be jeered at and called a nerd like he had all of high school.

"Kevin, you rock." Dean said with a smile, and Kevin smiled back, shedding the air of tension right away.

"Do you think you have any idea what the riddle means?" Sam asked Kevin, as he went to rifle through the pages Kevin had copied and he'd stopped on the page where the rhyme was scrawled. "We think we know the meaning of the first line, but we're lost on everything else."

Kevin's face lit up, as if he had remembered what he was forgetting to mention. "I was putting a lot of thought into it, and I think I do understand the second line, _the skeleton key of a righteous man. _I was especially thinking about this after what happened to me, you know, with Crowley..." He shuddered as his four-fingered hand, still wrapped, curled into a loose fist.

"Spit it out, Kev." Dean said, looking enthralled.

"Well," Kevin continued, still looking at his injured hand as he flexed and unflexed his fist. "Are any of you familiar with _The Brothers Grimm?" _Dean guffawed. "We'd had enough crazy in our childhood without stories about more monsters."

"Anyway, there is one story in their collection called _The Seven Ravens. _Basically, it's the story of a little girl who goes to rescue her brothers after they were turned into ravens. I was trying to think about what 'skeleton key' might mean, and in this story she has to sacrifice a bit of herself, her pinky finger, to use as the skeleton key to release her brothers from their imprisonment.' " He looked over at his missing pinky finger after he was done explaining.

"When I did some more thinking, it seems like this whole spell revolves around sacrifice. It uses words like deadly, skeleton, one who survives..." He looked very somber. "Obviously, closing up hell isn't going to be a small feat." There was a small beat of silence. They all knew what they were in for, and they were willing to go to great lengths if it meant sealing it off forever.

"We think we've decoded the first line. We need to acquire the claw of a hellhound." Castiel broke the silence. "I have an idea. If we get Crowley to come and collect the tablet, there is no doubt that he will bring his hellhound with him. We can try and get the claw from there." He seemed to be deeply thinking. "Then, there is the issue of you humans being able to see the beast. I might be able to do something to fix that, but it will be extremely temporary. We might have about an hour."

"For now, let's look over these notes and see what we can do." Sam suggested as he began to leaf through the pages and pages of handwritten notes again. The three humans clumped together as Kevin began firing off sentences, trying to explain to them all that they'd need if they were going to go through with it, leaving the two angels alone.

When they were out of earshot, Castiel spoke up. "I have some bad news," He spoke softly to Samandriel. "It wasn't a coincidence that Kevin suddenly had the entire tablet. I could tell when I walked in that he'd been aided by two angels: the twins Calcifer and Isiah." Samandriel tried to pause and use the network to find the two names and associate them, but it wasn't clicking. "You might be too young to do that just yet. I understand now what they did: they are working as the recruiters for the pro-humans side, and in helping us get the tablet, they will want to collect their end of the favor soon, having us return to heaven and fight for their side."

"Is there any way we can avoid it?" Samandriel asked, feeling nervous all of the sudden. He didn't want to go back and fight, he'd seen enough violence in his short years. He wished he could console Alfie.

"I'm afraid not. These twins, they can be very tricky and cunning. They take after Gabriel in that way." Castiel looked a bit irked that he would have to deal with these mischievous brothers. "They may not come for a while. But we must help Sam and Dean for as long as we can."

"What about finding Gabriel?" Samandriel asked desperately. So much had been piled on his plate, he'd almost lost focus.

"We may be able to solve that when Calcilfer and Isiah finally come down to meet us. Like I said, they take after him in many ways. They might just be the two that persuade him to open up and return."

"So now we wait?" Samandriel asked. Everything was too entangled, too mixed up to make sense of anything yet.

"No. We still have to work to seal out the demons."

* * *

Dean closed his eyes lightly, feeling serene as he felt Castiel gently take the sides of his face. He'd volunteered to go first, just in case something bad were to happen. He was the type of person who absolutely refused to let anyone go before him.

"It may be a bit overwhelming at first, but it is the only way you will be able to see what us angels see. And it will be extremely temporary. So, we must work quickly once I start. Do you understand?" Castiel explained. Dean nodded, still keeping his eyes closed. He'd never admit it, but he was excited. He was curious to find out all he'd been missing as he had stared blindly into empty space.

He felt a sensation like hot lava pour from Cas's hands on the sides of his face, down into his skull, enveloping his brain and finally pouring into his eyes. He tried hard not to grimace or make any facial expression to show that he was in pain. Then, as quickly as it had started, the searing pain was over. Dean's eyelids fluttered and faltered, and he was a bit nervous for what he was finally going to see. He felt the hands lift from the sides of his head as Cas moved on to help Sam and Kevin with the procedure, and Dean opened his green eyes slowly.

He almost jumped back in surprise. Damn, they were _massive. _Cas's wings were enormous, almost triple his arm's length, and pitch black. He could barely make out that they were made of feathers at all, as they were so dark they almost seemed to suck in any light from the surroundings. When he did see the glossy outline of a feather, it flashed with raven-like deep purples and blues. His eyes flitted around the room, and he saw Samandriel as well: his wings were small and pure white, like the little strap on wings kids wore for Halloween sometimes. The only difference were these were clearly very real, as they seemed to endlessly be shuffling, flapping or readjusting in some manner.

That wasn't the only change he observed, as he could almost look through Cas's body to the substance within. He tried to focus, but just looking at it made his head swim a little. Inside the familiar body was a swirling white mist, with millions of different opacities and shades of light. The living white swirled almost cosmically, and the closest thing Dean could compare it too was a nebula. It make the resemblance even more uncanny as Cas seemed to have two small unmoving stars in his chest, one over his heart on one just slightly diagonal to that. These little points of white glowed with little pinpricks of solidified white, and looked very different compared to the swirling surroundings. He looked over to Samandriel again- the baby angel didn't have them.

Sam and Kevin had received their sights quite quickly, and were now standing and observing with wide eyes as well.

"What are those, Cas?" Dean asked, pointing out the little stars specifically. Castiel looked a little embarrassed as he put a hand over his chest as if to cover them up.

"It's hard to explain, and we don't have much time here." He said quickly, as his deep blue eyes shifted out the door. The agreements had been very clear- to meet Crowley in the middle of the street at noon exactly, that there was not to be any trouble or shit would go down. There would be a swift trade, the tablet for their safety, but it was more of a cautious hand-off.

"We have time for now. What are they? Are you sick or something?" Dean asked, and he actually felt concerned. What if he was sick? What if those 'stars' were some type of tumors that he'd been afraid to tell them about? Suddenly the pretty star-like pricks of light seemed a lot less cheerful.

Castiel sighed. "It's nothing like that. They're..." He struggled to find the most appropriate word, he furrowed his brows in concentration, trying to explain. "They're...quotas."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He answered, somewhat annoyed at the vagueness. Obviously these things weren't so normal, and Cas had something he was hiding.

"The angel network works a lot like, hm, human hormones. Messages are sent continuously, and things move and connect and change unconsciously to our needs. But ever since it's begun to tear, the whole system was thrown off. Some systems completely failed and shut off, other things are failing to function quickly. One of the systems that shut off was the Internal Grace. It is no longer responding to our need of more baby angels, and as our numbers dwindle the system remains completely stagnant. These are like quotas because I must, sometime in the future, fulfill my requirement."

Dean looked shocked, but then he broke into a snide smile. "All that fancy explanation to say you're preg-" "Dean, stop." Sam interrupted, looking to Castiel with a sympathetic look.

"You misunderstand," Cas said defensively, his massive black wings shifting ever so slightly in embarrassment. "They have nothing to do with passing on genes or having offspring. Grace transcends genetics, as it is merely a life source. No angels are born with passed on or similar characteristics, unless they are twins. These are like the block of wood that is essential to eventually have a large fire. They are merely the minimum amount of grace required to eventually build up enough to become a newborn." He quickly worded his rebuttal, speaking in such a low voice that it almost started to rumble.

"Sheesh, don't get your panties in a wad, I was only having a little fun." Dean said innocently.

"My being upset has nothing to do with undergarments. And nothing about this situation is 'fun'. I should not have to be in this predicament in the first place, and the Internal Grace failing to function is certainly not 'fun'." He said moodily, covering up the tiny diagonal stars again. Dean shot Sam a look, who only met it with a shrug. The five men made their way outside, and went to stand in the street under the stoplight. The town had been Crowley's pick, and it was some abandoned, old town that hadn't looked like anyone had been there for years and years. Perfect for a deal like this one.

They'd been waiting for a few minutes under the hot sun. "Do not show that you are able to see his true face, or the hound. It may come as a shock, but try to keep your composure as calm as possible." Castiel warned as they waited. The minutes dragged by, as all the humans were on edge and filled with suspense as they tried to imagine what they might possibly see.

When Crowley did finally appear, the humans tried their hardest not to jump or shudder when they saw his true face. He was _ugly. _Millions of strange-looking, tar-black intestines twisted, bloated and shrunk inside the occupied human body. They looked like they were coated with a poisonous and slimy pitch black tar, as they strange colon-like shapes dripped thickly and slid over each other like writhing snakes. His face was even worse: piercing white eyes with pinpoint pupils stared right at them, and they never stayed in the same position on his face as his loose eyeballs rose and fell, popped and receded with the constant moving of the tarry, thin intestines in his face, the only things holding the eyes in place. His mouth was unnaturally wide like the cheshire cat's, cutting through his always-moving cheeks. His tongue was blood-red, thin like a ribbon, and ended in a sharp point, like a snake's without the little split. His teeth were horrible: pure white and sharper than any blade, and had rows upon rows like a shark's, except for the two longest, saber-like teeth on either side of his snout. Damn, he was ugly.

The hound next to him was straight out of nightmares. It was probably the most accurate mascot for what kids imagine the monsters under their beds to look like. The beast was built like a house, with bulging arms and legs, as it rested on its haunches as if it was ready to leap at their throats at any second. It had a pure white skeleton, but bits of it shone through only sometimes as the tarry snakes moved over and passed through them continuously. It's build was like a dog's but much larger with bowed bones to make up the framework of its huge, black body. It's paws were enormous, at least the size of two human heads combined, with shiny white claws (the color matched the unholy white of its skeleton) that stuck out like daggers. It's face was equally haunting: it had blood-red, pupiless eyes, and a long snout like an alligator's, except for the very canine way the skin was deeply wrinkled in a snarl, much like a wolf's. It's thick red tongue licked it's lips, as a massive paw clawed and stamped at the ground impatiently. It emulated the phrase _bloodthirsty _completely.

"Hand over the tablet and none of you will get hurt. Oh, hello Samandriel. Do you remember me?" The demon asked cockily, and Dean saw the first time the little teen's face actually express anger. Samandriel's lips seemed to curl up with hate as his nose wrinkled angrily and his eyes, which were usually wide and full of curiosity and wonder, narrowed dangerously.

"You got rid of your friend, I see. What a shame. I would like to thank him personally- he's probably the reason why I was able to get those secrets out so easily." He said cooly, glancing down at his curled hand.

"That's not true!" Samandriel spat, looking like he was ready to pounce at Crowley and hash it out himself. Cas shot him a warning glance.

"Look, we wanted to make the trade off, isn't that right?" He tried to diffuse the situation quickly. Crowley raised his eyebrow in wanting to see the goods first, in which Kevin held up the tablet with his good hand.

"The tablet for Adam just like we'd discussed, correct?" Crowley purred.

Sam and Dean gasped. "That wasn't part of the deal," Dean hissed at Cas, his heart rate hiking up right away. This could become so much more dangerous if it was a real _trade, _not just a hand-off. "What were you thinking?"

"He does not deserve to stay in hell forever. And Crowley is willing to make the trade." Cas said calmly as he took the tablet from Kevin's arms. Kevin looked up at him skeptically as he somewhat unwillingly gave up the tablet. He seemed to be thinking the same thing: the situation had grown much more dangerous if it really was a proper trade.

Crowley snapped, an annoyingly satisfied look on his face. "My boys have just pulled him out are releasing him to heaven as...we...speak." He slowed down and looked toward the sky, as if he could physically see the boy return.

"Go ahead and search. He'll be there." Crowley said almost impatiently. Cas did a quick scan of all of heaven's residents, something he was able to do in a manner of seconds even though there were billions of them. "He has returned him," He said under his breath, and started to walk forward with the tablet in his grasp. He handed it gingerly to Crowley, and then, with a slight of hand so quick that no one could react, his blade slid into his palm and he lunged to the hellhound, slicing at its thick stump of a leg. The hound howled loudly and lunged powerfully at Castiel.

The three humans were frozen in shock. Samandriel struggled to figure out what he should do: should he rush up to help, or would he only get in the way? And how could he conjure up his own blade? The four watched powerlessly as the scene unfolded.

The angel kept trying to hack at the same leg, and tarry mucus-like droplets flew everywhere as the beast lunged at him again and again, savagely thrashing his massive head from side to side as he tried to snap at the angel's neck. Castiel tried to throw him off with all his strength, but the two were interlocked as they roughly tumbled in a mess of bodies made of deep black, shiny wings and wormy black tar. His massive paws came up to scrape down his chest, but kept being blocked as Cas swung almost faster than the eye could see with his silver blade. They tumbled again, both viciously at each other's throats.

"Cas!" Dean cried out, trying to rush to his friend's aid. Sam pulled out the bottle from his coat-the demon bomb they'd made, but Crowley quickly saw it. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," He said cooly as he made a gripping motion and the bottle broke in Sam's hands, making it useless. Samandriel felt his human heart beat faster and faster, and next thing he knew he felt a heavy weight as his own blade slipped into his hand. He tried to rush forward to help, but things were moving too fast for him to intervene.

The hellish beast had now rolled Castiel completely over with a powerful ram of his long snout, and tilting his head upward this time, threw the angel slightly into the air. The giant beast then snapped his snout together and clamped it down onto Cas's midsection like he was merely a rag doll, and it made it to the nearest building in one bound of its gigantic haunches as it slammed the angel into a wall. The bricks cratered and Cas tried to swing at the nasty-looking paws one more time, a frightening expression on his black-spattered face. The hound responded with another powerful shove, whipping his body to wriggle into the building as the bricks gave way, with a loud clatter and a cloud of dust, and they only saw his yard-long tail whipping from side to side, spattering black everywhere like a paintbrush, as it tried to savagely rip the angel's throat out.

"That's my girl, isn't it?" Crowley said, as he looked absolutely enthralled by the whole ordeal. "Sic 'im, girl!" Suddenly, there was a loud, hellish yelp that almost popped out the human's eardrums. They all froze in place to cover their ears tightly, as the extremely loud whimpering continued.

"C'mere girl! Whose a good girl? You are!" The dog burrowed viciously into the fallen angel one more time before bounding with a single leap back to Crowley's side, leaving drips of demony tar and black blood everywhere as it whimpered to his side and seemed to put it's weight on only one of its front feet.

"Just to serve as a warning to not try and mess with me or my dog again," Crowley said coldly as he made a swift rising motion with his hand. "Normally after trying to sabotage a deal like that, I'd kill you all. Consider yourselves lucky with this," He sneered, as he and the hellhound swiftly disappeared with the tablet.

"Cas!" Dean's heart-wrentching cry rang through the air as they had realized what Crowley had done. With that quick little hand motion, he had quickly set the building Castiel was buried in on fire, and the bright orange flames were climbing higher and growing hotter by the second. Dean didn't even hesitate to charge headfirst into the burning building, while the other three stood there, paralyzed at what to do, as the orange firelight reflected in their eyes and the acrid, smoky smell started to curl into their nostrils.

"Stay here!" Samandriel cried out to Sam and Kevin when he saw that they were now intending to run right after Dean into the building. Suddenly, the two physically could not move as Samandriel charged into the building, having unintentionally bound them to their spots.

It was smoky inside, and very hard to see as Samandriel's eyes teared up and soot shot into his nose painfully. The fire was growing hotter and hotter on his cheeks, and he blindly tried to find the two men. He tried to call out their names, but a rush of heavy smoke choked his words and he had to stop and cough terribly. He felt panic rise as he kept trying to look for them but he found nothing but sooty brick walls, tongues of flame and a never ending acrid cloud of gray smoke.

He was beginning to lose hope as he clutched his blade tightly, when he finally saw two silhouettes against the bright orange flames: Dean had found Castiel, and was reaching unflinchingly into the blazing flames to pull him directly out. Samandriel coughed and covered his running nose and mouth with his elbow and went to try and reach the two, but he felt the effects of the oxygen deprivation on his human body as stars began to pop in his eyes, his lungs screamed for air, and as his vision started to flood with black he could barely balance on the pile of rubbled bricks. He felt himself falling over, before he caught a glimpse of what he thought might just be his oxygen deprived mind playing tricks on him, the faint shadow-liked outline of two winged humans. He was falling, black completely cutting off his vision, knowing that this might be the end...

Instead of hitting a pile of sharp bricks and feeling hot flames on his face, Samandriel fell onto a somewhat soft and cold dirt ground. He opened his eyes, and there was still a few dark spots in his vision, but he breathed in a deep breath of clean air gratefully and coughed a few times. He rolled over with heavy, somewhat burnt limbs as he checked his surrounds. Kevin and Sam were there, looking extremely confused, as they looked around as well. As far as Samandriel could tell, they were in some old abandoned car repair yard. It didn't look like anyone had been there in years-cars were overridden with rust, and the road next to it had deep cracks in the sun-bleached, grey concrete, as the tall grass on the other side swayed harmlessly in the wind.

"Dean!" Samandriel heard Sam call out, as he tried to sit up and get his bearings. His face felt hot and tight, and he looked at his pale hands to see they were covered with a thin film of black dust, and a few blisters had emerged from angry red splotches. As he watched, the skin began to smooth out and return to a pale white. He looked over, exhausted, to see what Sam was so worked up about. Then, he remembered that haunting image of one man just reaching in and pulling the limp body out of the fire,he had been so unhesitant, so determined and strong...

What he saw was not very pretty. Dean was flat on his back, eyes closed and breathing shallowly. Tear stains streaked down his sooty face, and he had taken everything off except for his T-shirt, and his arms were deeply burned: angry purple and red blotches were everywhere, with bubbles of glossy reddish-white and burnt splotches and swirls of black. It hadn't ended there: on one of his jawlines and cheeks the burns still crept up, making his jaw and part of his cheek look like a melted pizza.

"Are you okay? Open your eyes, Dean." Sam almost demanded, fear overflowing in his voice. Dean's eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes, and they seemed _tired. _His face looked tense as he tried hard to hold back an expression of pain.

"Cas will be back soon. He can fix this." Sam said loudly, as if convincing himself. It looked bad. It looked _really _bad. Dean mumbled and tried to stand up, but he could only sit up, as he couldn't place his hands anywhere to push himself up, his hands were red and shiny and burnt just like the rest of his arms. Sam silently knelt down and wrapped a strong arm around his brother's midsection, helping him stand on his feet, trying hard not to touch any of his burns. "We need to go inside and get this cleaned before anything gets infected," He said solemnly, helping Dean to limp inside.

Kevin ran ahead into the abandoned house and began to rummage for any first aid, as Sam and Dean slowly made it to the dirty kitchen. Sam ran the sink (he was met with a blast of reddish-brown water from the rust, but kept it on until the water finally ran clear) as he rinsed and twisted a washcloth he'd found a few times. Dean had slid up to sit on the counter, and had taken off his smokey and dirty T-shirt. His chest was red and the skin looked irritated, but that was about it.

Kevin quickly returned with a first aid kit, and starting digging through that. He pulled out ace bandages, disinfectant, gauze: anything he thought could help. Sam tried to dab at the exposed skin, and Dean grimaced deeply and suppressed a cry of pain.

Sam stopped and looked at him sternly. "You can't always do this to yourself, Dean! Think of yourself for once, not others! You don't always have to fix everyone-"

"Are you saying I should have left him there? I'd do anything for him, just like I'd do anything for you! He's my best friend and I lov-" He stopped before he'd say the full sentence, fuming, as it looked like it pained him to yell as the raw skin on his cheek stretched with each angry word.

"I don't give a fuck what I look like, Sam. Hunting isn't about looking _pretty. _If I look like this forever, so be it. It's pretty damn worth it in my eyes." He continued, seething. The horrible part was Sam could almost imagine it- people staring at his melted cheek as the stringy scars and forever-blisters shone in bright white scars, as he'd avert his eyes and pretend it didn't bother him: people being afraid to touch the twisted, clumpy skin as he tried to give them a business card... it was all too much. Dean frowned at the look Sam was giving him. He didn't want having his morals questioned, ever. He knew what he had to do, and that was go to any cost to protect his friends and family. And if that meant sprinting headfirst into a fire, then he'd do it.

"I know, Dean. I just think you should recognize that you're worth something." The two were quiet for a long time as Sam continued to gently dab at the burned arms, and finally he began gently rolling out the ace bandage to fit onto them. Dean no longer looked angry, but he only looked pitifully in pain as he was trying to think of other things. Samandriel couldn't take it anymore: he had to leave the room.

He went into the living room and just stood there, staring at nothing, before he went to collapse onto a dirty footrest that smelled like old people and dirty dog. He buried his head into his palms and sat there, barely even noticing when Kevin had come inside to join him.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked quietly, sitting down next to him.

"No," Samandriel said tearfully, too embarrassed to look up from his hands. Kevin could still barely see his faded white baby wings as they drooped pitifully down his back. "I'm pretty much the worst angel ever."

"Join the club. Do you really think I'm the best prophet ever?" Samandriel could tell the kid was trying to comfort him, but he only felt more sad. He missed Alfie.

"That wasn't even me who saved everyone back there. Now I can't even heal him. Everyone in heaven must think I'm pretty useless."

"That's not true." Kevin reassured him. Samandriel felt bad again that this kid was being very nice to him and he was being quite rude in return. "Thanks," Samandriel said quietly as he finally lifted his hands from over his eyes. He felt worried for Dean.

* * *

Castiel opened his deep blue eyes, and he was met with a blaring white room. This could only be one place: heaven. His eyes adjusted to the bright white, and he finally was able to focus on who sat on the other side of the table. _Oh, great. _He thought as he recognized his brothers right away: Calcifer and Isiah.

The two were the spitting image of what would imagine angels to look like: in their true forms they looked exactly identical, with handsome facial features, lanky arms and legs, and fluffy white-blonde hair that fell into their amber-gold eyes. They both had large, identical light grey wings with white speckles. At the moment they occupied vessels: a set of skinny twin teenage boys with dark heads of wavy hair and pale grey-blue eyes. The two chilled almost annoyingly on their chairs, stretching out their lanky borrowed legs and relaxing as if they were at a sleepover instead of getting ready to discuss some serious plans. They wore high-end clothes, but their outfits were very put together, unlike Castiel's loose clothing and backward tie. Calcifer was wearing a pair of black denim skinny jeans and combat boots, with a pull-over navy blue sweater as the white collar of his shirt underneath stuck out at the neck and poked out from the bottom of his sweater. Isiah sat to his left, and was wearing stone-washed jeans and converse, with a cream quarter button-down shirt and thin black suspenders. _  
_

"Look what the cats dragged in. And by cats, I mean us." Calcifer started off, like he usually did, as he took the lollipop from his mouth and twirled it between his fingers lazily. Cas looked even more out-of-place as he was extremely dirty from the fire, his trench coat was in burnt tatters, and hellhound blood and slime was spattered across his face and all over his clothes, and he seemed to be coated in a dusting of soot.

"I can't stay here. I must go back to earth, my humans need me, one of them is gravely injured-"

"Ah, but that's what we're here to talk about, isn't it? Humans?" Isiah spoke up, finally perking up from his slouchy, chill position as he looked like he finally wanted to talk as he leaned over the table in front of him and interlocked his fingers.

"Why don't you take a seat?" Calcifer practically purred. Castiel could look past the bodies they currently occupied to see their shining amber eyes were both full of passion for the pro-humans, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. These two had a lot of heart, but the trap of a situation they'd put Castiel into seemed almost unfair. Both of their graces were overwhelmingly dotted with stars, they must have had at least twenty each.

Castiel refused to make any inclination that he was going to sit in the chair in front of him. "A little over your heads there, don't you think?" He mentioned the clusters of stars that both of them had stuffed into their graces. Calcifer scoffed and waved his hand as if to dismiss it. "We're only doing our duty. And what about you? Are you going to cash in your little requirements soon?" Castiel started to get angry. He needed to leave _now, _each minute he spent up here with his brothers was another that Dean suffered.

"I never asked for your help," He said with narrowed eyes, refusing to even glance at the chair as he defiantly remained standing up.

"But you see, you keep your core human form and you have two quotas already. Don't you want the pro-humans to triumph? We believed that if we gave you something to help you complete your mission with the humans faster, you would return to heaven faster." Isiah explain cooly, sliding him thumb under one of his suspenders.

"You have an entitlement to return, Castiel. We've helped your ass more than once, and we'd like a return of the favor." Calcifer finished, looking like he didn't want anything said to counter him. Castiel sighed. There was no arguing with these two, the unbreakable brothers who together were a powerhouse for the trickiest situations.

"I am fully committed to the pro-humans. But please, I need more time. I will commit myself to the cause soon enough."

The twins exchanged skeptical glances. "How long do you think this war is going to last exactly, Castiel?" Isiah spoke up softly. "We all know that there might only be one more tear before the whole network splits apart. Will you be on our side when that happens?"

"I already am on your side." Castiel said irritably. "If you'd really like help, why don't you try and find Gabriel? You two are probably the only one's he'll listen to. I already gave you my word, now let me return to my humans."

The twins looked at each other lazily. "You may leave, but we won't forget your promise." Calcifer said almost darkly.

Castiel appeared in the kitchen suddenly with Sam and Dean, who both had relief pouring through their eyes when they saw him. Dean was in bad shape: he had broken out into a sweat, and he looked feverish as he held his boiled arms up slightly so they wouldn't touch anything. Castiel touched his good cheek softly with his hand, and to his surprise his friend closed his eyes and somewhat nudged into it with trust. His skin started to smooth out and the angry red and purple began to even out, and the bubbles and blisters seem to recede and the shininess disappeared as healthy skin faded over it.

Cas finished and took his hand away slowly, and slipped it under his coat to collect something from a pocket. He smiled shyly as he pulled out the shining white claw, still dirty with black blood and tar. Sam's eyes widened and he tackled him into a hug. Dean, still sitting on the counter, was almost knocked over as the two leaned toward him. _Why the hell not. _He thought to himself as he used his newly healed arms for the first time to wrap them around his brother and his friend.

Calcifer and Isiah sure did fiercely support the pro-human side, but Cas doubted if they knew what they were really fighting for. The love humans could hold for each other was worth fighting everything for.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Sorry if this chapter was a bit dark, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. Please tell me what you think about Calcifer and Isiah! Being a twin myself, I felt like writing those types of characters into the story. Please continue to review if you'd like me to continue the story! Thanks everyone who comments regularly as well :D**


	5. The Great Divide

The final split had stuck as quick as lightning. With no warning whatsoever, Samandriel simply collapsed and hit the ground hard. Castiel was very disoriented, but still conscious. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed firmly on the sides of his head, and sank to his knees.

"Cas!" Dean cried out, rushing foward to catch his swiftly falling friend. Castiel looked up into his face with strained eyes, as if he was looking directly at the sun, before quickly shutting his eyes again.

"It's happening," He said hoarsely, as he pressed his palms over his face and doubled into himself. Things went into emergency mode from there: the two angels were quickly placed in the backseat of the car, and the engine roared to life.

"What are we looking at here, Cas? Come on, you have to answer me." Dean demanded from behind the wheel as Castiel struggled to stay conscious.

"_I don't know. _This has never-" He paused as his face grimaced in pain at a particularly strong tear. He tried hard to keep from crying out. Him and Samandriel were looking progressively worse: their faces had become substantially paler, and clammy sweat was beginning to bead on their foreheads. Cas was obviously battling to stay awake, but sleeping didn't look any more pleasant from the way Samandriel appeared.

"I can't...I can't feel my brothers..." Castiel looked confused and disoriented as his eyes began to look more delirious. "They're...I..." His heavy eyelids started to close, and his body was loosing strength. Finally he dropped into a deep, but feverish sleep as he leaned heavily on the car door.

"We need to find someplace safe for them until this whole thing is over. Look for any motel or-"

"Dean, watch out!" Sam cried, as suddenly the headlights illuminated a person just standing in the middle of the street, as the bright white lights shone on his round, very serious face. The very strong beams of light cast his shadow on the ground: complete with shadows of wings. There was a deep crater of concrete and he was standing in the very epicenter.

The dark-haired young man (he looked around nineteen or twenty) looked completely distraught as he stood with his legs shoulder-width apart in a fighting stance. His clothes were distinguished and high fashion, but they were completely wrecked now. His collared shirt and pullover sweater combo had been torn, dirtied and completely tattered. One of the sleeves had been torn off completely to reveal a slender, pale arm that had been scratched up and he had his bicep thickly wrapped with white cloth, with some black bleeding through. His black combat boots and bottoms of his black denim were caked with a dark mud. He saw the car's lights and looked up with a heartbreaking expression: Dean knew that expression far too well, it was the look of someone who was ardently worried about someone close to him.

Dean went to open the car door, but was roughly stopped by Sam. "Stop. Haven't you been listening? How do we know he's on the right side? On Cas's side?"

The young man climbed from the crater and looked exhausted, wiping his dirty cheek with the back of his hand before putting showing both of his palms and walking toward the car. He didn't look like he was doing so well as he started to amble slowly toward the car. He walked with a slight limp, and he looked like he might collapse at any moment.

"Look at this guy, Sam. If he wanted to hurt us, he would have done something by now." He reached for the door handle again, and Sam tried to grab him as he swiftly slid from his seat. "Dammit! Stop being stupid and use your head, Dean!"

Dean strode up the young man and loaded his gun and pointed it right between the young man's eyes. The fallen angel looked up wearily with pale grey-blue irises, looking like he didn't care if he shot or not.

"You're with the pro-humans?" Dean asked in a low growl, the gun was extended without even a waver or shake of his hand. The man nodded and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, which was beginning to bead with sweat as well.

"My name is Calcifer. I'm not only on the pro-human side, I'm one of the five who practically run it." He spoke as if he was short of breath, but that didn't mean he left out his caustic way of speaking. He leaned down with his hands on his knees to breathe for a second before he straightened up slightly.

"That means you are still connected to Castiel?"

The man nodded, closing his eyes this time. He really did look like he was about to fall over. He swayed a tiny bit.

"Tell me something that only Castiel would know." He demanded, and the guy seemed like he wasn't going to respond for a second as he stood there with closed eyes, but finally he spoke up sleepily.

"You have a nickname for him, Cas, but he hopes that you never learn Enochian because the nickname sounds ugly in that language." The man smiled slightly, a happy light dancing in his semi-closed eyes if for only a brief moment. "He is very clever, Castiel. But it never fails to amuse me how much of a liking he had taken to you two. He'd do anything for his humans."

Dean knew right away that the man was being genuine. Plus, the 'other side' frowned upon human emotions, but this guy was blatantly flaunting them.

"May I ask for your help?" Calcifer asked, now grabbing on to his wounded and wrapped arm. He looked like his mind was somewhere else, worried about someone else. He looked like he was on the verge of collapsing just like the other two had done.

"Alright, get in the car." Dean said gruffly as he strode back to the driver's seat. The lanky young man followed him slowly with a limp as he opened the back door and crawled into the last available seat, and he curled up in on himself as he leaned onto the limp Samandriel in the middle seat. He looked so pitiful that the two humans couldn't help but feel bad.

"Why is it that you're still awake while these two aren't?" Sam asked, trying to get as much information of this is new guy before he passed out as well.

"Think of heaven like a heat source. Before it had been a blazing fire, and now it's only a few coals. It cannot be far reaching anymore, and those who are left in the cold are beginning to loose energy quickly." He closed his eyes and drew in a quick breath.

"All of us are going to be experiencing fallout. The system is now trying to function at only half the size, and as a separate entity. It needs to...grow on it's own...before...we can't..." He was getting extremely short of breath as he reached over to hug Samandriel like he was a large teddy bear, his eyes were closed now, and by the looks of it he wasn't opening them anytime soon again. He sighed deeply and looked like he was about to cry. "..._Isiah, Isiah, I'm going to find you again, later, I promise..." _He muttered feverishly before he was breathing shallowly, asleep.

The two brothers exchanged glances. "What, are we just sick angel daycare or something now?" Dean said, glancing at the sickly, sleeping faces in the back seat.

"Dean, they need our help. God knows they've helped us." Sam answered sympathetically. Dean flashed back to when Cas had come to the rescue and quickly healed him of those horrible burns. He'd done so many other things, too many to count. He just hoped that things wouldn't be this bad for long: carrying around three low-power angels was basically like painting a bright red bull's eye on their backs.

"But look at them, Dean. They're kind of sweet," Sam said, looking back at the three sleeping angels who were unconciously hugging onto each other as if for warmth. It was strange to think that their vessels didn't reflect who they truly were; an army general, a sympatheic warrior, and an infant. They were actually so starkingly different, but so similar at the same time. "Let's get these little angels to safety."

* * *

Samandriel had felt the split like he'd been struck down by lightning. He could have stayed conscious for a little longer, but he decided to not fight it and let the blackness pull him down, deep down. It was painful to say the least. He felt each rip right down in his very soul, right to the bottom of his existence. As it got closer and closer to cutting off completely, he started to feel what was really happening. So many of his brothers and sisters, although he had never met them, started flowing out from his awareness as they became completely lost. There was no way he could tell how many slipped away, how many seemed to be torn out of his mind and basically turn into nothingness.

Samandriel felt a sensation a lot like sleeping as he felt like he was fading: he could imagine himself becoming smaller and smaller, and more and more transparent until felt barely any power anymore. Then, the worst thing he could imagine started to happen. He felt as he was getting weaker and receding into a deep sleep, he felt a familiar conscious bubbling up as he sunk closer and closer to where it was located.

_Oh, no. No, no, this can't be happening. _He thought to himself, reaching with a weak hand to try and push down. He found himself not even being able to hold up his hand, and much less push down with the strength required. Alfie began to surface and sputter inaudibly, as Samandriel sunk deeper into nothingness. Then, just as he felt like he was going to disappear into nothingness as well, he felt a painful tug and he went skyrocketing away, and fear gripped him as he didn't know where.

There was a flash of light from the bedroom, where the three men had been tucked away and sleeping soundly. Sam and Dean had been eating dinner after a long day, and they both widened their eyes and rushed up immediately to the back room. The three still appeared fast asleep, and Dean went up to Castiel right away. He lightly shook his shoulder, then tried to slap his face to wake him up. Nothing. They got the same result from Calcifer. Or rather, Calcifer's vessel. It seemed like the angels had left, leaving empty bodies behind.

Alfie took a while to fight his way to open his eyes or even lick his extremely parched lips. He knew that once the angel returned he would be lost again, and the only reason he was here was because Samandriel had been very, very weak, and had sunk even farther than were Alfie usually was in his mind. Now, the barely-there force was completely gone. His eyelids fluttered open weakly, A dark room came into view- a dingy motel, as he saw two men staring at him, and he stared back through half-closed lids, as he wasn't able to muster enough energy to even open them all the way.

He struggled to remember these people's names- one of them started with a D, he was pretty sure. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he had shared his body with its new host: he felt like he'd finally awoken from a deep, deep sleep.

"Great, you're awake." One of them said, turning on a dim lamp that emitted soft yellow light, and Alfie's irises contracted sharply at the light source. The man's face fell when he looked at the teenager who was tucked snugly into the blankets. "You're not him." He said, raising his eyebrow. Alfie was unable to respond as he only stared with slightly open eyes.

"How is he doing? Is he okay?" Dean asked, feeling genuinely concerned. He had grown to like the little Samandriel, and he was extremely worried about how Cas was doing too.

"He's gone," Alfie managed to croak out. He was hungry, thirsty, and _tired. _He almost just wanted Samandriel to come back so he could just sleep in comfort again. It felt almost sickening to be fully conscious after being gone. The brothers exchanged glances again; this was not good.

* * *

Castiel opened his eyes, and without even looking around he knew he had been pulled sharply back to heaven, it felt very alike to when a sigil had jerked him back in the past. He felt a strange sensation and realized that he had not brought his body with him- it was just his core form that he had painfully shed all his extra decorations to his soul that had grown with age, so that he could wear his core human form as an emblem of his commitment to the pro-human side. He didn't look much different than his vessel on earth; he still had vivid, deep blue eyes, and ink-black hair. He stared at the blazingly white-grey sky, and felt a chill as he saw snowflakes float down slowly and melt into little droplets on his face and arms. He rolled over and got up with difficulty, he felt drained of energy. He shook his massive black wings to rid them of snow and he looked around.

He had landed in the middle of a cold, wintry forest. Thin, charcoal black trees extended into the sky and faded into gray-white mist. It didn't take him long to see little Samandriel lying there flat on his back, eyes closed. He looked about three now in his human body, with thin, pale arms and legs that were now in a starfish position. His pure white wings were almost blending into the white snow that layered on the ground. The little boy had messy, straight dark brown hair and a string of freckles on the tops of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. An angel with freckles. Castiel could only recall a few others like that- it was almost as rare as twins. Speaking of twins- he looked to see a Calcifer-shaped imprint in the snow, followed by fresh footprints.

He knelt down and softly shook the kid's shoulders, and he got no response. "Samandriel. Wake up, we need to get home..." He then laid a soft hand on his little brother's cheek. It was warm, and Castiel felt a similar sensation as grace began to tug from his chest and float peacefully toward the kid. He understood now; he needed extra strength when he was weak, like he had been when they'd rescued him from the torture chamber. He opened his big, childish eyes. They seemed to plead Castiel for help from their deep stormy gray depths. He raised his skinny arms toward him as if he wanted him to lift him up and carry him.

"Okay, come here." Castiel had strain himself reach under his armpits and lift the small body, he felt so weak himself. He had just brought Samandriel into a tight hold as the kid went into a side hug and Cas held the small of back, when a large boom went off, it was so loud and had such force that some of the snow fell from the branches of the black trees.

"We need to get out of here," He said almost to himself as he began to run through the trees, which didn't seem so peaceful anymore. He wasn't running for long when he heard muffled noises of fighting, and the scene opened up before him like a horrible painting. Down in an open field covered in white, a battle raged on. Angels wearing human bodies were on one side, they all emitted warm, white light that brought feelings of comfort and emotions, while the other side consisted of lumps of coral-like pieces of all different animal parts, with several faces. Their light felt cold, piercing and harsh. It was like a nightmare as everyone rushed around sporadically, blades flashing, screams, yells and shrieks pierced the air.

Castiel finally found the source of the loud boom before. Someone (from which side, he wasn't sure) threw down a holy oil bomb, which exploded with such force to push a diameter of angels away and the ones who the flames had hit were immediately incinerated. Castiel and Samandriel hugged each other tightly as they both got a thick surge of fresh pain- a few on their side had just been hit. Cas looked down and saw that one had been gravely injured, in trying to shield the others, the wall of flame had hit him from the side and burned away half of the protective, light grey wing with white spots. Isiah. Calcifer and his brother might seem a bit cocky and pretentious, but damn, they had heart. That was probably why they and three others were in control of the whole operation.

He saw the mass of human bodies sprint and swarm away in the opposite direction, shouts to retreat repeated over and over. Castiel dipped back into the forrest and went to meet up with them, trying to slide as quickly and quietly as possible among the trees. He heard soft talking and crunching in the snow and he finally met up with a few angels on his side. They shone with their warm lights, and he felt almost like a man coming in from the cold and sitting in front of a fire. He finally set Samandriel down, who clung tightly to his leg as he looked out with worried eyes to the bunch of people.

"Castiel," He heard Calcifer call to him softly from not too far away. He made his way over to the voice, reaching down with a gentle hand to hold Samandriel's. He read his little brother's emotions: he was shaken up at the scene he'd just witnessed, and now he felt scared and uncomfortable at everyone staring at him. They hadn't known that there had been any survivors from the pro-apocalype's horrible massacre, and now all eyes fell on him. He tried to avoid their stares as he held tightly onto Castiel's significantly larger hand.

Calcifer was sitting right next to his identical twin with a gentle arm thrown over his shoulder, looking relieved at having found him but at the same time looking guilty that he couldn't do more for his pain. Isiah's right wing had been halfway burnt away, and now the edges of his remaining feathers were a deep black, and a few charcoal bones even stuck out from the top. His face was tight with pain and very pale as he leaned slightly toward Calcifer. His white-blonde hair was falling over his closed eyes as he breathed in shallowly.

Calcifer looked up with his twinkling golden-amber eyes, which were possibly his best feature. Castiel was ready for him to sentence him to stay; he felt his chest squeeze in the fear of the thought of having to abandon Sam and Dean when they needed him most. But once the order was given, he would not be able to ignore it. In a world with hardly any authority, they had to respect any of the five in command's directions. His body tensed up as he waited for Calcifer to speak.

Instead, he started with a surprisingly uncharacteristic kind voice. "Your humans were very kind to me." He said, blinking slowly. He had taken off the white cloth he'd wrapped around his upper arm, and Castiel was shocked to see a thick black horizontal line streaked across his arm, with darkly colored veins extending past the wound and regressing into his body. If he was right, it almost looked like the effects of an angel killed from Leviathans.

He noticed Castiel staring at his arm. "When you return, you must be extremely careful. There have been innovations in weapons and warfare. What you're looking at right here was the effects of a holy oil bomb." He said, nodding toward Isiah. "What you see here, thank god they only nicked me, are Leviathan poison bullets. You get one of those to the core and you're a goner." He sighed deeply, and the breath curled opaque into the cold air, swirling among the softly falling snow.

"When I return." Castiel repeated almost unemotionlessly, shocked. He wasn't going to order him to stay? "You may return to Earth and help your humans if you wish. Or, you may stay here and lend a hand. God knows we could use it. I am giving you a choice, Castiel." He looked up at him with those golden eyes again, and Cas could tell it wasn't a trick this time. Maybe he never gave these mini-tricksters enough credit.

"I am going to help close up hell for good. And if you'd like, I will continue to try and search for Gabriel." Calcifer nodded, and closing his eyes, leaned to rest his head with his very wounded brother's. Isiah would probably never fly again. Castiel shivered as he thought about how this was only the beginning. This war needed to end quickly, or there would be many others who went back into the Internal Grace. There were so few of them left, and with so many functions failing... he was aware of the two tiny stars he carried, but he knew only two could never be enough to fill the void that was quickly expanding.

"I will return, Calcifer. As soon as I can." Castiel suddenly felt very passionate about the issue. He could not abandon his side in their time of need, and he shivered again as he thought about what would happen if the other side won. He didn't even want to think about it. Maybe they'd even go to extreme measures and wipe the whole earth clean and start over from their standards. There was no way he could ever let that happen.

Calcifer looked at him intently, narrowing those lovely eyes slightly as he was thinking. "_A drop from where the three rivers collide, _that's one of the ingredients to close hell, isn't it?" He asked as he had read his mind. "I know what that is. The rivers leading out from heaven, purgatory and hell which flow to supply earth at the great waterfall. I will get you the last ingredient if it insures that you will be return swiftly."

Castiel's deep blue eyes lit up. What had seemed like an overwhelmingly complicated and impossible task was finally coming together. However, Castiel felt somewhat fearful as he thought about what closing hell might mean. There had to be a hidden consequence to the spell, such powerful magic was rarely so simple. Castiel agreed silently, sending thoughts of gratitude towards his brother that he had grown to admire so much more. Calcifer nodded, both an acknowledgement and a dismissal, and gripping Samandriel tightly to his chest, Castiel hurtled back to earth.


	6. Beautiful Nightmares

Dean had been too worried to do anything. His half-finished dinner still lay untouched on the tiny round dining table in the kitchen, ever since he'd heard those little words, 'he's gone.' He wouldn't leave the angels bed sides as he absentmindedly watched the news. He stayed particularly close to Castiel.

"_Last night, an out-of-the-blue meteor shower had left scientists baffled. No one had foreseen this coming, and we'll go to Carol for some insight. Carol?_

_"Yes, I'm here at the James K. Polk Astronomy Center, where we have been trying to get some answers. A few of the astronomers here accredit the beautiful star shower last night to a type of cosmic dust that is very hard to detect on some of their machines. If you didn't see it, you are missing out folks! It was definitely a sight to see, and a cosmic event that will probably not come around again in our lifetimes. For video footage and more, visit our website at..." _the television image suddenly started to skew and roll along the screen, stretching to reveal static underneath.

"Dumb thing," Dean said irritably, reaching to turn the small television off. He was too worried to do anything, as his stomach twisted itself into knots. If Cas was dead, he would _know, _right? There would be charred wings, he was sure he'd somehow feel _something... _there was no way he could have died. _I would have known_, was what Dean kept repeating over and over to himself.

Along with the television's weird behavior, the lights started to dimly flicker. He already found this peculiar, and the room began to grow gradually hotter, and Dean wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead. Had Sam cranked up the heater or something? But no, his brother was in a shallow sleep on one of the armchairs. Dean realized it was beginning to get brighter as well, but not bright like the sunlight. This light was pure white, and brighter than anything he'd ever seen before...

He pieced things together just in time. "Oh, shit!" He said under his breath as he whipped his arm out to shield his eyes tightly. The whole room glowed with an almost painfully hot bluster of air, and it seemed to linger on for just a tad bit too long. Castiel had fallen quickly back to Earth after Calcifer's dismissal, and even as a full-grown angel he felt shaken up by the scene he had just witnessed. Brother fighting brother, new weapons that could pierce an angel's grace and poison them with Leviathan blood, or have an angel go up in flames in a matter of seconds... he could only imagine what Samandriel must be feeling. Castiel had felt his baby brother's mind go cloudy with fear after seeing Isiah's half-blown off wing. He had clutched tightly to Cas's chest on their jetstream to earth, burying his tiny head closer into his neck for protection. The poor thing, he'd already seen so much, witnessed so much in his short life- Castiel wished he could do more for the infant, who was probably already traumatized. It had taken a little while for him to even latch into Alfie's body when Castiel placed him inside, and he was in his true form in the room for a bit longer than he found comfortable. He deserved a good rest. Finally, Castiel sunk into the comforts of his human body.

When Dean felt that the heat had gone, he tucked his face out from his arm to look out with hopeful, green eyes. Alfie, or Samandriel now, was fast asleep again, and so was Castiel. The lanky dark-haired young man, Calcifer's vessel, had disappeared, probably quickly reclaimed by Calcifer. Sam woke up with a start from his sleep, jumping up immediately to come to Dean's side. If they were back, if they both hadn't died...

He saw Cas's eyelids flutter as he struggled to wake up. Dean was there within a second, staring hopefully into his sickly face.

Cas moved his lips lightly, but no sound came out. It was clear he was having a hard time trying to even stay awake.

"Cas? You alright, bud?" Dean asked, still overjoyed that he had returned and was relatively all right.

He nodded slowly, finally opening his eyes wider this time. "It's gotten bad. Up there." He graveled, shutting his eyes again for a moment. Sam and Dean both knew that look-recalling something you've just seen, something horrible... Cas just couldn't shake that scene he'd seen in that field of snow, the murders, the bomb, the blown off wing that had only been put up to protect the others...

"You mean- you went back to heaven?" Dean jumped to ask. He always wondered what it was like up there, he wasn't sure why he always had an intense interest in it.

"Samandriel and I, both. He will be very, very tired from the journey. I think you underestimate how young he still is. I should be fine in a few days..." His blue eyes looked almost like they glassed over for a second as he thought of other things. Castiel wanted to tell them so much more than he had the energy to right now: how many angels had accidentally fallen to earth from the intensity of the split, and how the network had tried to compensate in its wounded state by blindly recalling all angels back to war-racked heaven. How Calcifer had told him he would supply the last ingredient they needed, that closing off hell could finally become a reality... instead he tried to tell them as much as he could with as little words as possible. God, he was _tired. _"This split was inevitable. And now...now..." There was an emotion neither of them had seen on his face before. His eyebrows came down and together, and his lips were pressed tightly together. His chest did a slight little hiccup-type thing. Was he really going to start sobbing?

He looked to Dean's face for comfort first, then Sam's, with large, watering blue eyes. They'd never seen him look so much like a little kid before. "And now...we must make our society whole again. And that means..." _We must...kill all of the angels from the other side. There can be no going back now. _He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, not wishing to continue. Just saying it aloud would make the horrors that much more real, something that they ultimately would really have to do. _What a horrible world little Samandriel was brought into. What he will have to do, what he has already had to go through..._

Cas sighed deeply. His whole body felt horrible, his muscles felt bunched up in every spot and they_ached_, his bones felt like they'd been bruised, his throat was dry and sandpapery. He had an aching headache that was just beginning to push onto the back of his eyes. He turned onto his side and lifted the down cover so that it covered his face, until just a tuft of black unkempt hair stuck up from the bed. "I hope you don't mind if I rest for a while," He muffledly croaked out from under his burrito of covers. Dean laughed and patted a lump of covers that resembled a shoulder lightly. "Just glad you're back," He said, sighing with relief.

* * *

Angels are not meant to sleep. It did have to do with not needing to restore the body overnight, yes, but there was so much more than that. Imagine all the crazy a dream could rack up with millions and millions of years of memories that have never been sifted through in a good night's sleep. It could be enough to drive an angel crazy. But this time Castiel's mind was kinder to him, as if the frayed network he was connected to understood enough to keep him from going mad.

He was dreaming that he was standing on a high, grassy cliff that overlooked the expanse of a dark blue and gray stormy sea. Foamy waves that seized and sprayed with watery roars surged underfoot. When he looked closer, the white crests of the waves weren't water at all, but the white wingtips of drowning angels. The scene materialized as more and more, innocent, beautiful winged creatures were dying, drowing, being thrown onto rocks and dragged back to sea with hungry, stormy claws. More and more kept appearing, an ocean of drowned, beautiful people... the inky blue waters were coming closer and closer to him as he cried for his loss, his tears dropping like waterfalls and causing the whole ocean to rear up and meet him at the jagged cliffs.

Castiel tried to run away as great, dark waves started to slap onto the cliff face, spraying him all over with bone chillingly cold mist. The mist swirled into pinpricks of cold, flurries of snowflakes were spinning around him, a wave surged up over his head and crashed into him, going through him and chilling his body and his grace right through. The wave swept through him as if he were a ghost, but it tore out his precious stars that he kept tucked deep in his chest for safekeeping. "No!" Castiel called out, so forcefully that he knew his voice had probably transcended the dream. Tears streamed down his face. "I need those, I have plans for them...!" The wave went farther and farther away, the baby stars twinkling helplessly as if they were calling out to him, pleading to be rescued. "No," Castiel breathed in defeat as he sank to his knees, as greedy-looking, waterlogged angel corpses grabbed with hungry, clutching hands at the pulsating, innocent lights.

"Castiel. Castiel, open your eyes." He heard a familiar voice, a brother's. He looked up and away from the horrible scene into Calcifer's face, he was now wearing his human body again, but Cas could easily see beyond the layer of flesh and bone to the fair-haired, golden-eyed creature within. The man slipped him a vial full of clear water gently, sliding the glass into his palm, where his hand lingered for just a second more. "Please come home." His brother pleaded him. Castiel ached to be with his family, to help them when they got hurt, to pick them up when they fell. Oh, Isiah. What has this war done to such a brave soul?

The dream ended prematurely, as Cas woke with a gasp. It took him a second to realize he was not in the motel any longer, but stretched out in the backseat of the car and wrapped in a thin blanket. Something was wrong here, it was only him and Dean in the car.

"Where...where is Saman.." He tried to speak up, but he was so tired. His restless sleep had not helped very much. Still, he felt the cold glass of the vial in his palm. He silently slid it next to the ivory claw in one of the inset pockets, deciding not to tell now that he had the final ingredient. He or Samandriel would not be strong enough for such a dangerous activity. Dean's eyes fell on him from the rearveiw mirror.

"Great, you're awake. That must mean it worked." Dean said happily, as he kept driving. Oh, no. This didn't sound good.

"What worked?" He asked skeptically, panic rising in his chest. His baby brother needed him, now more than anything.

"Samandriel was doing that same thing from before, stealing your grace again. He looked like he wasn't getting any better, and you were getting worse, and we thought that it was a bad idea for him to be stealing all your energy like that. So, he's at the motel and we're trying to get out of range." Dean said, emphasizing the word _steal_ too much, making it seem like Samandriel was trying to do something bad.

_"You don't understand."_ Castiel said suddenly, desperate. He was so little, he was so tiny,weak and frail, he _needed _that extra grace._ "_Turn the car around. Now." He ordered so fiercely and in such a deep voice that it almost scared Dean.

"What are you talking abou-" The city lights up ahead suddenly started to block into black, in succession, until every single building was pitch black. The car slowed to a stop. They both stared ahead with wide eyes for just a second. Dean didn't say anything as he quickly banked into a U-turn. His phone began to trill. "Dammit," He growled, and snapped it open.

"I...I think something just happened." Sam said on the other end, in a kind of panicky voice.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock," Dean said as he floored the pedal and the engine rumbled even more loudly than usual. It wasn't long before the car slid back into the motel lot. Castiel jumped out right away and sprinted to the room, who was followed by a guilty Dean.

He burst into the room and went right up to the sleeping teen, and curled him into his arms. Right away misty white grace tugged from his chest and began to seep into Samandriel. These two just couldn't seem to grasp the concept that Samandriel wasn't as he appeared. He looked like an older teenager, but in reality he Cas could only see him as the wide-eyed, innocent little two-year old he'd held hands with in heaven. Samandriel sighed and his body relaxed a little as he snuggled closer to his older brother's chest.

"Don't ever do something like that without my consent again." Castiel almost growled, protectively holding his little brother as a heavy flow of grace went between the two beings. Now looking up, he was able to survery the scene. All the outlets looked as if they had exploded, with bursts of black coloring the walls and carpets. In seeking out an energy source, he'd unintentionally pulled from the wall sockets and caused a massive blackout. There was a large crack leading from Samandriel's arm out along the walls and finally splintering up the window. Wallpaper had started curling off the walls in horizontal twists, as if there had been gusts of spinning air.

Suddenly, Cas felt an overwhelming burst of irritation and anger. "You don't understand! You need to see how bad the situations has become! Why can't you open your eyes?" He felt angry tears spring to his eyes. The two brothers were staring at him wide-eyed at his uncharacteristic outburst. They both felt pretty guilty, it had seemed like a good idea at the time, they didn't want to just sit by and watch Cas slowly be drained of life. After two days they had had enough as he looked like he was growing weaker and weaker. They only had to separate them for his own good. Cas read their thoughts and understood, they were only concerned for him. But he could not afford a slip up like this again.

"In heaven, I received the final ingredient." He said slowly, looking at both of their faces in succession. Dean tensed up, looking extremely surprised. "You mean to put the stopper in hell?" He asked, surprised it had been that easy. He came to realize that Cas had done everything single-handedly and extremely efficiently ever since they got the spell. It was obvious that he needed to turn his efforts to helping out in heaven. But there was no way this whole ordeal could be this easy. Something itched at him deep down, saying that this powerful spell _must_ have a catch- and a bad one at that.

As if he read his mind, Castiel spoke up. "I am afraid of the repercussions," Castiel said hauntedly, staring into Samandriel's face again. He had done some thinking, and he realized the true meaning of the spell. The hellhound's claw was a piece of something that represented how vile creatures of hell were. The skeleton key of a righteous man would be a piece that represented the worthwhile traits of humanity. The water from the three streams, the essence of the universe, the liquid that possessed all knowledge of any realm, would be able to differentiate the two, be able to recognize the clear lines between good and evil, earth and hell. It would then see the mistake it was that hell was open, polluting such a good world, and the three ingredients would in combination lock the evil away. But that one line, _the seal is the heart of the one who survives_... did that really mean that only one could survive? And what did it mean by heart, did it mean the tangible object, an emotion, or did the whole last line have an entirely different meaning?

Cas narrowed his eyes in thought. It was crunch time. Things were going by so fast, angels were dropping like flies, unable to turn their attention to an earth overridden with demons. Heaven was Castiel's priority, but they were so close, he could almost taste the demon-free world. Time was wearing thin for the already overworked angel. The gates _must _be sealed, soon, no matter the state he and Samandriel were in. Cas felt the glass vial and claw clink together in his pocket. They suddenly carried a very heavy weight.

* * *

**Hi! Sorry if this chapter was sort of short. I have big plans for the next chapter, which might be the longest chapter in this whole story, so bear with me! Next chapter is on the way soon, and is ****_definitely_**** not a filler. I already have this story planned out all the way to the end, but I might also incorporate suggestions! Please leave a review, I love reading them :)**


	7. The End (Is Really Only A New Beginning)

**Hello everyone! Just going to put a warning out- this chapter is quite sad (I cried when I wrote it!) So I just thought I'd give you a warning in case you were already sad. This is the chapter that will change the outcome of the story from this point forward, so enjoy! There will probably be only a few more chapters to come, as I already have the rest planned out. Thank you for your follows, favorites, and reviews! And even if you didn't do any of those three but still enjoyed reading this, thank you too! Well, happy reading. See you on the other side!**

* * *

Castiel looked up with suddenly alert eyes, despite having looked so tired for the past couple of days. For the past couple of minutes the four had sat there in silence, Sam and Dean feeling particularly uncomfortable as Cas said nothing, but still looked as tad bit angry as he sat with Samandriel, trying to get the baby angel's much needed energy back up. He looked up at them like there was some bad news, but he just didn't want to tell the brothers just yet. Dean wasn't going to sit through any of that bullshit.

"Okay, what is it. I know that look, Cas." He said, glaring down at the dark-haired man in a way that he knew he'd crack.

"The demons. It seems they've traced back the power outage, and Crowley is sending them after us, because he found out somehow what we are trying to do." He looked scared. For probably the first time, Sam and Dean saw true fear on his face. Crowley must have been sending quite a hoard to get a look like that from Cas's face.

"So, what do we do? Run away, hide, shake them off the trail?" Dean suggested quickly, wanting to get Cas talking again. He didn't care what it took, he wanted that look off of his friend's face. It was making him feel very unsettled.

"No." Castiel replied gruffly, suddenly looking determined. "It's time. We close the gates of Hell _today._"He stood up steadily, and pulled Samandriel up to stand next to him. "First, we must get to the right place. Are you fit to drive?" He turned to Dean to ask, and Dean scoffed. He'd pulled all-nighters before and been fine.

"I'm fine, Cas. Just tell me where we need to go."

...

Things were tense in the Impala. Everyone was worried and nervous, but not communicating to each other as the car sped down the road and a sticky-eyed Dean blinked tightly to try and get the sleep from his eyes, as they had been driving all night and now just the first pinkish-grey light of dawn was beginning to peek out from the horizon in the East.

"I'm sure we can find someone righteous's grave around here somewhere. Normally I'd say to hit up the nun's grave, but I guess it has to be a man's..." Dean talked aloud, but it sounded as if he was talking to himself, trying to formulate a plan.

"There will be no need to dig up graves, Dean. We have everything we need right here." Castiel said somewhat ominously.

"You have the water from the three rivers, and the claw, am I right? We still need the skeleton key of the righteous man." He retorted back to Castiel, not wanting to believe what he thought the answer was.

"The righteous man is you, Dean."

There was an uncomfortable beat of silence, as no one wanted to say anything and Dean didn't want to admit it to himself. "It's coming up soon." Castiel piped up in a quiet voice after a few uncomfortable minutes had stretched by. But it hadn't been more than a few turns in the road when the Impala had to break roughly to stop a road block of cars, lined up in the middle of the street. The people stared up with frighteningly blank expressions ; their eyes flashed pure black for a few seconds. Without warning, Castiel was carrying all of them and tugging them through time and space.

They all landed on their feet in the middle of a grassy field, lined in all directions with thick forest. The humans had to take a second to regain their composures, flying was never very pleasant for them. Samandriel, however, looked absolutely thrilled, looking like a little kid who had just gotten off their first roller coaster, and they would beg to go on again and again.

Meanwhile, Castiel was walking slowly around, searching. "It should be here," he said to himself under his breath as he stepped a few paces, closing his eyes and reaching out, lifting his head skyward like a cat's when they test the air. He finally stopped walking and kneeled down, and pushed about six inches of soil to uncover a large, ancient-looking bowl with strange symbols carved all along the circumference.

"This is one of the most powerful spell bowls. It will most certainly hold up." Castiel said, setting the large bowl down on the ground and reaching into his pockets to take out the two ingredients he had been keeping safe. He placed the shining white claw in the middle of the bowl, lining it up precisely with two of the symbols along the edge, furrowing his brow in concentration.

"We need to hurry. There is no telling when the demons will finally catch up to us," Castiel said, but it wasn't just about that. Would Dean be brave enough to sacrifice a tiny piece of himself for the spell to work? Dean looked almost offended that Castiel would think he would even hesitate, he had caught on the undertones in his sentence easily enough.

He strode up to the bowl with large steps, and whipped his knife out to hold in his hand, poised to slice off his pinky finger to add to the bowl. He took a deep breath, and gripped the knife blade tightly.

"Dean, wait-" Sam tried to call out, he couldn't just watch as his brother all too willingly mutilated his body.

It was too late to stop now. With a quick motion, the skeleton key tumbled into the bowl along with the pale white claw. Castiel quickly grabbed it and lined it up with shaking fingers, so that the two items formed a perfect X.

Dean clutched at his hand, not even making a sound as blood began to soak into his shirt where he held his hand. Castiel must have felt the demons close by, as he seemed to quicken his motions as he pulled the stopper on the vial of water and poured it with an expert hand over the two ingredients. The flesh from the pinky finger dissolved into nothingness, revealing the stark white skeleton underneath, forming a crossbones of two very different elements. Good and evil, yin and yang, heaven and hell. The two bones from two creatures began to shake rapidly, as the bones burst to ignite, and dark red flames turned the contents of the bowl into black dust within a matter of seconds.

The dust seemed to float up on its own accord, somehow doubling, tripling, quadrupling in amount. It gathered a few feet above their heads as the dust seemed to collect and push on the very seam of space, when a tear was heard and a huge black hole appeared in the sky, the dust was quickly sucked through as the sky was punctured.

Then, a sound like a swarm of billions of bees filled the air, and the four looked to the skies with wonder as black clouds started rushing toward them, the demons who had been close by had been easily sucked from their bodies and were hurtling towards the black hole. That wasn't all - an evil-looking black cloud tinged the horizon, speeding toward the hole faster than anything they'd ever seen before. The awful buzzing in the air grew until it was almost deafening. They all hit the ground, trying to stay flat and cover their faces, as the swarms of demons were being whirlpooled down the hole as it stretched bigger and bigger, sucking all that evil out and away.

It seemed to last forever as the four kept glued to the ground, covering their eyes and faces, when finally the terrible sound began to fade rapidly. They raised their faces, looking in wonder to the bright blue sky that had appeared after a covering of pure black. The last few clouds of demons slipped into the pulsating hole, which then shut off with a large whump as space closed over it once again. There was complete silence as the four stood up at stared, unbelieving, at the empty space where everything had disappeared.

That lasted for about two seconds. Then came the greatest consequence that they had niavely believed they had avoided.

The whole system backfired, as if the thing had imploded, had a tiny break, and then exploded with twice as much force. Cas reached out and found the person closest to him-Dean-and he whipped his wings around to try and protect the fragile human. There was a burst if fiery air and a massive blast of shock that shook the earth and sent everyone tumbling away, before a large wall of fire swallowed them whole.

...

Closing the gates of hell was rocking the world over. It was such a bright white star burst that the explosion could be seen from space, looking like just a little fizzle and pop to the peacefully floating satellites. The seismographs in a nearby earthquake monitoring center were going crazy. Beeps were firing, needles were bouncing, machines that drew lines were spiking and falling sharply. "Hey, I think we got something!" One of the men called as he actually straightened up for the exciting parts of his job.

"_Breaking News, folks! A massive what is thought to be an explosion came from upstate Kansas just a few minutes ago, rocking nearby seismographs. Could this be a possible terror attack? The US military is dispatching a garrison as we speak to see if this explosion could possibly be the result of a terrorist attack..."_

...

The ground was all one dark black color, and trees had become charcoal logs radiating out from the explosion, which grew to be about ten miles in radius. Everything was smouldering. Cas wasn't sure how much time had passed that he stayed curled up with his eyes closed, trying to process what had just happened. Without even opening his eyes, he reached out with his mind to try and find any living souls.

Sam and Alfie were dead. They had both been killed on impact, and Samandriel had been shot back to heaven. Now, what was left of them was barely anything but bones.

He still felt one little soul, struggling to hold on, right there in his arms.

"Dean," he said softly, unfurling his wings slowly from the human to observe what had happened to his dear friend.

Castiel was almost extremely untouched, not even a hair on his head had been singed off. Why did the spell choose _him _as the one to protect from the blast? Why did he have to be the sole survivor, weren't the other three so much more deserving? Even in trying to wrap his wings around Dean, the delicate human had still suffered enough damage. Humans were just so fragile, so beautiful but so fragile... his body was dying as he looked to have been burnt alive. Bones had shattered, his lung had been punctured by a broken rib, shock had ripped up his insides... surprisingly his face was relatively untouched, he had shielded it with his arms. But when Cas looked into his eyes, they were no longer green, clear and sparkling, they were dull and clouded. He had been blinded. The scene was almost too pitiful for Castiel to bear.

"Cas?" Dean rasped out hoarsely, darting his eyes around and trying to reach for anything that gave him some bearings. Castiel felt tears stream down his cheeks, and he made no effort to wipe them away. "I'm right here. I'll stay right here," he said, taking Dean's limp hand gently and holding it. His soul was already beginning to slip away, and there was nothing Castiel could do now.

"I can't help this time, Dean. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." The angel sobbed, nudging forward and pulling the broken Dean to curl across his lap.

"I know. I know, it's okay." Dean hoarsely whispered, trying to look into Cas's face with his blinded eyes as he stroked Cas's hand with a weak finger. Cas choked back a sob again.

"Cas, I'm scared." Dean whispered, he was barely audible. Castiel now pulled him closer onto his lap and into his chest, as he held Dean's limp head with one hand. Cas let go of holding Dean's hand and ran his fingers lightly through that dirty blonde hair, and floated his hand over his forehead, and stroked Dean's dirty cheek with his thumb slowly in a subtle, yet extremely passionate gesture. Dean's soul was slipping away quickly, like sand in an hourglass. Dean's lips lifted just the tiniest bit when he felt the gesture. Cas felt a wrentch in his chest; that was just like Dean, to smile at something nice even as he faced death.

Cas didn't think but just did: Cas leaned down to the dying solider on his lap and silently pressed his lips to his. It wasn't a peck, but it wasn't too drawn out either. It was sweet. And it was just enough to try and get across that Castiel had really loved him all along. His soul was almost gone- he had only seconds left. Dean brought shaking fingers up to his lips, touching them lightly, a longing look on his face, not knowing if what had happened was real. He looked confused, as his eyebrows drew together. He tried to look up again with those pitifully clouded eyes, but he was a bit off the mark as he spoke over Cas's shoulder.

"Why did you wait so long?" He whispered, barely audible, as tears started to stream down his face. There were mere miliseconds left.

"Dean, I lov-" Cas tried to say, but it was too late. Dean's face fell, and the light faded from his eyes. His head suddenly fell into a dead weight in Castiel's palm. Cas put the body down gently, ever so gently. Then, he just stayed there, kneeling on his knees next to the wrecked body, as he felt sobs wrack his body and he looked up to heaven as if on instinct, his deep blue eyes reflecting the light of the sky as tears endlessly dropped each time he batted those lovely eyelids. He didn't want to believe it had happened. He knew that in befriending mortals, one day this would come. They had been putting it off since the day he had met them. Still, he didn't want to believe it was real. Anticipating it hadn't made it any easier. It _hurt. _

The final seal was the heart of the one who survives. He looked wearily with tear-stained, deep blue eyes to where the pit had opened and swallowed all the demons. There seemed to be a little heart-shaped hole there, just barely visible with a pulsating faint glow of golden light, the final piece of the puzzle that would finally keep hell shut inside forever.

Cas was suddenly aware that another angel had arrived at the scene, and there was no mistaking his powerful and immediately recognizable aura. He looked up, and felt the two Winchester bodies disappear, being magicked away by the arriving brother.

"Gabriel," He merely stated, he had no energy or willpower to be accommodating. His brother stood about ten feet away, wearing a broken-in jacket and jeans. He tucked his hands into his jacket pockets and looked at Castiel with an uncharacteristically sad look on his face.

"What a shame. I liked those two." But there was not even a hint of a jeer in his voice. Cas looked away from his brother's face and back to the heart-shaped keyhole carved in the air. He didn't say anything for a while, there was nothing to say.

_Why did you wait so long. _That was what Dean's last words were. He wasn't taken aback, disgusted or embarrassed by the kiss. He had wondered why it had taken Castiel so long to finally do something. Maybe...just maybe, things could have been different for them, if only he'd known... he squeezed his eyes together and two fat tears rolled down his face.

"I'll join the war. I should have a long time ago. It shouldn't have taken a tragedy like this for me to realize what humans are really worth." Gabriel said slowly, kindly.

Cas still said nothing, and when he opened his eyes he only looked past his brother with tired eyes.

"I know I haven't been the best big brother to you. But I'm willing to try and start. I have something for you." Gabriel vanished, and Castiel quickly followed suit.

"You've been through enough, kiddo. So I... this is for you." Gabriel said, as the two men stood together on a grassy knoll next to a perfectly square, freshly dug grave.

Cas looked in to see: the open square in the ground lay in front of him, and there were Sam and Dean, separated by a body's length. Gabriel had healed the bodies up, so instead of being mangled, dirty and burned alive, or basically just a pile of blackened bones, his dear friends looked as if they were merely sleeping in the soil. The Impala was parked right in back of the grave as if it were a headstone. There was a small, shiny black plaque like a tile on the ground that simply read: "For those who carried the world on their shoulders."

Cas looked up with his eyes brimming with tears. "Will you deliver my heart?" He spoke up for the first time, and you could tell from his voice alone he was completely broken. "And is it okay... is it okay if I sleep for just a while?"

Gabriel put his arm around his brother's shaking shoulders and tilted his head so just the sides of their foreheads touched. They stood there in silence, grieving together for a few minutes, Gabriel keeping that sheltering arm over his baby brother.

Cas looked down into the grave and felt his heart squeeze. He knew this day was inevitable, but it still felt like a horrible nightmare as he stood looking in at his friends, only their bodies remaining here on earth, ready to return into the soil.

He wished for a second that he had never come to earth, but then immediately took it back. He'd rather have all of it, all the pain and suffering, everything it cost him, than to never have met these two brothers. Both had shown him immeasurable friendship. But one had lead him to love. And if he could, he would never, ever want to go back and change that.

After a while, Gabriel tightened his one-armed hug around Cas's neck and gave him a little kiss on the side if his forehead.

"Sleep tight, baby brother. I'll be here when you wake up." Castiel let tears fall from under his eyelids, while he swayed on his feet, on solid earth for the last time. When he opened them, he had transported to be lying in between the brothers. Not even thinking twice, he laced his fingers in both if their limp hands. He felt a painful tug as his heart was literally wrenched from his chest, being magicked away by Gabriel who was going to put in that final piece, finally sealing up all of hell.

Castiel felt the crushing pressure as suddenly thousands of pounds of soil appeared over him, crushing and suffocating his body. His grace rose and climbed from his human vessel like white-hot lava as he felt himself push up through the many feet of soil. He wanted to rest here on earth for just a little while, as his grace began to create a beautiful, enormous tree from the ground. His grace spread through the soil quickly, eventually forming deep roots, as the parts that reached the air solidified into a sturdy tree trunk, and split and spread out to form branches reaching out to the sun. The greenest leaves unfurled delicately, soaking in their first sun rays. Finally, the tree settled and growing halted. The grave had the appearance of being there for years; the angel's grace had created a magnificent tree that already looked at least half a century old.

There was only one peculiar thing: the tiny diagonal stars in his grace, the tiny hopes for new life, had vanished from his chest without a trace.

* * *

Dean opened his eyes slowly. He was dead, he knew that much. It had happened to him so many times that he knew the feeling already. He didn't remember much about his last few minutes on earth, it was sort of in a haze. The funny thing was he didn't mind that he was dead. He'd just given his life to save earth from all demons, ever. If that wasn't going out as a hero he didn't know what was. He never expected to live to be an old man, it was just part of the hunter's life.

He felt someone clinging to his side, peacefully asleep, as he felt warm breaths rhythmically tickle his chest. It must be one of his memories in heaven, and this little boy must be one of his versions of Sam. When he looked down he saw a tiny head of dark brown hair, but it was all wrong. This couldn't be Sam, it felt different. Dean readjusted to look at the little kid clinging to him. He had dark brown hair, a string of freckles over the bridge of his nose, _white wings_? The little boy opened his eyes, a pair of stunning grey stones.

"Heya, Andy." Dean said serenely, somehow knowing that he was looking at the little angel they'd been taking care of. He could just feel that this had to be him.

"We did it, Dean." The small child responded, but for some reason the way he spoke sounded so beautiful and musical. He blinked those enormous gray eyes and crawled up to be closer to Dean's chest. Dean smiled and hugged him, just lying there flat on his back. It was over, everything was over, and he could just lie here forever if he wanted to. It was the most peaceful he'd been in years.

Then, a thought occurred to him. How did he know that this was Samandriel? In fact, how was he even able to see Samandriel's true form? And if this was his heaven, where was Sam? He looked around, and something didn't feel right as he didn't even recognize the room he was in. It was a pleasant, little living room-turned-bedroom with beds everywhere where couches usually were supposed to be. Light yellow and white wallpaper covered the walls and soft sunlight was making its way through the windows drawn with thin white curtains. When he tried to get up to look around, he suddenly felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest, pinning him to the spot. Something was not right.

"Oh, good! You're up," He heard someone say in a voice that was vaguely familiar. Dean turned his head to look, unable to move his body at all. He was a tall, sandy-blonde haired teenager with a meek smile on his face as he sauntered up shyly to his older brother.

"Adam?" Dean asked, astonished. He hadn't seen the kid in years, but he looked the exact same as the last time he saw him, when he'd been pulled into the pit. Adam smiled at him, looking overall grateful. Of course, anything would have seemed great after hundreds of years in the cage.

"What am I doing here? If I'm dead, why am I not in my own heaven?" Dean immediately asked.

"It's because you're in mine. Ever since I was brought back up here from the cage, the pro-apocalypse angels avoided me like the plague. They weren't used to seeing so much of hell in heaven. But that has its advantages. I've been trying to help out as much as I can, but I've got big shoes to fill if you know what I mean." He said with a small smile. "So, you're here for your own protection." He continued, coming up to the side of his bed and taking a seat. He reached out and stroked Samandriel's wings, who cooed happily. Adam somehow seemed to have a way with angels.

"I don't get it. I thought it was all over for me, I'm dead, it should be over." He paused and looked at his little half-brother angrily. "Where's Sam." It wasn't a question, but it was a demand.

"It's best...It's best if you two were separated right now." Adam replied nervously, shifting his light blue eyes to avoid his brother's stern gaze. Like before in recognizing Samandriel, Dean somehow knew that Sam was in another room close by. He could just _feel _it.

There was suddenly a loud knock at the door. Adam looked concerned and got up from his seat and made his way out of the bedroom. "Stay here, Dean. I mean it." He said, glancing back at his eldest brother suspiciously. Dean trailed him with his eyes as he crossed the room and went to answer the front door down the hallway. Three angels stood in the doorway, the two on the sides supporting a drooping young woman in the middle.

"Lev poisoning in her lower arm. She should be okay with some medicine, but if not she might need to have it carved." One of the men carrying her explained in a rushed tone, as Adam reached out to replace the angel she was leaning heavily on. "I'll return her spick and span," He said with a happy voice, glad that he could help out. He went to help the young woman gently into his house, speaking in low, kind tones to her. Dean smiled a small smile, _that's my brother_. But then he remembered what he had wanted to do in the first place when he had a few minutes away from Adam.

Find Sam.

That thought was the only thing powerful enough to give him the strength to lift his chest, which felt like it weighed a million pounds. It hadn't been like this the last time he had died, had it?

He tried again to get up, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't lift himself but a few inches off the bed he lie on. He tried a few more times before resting again, huffing out breaths. Why was this happening?

"Samandriel, can you go find Sammy?" He asked the little angel, who nodded and slid off of him as he went pitter-pattering down the hall. Adam came back into the room slowly, holding up the wounded angel with one arm as he helped her walk. He came back into Dean's room and set her on one of the other beds in the room. He now realized what this was; a makeshift field hospital setup.

"Show me," Adam called to her softly, taking the arm that she had tucked close to her body. Dean finally saw what Cas had told him before about the new weapons. There was a deep, tarry hole in her forearm close to her wrist, and dark black polluted the veins stretching out from that point. Adam had taken his tool kit off of the close by shelf and already had it in his lap, holding a few tools in his teeth as he dug around quickly for more.

He said nothing as he looked up with determined, light blue eyes and gently placed a wooden bit into the young woman's mouth. He reached into the ping-pong ball sized pit with a pair of tweezers to bring out the bullet, and the angel bit hard into the wood and tried not to make much noise. It looked _gross: _the bullet pulled away with a long stand still sticking to it, which Adam broke off with a swift flick of the wrist. He took the bullet (was it really _writhing _like that, or was it just Dean's imagination?) and strapped it tight into a tiny metal box he'd taken from his tool box.

Dean had to look away as Adam took out all sorts of other tools to start cleaning the wound- for some reason that sticky, tar-like substance was making him feel sick to his stomach. It looked like poison, and he shuddered every time he saw those black veins, knowing that the dark poison was pumping through the angel's body right in that instant. He found these thoughts peculiar as well: since when had he been so squeamish?

"Adam," Dean called out to his brother, when he sneaked a peak and saw that Adam was finally wrapping up the angel's arm with white cloth.

"Yes?" Adam called back to him patiently, as he tied off the cloth and gave the woman's arm a tiny, hopeful pat.

"Why...why am I so heavy?" Dean asked, again trying and failing to even lift his chest just a few inches.

"You..." Adam started, and went to stare back at the she-angel. Dean could tell he was wanting to straight up lie to him, that he was thinking very strongly about it. "Let's just say things are a little different this time around."

Dean felt annoyed. That was all he was going to tell him? "C'mon, Adam. Please tell me. I'm dead anyway, it's not like I have anything to lose!"

Adam looked at him right in the eye as he went to get rid of the tiny metal box that held the living Leviathan bullet inside, leaving to get rid of it. "Stop saying you're dead, Dean. I don't think you are. Not really, anyway."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He called out, frustrated, to his little brother, who was just slipping out of the bedroom. He sighed and sunk back into the bed. Godammit, he wanted to move already. He wanted to get up and stretch his legs, he wanted to run and jump and walk. He wanted to see Sammy again.

"Do _you _have any idea what's going on?" Dean asked the angel who he was now sharing a room with, and there would undoubtedly be more people in the room judging by the other beds. She was quite pretty- with long, straight blonde hair, chocolate brown eyes and a kind-looking face. Then, like when Castiel had given him his sight for just an hour back when they'd traded the tablet off to Crowley, he was able to look past the body she was wearing into the depths. She had stars unmoving in her white nebula of grace too, he counted them. Seven. He looked at what she really looked like. She had curly, ringlet brown hair and amethyst eyes.

"You want to know why you can't get up?" She asked in a kind voice, it was the same as when Samandriel had talked to him before, musical, pretty, uplifting. He would probably say that if language could sound like lace, this would be it. He was almost dumbfounded at how beautiful it sounded.

"Uh, yeah." He replied lamely, suddenly feeling like his voice was so plain and obniouxious-sounding. She looked at him with her two layers of eyes, brown and amethyst at the same time, and answered.

"It appears as if you have a heavy soul. You must not be used to so much of it." She answered him, her words almost giving him goosebumps like when music suddenly strikes that one, perfect-sounding note.

"What do you mean too much of 'it'? What exactly is that?" He asked quickly, wanting to get as many answers as possible before Adam came back and worked to try and keep him in the dark.

"Grace. You are only used to the small amount that humans usually have, the amount that you call 'soul.' Now, it seems like you-"

"Leilias. I think that's enough." Adam came back into the room, cutting her off with a slightly loud voice, sounding almost panicked. Dean threw his hands up in desperation. He was suddenly filled with anger.

"I deserve to know what is going on, Adam! You owe me that much!" Dean yelled, and for some reason he finally had the strength to sit up on his bed. He swayed dangerously, but held on. He didn't want to fall and be pinned down on his back again.

"I...I'll tell you once you lie back down, okay?" Adam said, sounding scared. He raised his hands up in an innocent gesture. "Please, Dean. I don't want to keep things from you anymore than you want to hear them, but I need to keep my word-"

Dean pushed up onto his legs with all the physical and mental strength he could muster, and Adam's blue eyes grew wide as he tried to go up to the standing Dean and put him back on the bed, but he found he couldn't move. Then, he looked down to see what was restraining him. Leilias had grabbed his wrist and was holding it tightly with her good arm, and Adam was powerless even against a wounded angel. She winked at Dean and drew Adam closer. Dean, somehow finding it was getting easier and easier now that he had managed to stand up, made for the door.

"He's going to find out sooner or later. You can't frustrate him like that anymore." She said kindly to Adam. "Let go." Adam said, fear still dancing behind his blue irises. Lelias let go gently, and give him a look as if to tell him to do the right thing. Adam quickly gave her a curt nod and sprinted out towards the door.

"Dean, stop!" He called out loudly, darting out of the bedroom door and trying to follow him down the hall. Dean turned his head to see Adam in pursuit, and right away the door that separated the two of them, the entrance to the hall from the living room slammed with such force that it shook the walls. Adam could be heard pounding on the other side of the door.

"Dean, please! I'm only doing what Castiel told me to do! Please come back," He said from behind the door, sounding heartbroken. Dean perked up just a little at the mention of Castiel's name, but kept going. He needed to find Sam, everything else would have to come second.

He finally came up to the door that he could tell contained his brother. "Sam? Sammy?" He called out as he forced open the doorknob. He looked inside the small, ocean-themed guest bedroom, and saw Andy and Sam lying together on one of the beds. Dean strode up quickly, took Sam's outstretched hand (he'd had a hard time getting up as well) and lifted him so he was standing right in front of him.

"Dean," Sam breathed out, smiling so wide he looked almost goofy. He only needed to say that one word to let him know everything. They had done it together, saved so many people, died together for an extremely worthy cause- what else was there to ask for?

They immedietely hugged and clung to each other tightly, not needing to say anything to each other as everything they could have said was already understood.

When Dean opened his eyes, still in his brother's embrace, he saw something that made his heart stop and his body go ridgid.

"What is it?" Sam asked fearfully as Dean pulled away. "Dean, what?" He looked confused and hurt.

"You... it looks like...no way, there's just no way." He muttered to himself, closing up and holding his arms to himself. "It's just not possible."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked in a panicked voice. What had been so extreme to cause Dean to act like this?

Dean pointed to the thing he had seen. A pair of small, shiny, earthy brown wings that were sprouting from Sam's back.

Sam twirled to try and see- once he did he stopped right in his tracks, frozen in place. He looked up at his brother with wide eyes.

"Dean." He said, not even needing to point for Dean to understand. Samandriel had come up to Dean's side and was clinging to his leg.

"Yours are pretty," the little angel smiled, reaching up and Dean went entirely stiff as he felt a tickling sensation coming from outside of his normal range of body parts. Samandriel had stroked the bottoms of the feathers from Dean's small, costume-sized wings. They were a deep butterscotch color that had sheens of gold on the feathers.

Adam finally bust in. Panting, he saw the brother's shocked expressions and wiped his forehead. "I guess I have some explaining to do, huh?" He said wearily, feeling guilty that he hadn't been able to keep his promise to Castiel for very long.

...

Adam had gathered them in the kitchen, where Sam and Dean sat on barstools, looking impatient, as Leilias and two other angels in recovery, there to heal in Adam's protective sphere, sat sipping hot tea.

Adam was working hard at the sink to scrub away and clean the tools he used to help the injured angel that had just come in. He cleaned as he began to talk to his older half-brothers, still looking guilty that they'd found out so quickly.

"Cas came to me just a little while after I was brought back to heaven. It was then that he told me his plan. I'd already started helping angels, and I've learned so much about them since. So when he told me about his quotas, I agreed to help. His wishes were for you two to get accomidated first before I told you what had happened. Guess I blew that one, though." He explained in his soft, doctor's bedside-table like tone. Dammit, angel-protector, field nurse, good guy Adam 2.0 was _very_ difficult to stay mad at.

"Do you mean that those little stars-" Sam started, and was quickly interrupted by Adam.

"Yes. They were meant for you two. That was his plan for a long time, ever since the Internal Grace stopped working."

"But, first of all _how_? And second of all, _why_?" Dean asked in a soft voice. He still couldn't get over his shock. He still couldn't even confess it to himself, there was just no way any of this could be happening.

"I'm not sure if he explained to you how the 'stars' work. They aren't related to genetics at all, but just tiny, highly condensed balls of grace. Now, the human soul is also made up of grace, but it's such a tiny amount that is nowhere near that of an angel's. Still, we share just that one similarity with the angels. You two are aware how demons are created, right? From human souls, originally. So why can't humans become angels as well? All that happened was he added his quotas to your graces -souls- ,and they built into one another until the human soul beame thicker and stronger, turning it into an angel's. As for why-" He paused and gritted his teeth as he put some extra elbow grease into cleaning one of his stubborn instruments.

"I'm not sure why. It was probably easier considering you two are already Saints. Human Saints sometimes choose to become angels. Also, he loves both of you. He's looking out for you two as well as heaven; you two might be very useful in this war." he finally finished, looking up into their disbelieving faces.

"Where is Cas now?" Sam asked, putting his head down to rest on his large arms that were folded up under him. He felt much too overwhelmed at what had become of him and his brother.

"He's, hmm, taking a short break. Angels can't sleep, and doing things like what he's doing are the only ways they can rest. He'll be back soon enough. But for now, we need to get you two ready. Gabriel's just joined the war. Because of both of you, in fact. And once he's really fired up, this war is going to pick up really quick and burn itself out. And you are both going to help."

Sam and Dean turned their faces to look at each other. Bright green eyes met the dark blue, and they understood. They would get through this. Even in death, they never stopped having to be heroes. Dean's newfound dark gold wings fluttered softly, unconsciously, as he nodded curtly to his little brother. This was their new reality, whether they chose it or not. They'd saved humanity. Now, it was time to turn their attention to their newly acquired heavenly family. What were they to expect? A Winchester's job was never finished. Not really.


	8. The Chrysalis

**Hello everyone! If you haven't guessed these next chapters will be all about the civil war in heaven. I would love to hear suggestions about what you'd like to see from the Angel!chesters, because right now I don't have much to fill between here and the end and I'd like to have this story be a good length before it's finished. Don't be shy to PM me or leave a review! I'd love to hear from you. Hope you like this chapter! More to come~**

* * *

The day had started off like any typical day for Kevin. Up at six o' clock in the morning, sharp. Get up, have breakfast (while he was at it solve the sudoku and crossword puzzle in a matter of minutes), then plug in the computer and research, and maybe later go over his tablet notes and try to see if he had time to throw together a few more weapons, just in case the demons came back.

He was working tirelessly until around 8 o' clock. Then, out of nowhere came the strangest sensation. Absolute, pure peace. it wrapped around Kevin like a warm blanket, melting away the permanent tensions in his shoulders, releasing the pent up air in his lungs in a loud sigh.

Kevin put down the book and the ingredients he was holding. For a kid who was made up of 99% motivation, he suddenly felt not one grain of the drive to do anything. He stared at the objects on the table, which seemed so small and insignificant. Then a thought occured to Kevin. _I'd like a bath._

The advanced placement Seminar nerd hadn't taken a bath since he was a baby. It was always a million miles a minute for the ambitious kid. After his bath, he climbed out and _still_ felt that overwhelming blanket of peace. _I'd like to watch some television._ Yet another extremely unchararistic thought for Kevin. He sat in his warm towel and switched on the TV set. Who needs clothes anyway?

"..._ it has been confirmed that at around 8 am this morning, the bomb that went off-_" Kevin's ears pricked up when he heard the news announcer speak; there had been a bomb?

"._.earlier this morning in upstate Kansas. A few of US government's troops rushed to the scene, but reported no cause for alarm. This explosion was apparently the suicide of missing person Alfred "Alfie" Christianson, who had gone missing after being fired from his job a few weeks ago. Dental records were matched and confirmed, and his remains are being collected by immediate family for a later funeral service. Why he chose to go out with a bang, we may never know._" When a picture of Alfie appeared on screen, Kevin gasped aloud.

He knew that face! That was the vessel of the angel Samandriel! But if only _his_ body was found, what about Sam and Dean, or Castiel? He couldn't have done it alone, could he? "MOM!" Kevin yelled back into the depths of the house, where his mom was most definitely up and probably doing her disciplined morning tai chi and yoga routine.

He went to look back at the television. Now all it was talking about was how the government had responded to the blast and how something of that scale might have possibly been attained. It was going in one ear and out the other.

Kevin's mother came out of the hallway, looking much less rosy-cheeked than usual. The strange, overwhelming peace must have affected her too. "I think they did it. I think they really did it this time. No more demons," he said, excitement rising in his voice as he finally realized what that could mean for him. No more whack job life, he could go to college, graduate, and lead a normal life with a wife and kids...

Kevin whipped out his phone to try and call the brothers and ask about how they'd done it, where they were now, this was a cause for celebration. And that was saying something for Kevin, who the last party he'd gone to was his neighbor Johnny's block party in sixth grade.

Dean's phone rang and rang, and no one picked up. Little did Kevin know, the phone was muffedly buzzing and trilling in the glovebox in the Impala, parked in the dappled shade of an oak tree, while Dean lay, unable to answer, six feet under the ringing cell phone.

"Hm. He's probably just pulling a Sam on me. Well, I wouldn't want to talk to me either at a time like this." Kevin said aloud dejectedly. "I guess I'll just call him back later."

...

Around a week later, Kevin was roughly woken up from a deep sleep. He'd been exhausted, working to try and reapply to colleges, get letters of recommendation, and write essays all while trying to help his mom move back into their old house.

Kevin glanced at the clock. Godammit, what did someone want from him at 2 am?

"Hello, Kevin the Prophet. Bad time?" There came a snarky voice from the darkness, close to the foot of his bed. Kevin whipped around to turn on his bedside lamp and simultaneously threw the bowl of holy water that he still kept on his bedside table at the intruder. The curly dark-haired man simply stared with a 'really?' look on his face as he trailed one hand down his soaking face.

"I'm not a demon. If you haven't guessed by now, they've all been stopped up where they belong." The man gave his head a little shake, and cold water droplets flung from his curls.

"Then who are you?" Kevin asked, reaching for under his pillow where he kept a silver blade and small squirt gun of borax.

"My name is Calcifer, Angel of the Lord, Commanding General of the Recruitement Office for the pro-human army. So I suggest you come with me... if you want to live." He lowered his voice for his last line, and his eyes twinkled maliciously in the dim light.

"I, but, it-" Kevin stuttered, clambering out of bed to stand there shivering in a pair of red plaid boxers and too-small socks with holes in the toes.

"God, kid. I was only kidding." Calcifer cracked a smile. Man, this guy was wierd compared to the stony, very literal Castiel.

"But what happened to Sam and Dean? Or Castiel? Do you know? I've been trying to get in touch with them for weeks, but I don't think they wanted to be bothered, and now I think they've turned their phones off..." Kevin suddenly had to look away. What if what this angel had to say was bad news? They should have called him back by now, even if it was only for a quick chat. He didn't want bad news, especially after he was finally getting his life back on track.

"You'll find out from where we're going. Now hurry up, I've got places to be, people to kill, the usual." Kevin scrambled to hop into a pair of sweatpants and was pulling on a college sweatshirt when he already felt himself hurtling through the air. His feet finally steaded on grassy ground, his sweatshirt halfway on.

"A little warning next time?" Kevin grumbled, slipping on the hoodie. "What do you need me for, anyway? And at this hour?"

His head popped out from the off-red sweatshirt and he looked around with wide eyes. They were standing underneath a tree, which was softly filtering just a bit of the pale blue moonlight. Something black and shiny glinted in the moonlight: a car. _No, not just_ a_ car,_ Kevin thought as he squinted his eyes to see in the near pitch blackness. Then he saw the black granite square in the ground.

Kevin was not dumb in the slightest. In fact, it had been his ability to solve puzzles that landed him in the Seminar program in the first place, landing in the 99.8 percentile. So, piecing these few factors together was simple enough. He brought his hands up to cover his mouth, not believing what he knew had to be true.

"They didn't." He said monotonously, muffled through his sleeve-covered hands. He felt that sharp rush in his nose and felt tears prick behind his eyes.

"They did. Did you really think closing up hell wouldn't have its sacrifices?" Calcifer said slowly, seeing how much this upset Kevin. Still, he needed him.

"Why did you bring me here? Why not just tell me about it?" Kevin asked quietly, still not taking his hands from his mouth.

"See this tree? This is what Castiel is resting in right now. And I need you to wake him up and get him back to heaven. Recruitment Office, remember?" Calcifer replied, looking up and squinting into the tree's branches.

"I could have called him back right away. But, I thought, ah, he deserves it. So I gave him ten days to rest." If Kevin wasn't mistaken, Calcifer almost looked like he had a look of admiration on his face. Kevin could tell just by the way he acted that this probably wasn't a very easy thing to win over from him.

"So, how do I do it?" Kevin asked as he stood, shivering slightly and thrusting his bare hands deep into his pockets as a brisk breeze felt like it blew through him.

"I dunno. You're the prophet," Calcifer replied somewhat annoyingly. Kevin gave him a glare. He kind of missed the authoritative, literal Castiel now. "Try touching it."

Kevin reluctantly pulled his ice-cold hand from his pocket and laid it on the rough, splitting grooves on the trees trunk. Nothing happened. _Um, I'm not really sure if I'm doing this right, but... _Kevin tried sending his thoughts into the tree, and he felt absolutely ridiculous. There was no way if someone had told him a year ago that he'd be woken up in the middle of night by an angel and whisked off to talk to a tree would be believe it. But, here he was.

He looked back to Calcifer, who gave him a little sideways smile and a shrug. Kevin rolled his eyes and then closed them. _Castiel, if you can hear me, heaven needs you. Sam and Dean are dead, and your brother Calcifer wants to have you return. _At first, it seemed like nothing had happened again. Then, he suddenly felt a little hot under the collar as a bright white light started to shine from the deepest grooves in the tree's trunk. Kevin was too astonished to do anything, so it was good that Calcifer stepped in immediately, rushing to cover Kevin's eyes with two big, white palms and curving his wings inward to make sure the human's eyes were extra shielded.

He looked to see what was happening: the tree was now a pure white, light reaching down through and shining from every tiny branch and leaf. The light began to suck into the trunk, where it shot like a giant white laser beam directly up to the sky. Calcifer looked up at the beam and smiled. It was going to be great to have his brother back. He finally took his hands off of Kevin's eyes and the teenager blinked up at him with wide, shiny black eyes.

"Thanks for that, Kev. See ya around?" Calcifer said with a cocky little smile, and vanished instantly.

God dammit.

Kevin didn't even know where he was, much less how to get home from here. He had absolutely no money or identification. Ah, fuck. Well, he might as well pay his respects while he was here. He slinked quietly to the pitch black under the tree, and he found the hood to the Impala and sat down on it lightly, and looked through the leaves to the tiny gaps were he could see the sky. _Thank you. _He thought peacefully toward Sam and Dean, wherever they were now. Thanks to them, the world was so much more safe. Thanks to them, he could finally go back to the normal life he'd always wanted.

"You should have some more faith is us angels." Calcifer said quietly as Kevin jumped to find him sitting just next to him on the hood of the car. "You should have seen your face when you thought I'd abandoned you out here, though. Classic." Calcifer said serenely, doing the same thing Kevin had done and glancing skyward. "You're weird." Kevin said quietly, shivering in the cold night air. "I try." A small beam of moonlight streamed through and illuminated one of his pale blue eyes. Kevin could have sworn he'd seen just a tiny flash of a beautiful amber-gold in its depths. They both payed their respects for a little while, and Kevin was much too tired for it to be awkward. He just wanted to get back home into his nice, warm bed.

"C'mon, I'll get you home. Thanks for the help." Calcifer said with a cocky grin. Ah, maybe this guy wasn't so bad. He was annoying as hell, but he wasn't too bad.

* * *

Dean watched his brother and Samandriel from inside as they spoke together softly in Enochian, sitting together outside on the back porch on one of those swinging benches. Dean desperately wanted two things; a beer and a nice, long sleep. But neither of which he could have right now.

One thing that had Dean feeling down was Sam was picking up so much easier on their new lifestyle. He'd been fascinated with the new language he'd learned overnight (like the nerd he was) and insisted on long talks with Samandriel everyday. He'd picked up easily on other skills too- moving things, reading minds, you name it and he was working on it. The angels who stayed in Adam's house had taken a liking to their newest addition to the family as well. Sam was always smiling at them with those puppy-dog eyes, starting up conversations with them, aiding them with the little things if they were too injured.

Things weren't going so great for Dean. He had a huge memory block stretching from when he'd awoken in Adam's heaven and when the explosion had taken place. He had no idea as to why either; Sam didn't seem to be having any memory problems. He'd slowly begun to remember each day, and it added to his grief when he was finally able to recall how much trouble he had been for Adam when he'd first arrived.

Adam had been kind in sparing them the details and only telling them the technicalities of how their souls turned. In reality, it was so much less graceful. Sam had been locked off in his separate room, and Dean was in the living room. The binding of the quota to Sam's existing human soul hadn't been too bad- his lasted for about a day, when he finally simply passed out into a deep sleep. Dean hadn't been so lucky. Adam had no idea what to do with himself when, after Sam had already quieted down, Dean kept on screaming. Adam tried anything he could think of to help with the pain, but nothing seemed to help. Dean curled in on himself, screaming out or calling with a worn out throat for Sam or Castiel. Samandriel sat with him each day, only getting up a few times. But when it started getting even worse, and Dean's body looked scarily close to giving out as it sometimes convulsed violently, Samandriel refused to leave Dean's side. Adam was beside himself at what to do, and he couldn't stand that it sounded like someone was being tortured right in his living room. This went on for Dean for a whole excruciating week, before Dean had finally collapsed into absolute exhaustion. It was only after that when he had finally come to.

When Dean remembered this, he stayed away from everyone in the house for a whole day, trying to avoid anyone from talking to him or trying to console him. Adam didn't deserve that from him. God dammit, he hadn't done shit for his little brother when he was alive. They'd been the reason he'd been dragged into the pit in the first place. He avoided his littlest brother's gaze especially that day.

Another thing that added to Dean's constantly expanding guilt were the few 'incidents' that he'd caused. On one of his good days, he'd been sitting at the dinner table and talking with Leilias and Adam, grateful that for once he could enjoy a good conversation. He'd even tried a tiny bit of Enochian with Leilias. Then, Adam had cracked a really funny joke. When Dean laughed, he blew out most of the windows in Adam's kitchen and part of the living room. He'd already felt guilty, even when Adam had insisted it was nothing. Then, Dean had to leave the room when the fragile little human living in a house with overwhelmingly powerful beings had sliced his hand clean open with a piece of glass. Adam kept telling profusely that it wasn't his fault, but Dean wouldn't hear any of it.

Another time he had accidently, unconciously connected directly to the pro-human network. He'd instantly fallen over, seized with so much pain that he was unable to move. If it hadn't been for the kind angel nearby, Torriel, he didn't know what would have happened to him. "It might be in your best interests to not do that right now," Torriel had told him kindly, as he'd had to reach onto Dean's forehead and help him turn it off manually. Dean should have thanked him, but instead he only felt disgusted at himself. He felt worthless and idiotic.

He barely could hold a conversation in Enochian, he had yet to move anything or read a mind, he only sometimes got tiny bits and pieces. The other angels had been friendly at first just like they had been toward Sam, but eventually sort of gave up as Dean kept giving them the cold shoulder and being rude. He felt bad about doing this too, but he just couldn't win.

He watched with tired eyes as Sam tickled Samandriel and he fell into his lap, all while they talked quickly and quietly. From where Dean sat, they almost looked like father and son. They both had the same straight, dark brown hair and innocent look in their eyes. Dean couldn't help but feel bad that Sam never would or could have a real son anymore. If only he'd never stolen him away from Stanford, maybe he would have gotten married, had kids of his own...

Dean was interrupted from his thoughts with a loud doorbell ring. He knew what that meant by now. He'd almost been classically conditioned to jump at the sound; it meant new injured angels were on the way. And there was no telling how severe it would be this time.

Two angels came to deliver the injured, and it looked bad. There were two, a boy and a girl, and one had to be held up as the other stood on his own. This one was holding his face tightly, as beams of light were shooting from between his fingers, and silver blood was trailing down his face down his neck and wicking into his shirt. He would probably be okay, as he pushed his way into the house.

The other one didn't look so good at all. She was bent over, with a long slash all across her chest that dropped down to her stomach. Light was streaming out, and her eyes were closed. Adam needed help getting her indoors, and he frantically searched for anything he would need.

With quick, precise movements, Adam tried spreading on a thick, clear serum and began ripping a glowing wipe tape roll quickly with his teeth as he pressed the pieces onto the gashes, no doubt caused from a blade. The strips glowed and seemed to melt into the wound, but it wasn't enough. Too much was being lost.

There was a loud boom, and Dean felt a sharp tug of pain from behind his heart. The sound set a rush of goosebumps up his spine, and it was very different from before when he'd experienced it. Adam just stared at the charred black wings, disbelief painted on his face.

"No. No, I did everything I was supposed to, I was trying so hard..." Adam's voice started to get waterier and waterier, and Dean pulled him into a hug. It was nice to have a little brother, one that wasn't a head taller than him that could fit into his arms. Adam sobbed into his shoulder, and Dean's wings unconsciously wrapped around the little human.

"You can't save everyone," Dean said quietly, and recalled that Castiel had said the same thing to him just a short time ago. Adam stayed like that for just a little while, but he needed to help the other one now. Adam looked up into Dean's face with extreme admiration, and he pulled away from the hug and wiped his face quickly.

"Come here," He called quietly to the second angel, who had been sitting quietly, holding his face. Adam smeared the clear mixture over the gash, and it seemed to work as a sort of sealent as the light stopped streaming out. He ripped pieces off of the roll with a lot less speed, and the squares seemed to melt into the eye and act as a sort of scab. Adam finished quickly and gave his signature hopeful pat to the man's shoulder, but he got up slowly to walk away. Poor kid, he shouldn't take the whole thing so roughly.

Then, Dean jumped when he heard the doorbell again.

"Really?" He said aloud as he rushed toward the door. Hopefully it was just a Lev posioning this time and not what they had just seen. Adam rushed toward the door as Dean quickly pulled it open. Instead of seeing a few angels with horrible injuries and faces painted with despair, he saw a friendly face.

"Cas!" He cried out happily, as he rushed forward to give his friend a hug. He looked a little different but not by much; he seemed to have chosen a vessel that looked much like his true form. He still had those bright blue eyes and jet black hair.

Dean flung his arms around his friend, and Cas smiled. He actually hugged back this time, not like when he'd stood ridgid in purgatory. He lifted a hand and stroked one of Dean's developing dark gold wings; now Dean understood why Samandriel was such a sucker when Adam pet those tiny white wings. He suddenly felt tension melt away from his shoulders, it felt pretty damn nice.

"It worked," Castiel said happily, with tears brimming in his deep blue eyes. He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead just opted to look at Dean, smiling.

'But why can't he recall?' Dean heard his first full and complete thought, coming from Castiel. Recall what? He must have been refering to the memory block that was still very much in place. Dammit, why couldn't he remember?

"Where is Sam and Samandriel? Are they alright?" Cas asked in his typical low voice, pushing in to the house.

"Yeah, of course, they're on the back porch. What's going on? I thought you were taking a break." Dean asked, following Castiel as he strode quickly through the house.

"I was. I was awoken from it. I have a duty for my side, and you three all have duties as well. We cannot stay in Adam's heaven for much longer. He must do his job and we must do ours."

He had almost reached the backdoor when Dean grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "What do you mean? Will me and Sam and even Andy have to go out on the battlefield?" Dean asked. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. He didn't want anything to happen to him or Sam or Samandriel that he saw come into this house.

"I'm afraid so," Castiel answered softly, turning back around to go out to the back porch. His face brightened again when he saw the two of them sitting together. Samandriel jumped up instantly and ran to Castiel, and Cas bent down and gathered his littlest brother into his arms.

"You shouldn't have worried so much about me. No, I didn't die." Cas almost laughed, as he answered Samandriel's quickly flowing thoughts.

"Sam," Castiel said with relief, putting Andy back on the ground. He wrapped his arms around Sam as well, and Dean noticed that he didn't stroke his dark brown wings. For some reason this make him just a tiny bit happy.

"I hate to bring bad news, but I'm afraid we must leave here soon. The war is speeding up ever since Gabriel joined, and we need all the help we can get."

"Even Samandriel?" Dean and Sam asked at the same time. They both couldn't bear to see the sweet little angel get hurt.

"Especially him. Because of his youth, he may be able to connect to the pro-apocalypse's network, even if for a short while. Also, you must not assume based on his appearance. He may be a child, but he is still very capable of most things."

Castiel looked down at the ground sadly. "We should go as soon as possible. You may say goodbye to Adam, if you'd like. I'd just like to warn you before we set out; heaven has grown very cold since this war has started."

Did he mean that figuratively or literally? Dean wondered, but he was quickly answered as he read another thought from Castiel. He saw in his mind's eye lush, beautiful green trees and grassy feilds,and blue skies filled with pure white clouds. The collective heaven for all angels. Then he saw it as it was now; covered in a sheet of white, barren, with skeletal charcoal-black trees. It didn't look like so much of a heaven anymore.

"When we do leave, you cannot be distracted by the several heavens that may approach you. Heaven for angels is like a...hm, highly efficient search engine. But we must keep going, do you understand?" Castiel asked seriously, narrowing his lovely blue eyes, which were even more vivid in his true form.

Sam and Dean nodded. Heavens would approach them? But they'd lost so many, how would it be possible to resist?


	9. Gabriel's Return

It had been hard leaving Adam's. The brothers had to part ways with their youngest half-brother yet again, and he kept ensuring that they would see each other again, light shining behind his bright blue eyes. He had a lot of qualities that John must have been proud of; his dexterity, endurance, and amazingly pointed morals. But it seemed that his firey compassion to help the wounded came from his mom.

It had been physically hard as well. Adam's heaven was always in pleasent spring weather, and it was a perpetual 2 o' clock in the afternoon. So when the four angels came to the boudary between this pleasent little heaven and the freezing cold, barren forests, it was hard to step over into the sub-zero tempuratures. They stepped out from his green grassed lawn, and right away they passed through a barrier and the sunny house turned into a hazy, window-like two dimensional image with a slight whomp.

Wind bit into their exposed skin, and the skinny black trees didn't offer much protection from the bitterly cold gusts.

"We have to keep going, it gets better once we find the other angels. The warmth of all our graces combined will help." Castiel explained over the whistling wind. He rushed to scoop up Samandriel, who was clinging tightly to Dean's hand as the snow had come up thigh-deep on him. Samandriel clung to Castiel from the front, peeking back at Sam and Dean from Cas's shoulder, which he rested his chin on.

There seemed to be a warmth from somewhere else, Dean noticed. He felt himself being pulled to the source. He could somewhat make out two people standing in a room, but it was like trying to see through a veil of mist. The two-dimensional view of the room looked part way there, as if it could either vanish into nothing or solidify into something entirely tangible. Dean felt a jolt when he realized what this had to be; John and Mary's shared heaven! Dean felt a rush of excitement and happiness and he felt himself being drawn to the hazy image. Castiel roughly grabbed his wrist, snapping him out of it.

"Dean. You will have time to visit later. We must keep going," He warned, his deep blue eyes shining. "I'm sorry."

Dean scowled and fell back into line with the others. More and more tempting heavens kept appearing all around them, calling out with their warmth and love. It was like suffering from hypothermia and having someone standing right there with a coat, blanket, warm bed and cup of tea and having to refuse it.

They had to force themselves to pass by Jo, Ellen and Ash's heaven at the pub, and Samandriel had to resist seeing Alfie again. The worst was passing by Bobby's. The boys felt the warmth and the aura and knew it was his, but they both couldn't even bear to look at what his best moment was.

This was absolutely mentally exhausting, having something you wanted most of all and not being able to even look. Then Sam finally saw one heaven that he had to give in. Dean looked over to see the approaching heaven with weary eyes. Damn, this was torture. Where the hell were these other angels?

He saw a blurry image of what the incoming heaven was, it looked somewhat like a brick building or apartment. Suddenly, Sam's whole body locked up with one sweep, and before Cas could grab him, Sam was sprinting like hellhounds were after him to the approaching heaven. "Sam, stop! We can't-" Dean called after him, trying to grab his brother to only be restrained by Castiel again, Cas only slowly shook his head. Without him speaking, Dean understood. He should not interrupt them, and Sam would come back out. Dean knew he had enough willpower.

The window into the heaven solidfied with a muffled thump when Sam passed through the misty portal, and every detail suddenly became very real and crystal clear. Stanford University campus, Dean recognized. Oh, god. No wonder Sam had sprinted off so fast.

Sam ran faster and faster, his heart racing. Only one person was on his mind, and he just couldn't get there fast enough. He burst through the familiar dorm room door, his heart feeling like it was beating a billion times a minute. "Jess?" He cried out, and felt warmth instantly in his chest at just saying the name. That name hadn't left his lips in years.

And like magic, there she was, standing there in the dorm with a smile on her face, in a beautiful white dress. She looked more like an angel in Sam's eyes than he would ever be. Sam felt his heart melt as he saw that familiar face that he hadn't seen smiling like that for years and years. Her hair was just like he remembered it, a beautiful shining blonde with gentle curls that reached down to her ribcage. She was bright-eyed and intelligent, and she looked exactly the same from years ago, and so perfect that Sam stood there for half a second, starstruck.

Coming to his senses, Sam barrelled through the room and wrapped his arms tightly around Jess, lifting and twirling her in a circle before setting her down lightly and kissing her with all the passion and longing that had built up over the years. His deep brown wings puffed with air and shuffled, instinctively stretching to partly wrap around the small human's body.

They pulled apart, and Jess smiled genuinely and gazed up into Sam's eyes with her own innocent, bright eyes. Happy tears sparkled in Sam's deep blue eyes; he couldn't help it, he leaned down and kissed her again. She laughed waterily, tears springing to her eyes as well. Sam threw his arms around her and buried himself into a hug. God, he had missed her so much. And finally seeing her again made him realize how much he had really missed her.

"I'm so proud of you, Sam." She said with laughing eyes, stroking the hair on the back of his head, and eventually trailing down his neck and shoulder blades, and sliding a hand down the rounded tops of his glossy wings. "Look at how beautiful you are."

Sam let out a hiccup-like noise that was the combination between a laugh and sob. He pulled out of the hug and held her shoulders tenderly and looked into her lovely, lovely face.

"It was you, Jess. It was always you." He smiled, running a hand down her small face and smudging away a tear with his thumb. Jess swept her eyes to the hand and brought both of her hands up to hold Sam's massive palm between two of hers.

"I know, Sam. I've been watching. You've been so brave." Then she suddenly looked very sad, shifting her gaze to look at the ground. There was a beat of silence as she clung to Sam's hand.

"You have to go, Sam. I know you want to stay here with me, but you have to go. Your work is not done yet," She said sadly, bringing her hands away from Sam's and grasping them together.

"Why do I have to do it? I've already done enough, haven't I?" He swooped in to gave her a little kiss on the cheek, and she gave in and ran her hand through his hair slowly, softly.

"I promise I'll always be here, Sam. I'll be watching over you. But you need to help the angels now," She said softly, dropping her hand to her side, and then reaching to grab Sam's hand.

He looked like a sad, confused puppy as she softly led him out of her room, and he willingly let her tow him from her room. They walked in silence, hand in hand, as she led him to the end of her heaven.

"I love you, Sam." She said, tears springing to her eyes. It had been just as hard for her to force Sam to go as it was for Sam to leave. But Jess was wise, and with so much willpower. She knew she couldn't take Sam away when his new angel family needed him most. She missed him so much. But she knew that when this was all over, they would be together. They just needed to wait just a little bit longer. And this was the only thing that powered her to lead Sam to the outskirts of her heaven.

He wrapped her in a huge hug, putting his hand behind her blonde head of hair and pulling her close to his chest. "I love you too. I always have." She sobbed and he drew her even closer.

They stayed like that for just a little while, swaying slowly back and forth, not wanting to speak and ruin the moment. Dean, Castiel, and Samandriel could just barely see them through the now closed, window-like veil. Finally, Sam leaned down for their parting kiss, his face wet with tears. They both knew what they didn't say; they only needed to wait just a little while, and they could be together again. But that barely made it easier.

"I'll come back when it's all over," He half-whispered to her, his voice dripping with longing.

"I'll be right here. Give 'em hell, Sam." Jess reached up and softly cupped her hand on the side of his face, and Sam closed his eyes and leaned just slightly into it, wishing to keep her touch there forever. Finally, they had to part, and Sam stepped slowly through the window, looking back with sad, sad eyes. He was still holding her hand limply, and they slowly let their fingers unravel as he stepped out of her heaven. He looked back to see her usual beautiful bright smile, though there were tears in her eyes. She was so proud of him, it was obvious. But she didn't want to be selfish, she wanted Sam to go where he was needed. And she smiled because she knew that he would return for her. And when that happened, they would never have to part like this again.

Sam finally lost the touch of her fingers and stumbled back through the portal, hiding his eyes behind his hair. Dean didn't feel like Sam needed to hide anything, he knew how hard it had been for him. Samandriel struggled to escape Castiel's arms, and he tromped over to the distressed Sam and hugged his legs tightly, only to have Sam bend down silently and pull him into his arms.

_She has a beautiful soul. _Dean was able to catch the thought that Samandriel sent out into the air, and he felt a little bit accomplished that he was finally at least able to do something.

"Thank you," Sam said in a sorrowful voice, holding the little angel close, like a little kid in distress would a teddy bear.

"Not everyone will be as self-sacrificing as Jess. We cannot go into any more heavens for now." Cas warned them, as he began to keep trudging through the snow. At least the wind had died down a little, and snowflakes had started to fall, making it a bit hard to see anything far away.

They walked in silence for a while, the only sound the crunching of footprints in the snow, as Sam seemed to still be dazed and all conversation had ended. Sam and Dean felt a glowing, bonfire-like warmth coming from not too far away, and Castiel spoke up to announce that they were not very far away. It grew warmer and warmer as they kept walking, it was more of an internal heat that felt a lot like joy, or the warmth you feel with someone you love.

They walked just a bit further and stumbled into the pro-human camp. Since Gabriel had arrived, it looked so much better than when Cas and Samandriel had seen it last. He'd used his archangel powers to create small, white tents that easily blended into the snowy background, and angels milled about, there were about twenty tents, and just fifteen angels here at the moment. A few were injured and resting, but many others were working hard. Four were working together to carefully construct the mechanisms for a holy oil bomb, while three others were melting down an angel blade (no doubt stolen from the other side) over a warm burning fire, and pressing the molten metal into molds and creating bullets.

"Eyyyyyyy!"

Castiel heard a high-energy call from just beside him, and he was tackled by two identical, dark curly-haired boys. Isiah and Calcifer messed Castiel's hair and kept squeezing him into much too tight hugs.

"Get off!" Cas said, annoyed, as he smoothed down his hair again. "You two still act like you're three hundred years old." The two stood in front of him now, side-by-side and beaming with false-innocent smiles, Isiah's half-wing flapping excitedly. Castiel rolled his eyes. These two might have too much human emotion than they knew what to do with.

"Good to see you up and running, Cassie." Calcifer said with a twinkle in his eye. "You're probably the slipperiest fish I've had to recruit."

"We'd like to speak with Gabriel." Cas ignored the comment, looking past the boys and to the tents. "Is he here?"

"Sure is. And he's planning something, something big." Isiah answered. "You'd better bring little kewpie doll there will you too." He said, nodding at Samandriel, who looked up from Sam's arms with a surprised expression.

Calcifer caught sight of something that the other angels were doing. "Hey! Wait, you're doing it in the wrong order!" He called, and both of them trotted away, the snow crunching loudly underfoot.

Sam and Dean felt that same fire-like warmth, but this time they knew that it wasn't just indicating the presence of several angels, but it reeked of just one angel. It had a very specific feel to it as well, and they knew it had to represent a single angel, a very powerful, very old and important one.

"That would be Gabriel." Castiel explained, and lifted his head, like a cat testing the air again, and started to head into a certain direction, Dean and Sam with Samandriel in tow.

They finally approached a tent that was overflowing with Gabriel's heat, or aura, or whatever it was. Dean and Sam were surprised to find that it looked the same as all the other tents, they'd both somehow imagined that he'd erect some sort of castle for himself. Maybe he was abandoning his douche-baggy ways during the war effort.

Cas pulled back the flap softly, and all four of them leaned in to see the tent. Inside, it was more like a small, cozy house. He had a fireplace and fire going strong in the corner, and a large table with all sorts of papers with scribbles in Enochian, and a quickly sketched map. Sam and Dean were amazed when they finally saw the man's true form: he wore his usual human body, but he had six large, stacked wings, three on each side, going in a gradient with the top wings being a pleasant, chestnut brown, the middle were a shimmering caramel color and the very bottoms were a very light yellow-gold. He also had something that was so faint on the other angels that it didn't show up; a somewhat sheer, pure white, circular halo that was lightly glowing from behind his head. If Sam and Dean had known that he had looked like this when they were on earth, maybe they would have been a tiny bit more careful. He looked like he could and would be able to fuck up some serious shit.

"Oh, hello! Well, would you look at that. Sam and Dean, angels. I never would have thought, but then here we are." He said, leaning back on his chair and kicking his feet up onto the wooden table. "And you are here because...?"

"Don't pull that shit, Gabe. We need to know the plan so we can end this damn war." Dean said somewhat angrily. He knew he wanted it over so that Sam could be with Jess, but he also wanted it over so that he could finally rest for once in his damn life.

Gabriel threw his hands up, feigning surprise. "Nice to see you too, Winchester." Dean rolled his eyes and looked to Castiel for support.

"You know what I am here to talk about." Cas said in a low voice, not supporting Dean like he thought he would have. Dean felt just a tiny bit irked.

"It's a damn shame. A real damn shame. And I'm sorry, but I really don't have an answer." Gabriel replied, finally taking his feet off the table and standing up slowly.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, readjusting his hold on Samandriel. Gabriel looked at him with tired brown-greeen eyes, frowning slightly. He seemed a lot less trickstery now, and he just looked a little worn out. It must be hard trying to get the whole army together, and supplying them all with tents and supplies that had to be conjured out of thin air.

"You two should know this story very well, seeing that you lived it. My brothers, Lucifer and Michael, are trapped together down in hell. The hell that you two just closed off forever." He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his hair.

"Lucifer and Crowley aren't too happy about that, see. So, being the sneaky, manipulative bastards they are, they're trying to use Michael to get at us." He explained, coming up to talk directly to Sam. For some reason, Samandriel shrunk back into Sam's chest, and Sam was able to pick up as to why. This powerful angel reminded him painfully of the one who had come into the nursery that one dreadful day.

"How?" Dean asked. Dammit, he thought they were done with hell for good. Great, just great.

"You two are aware as to how demons are made, correct? Human souls, so broken, battered, stripped down to absolutely nothing but pure bad, pure hate, pure evil. It takes hundreds of years, typically at the hands of a few other demons. Well..."

He looked directly at Dean, and Dean's dark butterscotch wings shifted nervously. "I can see it in your eyes. You connected to the network, didn't you? You felt it too, the pain, the torture, everything?" Gabriel continued gravely.

"I...Yes." Dean answered quickly and darted his eyes away, preferring not to think about that instantaneous pain that seemed to rip every seam that held him together when he had accidentally connected.

"Lucifer and Crowley are trying to taunt us, they want us to open up hell again. And they are doing this by directing all of hell into torturing Michael."

Sam and Dean's faces dropped. They were sending _all _of hell on Michael? Was that even possible? It was hard for them to even wrap their minds around the concept.

Gabriel continued, now turning his back to them and pacing around in the small room. "Michael is still connected to the pro-human network, even though he's far away. He's absolutely overridden it with his pains and cries for help. I considered one option of trying to sever ties with him, but this would only make matters worse. Do you see what I mean? If a human soul, which is essentially made up of the same substance as an angel's, can turn into a demon, there's no doubt that an angel's could be corrupted as well. And if all of hell is being released on Michael, we are running out of time before-"

"Hold on. You're saying that it would result in _two_ devils?" Sam asked, his eyes growing wide. Of all people, he knew what just one devil could do. But _two_? He didn't even want to imagine.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. And with two devils, both previously archangels, who knows what could happen to hell's seal. It's very possible that they could break it open again."

The five stood in silence as the idea sunk in. Now everything else they'd accomplished before seemed so trivial.

"So what can we do?" Sam spoke up softly.

"I really don't know. As of now, we're winning this civil war, because our numbers are greater, and we have better organization and motivation. Turns out emotions can be pretty useful if you want to get people fighting for a cause. And at the rate it's going, especially with me added to the mix, it might be completely over in a few years. But with Michael, there's really no telling what could happen in that situation. I've been trying to think of solutions for days. Michael shouldn't kill himself, because although that would mean he would return to the Internal Grace, that means we'd only have one archangel left; Me. And there was never, ever meant to be just one archangel." He paused, looking as if he was looking through everyone.

Dean was surprised at how easily he was able to pick up on the thoughts this time. Maybe it had just taken him a little while to get a hang of it. He could tell that Gabriel and Michael had been close, some time ago. From Gabriel's description, Michael really did act a lot like Dean. And Gabriel had definitely admired his qualities. (Dean remembered a while ago when Gabriel had said 'I like you.' He now realized it was because of how similar he was to Gabriel's brother). Then they had gotten in a fight, but they didn't hate each other. They just couldn't be close anymore when they had such starkly contrasting ideas. He could tell that Gabriel desperately wanted to find a solution to save his brother, and maybe they could forgive each other and be friends again.

"The only thing is, I'm not sure how we'd even be able to open it again. The seal you all put up is so strong, I have no clue where to even start."

The last thing Dean wanted was to feel _guilty _about closing up hell. He didn't know something like this was going to happen! He only wanted to save earth from the evil that was pouring into it, the evil that plagued it more and more everyday.

"You said that this war was almost over?" Sam asked again, and Dean could tell the only thing on his mind was Jess.

"I didn't say that. I said as of now, we're winning." Gabriel answered, looking tired out just by explaining his dilemma.

"How many angels are left? No offense, but this camp seems a bit miniscule." Gabriel finally smiled, that grin that seemed to fit his face perfectly, and he finally seemed a little bit more like himself after he'd been so uncharacteristically serious for the past couple of minutes.

"Oh, Sam. You're always so naive. This is definitely not the only army we have. I'd even venture to say what we have here is sort of the weak link, mostly injured and small-power angels. Oh, no, no. If you were aware, there were five angel ringleaders in this operation. Well, six now, including me. You've met two of them, Calcifer and Isiah, extreme human sympathizers and in charge of recruitment. They both had a tough job when the war had started, but now they are sort of just gathering up the strays and helping out with other things. The other three you have not yet met are three very powerful angels Melchoir, Velias and Antheniel. They have three very populous, very organized camps that are scattered elsewhere."

Gabriel made a hand motion to usher them out of the cramped tent. They went back outside, and the snowflakes were falling even faster now. "I'll get someone to show you all what to do. Unfortunately, there's a battle coming. A big one. One that might just be one of the most impactful on this war. So, we'll need to get you ready." He looked around the meager camp, looking at the angels who were now huddling around the fire and talking lightly amongst each other, working to keep making more bullets.

"I think I should send you off to a different camp to get ready, seeing that I, along with Calcifer and Isiah, have to whip this division back into shape. Melchoir is very, very good at making decisions and military tactics, but he can be a bit obscure at times. Velias is very ruthless, and a little rough around the edges, but is a damn good leader. Antheniel is extremely wise and somewhat precautious for every action that will be taken, but she usually can predict many different outcomes and is outstanding at picking the best option. She's got a great mind, although it's not as war-oriented as Melchoir or Velias. So, take your pick." He looked right at Samandriel, who noticed right away, stiffened and looked away quickly.

"I think maybe we should stay here." Castiel spoke up, and it hadn't passed his notice the interactions between Gabriel and Samandriel.

"You're the one survivor, aren't you?" Gabriel spoke directly to Samandriel, who still had his cheek turned and was blatantly not looking at the powerful angel.

"Because you were born when the split was taking place, it seems as if you were born with both sides incorporated in you. You still have both networks, although the pro-apocalypse one is laying dormant for now." He peered at the tiny angel curiously. Sam had noticed that the tiny kid had started to shake and shiver slightly, and he held him closer, slightly turning as if to shield him from Gabriel.

"He's only a kid, Gabe. As long as he's with me, I'm not going to let you mess around with him." He said angrily, still extremely bitter from his death-everyday Tuesdays at the Mystery Spot.

Gabriel looked angry, which Sam and Dean had seen just a few times before. "Do you really think I have time to dick around like I used to? He could be very useful, Sam. He could be someone who turns the tides even more in our favor. Just think what could happen if we got access to the other side's network! We could _destroy_ them!"

Sam looked into those big, gray eyes and that little string of freckles on Samandriel's face. He felt like the little angel was somehow his responsibility, like he was really his little brother. Or maybe even like a son.

"What would happen to him? What if just be connecting to the other side he would start to...start to act like _them_?" When he said it aloud, it became that much more real. Samandriel could be a major weapon, that was true. He was the only angel in existence with both networks' potential inside him. But what if he turned sides? That would be horrible. Catastrophic, even. He didn't want to risk something like that.

He thought of how creepy that unemotional, cruel little girl that contained the evil demon Lilith had been. He got a flash of an image of the tiny kid Samandriel standing on the opposite side of a battlefeild, a scarily blank expression on his face as he led all the cold-graced pro-apocalypse angels to destroy them. He shuddered.

Sam and Gabriel engaged in a fierce eye contact battle, both looking at the other with narrowed eyes and angry expressions, Sam holding tightly to Samandriel and not looking like he would give him up so easily.

"He's my brother too, Sam. I have just as much rights to him as you do," Gabriel said coldly, staring down Sam with a fiery look in his eyes.

"You won't do what's best for him! You _left_ when your family needed you, Gabriel! You're the reason there's only two archangels left, because you weren't around when the others were murdered!" Sam said acidly, and right afterwards he knew he had taken it too far.

Gabriel broke his fierce stare and looked at the ground, not saying anything for a second as tensions ran high. Instead of saying something threatening or a bitter comeback, he simply looked up to Dean and Castiel, giving Sam the cold shoulder.

"Be ready for your first training session in two hours. We'll gather the camp up behind my tent. Capeesh?" Dean and Cas nodded, looking very serious. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to call a meeting with Cal and Isiah." He pushed through them, bumping into Sam, who trailed him with narrowed eyes, holding the back of Samandriel's head protectively.

Dean turned to Sam, an angry look on his face. "Come on, Sam. Why'd you have to piss of the most powerful angel we have right now?" He scolded, but he felt bad for chewing his brother out when Sam returned his lecture with a wide-eyed look. He'd really only been looking out for Samandriel, who he'd grown pretty close with. And Dean was able to see his point, the fact that Samandriel could be a horrible weapon if he fell into the wrong hands, or if he somehow chose to go into the wrong hands.

The snow was falling so thickly now that it was hard to even see a few feet ahead of them. The four angels went to duck into the nearest available tent to shelter themselves. The only thing on Sam's mind was Jess, and how he wished he could have stayed with her instead. But his brother (well, he supposed they were all technically his brothers now) needed him, and he would use his need to return to Jess to fuel his motivation for the war.

Dean hadn't meant to, but suddenly another piece of his memory was freed from his memory block. He suddenly vividly remembered his death; he had appeared outside of his body, looking down as tears slipped from his eyes as he looked at Castiel weeping, Dean's battered body set down gently in front of the mourning angel. Current Dean felt a tug in his chest, something had happened before this, something important. But what had it been?

Dean saw his one beautiful Reaper, she reached out and softly grabbed his hand. "You're not going to argue with me this time, are you?" She said softly, smiling sadly. "No," Dean replied, weaving his fingers into hers. Maybe it really was time for him to go, it was time for him to rest. They had barely begun to walk, Dean knew he was being lead to death himself, when a molten hot light suddenly pierced the very middle of his soul. The Reaper looked down in shock, and Dean looked down at his stomach in disbelief, his hands instinctually curling toward his stomach, and he felt scared as the white-hot star started to grow and expand right before his eyes.

Dean snapped out of the memory to see Castiel staring intently at him. "You should keep your mind clear and focused for when we are going to begin training." He said simply as he went to sit down on a chair in the little tent. "It is going to be a very difficult task, even for you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Dean said dismissively, as he looked out the tent flaps to the quickly falling snow outside. Who knew the most important thing he'd do would be after he died. He looked to all the friendly faces in the tent- his little brother, his best friend, a little kid they'd picked up along the way that he'd grown to love. He prayed that none of them would be hurt. He would never admit it, but he was scared. If they thought they'd been over their heads before, they didn't know the half of it.


	10. It's a Cold World

Dean, Sam, Castiel and Samandriel had been sharing a tent, trying to rest after a short yet emotionally exhausting journey. And with all the bad news they'd receieved, Dean had wanted more than ever to just close his eyes and sleep. He tried to settle for the second best thing, closing his eyes and trying to relax as he sat on the floor, resting his back on the wall of the little room. It didn't help much, as he stayed wide awake, and he listened in as Sam and Castiel spoke quietly together.

Suddenly, there was a ground-rumbling boom from not too far away that shook the little room they were in. They heard the shouts and cries of the angels outside. One of them swiftly pulled the tent flap aside. "There's been an ambush!" She cried, before sprinting off. The four looked up with surprised faces and clambered to get out of the tent and fight.

It looked like all hell had broken loose when they stepped outside. Everyone was yelling, shouting and sprinting around, as faint booms were heard as angels died or loud, ground-shaking booms from the bombs. There was a whizzing sound in the air, and as Sam watched a Leviathan bullet sped just inches past his ear and zipped through the air, colliding with a tree's trunk and leaving a dark black spatter. Sam's heart started pumping, and fear and determination flooded his system. He felt something heavy and secure fall into his palm; his own blade.

Dean watched as Sam pulled a long, silver blade from thin air and it flashed in the light, playing against his face with his dangerously determined facial expression. This was the type of Sam that no one in their right mind would mess with. He sprinted off with those long legs, following a pack of angels who had just went off together, heading straight to the battlefield.

Dean couldn't think straight as people rushed around him and noises filled the air. Swirling snowflakes all added to the mix and created an air of chaos.

"Stay here. Hide yourself if they come looking for you. If you need to, run away." Cas commanded Samandriel, using his dangerously low voice that meant business. The little dark-haired angel looked very afraid as he receded back into the tent, and Castiel turned his head quickly and locked his deep blue eyes with Dean's.

Without a word, he reached out and grabbed Dean's wrist and started to sprint and lead him. Dean felt disoriented as the snowflakes kept coming down heavier and heavier, swirling white so that he could barely see beyond the back of Castiel's tan trench coat. He saw a split-second flash of silver as something zipped by, a melted down blade bullet that had missed him by inches.

The yelling grew louder and louder, and they had finally reached the scene of the battle. Flecks of white danced sporadically as Dean caught glimpses of what was happening- he saw three human-body angels all take down one creature that looked like a radioactive waste spill gone wrong, with a somewhat human shaped body that had sprouted all sorts of miscellaneous animal parts. The thing fell to the floor hard, painting the snow with black charcoal wings. There were many other creatures like that, as the human angels kept trying to gang up and take them down.

Dean recognized Sam with a jolt. He was working alongside three other angels, and he saw Sam grip his blade ruthlessly and deliver the final blow to one of the enemy angels, sweeping in a fierce arc with a powerful hand. He got just a glance at his face, and Dean got a chill through his body, and he watched how quickly Sam rushed off to the next one. Damn, his baby brother, the one he'd always needed to protect, was taking down the enemy like it was nothing.

An angel not four feet away from him and Cas suddenly was struck down, right in the center, with a blade bullet, and Dean felt a sharp tug behind his heart that almost made him cry out. He felt more and more as angels started falling all around. With each one he hoped with all his heart that it wasn't Sam.

Dean now pulled Cas along to try and find Sam so he could fight alongside him, Cas cried out and Dean felt himself being shoved out of the way. He fell with his shoulder digging into a pile of snow, the cold pricking his skin like he'd fallen on needles. Contrastingly, he felt a blast of heat on his back as he and Cas had narrowly avoided the blast range from a fiery bomb. Dean finally felt his heart race, and with a pang of fear he felt his own weapon slide smoothly into his palm. Just the blast alone had cleared the air of snowflakes if for just a few seconds.

Dean realized the pile he'd fallen into was a quickly constructed bunker, and he found Calcifer and two other angels behind it. Calcifer's face quickly turned into one of genuine fear as he was able to see clearly, and spotted Isiah knelt on the ground, clutching his side with his face contorted in pain, white light streaming through the wound, trying to wrap his wings around him for protection, but his stubby amputated one did not even cover his back.

"Isiah!" Calcifer screamed out in Enochian, the way he said it pulled on everyone's heartstrings, they just almost taste the fear and heartbreak. Calcifer went to scramble over the bunker, and just then Dean saw something and life seemed to play in slow-motion. The one angel was holding a bomb in his hand, and was ready to act as a self-sacrificing trap to the seven or eight angels that had started to gang up on him.

Dean saw Sam, who was oblivious toward the plan, start to sprint and help. He felt the largest rush of the need to protect Sam overwhelm him, and suddenly Sam stopped in his tracks, looking like he'd hit a wall. Dean simultaneously pulled Calcifer, who was still screaming for Isiah, down to safety as the bomb went off, sending a fiery wall over their heads. Calcifer struggled to get Dean off of him, still trying to reach as far as he could. Dean his chest squeeze painfully as he felt at least eight of the angels die all at once.

Calcifer was still reaching with partially singed fingers, tears had instantly started to stream down his cheeks. "No-o-o-o!" He sobbed, his cries racking his body. Dean tried to stop him as he powered over the top, and he collapsed in total heartbreak as he saw a pair of unbalanced black wings were Isiah had been just moments ago.

Calcifer stayed there, curled in a little ball as his body shook with sobs, not even acknowledging that there were still dangerous things whizzing around him. Dean picked up on his mindset; he didn't care if he lived or died. Not anymore.

"Calcifer!" Dean barked out for him, as Castiel looked at him with weary eyes. Dean saw another enemy angel coming toward them, and scrambled out of the little hole they were in, his blade tight in his hand. He saw Sam again, and they exchanged glances for just a split second before they came together to take down the mass of human-shaped animal parts. Dean's heart was throbbing from all the losses, and he didn't even hesitate as he lunged and sliced at the thing.

He felt a boom rattle his bones as the creature timbered to the ground, but he felt nothing in his chest like when angels on his side died.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a mass of humans slipping through the trees as stealthy as cats, and they moved quickly and lithly in packs of three or four. Dean knew that this had to be backup from one of the other troops that Gabriel had mentioned. These angels knew what they were doing, and Dean watched as the scene unfolded and these lethal teams quickly swept in and overcame the few enemy angels left.

The whizzing of bullets died down, and the stealthy new angels who had arrived started to round up the wounded and dissapear with the flapping of wings, no doubt taking them to Adam's or other places like his. Dean looked back and noticed Calcifer had not moved, even after it was all over.

"Cal?" He asked, coming up to the angel who was supposed to be one of the five powerful commanding officers. He was curled up in a fetal position, one of his hands lying limply on top of the pair of charred wings, and his eyes were blank as if he was looking through everything.

"Get the fuck away from me." Calcifer practically growled, as he sunk his hand into the snow and gripped his hand angrily into a fist. "You don't understand. You can never understand. He's never coming back. I can't just go to _heaven_ or _hell_ or _purgatory_ to get him back." Calcifer sneered, anger beginning to glint in his eyes as he looked up to Dean with narrowed eyes. His nose wrinkled in disgust as he continued. "_You_ think you'd do anything for Sam? You've only known him for thirty years! I've known Isiah for _thousands_!" He curled up tighter and looked like he would never move from that spot.

Dean didn't know what to say, and he looked over his shoulder to see Castiel standing there, a look of grief on his face as he had collected Samandriel and held him in his arms. "Just go away," Calcifer exhaled softly, his back to Dean. Dean noticed that the fifteen-something stars that dotted his grace seemed to twinkle and try to comfort him, as his body started to shiver from the cold and shake from sobs.

Castiel put a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder, as Dean stared at the vulnerable angel with a bewildered look on his face. He finally understood the gravity of his situation; if he did lose Sam, there would be no getting him back. He would be gone forever, his substance would mesh into a giant grace and be recycled. He felt his stomach drop at the realization.

"Just leave him for now," Castiel said softly, as Dean took one last glance at Calcifer. He felt maybe he could understand. Sam and Dean trailed Castiel, exhausted, and the two came back into the camp to see Gabriel conversing with a short, pretty little angel.

She was probably around five foot one, and she had long wavy white-blonde hair, and soft dark gray wings. When they came closer, they realized that she had stony gray eyes, much like Samandriel's. She was smiling, and she looked strong willed and sharp.

"...thank you for coming to help, Antheniel." They heard Gabriel say to the little woman. She smiled and shook her head. "It was nothing. We were very close by anyway. I would suggest that you train your troop soon, Gabriel. It would be a shame to see such losses again."

Gabriel nodded, looking very grim. "I agree. Isiah is no longer with us."

Antheniel had to divert her eyes. She'd really liked those pesky twins, who were so often overidden with human emotions that it was almost hard to tell they were even angels at times. "I'm sorry to hear that." She said softly, and turned to a stern-looking warrior who was standing beside her and made a quick hand motion, it was time for them to move on.

Gabriel looked like he was doing some serious pondering when he nodded curtly to the small woman and looked right at Sam and Dean.

"Come here," He called for them with a beckoning hand. All four of them came up and stared gravely that the powerful archangel in charge.

"You both were close with the prophet when you lived on Earth?" He asked the rhetorical question, and Dean and Sam were not sure were he was headed with this, but Cas clearly did.

"You can't, they're not ready yet-" He tried to speak up, but he was interrupted by Gabriel.

"How do you feel about getting out here and paying a little visit?" He asked, and they both understood. But would they even be able to return to earth? And how the hell would getting vessels work?

"We need to find out if there is any way to open hell up again. We need to rescue Michael soon, we're running out of time. With Antheniel here, we could afford to have you both off on your first mission, even after the losses from today."

Dean had adverted his eyes, thinking deeply. But Sam looked angry again, as he glanced at Samandriel.

"I know exactly what this is. You want to get rid of me so you can get at Andy. I'm not letting that happen," Sam said, curling his fist tightly.

"I'll do it," Samandriel spoke up quietly, and suddenly all four eyes were on the kid. "I'll try to get on the other network. After what happened to Isiah..." The kid was wearing a much too sad expression on his face for someone his age. "I want to help. I want everything to be over, no matter what it takes."

Sam and Dean looked extremely surprised, and Gabriel grinned. "Atta boy," He said, and reached out to tuck a tiny little strand of brown hair behind the kid's ear. Dean could tell that Gabriel was used to being a big brother and this was an extremely kind, familiar gesture, but still the little kid shrunk back and wrinkled his nose a tiny bit in fear, but he still allowed him to do it.

"I will stay here with him and make sure everything is fine," Castiel said, glancing down when Samandriel had cringed into him, trying to reassure Dean and Sam.

The brother's exchanged questioning glances, but finally nodded. However, Dean caught a little glimpse of something in Sam's eye and knew something was up.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me why he does that. Why he's afraid of you," Sam said, narrowing his eyes. Gabriel closed his eyes and looked skyward, looking frustrated and like he didn't want to say the answer.

He exhaled and his breath swirled away, and he leveled his eyes to look into Sam's, they twinkled hazel. "You should know the story better than anyone. Brother fighting against one another, Michael and Lucifer, until one killed the other and prevailed. Well, what do you think the other archangels were supposed to be doing while that was happening? Standing by with a tub of popcorn and enjoying the show?" He looked somewhat angry again.

"You should know by now that most things have a balance. Why do you think there were four archangels? And if two of them fought each other on earth, what do you think the other two are destined to do?"

_Fight each other in heaven. _Sam concluded, but he still didn't understand. Raphael was dead...

"That's where you're wrong. You really thing Castiel could kill an _archangel? _Oh, please." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Who do you think started this war? Raphael always hated the humans, much like Lucifer. He just wasn't as upfront about it, so he got to stay. Him and Lucifer are very much alike."

Sam blinked, unbelieving. "You're saying Raphael is still alive?"

Gabriel looked at him with an annoyed expression. "Someone get this kid a medal. Yes, he's still alive. And parallel to my brothers down in the cage, I'm the only one who can kill him." Gabriel suddenly got extremely tired eyes and didn't look like he wanted to continue.

"It was Raphael who is heading the other side. And it was him who killed all of the newborns. Well, all except one." Gabriel's eyes flitted to Samandriel for just a second. He avoided their eyes as he continued. "Do you understand the gravity of the situation now? I'm giving you two your first mission; retrieve Michael. Bring him back here, and we'll both work to end this damn thing."

Dean felt something strange tugging from behind his back. He turned around to see a throbbing hole, pitch black inside, which was opening larger as he watched. "Have fun," Gabriel said with his trademark sideways grin, as Dean's eyes widened and he and Sam fell backwards into the the newly opened wormhole, and Dean felt the worst falling sensation in the pit of his stomach as he hurtled backward toward earth again, returning for the first time since he'd died.

* * *

He felt himself collide with the earth not a split second later, soil impacting on his back as he slid a few yards. He felt something in his chest burst out swiftly and search like a radar bing for a suitable vessel. He didn't like the feeling he got here, the atmosphere was grinding on his whole body. He realized with a jolt that it was the atmosphere being corrosive to his _grace. _He still somehow didn't want to come to terms that it was really who he had become.

He felt himself being catapulted to the match he'd finally got. An acne-ridden teen who looked like he hadn't quite grown into his body yet was walking home by himself from school (as usual). Suddenly, he felt much happier than he had in a while.

_Hi, um, my name's Dean, and uh... mind if I...uh, just say yes to me, dude. _

...

Dean was a sight to see. He walked like he usually did, with a long gait and powerful stride like he had somewhere to go, but this looked hilarious on a lanky, gangly teen with a spotty face. He was following a tiny tug in his chest, telling him where to find Sam. He saw a little girl standing much too still underneath a street lamp. She was wearing a little pink flowered dress, and she had long, straight brown hair and big brown doe-eyes, and looked about seven. Dean strode up and knew that Sam was near. Wait, could it really be...

"Not one word," The little girl said in a high-pitched voice.

"Sam?" Dean guffawed, and his new thin body almost fell over at his large belly laugh.

"It was the closest thing, okay? You don't look so hot yourself," He retorted grumpily, crossing his little girl arms. "Come on, our purpose is to go and find Kevin, okay? So let's just do that."

...

Kevin opened the front door, to see two very different people standing there. One was a tall, skinny teenager with a red, irritated face, wearing a private school uniform and a shoulder bag. Next to him was a short little girl, who for some reason was standing in a strangely masculine way, her arms tucked behind her back and her legs spread shoulder width apart.

"Are you guys selling girl scout cookies or something?" Kevin said tiredly, wiping one of his gooey eyes. He'd been doing nothing but college apps for the past few days straight, and he was exhausted. The teenager pointed at the little girl and rudely laughed extremely loudly, and the small girl narrowed her eyes, faced the teen with square shoulders. "Shut the fuck up, Dean!"

"It's just too hilarious!" He wiped a tear from a dark brown eye. "Of all the people on the world..."

Kevin stood dumbstruck in the doorway. Who were these people? It had to be a coincidence that this kid's name was Dean too, wasn't it?

"Kevin, look, we need your help. We need to find out how to open up hell again." Dean turned to the stunned kid, trying to push the fact that Sam was now occupying a seven-year-old girl out of his mind.

Kevin backed away, reaching behind him to the squirt gun of holy water he kept on top of the shoe rack by the door. He whipped it out and instantly a stream of water splashed Sam and Dean, who blinked and wiped the water off of them.

"We're not demons," Sam said, cocking his head to the side. "It's me, Sam. And this is Dean." Kevin slammed the door hard in their faces and sprinted back into the house. Dean quickly kicked in the door, and the two of them sprinted after the teen.

"Get away from me! Dean and Sam are dead! I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not working for you!" Kevin screamed out, sprinting and quickly turning down the hallways until he finally burst down out his backdoor.

"Kevin, stop! We need to explain!" Dean hollered after him. Kevin tried to scramble over his backyard fence, but slid down and tried and failed a few more times. Dean and Sam finally caught up, cornering him, Dean puffing hard. Damn, this kid should get some more exercise.

"If you're here to kill me, just make it quick." Kevin squinted his eyes tight and turned away slightly.

"Kevin, we're not here to kill you." Sam laughed, taking Kevin's hand to help him up, but he frowned when he realized he wasn't strong enough in this body to help him up. "We need to explain."

Kevin scrambled to stand up, and he looked the two up and down several times. This made no sense to him. But for some reason he saw a little bit of his friends in these two random people, the way they stood, the way they looked at each other and at him.

The spotty teenager spoke up first. "It's true that we did die. But do you remember that day we went to hand off the tablet to Crowley?" Kevin nodded, still in a daze. But how in the world was it possible for this to be Sam and Dean? Unless they were demons, how were they able to possess people? He had almost pieced it together when Dean continued.

"Those two stars you saw? Those were meant for us. And now, the war in heaven is getting worse, and long story short-"

The little girl interrupted him. "We need to free Michael from the cage, or else they'll torture him until he turns into a sort of demon himself. We need you to help us, if the tablet says anything about opening hell again..."

Kevin slowly started to walk back to the house, pushing past the two people in his yard, a blank look on his face. The brothers exchanged a glance. They both understood; in retrospect, maybe they should have approached the topic more delicately. Sam grinned, and Dean laughed again. "Who's the tall one now?" He asked, picking Sam up by the armpits and swinging him around, and finally putting him back on the ground, were he wore a large frown.

"You're never going to let this one go, are you?" He frowned and crossed his arms. "Nope , never. Come on, let's go see what Kevin can dig up for us."

...

Kevin leafed through his notebook full of scribbles of the whole tablet translations, every so often looking up at Sam and Dean with a skeptical look. After a few quiet minutes filled with only the sound of turning pages, Kevin spoke up.

"There may be one thing we can try. The spell worked like this; by having a substance from Earth that was righteous and a substance from hell that was horrible, it showed that hell was not to plague earth anymore and be shut off forever. But I think if Michael can be considered good enough, he could possibly pass through again without opening all of hell."

He closed the book lightly and looked over the two pairs of stranger's eyes that looked at him. He looked a bit uncomfortable as he continued. "The seal works like this; there are two layers, one which is extremely thick and another that is thin. The thick one was created from final seal, of the heart of the survivor, while the thin layer is basically a filter between good and evil. So, if we can open the first one just a little, Michael should be able to pass through the good-evil barrier and escape. That is, if it's not too late and it cannot distinguish between him and a demon." He stopped and squinted his eyes, as if he would be able to look past the stranger's bodies and see his friends.

"Is it really you?" He asked softly, squinting his eyes even tighter. The two nodded simultaneously, and Sam spoke up. "I'm sorry if we frightened you at first. We probably should have approached that a little better." Kevin had a tiny smile on. What a Sam thing to say.

He suddenly stood up, the chair squeaking behind him. He reached out and squeezed the two into a hug. "I'm just glad you're okay." He said softly, and Dean and Sam realized how much it must have hurt him to realize they had died.

"It's all going to be okay. We can fix this," Sam said in his little girl voice, as Kevin pulled away. "Okay, that is pretty hilarious." Kevin finally broke into a smile, looking to Dean. "Yeah I know right!" Dean laughed, and Sam rolled his eyes. "Please. We're here to do business." The two older boys broke into laughter again. But they had a big task ahead of them. And they wouldn't be so lighthearted if they knew what was going on in heaven.

"How many are left?" Gabriel asked Samandriel, staring at the little boy with a great interest sparkling in his eyes as he interrogated him from the other side of a table. Samandriel looked different- he wore a blank expression, his hair was falling into his eyes, he seemed like he was looking through Gabriel.

"About two hundred. They want to attack Melchoir's next." He said monotonously.

"Good. Now tell me, where is Raphael?" Gabriel asked, bringing his hands together and drumming his fingertips.

"Heading the raid."

"Good. Go back to Castiel now, and tell him everything's fine." Gabriel reached out and patted the little boy's head of brown hair, and the kid did not cringe this time. He didn't even look like he acknowledged the gesture whatsoever. "Yes, Gabriel." He replied, blinking slowly.


	11. Tearing Me Apart

Kevin was behind the wheel of his mom's prius a they sped down the road, with Dean in the passenger's seat and tiny Sam sitting in the back. ('Do you need a carseat?' Dean had quipped, and Sam replied with a heavy stomp of his ballet-shoed foot onto Dean's dress shoes. 'Cas occupied a little girl once too, Dean!' He retorted sourly, as if that would help).

The car sped down the road, and it was like they had fallen into a different world. The blast radius had everything blackened, trees had fallen, everything was flattened and burnt and ashes kicked up from the breeze left behind from the fast-moving car.

Dean got a shiver down his spine as he looked at the surroundings, at the place he and his brother had died. He decided that after this, he never ever wanted to come back here.

"We need something pure if you want to cut open the seal. You can't rip through it all the way either, because you might tear the thin seal too. You might have to only go part way, and see if he can do the rest on his own." Kevin quickly explained, before they veered off road and the car jerked violently over gravel and pebbles of things left over from the blast. The car swung to a stop, spraying blackened junk that littered the ground as it did.

"Think this will work?" Sam asked, flashing the silver blade that had appeared out of nowhere. He was a much faster learner than Dean, who still needed that rush of adrenaline for his to appear.

Kevin looked momentarily surprised. "I keep forgetting that you're, you know..." Kevin still seemed a little weirded out by the new Winchesters. "I think that could work. Just try it."

They all climbed from the car, kicking up clouds of charcoally smoke as they walked. Dean scanned the area, amazed still that this was the result of them closing off hell. Especially being back on Earth with a pair of feet firmly planted on the ground and in a body, it was hard to believe any of that had really happened to him. Maybe this was all just some really long, really strange, alcohol induced dream.

"Hey, are you coming?" Kevin called after Dean, breaking his daydream. "Yeah, just hold on a second."

They all met in a circle, and Sam handed Dean his blade. "So, what exactly am I supposed to do?" He asked Kevin skeptically. He weighed Sam's blade in his hand; for looking so similiar, it felt so different in his palm. Maybe all angels had their own signature blades.

Kevin screwed up his eyebrows, deep in thought. "Some things just come to me. But with this, I'm sort of blanking. Try...maybe waving it around or something?"

Dean rolled his eyes and began flashing the blade around, feeling stupid. At this rate, Michael would probably become a devil twice over before they figured it out.

"C'mon, Dean. Put a little more thought into it," Sam scolded, brushing back a strand of long brown hair from his round face. Dean slowed down his movements, moving the blade as if he were painting, feeling for something.

Nothing seemed to be happening. Dean was ready to hand the blade back to Sam when he suddenly felt a tiny catch, and he had the largest epifany and rush of angelic learning that he'd ever had.

Wavelengths and frequencies. Dean's head felt close to bursting with all the new information that was suddenly pouring into it. Brain waves, radio waves, sound waves, light waves... Dean finally understood when Castiel had said "they're all just waves" as he'd listened into the police radio.

Noises and voices came from everywhere, the air was being criss crossed by all radio stations, ebbing and flowing like a fluid plaid pattern. He saw all types of light unfold before him; UV rays bounced off all material substances, he saw colors far off the spectrum of human eyes. Sam spoke, Dean saw the vibrating of his vocal chords and could pinpoint about fifteen different sound waves that escaped into the air. He saw the little girl's body and Sam's grace simutaneously, he looked to Kevin and saw his blood pumping, saw his digestion working, saw synapses firing in his brain which emitted their own waves into the air.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, tilting his head to the side. Dean somehow filtered out the information he was getting to just see what he wanted to see- the tiny incision he had already made to the thick seal, which existed on a different plane that he was only able to open if he looked at the frequencies.

He tried to open the seal a bit more, but the blade didn't seem to be working. Dean felt frusterated all over again, when Kevin suddenly spoke up, looking like something had occured to him. "It has to be from Earth. A substance from Earth was used in the original spell, it has to be the same," He said, looking up and squinting to the area that Dean kept poking around at. He strained his eyes to see something, but he was unable to see anything.

Dean snatched up Kevin's hand, which he held limp while Dean traced it in the air, trying to see if he, being from Earth, would be able to get a hold of it. Kevin haphazardly extended his fingers, feeling like one of those people who were blindfolded and forced to stick their hands in jars full of unknown substances. He shivered when just the very tip of his middle finger brushed the rough edge of the seal as he felt the tiny rip made by Sam's blade.

He subconsciously jerked his hand back, but Dean held it there by his wrist. "What the hell!" Kevin exclaimed when he felt the sense of touch even though his eyes saw absolutely nothing. "Just... I don't know! Pull on it or something!" Dean demanded, and Kevin screwed up his face as he felt the rough, sticky surface and made an even worse face when he slid his fingers into the tiny cut and pulled down, just enough for Dean to get a grip on it. "You might want to close your eyes," Dean warned Kevin quickly, as Sam rushed to the opening and jammed both of his hands inside as well. They both pulled outward as hard as they could, energy draining from themselves instantly.

...

_Meanwhile,_

"So, Andy." Gabriel said in a low voice, propping the little boy up on the chair and crouching beside him, looking into his face with twinkling hazel eyes. The kid stared straight ahead and blinked sleepily, his face absolutely flat and almost doll-like. "Give me the stats."

Papers were strewn all across the table. Maps had been drawn in great detail with arrows and numbers and plans written along the back, along with names of commanders and pretty much anything that could be helpful.

"One hundred sixty-two remain." Gabriel scratched the number down quickly. It was quiet inside the small room/tent, but din outside sometimes came in, people rushing around, yelling, booms came from far away.

"And Raphael?" He said, not even looking up from the paper. "Same as yesterday. Preparing B3 troops for attack on Melchoir."

"Now, why don't you update me on positions of troop A2?" "Westward leading, slow speed, consists of fourty-three. Possibility of merging with troop B1 by nightfall."

"Perfect," Gabriel said under his breath, crossing out and redrawing arrows. Abruptly, he set down the pen. Something was happening. Oh my god, were they really doing it? This soon too?

The archangel stood up quickly and did not say one word to Samandriel, but excused him with a curt motion of his hand. Dammit, the thing he had been dreading had finally come to pass. Might as well get it over with.

He sat down at the chair that had formerly seated Samandriel and shut his eyes tightly. He took in a sharp breath, and dove in, straight into the heart of the network. His body was instantly seized with pain and he fought to keep going. _Michael. Can you hear me? _

Gabriel could suddenly see his brother in his mind's eye as if he were staring at him from the ceiling. He screamed endlessly, letting out pulses of cries for help, his pain overriding the entire network. There was not one inch of free space, the place was packed so densely with black demons. They scratched and clawed through anything they saw, ripping out feathers, hair, flesh, anything they could get their ebony claws on. The angel looked like he wanted to reply but couldn't. He was chained down by the wrists and ankles, and splayed apart too. Without a vessel, they were able to not have to go through flesh and blood but could get directly to his grace, which looked bad already. It was skinned alive and looked like the scars had tried to heal, only to be torn open again. Scars upon scars upon scars thickened his whole body, some places chunks were missing, his blood never stayed inside his body for very long.

_They are opening the seal. But you are the only one who can help yourself. _He gave him the message quickly, being connected to the network for this long was already overwhelming and exhausting him. There was the tiniest glint of acknowledgement in his tormented eyes. He had just one primal motivation; break the bonds, and fly with the last of his strength just to get out of there. Gabe could see just the tiniest chink of light from far away, like a star in the sky. Gabriel quickly receded, the pain being too great, opening his eyes to a bland and empty room. He exhaled and got up, and exited the tent.

Wounded angels were rushing about, disappearing with the flaps of wings, or angels were throwing weapons from hand to hand as they'd sprint back to the battlefield. Gabriel passed through all of them, walking calmly, as he went to make his way down to the battlefeild. It was probably around a half a mile away, and an amazing tactical feat if Gabriel did say so himself. With their little weapon, he was able find out absolutely everything from the other side. They had pitched this one; attacking a group of angels first who were planning on ambushing them later today. Most of them had probably been slaughtered by now. But boy, when he got there, he'd clear the floor really quick.

Gabriel had been right. It was a fierce but quick battle; especially with Calcifer at the lead. The angel had insisted on heading the raid, and Gabriel couldn't turn him down, he'd always had a soft spot for those twins who he saw a lot of himself in. He saw that something was just a smidge off about him, but that was no matter. He'd liked that look of pure determination that shone bright behind those lovely golden eyes.

Castiel went along, but got more and more worried as the battle unfolded. They'd silently snuck through the trees, moving quickly and low to the ground. Calcifer was in the lead, and without hesitation lept and viciously slit across the first enemy again he saw. He had sprinted unnaturally fast to the next one, leaving his first victim before it had even hit the ground. Castiel's deep blue eyes flashed as he weilded his own weapon, running shoulder-to-shoulder with another, and helping in a team to take down a few that had rushed out at them. They clearly were not prepared this time, as the only whizzing of bullets could be heard receding from them and at the enemy.

Suddenly the woman that was by Cas's side was suddenly ran through, and Cas felt a deep tug down at the base of his heart as he whipped around to see one of the enemy directly behind him, its blade dug deep into the she-angel's back. Castiel thought quickly, and snatched the gun from his sister's limp hand and deflected the enemy's next blow with his own blade, before turning to look at the it. He cocked the gun and aimed right between the eyes of the angel's middle face, which was that of a goat, and fired with a tiny cringe. _Boom. _The bullet pierced his body and a pair of charred wings appeared on the ground. He looked briefly at the body before it was to be spirited away. Those rectangular goat eyes stared blankly through him, all three of his mouths (a goat, a lion and a raven's) agape just slightly. Castiel remembered when having numerous different animal parts had been beautiful, a sign of power and age. Now, he felt disgusted just looking at this creature. Why had this had to happen in the first place? Why couldn't they have felt emotion like he did?

He looked up just in time to see Calcifer create a gigantic barrier of snow with just a sweep of his arms, the snow seized up and made a wall like a wave. Sometimes it was hard for Castiel to remember how powerful Calcifer was because of the way he acted most of the time. Other angels started streaming into the hastily made shelter, but Calcifer was suddenly shot right through the shoulder. Castiel's head jerked backward in surprise when he saw it happen. The bullet had come out of nowhere, zipping right through Calcifer's shoulder and leaving his grace to burst out the other side.

Calcifer stopped in his tracks for half a second, before lunging quickly at his attacker. He sliced across his whole chest, but not deep enough to kill him. Cas knew right away that he'd done this on purpose. The tall young man ripped the gun from the trembling hand, that of an orangutan's. Castiel caught that crazy glint in his eye and felt his chest leap in fear. Calcifer steadied the gun on top of the middle of the creature's chest, which was that of a white horse's. The angel rasped in and out. Calcifer looked deep into its eyes and pulled the trigger of its own gun against him, with not so much of a flinch.

Cas had caught up to him, and grabbed him upper arm just as he was about to rush off to another enemy. Cal whipped his head back to look at him, and the fierceness that Gabriel had seen before had clearly crossed the line into crazy and obsessed.

"I'm fine! Let go!" He told Cas, trying to shake his grip by violently whipping his arm away.

"Stop. No, you're not." Castiel dragged him harshly to go behind the bank of snow he'd created. A few other angels were sniping from behind it, taking down anything that was trying to get toward them.

"Let me go back!" He said angrily, finally shaking the hand off. Castiel gripped the sides of his head and looked deep down into his eyes. "No." Calcifer bit his lip in frustration and tears started to well in his eyes, as he tried to look beyond Castiel to what was happening.

"I'm fine!" He said again in protest, and Cas looked down to see his shoulder. At least it had only zipped through and hadn't killed him. But there was a clear hole in his grace, and light was streaming out as silver blood poured out, it had already wicked into most of his shoulder.

"Look at you, Calcifer. You've already done well. Stop pushing yourself like this." The tear that had been brimming finally dropped from his eye. "You don't understand. I can't stop. I don't want to stop until every single one is dead." He said the last word through gritted teeth. Castiel reached around and hugged his brother, pulling his head into his chest and putting a palm on the back of his head. Calcifer let him for a second, before struggling to pull away.

"It gets better. Just be patient. You can't lose yourself like this." Castiel tried to tell him, but he got that look of complete irritation and frustration on his face again. "How would you know? The only people you've ever loved are perfectly fine." He hissed, looking away. Castiel didn't say anything as he reached out to gingerly touch the commander's shoulder and poured a little bit of energy into healing the shattered hole. Calcifer sighed deeply, leaning with his back to the snowbank, as if he finally realized how much his shoulder really hurt. He seemed to calm down a little bit. _ I guess you're right. _He sent the thought out, as if he didn't want to say it aloud. That was just fine with Cas.

Castiel felt a sharp tug on his heart and looked to his right; the angel who had been sniping crumpled, and quickly vanished. Cas saw just the edge of one of the enemy's shoulder, and he leapt out, stabbing deep into its chest, and it was killed quickly. But it had been too late. Cas looked down in horror to see it had been holding a Lev gun, and he felt a piercing line of pain on top of his ribcage. He lifted his coat to see the damage. Thank god the bullet had only grazed him, leaving an ugly dark black horizontal line on top of his ribcage. The bullet had exploded in a tarry bloom harmlessly in the snow.

Then, all the angels perked up as they felt the same occurance. Hell was being opened. Castiel didn't even have to think twice before hurling himself toward earth, knowing that his friends would not be able to return on their own. He caught just a glimpse from Calcifer, an apprciative glance that seemed to say 'thanks for not letting me run myself into the ground'. Castiel was gone before he could acknowledge it back, but knowing that he had helped made him happy. He only hoped it would not get worse. It was hard to rationalize with someone who felt they had nothing to lose. He couldn't forget that cold, crazy murderous look that glinted in his eyes as he killed that angel in cold blood with its own gun.

...

Sam and Dean ripped downward and outward at the protective layer that they had worked so hard to put in place. Right away, the stench and feel of evil immediately poured out and filled the air. Kevin sheilded his eyes from the deep black streaming from the tear. Sam pulled it larger with all his strength, and he shed his little girl body, which collapsed unconcious to the ground, as he grew tall and big again as he returned to his normal form, letting out beams of bright light. Dean felt the body he was occupying fall off of him easily as well, as Sam had retracted his own blade and they were both pulling as hard a they could, the light from their graces reaching very far and burning very bright, as they watched the tear as they both pulled it apart with all their strength.

Inside, a shiny white veil-like seal could be seen, appearing somewhat flexible and permeable. Sam and Dean felt themselves getting weaker as they felt thousands and thousands of demons near, as well as from all the energy they were expending just to keep the thing open. The demons had seen the opening and tried to free themselves, pushing and prodding against the curtain in a mass of ugly, demonic pushing and shoving, with so many it looked like boiling water. They weren't sure how much longer they could hold it open, when they saw the only white light begin to surface from deep, deep within the evil and pitch black.

The angel shot up like a rocket, ripping demons apart as he tore and forced himself upwards, leaving silver-blood stained feathers behind. Even from far away, Dean could tell Michael had been roughed up pretty badly, he looked like something that had been put in the blender wasn't completely liquidized yet. Slices covered every inch of his body, which could be seen even from this far away.

The brothers felt their energy sapping out even quicker now, and with a huge burst of light, the tortured angel was able to burst out on torn and tattered wings just seconds before the seal forced itself closed again, quickly knitting together and reasealing its wound. Dean and Sam were thrown backwards, and they were still where they lay, being completely sapped of energy.

The fleeing archangel now knew he was out of hell, which had been the sole motivation to push himself beyond the limit of strength that he knew he could go to. Feeling he was out, he collapsed mid-flight, leaving a gigantic scar on the ground as he impacted and slid deep into the dirt. The man's face was handsome, with a sharp jawline and facial features looking like they'd been carved out of marble by someone brilliant in the renaissance. Now his face looked pained and fearful, his cheek smudged with dirt from his fall. His wings looked like they had once been beautiful, but now the six of them looked like they had seen better days. All of them were a pure white with an unmistakeable silver sheen, but many, many feathers were missing, and even chunks of skin were missing, leaving unsightly silvery bald spots. His remaining feathers were tweaked and dirty, and one of his wings was broken, poking out at an awkward angle like a peice of crumpled paper.

The ground rumbled, and again the blackened ground was illuminated with pure white, lighting up the entire sky.

Kevin had fallen to his knees, his eyes shut tight and protected tightly by his arms. When he felt the ground finally stop shaking and he felt the heat leave his back, he finally opened his eyes to look around. The gangly teenager and little girl lay unconcious on the ground, and Kevin got up and brushed his pants from the ash.

_The news crews will get a load out of this_, he thought to himself as he went to drag the kids back to his car and drop them off at the nearest hospital. Oh, Sam and Dean. Angels or not, they'd never change.

...

Dean slowly opened his eyes. He knew he wasn't lying in some field on earth anymore, and he vaguely remembered that he had passed out, and somehow been brought back here.

He felt a familiar grace next to him; he turned slightly to look. He saw a tuft of jet black hair and a pale, familiar face. Castiel. But something felt wrong, Dean could feel that his friend was growing weaker.

He turned to his side to get a better look, and he saw a mist of white flowing from Castiel into him. He felt a jolt of shock and tried to wave it away, but his fingers passed right through. "Cas, stop it! You're killing yourself!" He pleaded, hating that he was the one making Castiel weaker. He then suddenly caught scent of something and felt a rush of nausea like a punch to the stomach.

He quickly rolled off their bed and saw why; Cas was bleeding a gooey, tar-like black, a huge stain had already spread and soaked into most of the mattress. Castiel opened his deep blue eyes slowly when he felt that Dean had moved.

"Dean," He called out weakly, coughing. The misty white stream slowed and finally stopped. Dean fought back the vicious nausea he got from the poison and came to Cas's bedside.

"What the hell happened?" He asked, and his fright leaked through into his words.

"It only grazed me. I thought there was no immediate concern. I needed to heal you after you'd freed Michael." He replied softly, it almost annoyed Dean how calmly.

"You spent all your energy to heal me?" He asked in an accusatory tone, and Castiel nodded weakly.

"Cas, you stupid son of a bitch!" Dean cried angrily, but his actions were contradictory when he was as gentle as possible in helping him stand up off the bed.

Dean physically retched when he pulled Cas up and the sticky poison pouring from Cas's ribcage pulled slowly away from the bed, like when a caramel is pulled apart.

"We need to get you help," Dean said in a low voice, letting Cas lean on him heavily, even though the poison started to wick into his clothes and it made his head spin.

In his panic he was able to think more clearly for some reason; he was able to scan all of heaven in a few seconds, searching for Adam. He especially knew it had to be his half-brother's from the hellish glow that surrounded his heaven, the shield that was keeping the enemy angels away.

Dean spread his dark butterscotch wings as wide as they could go, closed his eyes, hoped, and flew.

His eyes snapped open, and there they were at Adam's front door. Dean reached out with a shaking hand to ring the doorbell, an action he knew would have Adam jumping in fear inside.

The white door was quickly swung open to reveal Adam's tired and anxious face. It lit up just a tiny bit when he saw his eldest brother.

"Dean!" He cried, rushing forward and giving him a hug. "What's the matter? What happened? The angels here started talking about you two a lot, but they refused to tell me anything-"

Dean shouldered Cas and looked into his friend's face, which was pale and drained of most blood. Adam's face dropped when he saw.

"I don't know how it got this bad. He said it only nicked him, but he doesn't look good at all..." Dean explained, stepping into the house as Adam quickly took off Cas's Leviathan-soaked trench coat and sat him down on the closest bed in the living room. Adam ripped part of his shirt to see the wound, which while they looked it bubbled and oozed out a great deal of tar. Dean curled up and retched, but having not eaten since he'd died, nothing came out. The poison made him queazier than anything he'd ever experienced in life, even airplane flying.

"Dean, you're not going to like this." Adam said gravely as he dug around in his toolbox.

"What? Is he going to be okay?" Dean thought back to what Calcifer had said to him; once an angel's gone, they're gone forever. He _really_ didn't want to lose Cas.

"I think so. But because he left it alone and because he expended most of his energy on something, the poison has gone much deeper than it should have. We'll have to carve it."

Dean didn't like the sound of that. "He spent his energy on me, dammit! And now look what happened!" Dean had to avoid Adam's gaze. If Cas died, he'd carry that blame forever. He _couldn't_ die.

"Is it painful?" Dean asked softly, his stomach twisting in knots. "I'm not going to lie, it's very painful." Adam placed a wooden bit into Castiel's mouth, which the dark-haired angel weakly opened just enough to get it in. Dean got one look at the tool Adam was about to use, and he didn't even think twice as he grabbed Cas's limp hand tightly.

"I'm right here, Cas. I'm not going to leave, okay?" Cas barely nodded, looking so pitiful with those weary eyes and that bit in his mouth. He was breathing shallowly, his blue eyes half-closed and his wings shuffling slightly, he looked like a little bird who had slammed full speed into a glass window.

Adam brought the angel-blade scalpel up to Cas's ribcage, where the wound was. "I'm going to do this as fast as I can, okay? I'm sorry," Adam said the last two words as he gritted up his teeth and swiftly punctured the angel's side, tearing down and carving out the area tainted with poison. Cas screamed out, it was only slightly muffled by the wood. He squeezed Dean's hand tightly, and Dean tried to squeeze reassuringly back, but wondered if he even felt it. Adam was working as fast as he could, but it almost looked like a substance that was extremely hard to cut, as he sawed, ripped, and tugged to try and cut the affected area out entirely. Cas screamed even louder, tears had started to stream from his eyes, as he tried to shy away from the blade and into Dean, squeezing his hand harder and harder. Cas was in so much pain that Dean could feel some of it himself through the network they shared. The wall behind them and the floor underneath their feet popped loudly with a large crack, which began splintering quickly toward the far wall. With a boom, all the windows in a twenty foot diameter shattered. Wallpaper started to peel and rip from the walls, and the lamps and light overhead began flaring brightly. A circular breeze started to pick up, Dean felt it rustle through his hair.

Dean wrapped his free arm around Cas's shoulder, holding him still for Adam. "I'm not leaving you. I'm right here," Dean told him softly, hoping that he heard him through all the pain. Adam was almost done, and he ripped the last bit connecting the grace, and quickly collected the poisoned lump of grace into a steel box, snapping the lid closed harshly and turning all the locks.

Cas collapsed into Dean's chest, shutting his eyes tightly, breathing heavily as beads of sweat rolled down his temples. Everything stopped, and the house was filled with a nice absence of noise. Dean gently pulled the wood from his mouth and put it aside, and he slowly unwound his fingers from Cas's now limp hand, which had been a death grip before.

"It's all over, Cas. You're going to be fine." Castiel still didn't open his eyes, as he breathed heavily and was clearly trying to slow it down as he gulped at the air hungrily. Dean looked down and noticed Cas's grace was swirling at three times the normal speed, prodding and searching and swirling around the empty chunk like fish competing for food.

"Thank you for staying." He said on exhale, still not opening his eyes. Dean didn't even want to imagine what going through that first hand must have been like.

"Why would I leave?" He asked softly. "But I'm telling you, don't ever do something that stupid again." Dean suddenly remebered that Sam had told him basically the same thing after he'd gotten those burns. Now he understood his brother's frustration. Cas looked sad.

"I'm sorry that I made you angry. I was only trying to help, I'm sorry, I did not know the infection would spread this much...I'm so-"

"Cas, stop apologizing to me. I'm not angry at you."

Castiel finally opened his eyes, which were washed with tears from the carving, and looked at Dean. "Thank you for taking me here," He said so softly that it was almost hard to hear. He still did not look well enough to stand up, so they stayed there, Cas's head resting heavily on Dean's chest, until Adam came back. Dean, for some strange reason he could not comprehend, felt a very strong urge to run his hands through that jet black hair. He quickly fought it back, refusing to move either of his hands. _Don't be ridiculous, _he scolded himself.

When he felt that Castiel was ready, Dean gently helped Castiel to his feet. Cas swayed just a tiny bit, but steadied himself and was okay.

Adam came back, and without saying anything came up and gave Dean a huge hug. "Oof!" Dean let out as the kid knocked into him.

"Stay safe, okay? Promise me?" He asked in a fearful voice, looking up at his brother with those light blue eyes. "I don't want to see you back here until after the war is over."

"I'll try my best, okay Adam?" The teenager nodded and pulled away from the hug.

"Dad would have been proud of you. I'm proud of you."

Adam finally smiled, lighting up his weary face. With that Dean spread his wings again and flew back to their little tent.

Right when they arrived, Castiel sheepishly began clearing the sticky black sheets from the bed. He was purposely avoiding Dean's gaze, and Dean knew it. "Okay, Cas. What's going on?"

Castiel bunched the sheets up and pressed his lips together. He looked exhausted from the operation, and was hunched just slightly over his missing piece.

"I do not want you to be angry with me again," he said softly.

"Just tell me, please. I won't get mad, I promise."

Castiel paused, looking at the black poison on the sheets with downcast eyes.

"I have not been looking after Samandriel as well as I should have. Gabriel had been overworking him, but I was so concerned with watching over you two on earth, and then there was a battle, and I got injured... it escaped my notice..." He looked like a guilty dog after they'd ripped up half the sofa.

"What do you mean overworked? What happened?" Dean asked.

Castiel completely avoided his look now, turning away. "I don't know. Every day. I'm not sure for how long, hours maybe. He wouldn't stop until he got all the information. Maps, locations of troops, numbers, everything." Dean knew that this would definitely not rest well with a certain someone.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked, and simultaneously he heard a crash outside and yelling voices. Dean and Cas rushed to peek outside and see what was happening.

Sam was holding Samandriel tightly with one arm, and in the other he wielded his blade.

"No, you stay away from him!" Sam yelled to Gabriel, twisting to shield the child away from the archangel. He still looked a bit void of energy, dark circles tainted his usually bright eyes. "Can't you see what you've done to him? How could you, Gabe? He's your family!"

Gabriel strode up dangerously close to Sam. "We've all made sacrifices, Sam. What, you don't think killing my own brother is enough? We've lost so much more than one tiny angel!"

"Fuck you!" Sam spat, clutching Samandriel tightly. Dean picked up easily on Gabriel's thoughts; had anyone but Sam said that, he would have lunged right there. But he figured that he somewhat deserved it after all the shit he'd put Sam through. And he liked Sam, just not right now.

Dean noticed a difference in Samandriel, his eyes were vacant, and for the cuddly kid he usually was, he was strangely stiff in Sam's arms.

"Keep it down or you'll wake Michael!" Gabreil hissed, giving Sam a death glare.

"Fine. I was just leaving." Sam said coldly, and when he saw Dean he motioned for him to come with him with a tiny beckoning nod. Dean felt torn for a second; he really didn't want to get on Gabe's bad side, but he needed to be with Sam. Was it even a question? He followed his brother out into the snow, jogging to catch up and stride next to him.

Sam looked extremely angry. "What happened?" Dean asked, but he could basically infer what had happened. Samandriel could basically be a porcelain doll for all the emotions he was feeling at the moment.

"I can't believe he could do that to him. He's just a little kid, Dean. And _every single day, _drilling him, refusing to stop, he just..." Dean looked up to see tears sparkling in Sam's eyes, and he knew that look. It was a look often seen on his own face, the big brother look.

"I know." He replied, and they saw a hazy heaven approaching them in the woods. Dean could tell it wasn't someone that he knew.

"This is the only thing I could think to try," Sam said sadly, as they stepped through the barrier, and Dean's eyes met Alfie's.

Samandriel blinked slowly, but began to stir, looking as if there was a battle being fought within himself. Finally, he wriggled out of Sam's arms and ran to Alfie.

He barreled into Alfie's legs and hugged them tight, and he started to cry.

"Alfie! I'm so, so sorry! I was the one who pushed you down, I was the one who killed you..." The little boy buried his face into the teenager's legs. Alfie did look somewhat surprized at seeing what Samandriel looked like in his true form. I guess he was expecting something a little less vulnerable, a little more powerful.

"It's okay, buddy. At least I know it was for something good." Samandriel reached up for a hug, biting his lips as his eyes watered. Alfie reached down and picked him up by the armpits, and the baby angel instantly wrapped his former vessel into a giant hug.

"It was so scary. It didn't feel like me," He said in a tiny voice as he buried his face into Alfie's shoulder. Alfie wrapped his arms around the little angel and smiled. "I thought you'd look different. Maybe bigger," He said with a small smile.

Samandriel sniffled and looked into his face. "Did you think I acted like a grown-up?"

"You did. You're very smart and kind." The two hugged for a while, and Alfie had a small smile on his face. "I'm so sorry," The little angel whispered again. Alfie shook his head slowly and then lay his chin on top of the mass of soft dark brown hair. "Don't. It's okay." They both didn't speak as they only allowed themselves to shed one last tear.

"You should go, Samandriel. There is still some work for you to do," The teen said, pulling the small white-winged angel off of him gently.

"I know," He sniffled. Alfie gently placed him back on the ground, where he did a spin and looked right at Sam. Sam knelt down and opened his arms wide, and Samandriel ran as fast as he could into them. Sam wrapped him up and spun in a tiny circle, light dancing behind his eyes again. "Oof! There you are," He laughed, hugging the small kid who Dean knew he considered to be his baby brother, and Samandriel cuddled him right back, like he usually did. Sam kissed him on the hair that coated his forehead and tucked a strand behind his ear. "You're okay now? Are you feeling alright?"

The little boy nodded and buried his face into Sam's chest. "Please don't leave me with him again. It was so scary, It wasn't me." He said in a tiny voice, which was muffled by Sam's shirt. "It's okay now, I'm here." They stepped out of the heaven and back into the freezing cold, heading back to camp. Sam would probably come into Dean's tent now, and try to avoid confronting Gabriel for as long as possible.

Dean looked up at Sam, and Sam instantly picked up on Dean's worry. "What's the matter?" He piped up, turning his eyes to Dean now.

"It's Cas. You should have seen him." Sam was able to seamlessly pick up on the memory and see what had happened. "I just, I'm afraid. I don't want anyone I care about getting hurt," Dean admitted. Sam looked up at him with his typical innocent blue eyes.

"We just got Michael out, right? I'm sure everything is going to be over soon. And with two archangels, maybe we won't even have to fight." Dean knew right away that he didn't believe that last part one bit.

"You're right. I should stop worrying." Dean replied anyway, as he tucked his hands deep into his coat pockets. Damn, it was getting cold out here. It felt like it was getting colder and colder everyday. But, with the deep of winter, there always had to be a spring, right? _Then again, this isn't Earth. _Dean exhaled, his breath puffing almost opaque in the freezing air. What a strange world he'd been thrust into. But he refused to believe that things would continue to go downhill. For once in his life, he felt just a tiny bit optimistic. After everything he'd done, was it wrong to wish for a happy ending?

* * *

**Hello everyone! I wanted to seriously thank everyone for the reviews! (I haven't been putting an author's note on every chapter because they basically all say the same thing, but seriously thanks!) Without you guys, I doubt I would have continued this story, and yet now I get new ideas that just pour into my head practically everyday. Where the heck do they even come from? I don't know! But I like having such a crazy active imagination. Please keep reviewing! I am not lying when I say that my heart skips a beat whenever I see a new review, and when I open it and see what it says its like opening tiny little presents! Thank you everyone for reading, even if you don't review. I can't wait to finish this story and have you guys see what I have in store for you. Thanks again~!**_  
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	12. A Revelation

Gabriel came back into his tent, sinking down in exhaustion in the chair that he'd dragged over to sit by Michael's bedside. He felt heavy; heavy from all the responsibility put on his shoulders, heavy from the guilt of things that he'd done to the people he loved. He sighed softly and looked into his brother's face.

He probably would consider Michael his closest brother, and he'd hated that they'd had a falling out. He really wanted to take the chance to finally make amends with him. He missed having an older brother; and he was dog tired of always being one.

The man looked awful; his face was frowning just slightly, as he slept very shallowly. Deep gashes crisscrossed his body, a few that Gabe had tried to heal and they were a bit shallower than when he'd first arrived. His wings were not the beautiful, sleek and powerful ones Gabriel remembered, but they were tattered and wrecked, balded in more places than not, every feather remaining still was tweaked and messied, despite Gabriel's best efforts.

He reached out now out of habit and sent a tiny burst of energy to heal his older brother, something he'd been doing every few minutes as he sat there, waiting to see at least a little stir or flutter of an eyelid, which he finally got this time.

Michael's eyes were lovely; right up in the ranks with Calcifer's gold ones. They were sharp and bright, with that gemstone like quality seen on most angels. They were a deep emerald, and it hit Gabriel how his coloring was a variation of Dean's, with the dark golden hair and green eyes. However, Dean's were much more natural, earthy colors from the shining celestial ones, but there was no mistaking the similarities.

"There you are, Micky." Gabriel said, smiling slightly as he looked into his older brother's face. He felt like he hadn't seen it in forever.

Michael opened his eyes laborously only halfway, and blinked slowly. "I thought I told you to never use that nickname," He said quietly, smiling weakly just a tiny bit.

"You know, most people would just say thank you," Gabriel laughed as he swung his chair around to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the backrest. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, just spiffing." Michael said sarcastically, readjusting all his wings so they were in the least painful positions. Gabriel grinned. Wow, he'd missed him.

"Think you'll be alright?" He asked, assessing his damage for the hundreth time. He really looked like he'd been through the ringer, as Gabe looked over his thick scars and countless wounds and gashes.

"Yeah." He replied tiredly, deciding to roll over onto his stomach as he sighed and stretched out his pitiful wings, then folded them tenderly together again. He hugged a pillow to his chest and looked at Gabe with a sideways glance.

"I was so close, you know." He said in the smallest voice. "To turning." He closed his eyes. There was a beat of silence as the two still felt a bit anxious over the extremely close call.

"Well, you have Sam and Dean to thank for that." Gabe replied to fill the heavy silence. Michael arched his eyebrow and gave Gabriel a look.

"I could bring them in here if you'd like to thank them in person." He somewhat joked, knowing Michael was too prideful to have anyone but Gabriel see him in his current state. However, he looked genuinely confused.

"_The_ Dean and Samuel? But, how...?" Gabriel remebered that he completely forgot to fill Michael in about everything that was going on. He _did_ just wake up.

"Would you like to talk to them?" Gabriel asked sincerely this time, he wondered if his brother would want to see for himself what the 'meat puppets' had become. No doubt he'd be impressed.

Michael rolled over with an exasperated sigh, putting his back to Gabriel. "No, Gabe. I really wouldn't like to see them. I'd hate me if I were them. Look at everything I've done." He refused to even look at Gabe as feelings of guilt permeated the air. He breathed in deeply, and Gabriel lightly touched the worst-looking wing and shot off a little bit of healing energy again.

"Am I a bad person, Gabe?" He asked in a small voice, still refusing to look his brother in the eye. Gabriel paused. "Depends. Do you _still_ want to start the apocalypse?"

Michael turned and gave Gabriel a look that said 'really?' "_Fuck_ no." He exclaimed, being more aware of his wounds as he said it. "I...I regret everything that I've done." He looked away, guilty. Wow, he'd been such an asshole.

"You got me there," Gabriel said, feeling Michael's guilt mix with his own. "You should have seen the things I've done." He reached out and healed Michael just a little more, continuing to talk. "I...I had to make a choice. I'm still not even sure if it was the right one. Sam hates me. _I_ hate me. I wish there had been a better way, but..." Just saying it aloud made it that much more real to Gabriel. Sam's insults still echoed in his mind. He was completely right, of course. But it was not like he could take it back.

"Samandriel, huh?" Michael tried out the name on his tongue. "I would have done the same thing, Gabriel."

"That doesn't mean it's right," Gabriel said, still angry at himself. Michael sat still, thinking.

"If you just talk to him...here. If you talk to Samandriel, I'll... I'll talk to Sam. And Dean." It looked like it pained Michael it say it, but he was determined to start anew.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "Wow, Micky, really turning over a new leaf, are you?" Michael actually grinned in his first real smile, rolling his emerald eyes.

Gabriel got up, ready to get Sam and Dean. It would probably be best for all of them to talk it over, try to maybe forgive and forget. But he needed to keep his end of the deal. He doubted Sam would even let him anywhere near Samandriel in the first place, and after everything he doubted the kid would so much as look at him before screaming and running away. Gabriel sighed. He had to get the upper hand and in turn save his whole family, but at the same time that was hurting one member of his family. He still was dreading talking to the brothers when he approached their tent.

"Dean? Sam? Michael's awake. He'd like to talk to you."

"Well, I'm not so damn keen on talking to him." Dean immediately quipped back, looking up at Gabriel with challenging eyebrows. Michael and Dean were so very much alike, no wonder he had been his true vessel. "He wanted to use me and Sam to literally murder most of the people on Earth? Ring any bells?"

Gabriel looked in at Dean, not amused. "Please give him a chance."

"We got him out of hell, that's not enough for the bastard?" Dean continued, and he smiled internally when he saw how much it irritated Gabriel, who stood outside and locked his teeth together, his jaw protruding just slightly.

"Fine." Dean finally said, throwing his hands up and shuffling his wings in irritation. "Let's go, Sam."

Sam looked up at Dean with tired eyes. "Dean, you didn't do anything to him. I was the one who pulled him into hell." Dean looked at Sam for a second. He hated thinking about that time in his life. But if there was any perfect time to talk to Michael, it would be now when he was too weak to do anything. "Let's go." He said again, hoping Sam understood what he was trying to get across.

Sam gave Samandriel's head of hair a sweet, reassuring rub, as if to say 'we'll be right back'. He sighed as he stood up to follow Gabriel to the tent that Michael was resting in, and Gabriel gave them a sharp look. "Don't try anything funny. And don't be rude. Sam, you of all people should know what its like to get out of hell. And he had it much worse than you." He nodded for them to go inside, as he stood watch from outside, not wanting to interfere.

Dean and Sam stepped in hesitantly, and Dean shielded Sam with his body as they stood as close to the entrance as they could. Dean narrowed his light green eyes, staring down the angel who had tried to start the apocalypse, stolen Adam away from them again once they had finally been reunited, the one who did horrible things in order to get him to say yes. He didn't want to get even one inch closer to him, as feelings of disgust crept up in his chest.

"If you so much as touch one hair on Sam's head I will end you." Dean threatened the archangel in a dangerously passionate voice, not letting Sam move any closer to the wounded angel, keeping his little brother shielded behind his back.

"That is not why you are here, Dean." The angel said weakly, staring up at them with his deep emerald eyes. He looked extremely vulnerable; he was flat on his stomach, with too many wounds to count, and six stacked wings that were absolutely ripped apart. The handsome man sighed and continued. "I wanted to apologize."

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes angrily. "A little too late for that, don't you think?" He retorted, glancing at the corner of the room, getting so angry that he couldn't even bring himself to look into the angel's face. "Why would you apologize to me? You ruined Adam and Sam's lives, not mine. In fact, I don't buy any of your bullshit. Now you suddenly feel bad? Oh, please." Dean curled and uncurled his fists, trying to keep from retracting his blade. "You stay away from me and my brother."

"I'm not saying I didn't deserve it. I did. Every second of it." The archangel paused, and Sam and Dean felt that he really believed those words. "And I wanted to thank you for getting me out." There was a pause as the air was so tense one could cut it with a knife.

"Yeah, well. That wasn't for you. That was so we wouldn't have to deal with two devils." Dean said, trying to calm himself down. Something about finally confronting Michael just made him so angry. It was as if Michael could be a perfect scapegoat for anything and everything that went wrong in his life.

Meanwhile, Sam observed the angel and felt astonished. It was like he was looking at his own soul when he'd got out in physical form. He also was remembering, remembering everything Michael had done for him and Adam when they had been down in the cage.

He'd tried to protect them. Whenever Lucifer tried to rip them apart, he'd try to distract the devil so that they could escape. He spent a lot of time battling with him and trying to leave Adam and Sam in peace. As he got more and more wounded, the more compassionate he became toward the humans trapped in there with him. Once he had even expended some of his energy to try and heal them, just a little bit, just to make their pain a little bit less.

Sam looked at the archangel with understanding eyes. He didn't think he was a bad person. At least, not anymore. "I'm just glad we got you out in time." Sam replied, and Dean whipped around and gave him a look. "Sam." He said angrily. Sam shrugged, and Dean let out a puff of air. "We're done here. Let's go."

"Please." Michael called out weakly. "I'm not asking you to like me. I'm asking you to believe me." Dean had had enough for the day. He was beginning to lead Sam out of the tent, when he was almost ran over by Calcifer.

"Gabe." Calcifer slid to a stop and looked up with panicked eyes. "Oh, fuck. Gabe." He motioned for him from outside the tent.

"Spit it out, Calcifer." Gabriel said, fear of the worst coming up in his chest like bile.

Calcifer spoke quickly and with fear. "I didn't see it coming, he'd said A2 was slow moving, but they've changed directions, oh god, oh god." He took in a sharp breath. "They took him, Gabe. They found out he'd been tapping in, there's so little of them left they felt the difference, they-"

"Where are they?" Gabriel said, dangerously low.

"I tried to fight back, but one knocked me out, I don't know how, and then Samandriel _chose_ to go with them, oh shit, if they turn him-"

"Calcifer! Where are they?" Gabriel demanded, shaking the young man's shoulders.

"They left. North, I...I don't know!"

Gabriel pushed by, breaking into a sprint. He chose to leave with them? Why would they take him, now of all times?

Gabriel's heart started beating faster and faster, and he felt his blade slip into his hand. Hell no, they were not going to take his baby brother.

He was only able to find them through the little angel, but his connection was fading fast. What were they doing to him?

Gabriel strobed in and out as he transported rapidly, each time getting closer and closer to the kid as he hit the ground running. He found them: four of them, gathered around in a circle around the little boy. The unconscious kid was sprawled in eagle wings, with a sharp talon at his forehead. Gabriel sprang without hesitation, swiftly killing one of the four. The other three quickly drew their blades, pushing the one with Samandriel behind them. Gabe caught a glimpse, and that was enough to understand what was happening.

He saw the two networks clearly within the child, they glowed with the two strikingly different lights; sharp, steely and cold, versus a candle-like, warm and fuzzy light. As the talon pulled upwards, the pro-apocalypse piece began to swell up unnaturally, inflating like a balloon and crowding out the other.

"You're not fucking taking him!" He yelled, slashing powerfully at one of the angels but only grazing him.

"It's not cooperating," the angel with Samandriel in its clutches said coldly, its voice chilling Gabriel to the core. He watched as the little angel fought back, pushing the warm light with all his strength, the tiny flicker that was left struggling to push back.

Gabriel's eyes met those of a tiger's, cold and completely void of compassion.

"If we can't have him, no one can." It threatened Gabriel directly. Gabriel lashed out with anger and ran through the angel he had spoken, but it was not enough. There were still two more, and they had opened it. The wormhole to the Abyss.

It was a mysterious part of the universe, the part that things were to be tossed if they couldn't be recycled into the Internal Grace, things so awful and vile that they'd act as the bad apple and spoil all of it. This was where they intended to expel Lucifer's grace once he'd been killed. No one, with maybe the exception of God himself, knew what happened to material once it went through the Abyss. Maybe it turned to absolutely nothingness.

"No!" Gabriel screamed out, feeling his heart drop in his chest as the unconscious Samandriel was shoved into the opening wormhole. Gabriel dove in headfirst right after him, wrapping the little boy tightly in his arms. He pressed his wings in close to his body to streamline them, and quickly pushed with all of his strength to rocket out of the swiftly collapsing hole.

Why would they throw him here instead of just killing him? Gabriel pushed his energy as far as he could in order to make it back through. It suddenly hit him like a pound of bricks, he made all the connections in seconds. It was a trap, their plan B, if converting the kid didn't work.

They knew Gabriel would follow his family right down, and getting rid of the commander and leaving an extremely wounded archangel and very unstable other leader in charge, they could quickly wipe out that whole branch of their military. The two remaining branches, Velias and Mechoir's, would then swiftly be divided and overtaken.

Gabriel gave it one last push, the hole was so tiny now, so close to closing...

He ripped through the opening, and as it closed up completely it sealed up and carved deeply into one of his feet that had been the last to exit the quickly imploding hole. He could feel that a tiny bit of grace had been torn away. That had been a very, very close shave.

Now, Gabriel was just pissed. He exploded out of the opening, hard, and felt two doubles appear and rip the two remaining angel's graces apart. When they had been killed, the doubles fizzled out. He was completely drained of energy now. Gabriel eyeballed it and guessed they had to be about a mile away from camp, but there was no way he could transport back now. He thought about sending out a call for help.

_No_. This was his penance, he needed to punish himself after the thing he had done. He'd just have to rough it. He took his first steps, limping as he dragged his injured foot in the snow, silver blood dripping and melting the snow.

He had gone quite a while before Samandriel started to come to. Gabriel looked inside and saw that the swelling was going down, as his normal network was beginning to take over again. His head began to bob just slightly as he began to come to his senses, and it was hard fighting against that cold-lighted network and trying to stay awake against the rhythmic lolling of Gabriel's walk as he limped back to camp.

Gabriel felt the kid tense up just the slightest when he was aware of his old and powerful grace, but then he relaxed again. He blinked and looked into Gabriel's face with those wide, childish eyes.

"Hey, Andy." Gabriel said lightly, as the kid went to rest his head against the archangel's chest. "How do you feel?"

"Scared." The little boy replied in a small voice. "But I'm not scared of you anymore. Because you saved me."

Gabriel felt his heart leap in his chest. So he remembered.

"Andy, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll never hurt you like that again. I lost sight of what was really important and I became a monster. Truth is? I'm scared too. I'm terrified that I have to kill Raphael. And that lead me to make stupid decisons, it lead me to hurt people I love."

"I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me." Gabriel finished, and he didn't even realize that tears had come to his eyes. The little kid reached up and wiped one away with a small finger.

"I forgive you," He said, and wrapped his arms around his older brother's neck gently. Dammit, he hadn't been this choked up in a long, long time.

"Why?"

"Because you're a good person. Because I told you I wanted to help." Samandriel began to nod sleepily. It had taken so much inner strength to fight off being overtaken. "Because you only wanted to save everyone."

Gabriel smiled and hugged the little head of hair to his chest. What a good boy. What an angelic, good, sweet little boy. Damn, this kid deserved so much more credit. "You're my brother and I love you, Samandriel." More tears spilled down Gabriel's cheeks as he held the little kid close. This war had worn him so thin, some little kid was making him cry. He laughed through his tears. If Michael could see him now, he'd probably laugh his ass off.

...

Sam had been pacing back and forth with long strides, too dumbstruck to leave the tent when he'd received the news. "I shouldn't have left him alone. Not after we've found out what he's worth." He held his forehead and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

"Sam, it's not your fault." Dean repeated for about the fifth time, but he felt like it had no effect on his fretting brother.

"Samuel, Gabriel will try his utmost best to get him back. The only person who knows him better then himself is me." Michael piped up, for some reason trying to comfort Sam as well.

"Would you shut up?" Dean shot at the archangel. He wished he could just have five minutes, just them two, where he could finally hash it all out. He still didn't know why he hated him so much.

"Oh my god, he's back." Sam sprinted right out of the room, rushing to meet the returning Gabriel. The air suddenly seemed to grow twice as thick as it was only Dean and Michael left in the room.

"Why do you hate me, Dean?" Michael asked in a small voice. It wasn't accusatory, it was almost pitiful. Dean's jaw clenched agrily. Michael continued.

"We're not so different, you and I. For one, we're both big brothers. And I once tried to be daddy's little solider as well. I wanted to do everything he told me, I wanted to be perfect in his eyes. Not once did he ever show that he was proud of me." Dean pretended as if he wasn't listening, but every word hit close to home for him.

"Do you think you're that person still, Dean?" Dean felt a pang of anger rise up in him again. "Of course not." He said, almost offended at the aspect.

"Why do you think I'd stay the same, then? Do you think people can't change?"

Dean looked into the archangel's green eyes. He didn't see anything threatening or evil there. Maybe they really weren't so different. He shook his head as if to clear the thought out.

"I still don't trust you." Dean replied in a low voice, heading rudely to the door.

"Good. Don't trust anyone." Dean could tell that was somewhat of a joke. A very sarcastic joke at an attempt to try and lighten him up.

"Fine." Dean retorted, feeling like he was stuck in a little kid's argument.

"Okay." Michael shot back, cracking somewhat of a smile. They suddenly were in an unspoken 'last word' battle.

"Yup." Dean shot back, twisting around at the flap entrance.

"It's true." Michael said good naturedly, raising an eyebrow in a very Dean way.

"Stop. You're really freaking annoying, has anyone ever told you that?" Dean rolled his eyes and pushed his way out of the tent, trying to hide his smile.

"Goodbye, Dean."

Dean shook his head, laughing internally. Dammit. He'd gotten to him.

He looked and saw Sam clutching Samandriel tightly, and Gabriel looking exhausted but happy. He really had gotten him back. Dean didn't even want to imagine what would have gone down if he hadn't.

Gabriel reached out to grab Calcifer's arm, and he drew him toward him.

"Cal." He started, speaking in a very serious voice.

"What is it?"

"Time's running out. I've gone over the maps; Raphael's troops are going to reach Melchoir's any day now. We need to pitch a battle, we need to wipe out that entire right wing that was going to merge with Raphael. If we do that... If we can do that, the last hundred or so will fight with Raphael. It might be the last time all of them are in the same place."

Gabriel swallowed nervously. This had to work. Michael as well as himself could recover enough while they fought this battle, Michael might be well enough to join them in the final battle. The pro-apocalypse side was greatly outnumbered, but he didn't know how many their side he might lose in the next two battles. He looked around at all the faces of his family. He didn't want to lose any of them. But everything was really coming to a close this time.

Gabriel felt that consuming fear at the thought of killing his brother. He then shook his head, trying to shake all of his thoughts out of his head.

"Assemble anyone who's able. I'm going to prepare to meet Raphael and watch over Michael. I'm leaving you in command of this one, Cal." His eyes sparkled as they met Calcifer's. They parted ways swiftly, Gabriel letting go of Calcifer's arm and they went opposite directions.

Dean went to come up to Sam and get as far away from Michael's tent. He didn't want to talk to him again any time soon. Even worse, he didn't want to start to actually sort of not hate his guts.

Dean looked up to see Castiel rushing to see Samandriel, concern painted on his face. Dean lifted his hand to do a little half-wave at him, when suddenly he froze, his face falling. He remembered. Holy shit. The block just disappeared, and everything rushed back at Dean.

The Cas he saw now and the one from his memory flickered and interchanged, it had been that look on his face that had triggered the memory. He was thrown in his mind back to his last few minutes of being human.

He saw Cas's face for a split second before he felt a pair of wings whip around his body and wrap tightly together. He felt the shockwave rattle his bones and reach deep down to their very marrow. He screamed as he felt some of his bones just give up and shatter. His ribs tore into his lungs as he fought for breath. His whole body was spinning, tumbling, he had no sense of direction, had no idea what was up or down.

He felt fire shoot up in his nerves and burn him alive, the heat and pain all around him. He brought his arms up to his face, but it had been too late. His eyes were burning, he couldn't feel his eyelids when he blinked.

He couldn't remember when they had stopped tumbling. He felt the feathers unfold off of him, and he felt the wind like lemon juice as it stung his whole body. But his eyes were wide open, but he saw nothing. He felt himself fading away, like he was barely there as he felt a sensation similar to falling asleep.

He was afraid. He clung to anything he could feel; he was so terrified with that wall of black everywhere he looked. He remembered now. A kiss. Soft, short, the sweetest one he'd ever received.

Dean felt like the whole snowy forrest was closing in on him as he brought trembling fingers up to his lips, and touched them lightly with two fingers. He hadn't seen the person who had done it, but he knew it had been Cas. He stood there, starstruck, with his fingers to his lips. But...but...there was just no way. Dean tried to run the tape recorder of things he used to convince himself every time his happened.

_Remember that crush you had on Clara in third grade? That stripper's ass had been so nice she tricked you out of fifty dollars. Remember Lisa? Think of all those hot women, Dean. _

He had run those thoughts back to himself so much that they felt worn, empty, void of all meaning. Dean remembered all those other little things like poison in his brain. That one beautiful man he'd seen at a bar with those adorable, twinkling brown eyes. That one time he'd seen a gay couple hand in hand walking down the street, and he found himself thinking they were sweet.

Then, there was Cas. Dean had doubts since he had been a teenager, but he always pushed it down, way down. He was a serial dater in high school, he always had a new beautiful girl to kiss him good morning, and he made sure his dad saw it when he dropped him off. He seemed impressed. But rouge thoughts would appear like a sickness. Dean tried to deny everything, he hated himself for it. He tried to distract himself with women and more women, drowning his mind in alcohol until he didn't have any thoughts whatsoever. It was his deepest, darkest secret. And he had fully intended to take it straight to the grave with him. He was never, ever, _ever _going to tell anyone. He wasn't even going to hint at it. Not even to Sam. Especially not to Sam. Fear of a slip up plagued him everyday. He felt sick to his stomach invisioning what his dad might think, how Sam would treat him differently. No. Never.

He didn't want to be the way he was. He wanted so much to be normal, wake up one day and have all those horrible, ugly thoughts disappear forever. God, he had tried. He tried so hard to change. He knew he had everyone fooled. He'd covered up absolutely anything and everything for so long, it felt as natural as breathing. Then this goddamn stupid idiotic dumb beautiful sweet kind angel had to ruin everything, his life's work.

"Dean! I said, are you coming?" Calcifer called, looking irritated. "I've called your name at least ten times! Are you deaf or something?"

Dean lowered his fingers from his lips, half forgetting they were even there. "Oh, um, yeah." He cleared his throat and tried to talk in a deep voice.

"Prepare yourselves mentally, boys. We win here, we win everything. There's just one more left. Be light on your feet, be swift, be ruthless. Most of all, clear heads. Ready?"

Having a clear head was a physical impossibility for Dean right now. He felt like he was going to puke. Or suffocate. Hell, he hoped both happened at the same time so he could die and be put out of his misery. How else was one supposed to react when their biggest nightmare was coming true?

* * *

**Hello! Sorry to end this chapter on kind of a somber note. It gets happier later, I promise! I said there would eventually be Destiel and here it is! Note on that subject; I like to write it a little more in a subtle, sweet way in order for it to seem a little more realistic, and not be overwhelming and kind of icky like some of the other stories I've read on this site. So right now I promise that most of it will be realistic and developing slowly, the way I like it. This story is not going to turn down a sketchy alley, dear readers! **

**Also, thank you so much for all your reviews! It might not be much compared to others on this site, but it sure is enough for me! Every single one brightens my day so much. When I woke up and saw I'd gotten numerous overnight, my whole day started off on a wonderful note! So I know I sound like a broken record, but thanks everyone~!**


	13. Gold Dust

Dean set off after the quickly growing mass of angels, dragging his feet and catching up to Sam to stay next to him. He wanted to take comfort in his brother, the one thing that had always been constant in his life.

There had been two rules that were always there within Dean, no matter what the situation was. The first? Protect Sammy. His dad had made sure to ingrain that deep within him, it was almost a part of his personality. The second he had deeply drilled into himself; Protect your secret. These two things were perhaps the only rock solid things in his life. Letting his darkest secret get out rang on the same personal level as letting Sam get ripped apart right in front of him.

Dean glanced over quickly; his stomach dropped when he saw Castiel was coming his way. Dean unconsciously moved to almost hide behind Sam. He only realized how dumb that was after he'd done it. He wasn't a kid anymore, his problems didn't just disappear if he hid from them.

Cas looked at Dean, and his face suddenly illuminated with understanding. He strode up happily to Dean, who in his panic was trying to avoid any eye contact.

"You remember," he said, smiling big like the time he'd seen Dean for the first time since he'd become an angel. Dean contrastingly frowned deeply, and motioned for Cas to follow him, to get out of the crowd and go into the nearby forrest. They could catch up with the group later, but for now they needed to talk. Castiel cocked his head to the side just a little, but followed him all the same.

Dean made sure they were out of all earshot and eyeshot before he continued.

"I want you to erase it. All of it." Dean said with a stony face, pointing rudely at Cas as if he was accusing him of something. Castiel brought his eyebrows together, looking confused. "But, you'd told me-"

"Look. I don't want to remember any of it, okay?" He said angrily, feeling tears burning in his tear ducts. Dean felt his heart stir as he looked at that beautiful face, his blue eyes darting rapidly from side to side as he tried to understand. He hated himself for getting that little flutter.

Cas licked his lips slightly before he continued, keeping his darting eyes downcast. "I was under the impression that-"

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong!" Dean yelled, getting worked up, mostly at himself. "I'm ashamed of you, Cas! I'm ashamed of myself! I never asked to be this way, I don't _want_ to love you, okay?" He couldn't bear that expression on Castiel's face.

"This was never supposed to happen! No one was supposed to find out, Cas. No one. It's unnatural, I'm fucking repulsive for even-" He stopped and shut his eyes tight, looking up to the ceiling. This was his worst nightmare. He never wanted to have this conversation. Cas tried to take a step toward him, and Dean jerked back. Two ripe tears finally dripped from his eyes, just catching at the bottom of his cheeks.

"Stay away from me." Dean threatened in a stone cold voice. Castiel looked heartbroken, standing there with half-opened arms.

"Dean, I-" Dean stepped back again, trying to put as much distance in between them as he could.

"Dean, it's okay." Cas whispered, tears sparkling in his eyes. "Why are you so afraid?" He said it so softly, so sweetly that Dean felt a prickly rush up his nose and in his tear ducts. Castiel came closer, and Dean stiffened but didn't back away this time, darting his green eyes from left to right as he stared at the floor.

"I don't know." He wiped his hands down his face, smearing the tears even more. "Because I hate this part of myself. I just wish it would go away, it's fucking torment. I know I'm damn disgusting-" He sniffed and rubbed his eyes again, blinking as he looked skyward.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Dean." Cas was using that intoxicatingly sweet voice again. He ventured even closer, spreading out his arms in an innocent gesture as if he were approaching a feral animal.

"Yes, there is. _Please_. Erase it. If you can, cure me, because all my life I've just wanted to be normal-" He couldn't continue. He covered his face with both of his palms. Castiel softly wrapped his arms around him, and instead of Dean lashing out he took his hands off his face and put his arms around Cas, and he had fully intended to keep control, but his chest began to rise with shaky sobs beyond his control. Cas just held on, trying to be something solid in a world that must have felt utterly out of control.

"You are normal," He said calmly, reassuringly. Dean gripped on tighter and tried to stop crying. He didn't feel like he wanted to let go just yet. He was still so afraid, all those years keeping it all stopped up, every single thing he'd ingrained in his system screamed for him to stop, to let go, make excuses, never bring it up again.

He pulled away from the hug slowly, looking into that familiar, lovely face. Cas was smiling that goofy, somewhat sideways smile that he used when he tried to reassure someone, to make them feel better. Wow, he loved him so much. He still felt deep squeezes of guilt just thinking that.

Dean sighed in a watery voice, drinking in that face before he finally took his hands off of Cas's shoulders. He looked into his eyes; those burning blue eyes he knew so well. There was a moment of silence as he felt a familiar seizure of fear deep in his gut. No, this was wrong. It was all wrong.

He got a hand to cover his eyes and he twisted away. Maybe if he didn't look at him it would make it easier. "Cas-" he started, and that deep seated fear overwhelmed him. "I just. I can't, I can't, not right now. I need time, I need space. I can't do this."

"It's okay, Dean. I've waited before. I will wait for you."

Dean felt those words just reach down and not only pull at his heartstrings, but pretty much rip them out. He turned all the way around and couldn't restrain himself from sprinting away. With every step he felt like more and more of a dumbass, but he couldn't stop. This was all happening so fast, he couldn't even comprehend it. He was still scared, which was a pretty hard thing to get him to feel after everything he'd been though. But he just kept running, he needed to get back to the rest of the troop. He wanted to be distracted, he didn't want to look his fear straight in the face for one more second. He wished he could just be brave enough to admit everything to himself.

Calcifer was still rounding up everyone in the camp to join him. Dean had almost forgotten how many had joined them when Antheniel had arrived. He looked around the sea of heads and wings, he had to guess there were around eighty people, and it was growing. They'd probably end up with around a hundred.

"There you are. Where'd you go?" Sam asked when Dean slunk back to his side. If he noticed tears in his eyes, he didn't say anything.

"Oh, kind of got swept away from the crowd," He lied through his teeth. "I didn't know we had this many people."

"Me neither," Sam replied, scanning the crowd like Dean had done. He looked like he was about to say more, but quickly shut his mouth when he saw that Calcifer had begun to speak.

"We need to meet and cut off Tirael's army before they can merge with Raphael. We have to cover this distance in two or three days, hopefully the lesser. Estimated angels that we're taking on is fifty. We _have_ this, brothers and sisters. So let's go take it!" He rallied, and the mass of angels cheered and began moving swiftly, forward or darting quickly in and out of tents to collect all the weapons and supplies they could think of.

Dean for some reason felt the urge to reach out and grab Sam's hand, to protect him like he'd done for his whole childhood. He felt his whole world spinning; he was leading Sam into battle, and he had no idea what would happen. And, his secret was beginning to surface after his whole life keeping it in check. Dean was surprised he was even functioning when his two absolute rules, his personal northern stars, were completely falling apart.

...

They'd gone miles and miles, maybe close to a full day, before they finally took their first rest stop. Other angels had gone to work straight away, collecting branches and creating a few different fire pits. Angels crowded around the fires and around each other. It was so damn cold, the collective warmth of their graces couldn't even begin to cover it anymore. They tried to engage in lighthearted conversations, not wanting the topics to lead back to war, at least for a little while.

Dean needed to get away right when they'd stopped. They probably wouldn't miss him anyway. He distanced himself to the edge and sunk down into the snow, hugging his knees to his chest. He was staring straight ahead into the black trees, watching as snowflakes floated down slowly. He sighed and just stared straight ahead, keeping his eyes completely still, not looking at anything in particular. It was something he had done whenever he had been upset when he was little. When he grew up things changed and he couldn't run and hide anymore. He didn't want to move for a while, he just wanted to sit there and watch.

He straightened up when he felt that Sam was looking for him, walking out to meet him. Great. Perfect.

"What's wrong?" Sam said softly, and he came and sat next to him, touching his knee to his.

"Nothing. I'm just tired," Dean tried to say, but Sam saw through it right away.

"Dean, you haven't run away and hid like this since we were kids. Remember that night that Dad had to drag you out from under those motel stairs? You'd been waiting there for hours."

Dean closed his eyes. He did remember. He'd curled up under beds, hid in closests. He almost forgot that had been his coping mechanism for a long time.

"It's just too much. I don't want to lose you, Sam. I don't want to lose anyone." Sam silently put his arm over Dean's shoulder. They sat there for a while. Dean felt his stomach grow sour.

"What's up with you and Cas? You guys haven't talked for days."

"We're in a fight right now," Dean quickly answered, wanting the subject to change immediately . Sam looked behind him to see the rest of the angels in their little clusters, laughter floated up from one of them. He spotted him relatively quickly; Castiel was in a group, recieving several holy oil bombs that he slipped into his coat as he chatted with the other angels around the fire. He looked up to see the brothers, and his expression was innocent and slightly worried.

"He doesn't look very angry." Sam said, nodding to acknowledge Castiel's glance.

"Yeah, well. You know how he is," Dean tried to avoid the situation.

"Why don't you tell me what's going on?" Sam asked, and Dean couldn't help but look right into those wide puppy eyes. Dean pressed his lips together.

"I'm sorry, Sam." He said quietly, quickly avoiding his glance. It didn't help much; he could picture Sam's hurt expression perfectly in his mind's eye.

"I'll be here when you want to talk, alright?" He said, taking his hand off of his shoulder and giving him a little pat. Great. Now Dean felt even worse than when he'd first separated himself from the group.

* * *

Gabriel sat with Michael, extending his leg onto a chair opposite from him. He was slowly but surely getting better, but healing was delayed just a bit from all the energy he was expending on helping Michael.

He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders when he'd finally been forgiven by Samandriel. It was amazing how guilty he'd felt about one tiny little angel. Now, he only needed to recharge before...well, he didn't want to think about that now. Right now was a time to rest.

He put another rich German chocolate into his mouth. Wow, he hadn't had the time for sweets in a while. As the flavor melted into his mouth he felt more like himself. He'd been forced to be so serious and was faced with such heavy situations, he missed being able to play practical jokes and enjoy sweets.

He reached a hand out to give Michael another burst of energy. He was slowly getting better, and his wounds were turning to scars quickly and his wings were getting a tiny bit healthier. Gabriel could tell he was bogged down still, Sam and Dean hadn't exactly accepted his apology with open arms. And he had yet to even talk to Adam.

The camp was extremely empty, with the two of them, Samandriel, and just four or five weak angels who were unable to battle. Samandriel had climbed onto Michael's bed, trying to be a comfort to him just like he had been for Dean. Gabriel smiled at how pure of good emotion the little boy was. He had tried to imitate what Gabriel had been doing, reaching out periodically and giving Michael bursts of energy, but he was so small and not powerful at all compared to Gabriel that it really made no difference, but Gabe thought it was sweet that he was trying to help.

Michael had gotten on the boy's good side right away as they talked quietly. Gabriel looked at the two of them-literally the oldest and youngest of all the angels, together. Michael had softly tousled the kid's hair, as he looked at him with admiration after seeing everything the kid had done. Michael was able to review through all of his memory in a matter of seconds; his life was so short compared to the millions of years he'd experienced.

"You've seen so much, haven't you?"

Samandriel closed his eyes and nodded slowly.

"It will get easier, I promise. I remember a time when angels lives were very boring. Must seem kind of strange to you, huh?" Samandriel nodded, trying to shoot of a tiny bit of energy again. Michael grinned at the gesture, but then looked to Gabriel.

"Aren't you worried?"

"About what?" Gabriel answered, lifting an eyebrow.

"You know. Calcifer."

Gabriel pressed his lips together. "No. I trust him."

"Even I could tell he wasn't right. Him and Isiah used to be attached at the hip." Michael shuffled his wings anxiously. "We need as many people as we can in the final battle. You know that." Was Michael really suggesting Calcifer would end up wasting many of those who followed him?

"I trust him to make the right decisions." He said again, unmoving. Was it really the best choice, though? He had been acting extremely rash lately. Gabriel shook his head. No. He would be fine. He couldn't stress out right now, he needed to rest.

* * *

Dean had gotten up very grudgingly when he heard hundreds of footsteps and knew that they were going to be on the move again. He stood up and stretched. It was strange how perfectly still he could sit when he wasn't bogged down with humanly qualities, like needing to sleep or eat or go to the bathroom. His limbs were stiff from the cold and his unmoving position, and he scanned to find Sam and march beside him again. He saw a quick glimpse of Cas in the quickly moving crowd before he was out of sight.

Was it possible for the person you wanted to see the most and least to be the same? Cas was doing exactly what Dean had asked him to do, which was stay away from him until Dean figured himself out. But Dean wished at the same time that he would break his wishes and just come back and act normal. Dean tried to shove the thought from his head as he followed his tall brother through the sea of people.

His was lost in his thoughts as he marched on rhythmically, and he couldn't even feel his feet with each step as they, as well as his hands and tip of nose, had gone completely numb. He was thinking about everything, how strange his world was now. He wasn't even human anymore. With his two rules being ripped from him, he wondered if he was even Dean still. He certainly wouldn't consider himself a hunter any longer. He hadn't had a beer in so long, he was surprised he was even functioning. Maybe he had changed some, but he was still him, right?

He barely noticed when they came to a stop, and that's why he was so shocked when he finally spotted the other army doing the same thing they had done a while ago, camp out with several bonfires. He wasn't sure how long they had been walking this time, it could have been close to a day, he couldn't even tell anymore. His damn brain wouldn't shut up. Calcifer had put himself in the very front, bringing his finger to his lips to show that they had to be as quiet and sneaky as possible. Dean felt very out of it as everyone else around him was tense and at the ready, and he was still trying to clear his head of the clouds.

No, he wasn't ready. He wouldn't lead his brother to his death. He was able to summon his blade even before his heart began to pump, but he was too focused to even notice that he'd finally learned that aspect. The fire pits glowed orange, a nice change of color to all this damn black and white. Black and white, everywhere he looked. He was getting sick of it.

Everything suddenly became so real, he felt every muscle in his body tense up and was suddenly aware of every aspect of his body. He saw his breath swirl away in the cold, and he felt ready to sprint and fight and tear out their throats. He wanted to end this, he wanted Sam to be with Jess. He wanted to finally have the time to see his mom and dad again, he wanted to visit Bobby and Ellen and Jo. He wanted to have time to figure out what the hell was becoming of his life, and what he was supposed to do about Cas.

They sneaked among the trees, and Dean wasn't even sure when the line had blurred from staying hidden to a full on attack. But suddenly, he was right in the middle of everything, bullets whizzed, there were shouts and screams and booms. He felt that same drive to finish this damn thing, and he felt strength come into his legs as he pumped them faster and faster, sprinting head on as members of his family rushed and fought and slashed all around him.

Calcifer was the fastest of all of them, launching himself and slicing at throats as if he didn't have a drop of fear in his whole body. He was absolutely vicious, sprinting and tumbling and throwing his whole body weight into his weapon like an animal. He set an amazing example; just watching him gave Dean an ounce of courage.

Dean slammed into one of the enemy angels that had his back to him, who was occupied with someone in the front. He jammed his blade right into its middle and ripped it out harshly, seeing shatters of cold, steely grace rip and fade into the air like embers. He saw a pit in the snow in his peripherals, and dove for cover. He rolled in just in time as a bone-rattling bomb exploded nearby. He brushed off his hair from the thick snowflakes and shuffled his wings to get ring of the clinging white. Finally seeing that he was somewhat safe, he noticed someone was in the same pit with him, the one who had been fighting the angel he'd run through. The man turned around quickly, and Dean's eyes widened when they met a pair of deep blue ones. Cas. They both looked at each other, fear in the depths of their eyes as they quaked slightly from the fear, cold and adrenaline combined. Their noses were only a few inches apart as they finally were seeing each other for the first time in days.

"Hey," Dean said lamely. Cas's expression didn't change from one of extreme concern as he slipped something out of his coat and handed it out for Dean. It was a holy oil bomb. Dean reached up his hand out, and Cas placed it in his open palm, dragging his finger softly to linger just a second longer.

They didn't say anything to each other as the only stared at each other, their faces inches away. Their misty breath started to mingle together, and Dean suddenly had an overwhelming desire to kiss him. He didn't want Cas to avoid him anymore. He wanted his friend back, he didn't want to feel so damn conflicted anymore. Either he loved Cas, or he didn't. He wanted things to be that clear, and he felt he was leaning more toward the first one. But how the hell would he tell Sam? Or his mom and dad? He felt butterflies in his stomach.

Cas's blue eyes darted down to Dean's lips, then back up to his eyes. Their cold breaths were now on time, curling away together in a little cloud. Cas pulled his face away, and broke eye contact. "Stay safe," He finally said in his recognizable gravelly voice, before he extended his blade in hand.

Dean caught a glimpse of a sparkle from the blade, and the last thing he saw was the dark black of his wings slipping away. He wanted to call out and tell him to wait, but it was like his vocal chords weren't working as he looked over the bunker of snow. Castiel was nowhere to be seen.

Dean did look up just in time to see Calcifer lying flat on his back, an enemy angel just about to really end him forever with his blade ready to plunge right into his chest. Dean felt that same strong protective urge, and somehow an invisble force seemed to shove the enemy back and get Calcifer just out of the way.

The angel stumbled, confused, and went right in the path of a pack of four others of his kind. It quickly regained its composure and swiftly went to join them. This was probably Dean's perfect shot. He wound his arm up and pitched the bomb Cas had given him as hard as he could. His heart lept when his aim had been perfect; the bomb exploded once it hit the ground, incinerating the group in seconds.

"Cal!" He cried out, but got no response. He scanned the field quickly: he could get him if he took just a few seconds. Dean leapt from the pit he'd been hiding in and hit the ground running. He reached Calcifer and started to drag him as quickly as he could to safety. A bullet zipped by his head, dangerously close.

Dean dragged him into the pit, and began shaking him, rolling his head, lightly slapping his cheeks with a cupped hand. "Cal, wake up. Come on, buddy. Please."

Calcifer came to and screwed his face up right away. "Son of a _bitch_!" He exclaimed, reaching up to grip his shoulder. Dean looked and quickly saw why; the exact same spot he'd had the bullet zip right through before now had a Leviathan bullet lodged right in the tear.

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" He spat again, and Dean was caught off guard by that wild look in his gold eyes.

"I'm going to get you help, alright?" Dean said, and he wondered if he really should take him back to Adam's. Calcifer's face dropped to one with no emotion whatsoever as Dean gripped one of his arms tightly, shook his wings of snow, and flew quickly to Adam's.

The teen quickly ushered the injured angel in, digging around for the tools he needed. Dean disappeared with the sound of flapping wings, and Adam led the stony-faced man to the nearest bed, taking out the tweezers and wooden bit.

"I don't need that," Calcifer said in a low, monotone voice, looking down and out as he looked at nothing in particular. Adam found it a bit strange, but he continued anyway. The man didn't even flinch as Adam reached in to pull out the bullet, but Cal's face drooped into an expression even sadder than that of a frown.

"You're Calcifer, right? I've heard a lot about you." Adam said, trying to break some of the strange tension in the air.

"I'm sure you have," The man replied on exhale, implying that the things were negative. Adam lifted his eyebrows, starting to think this was extremely strange. Cal wasn't acting at all like anyone else he had tried to help.

"Hold still," Adam said again, biting his lips in concentration as he began to try and clean out as much of the poison as he could. Calcifer did the exact opposite, and it was as if something in him just snapped. His eyes burned with a cold fire, as he stood up tall and clenched his fists to his side.

"Stop, I'm not finished-"

With his expression unchanging from that rock-bottom grief, he threw Adam easily across the room. Adam curled up and tried to sit up, the wind had been knocked out of him, hard. He sat up, touching his head lightly, which had split open a tiny bit and begun to bleed. He had an astonished look on his face. Calcifer made swiftly for the bathroom, as Adam struggled to stand up and run after him.

Calcifer knocked into the door, bumping clumsily into the bathroom as his light grey and white wings knocked over medicine bottles and perfumes and shampoos, which clattered and shattered on the tile floor. He stood up unsteadily, and slammed the door shut without touching it. He slid out his silver blade-bullet gun, looking at the shiny and beautiful object with exhausted, sad eyes as he turned and tilted it slightly to see the light play off of it.

Adam stood up laboriously and ran, unbalanced, sliding on the wood flooring in front of the bathroom as he gripped onto the doorknob for support. He straightened up and pounded as hard as he could with his fist onto the door. "Calcifer! Please, come out!" He didn't know exactly what he was going to do, but he'd seen that look in his eyes. He was going to do something bad, and Adam was just a powerless human to stop it.

Calcifer slowly raised his eyes to meet his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He felt his eyes fill with tears as they dropped out without even blinking. He looked at every aspect of himself; his hair, the way his cheeks sloped to meet his jaw, his chin, the slope of his nose and his eyes. Especially his eyes. There were dark rings around them, and they shone with a crazy kind of light, spinning slowly in and out of dialation. He blinked slowly with realization. That wasn't him in the mirror looking back at him. That was Isiah.

"Calcifer!" Adam called out, tears coming to his own eyes. He knew what it was like to lose someone he loved. His mom was the only family he'd ever known. If the angel even heard it, he didn't acknowledge it. He brought the silver gun up slowly, centering it in the middle of his chest. He was such a failure, death didn't even come to him when he wanted it to. With two close calls, it was almost as if it were mocking him. He wouldn't fail this time, he was sure. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, feeling every nerve in his body, especially the ones in his finger on the trigger. He opened his eyes to see Isiah one last time. It was a good thing he did. He saw something that changed his mindset completely. The fierce fire in his eyes suddenly was snuffed out completely, and he watched as they returned to normal, his face dropping with realization. The gun slipped out of his hand, clattering harmlessly to the floor.

He slowly twisted the doorknob, the door opened with a creak, and met Adam's extremely worried face. A small trickle of blood had slid down his forehead, where the skin had split. It looked like his lower lip had been busted as well. They stood there, just staring at each other for a short moment, Calcifer gripping tightly to the doorknob. What had he almost just done?

Calcifer didn't say anything as he fell into the kid, giving him a crushing hug, at the same time releasing enough energy to heal the teenager. Adam hugged right back, not sure what else he was supposed to do. From working with angels, he'd learned that they were powerful, social and quite dangerous to a frail human like him. But it was moments like these that he felt paid off all his hard work.

...

When Dean returned, he was surprised to find that the battlefield was eerily quiet. It was over, and they'd absolutely crushed this one troop. They owed it all to Calcifer, without his leadership skills and careful manevuering, who knows what could have happened? Dean reached out to find Sam right away, and felt his glow close by. He sprinted toward it, and found him still in one of the pits. He was holding a girl angel, and it was easy to see she was dying. She had a deep gash across her chest from one of the blades, and her breathing was labored.

"It will all be okay. I promise. It won't be too bad," Sam was comforting her, and just seconds later she took in her last breath, and Sam flinched as black wings appeared around him. He looked up at Dean with tired eyes and stood shakily up from the pit. Dean wrapped his arms around him right away, and said nothing as he helped him to climb out.

"We're supposed to go join Velias's camp and wait there," Sam said, stepping in time with Dean. Dean was suprised when he slung his arm over his shoulder, and Dean felt that Sam was extremely upset and shaken up, but also relieved that nothing had happened to Dean.

The went like this for a while, not talking at all, as they followed the stream of angels to go back to the other camp.

This one was much nicer than the tiny white tents that they'd had back with Gabriel. These buildings were small, wood-framed cabins, with a few steps up to each one. Sam and Dean wanted nothing else but to crash in one of these and rest for a while.

Dean spotted Calcifer sitting on one of the bottom steps, taking long drags from a cigarette. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, and he leaned back on his good arm, his body position was so relaxed and casual as he tilted his head back to blow smoke from his mouth. He looked so at peace, Dean found it strange that this was the same man he'd seen fighting himself to the ground. Calcifer saw Dean looking and motioned for them to join him.

He was silent for a second when they'd come over, as he looked both of their faces over for a little. He snuffed the cigarette out and finally spoke up.

"Come inside, you're bunking with me." He said, motioning for them to follow him up the three or four steps to get inside.

He collapsed into a chair and closed his eyes, but it was clear he wanted to tell them something. "Honestly? I'm suprised I'm even alive right now." He said with a big puff of breath. Dean and Sam exchanged a quick glance.

"Didn't you know what I was doing? Couldn't you tell? I was _trying_ to be killed. I wanted to go out fighting, I wanted to go out for a good cause. Assisted suicide, right? But I failed at that too. _Two fucking times I failed at that."_

"It was like death was playing some sick cat-and-mouse game with me. So at Adam's house, I wanted him to mess up or something, but when it clear he was doing a perfect job, I just snapped." Dean noticed he was talking about it almost as if he were disconnected, and he actually kept somewhat of a mild tone.

"So, I snuck into his bathroom and pulled out my gun. I looked in the mirror, and all I could see was Him. His face, not mine. No one needed me anymore. I knew I wasn't going to fail this time. So there I was, looking at Him, I had the gun to my chest, and godammit I would have done it. But then I saw the tiniest glimpse of something." Calcifer paused, and he smiled. An actual, wide, real smile. Tears had started to shine in his eyes, happy tears.

"There were just right there, inches away from where the bullet would have ended me. So I put my gun down, and I just stared. Then, I came back here, just thinking and thinking about what an idiot I've been. He would have wanted me to live. And I realized I have a reason to live."

Sam and Dean were shocked that he was telling them this. They had seen that he had been in pain, but they had no idea it had been that bad. But Calcifer showed them his reason, and Sam felt his eyes get a little moist and Dean felt a little tug on his heart.

Right there, stationary in Calcifer's grace, right under his collarbone. One tiny little star that was pulling into two, looking like a bright little eight. Twins.

"They say it's one in a million. It's probably even less than that." Calcifer looked down at his chest and covered the splitting star up affectionately with his palm. "Sometimes the universe surprises me." He said happily, looking up into their faces.

"I wanted to thank you for saving me, Dean. And I just wanted to let someone know that I'm not going to give up anymore. I have a reason now."

Sam barreled into Calcifer and gave him a giant hug. "I'm glad you chose to stay, Cal. I would have really missed you."

"I know." He said in a low voice. "I can't believe how close I came. But I'm never going back to that, okay? I'm here to stay, and I'm going to fight." Sam smiled a huge smile and pulled out of the hug.

"Thanks to you, we only have one more." Sam continued, and Cal smiled slightly, running a hand through his hair. He paused, looking at the two of them with his crinkly, smily eyes.

"I'm glad Cas did what he did for you two. And I'm glad to call you both my brothers." Calcifer looked away, thinking deeply again. He had been _so _close. But now, it was as if all his despair had vanished. He just knew that they were going to win, he was so sure of it. Maybe his little twins wouldn't ever have to live in a world like this, these time would only become scary bedtime stories.

He closed his eyes, happy to just be alive, feeling his ribcage move in and out as he breathed. He finally felt happy about what his future might hold. And he would fight still, not to burn out, not to die or to avenge, but to make a better world for the two little things that had saved him from himself.

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**Hello! Wow, I didn't realize how often I've been updating! It is winter break, after all. So, just saying I'm probably going to slow down the updates soon. I hope you liked this chapter, please tell me what you think! I still am happy to hear any suggestions as to what you'd like to see, or if you have any questions! Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows everyone! It makes me so happy to see my story getting read :)**


	14. Mind Games

**Happy New Years everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please tell me what you think, I love to hear from anyone. My story is also coming close to an end! Thank you everyone for reading :)**

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Dean looked up from the couch he was lounging on when he heard a little rap at the door. Calcifer had left to do something else, probably something to so with his duty as person in charge. Sam and Dean were lying around, still trying to figure out how the hell they could feel well rested, after all this was wearing them thin. Dean looked toward the door and saw Castiel, looking concerned as he had knocked on a wood beam.

"I'm sorry for stopping by so abrupty, but I just wanted to check and make sure you were all okay," He said, standing in the doorway as if he were ready to leave at any second if it upset Dean. Dean immediately felt bad that Cas was going to such lengths to respect his wishes. What had he ever done to deserve such a thoughtful, sweet friend?

"Come in, Cas." Dean said, and almost laughed aloud at the relief that dropped into his face. Really, he was such a sweetheart to him, which made him feel even worse for yelling and upsetting Castiel, who had done nothing but wait for him.

"So are you guys made up?" Sam asked, and Cas cocked his head to the side. Oh, right. That had been Dean's cover-up.

"Um, yeah." Dean answered, and that hurt expression returned to Sam's face. Why didn't he open up to him about what was really going on?

"You look spent." He said, observing both of them with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock." Dean replied, to which Castiel kept that narrow-eyed confused expression. Dean cracked a smile. That was the Cas he knew.

"I could show you something I do to rest," Castiel offered helpfully. Sam and Dean perked up. "Really?"

Castiel came farther into the cabin and sat down, closing his eyes. "I told you we watched over the earth. So, if you concentrate hard enough, sometimes you can just watch and observe. It's very relaxing." He said, making sure to keep somewhat of a distance from Dean.

Dean and Sam looked up, kind of confused. "How?" Dean asked, somewhat frustrated at the lack of instruction.

"I'm not quite sure. It kind of just happens." Sam and Dean shut their eyes, trying to do who knows what for a second. Dean peeked his eyes open and looked at Sam, who happened to be glancing at him in the same second. They smiled and couldn't help it, they started laughing a little. Then, Dean felt the unmistakable presence of two old, strong graces appear- Gabriel and Michael.

"I should go," Sam said quickly, standing up and getting out of the cabin. Even though everything seemed alright between Samandriel and Gabriel for now, he just needed to be sure.

That left Cas and Dean. Castiel looked at him with an uncomfortable expression. "I could leave if you'd like."

"No, stay. And I wanted to say that I'm sorry that I yelled at you. You don't have to stay away anymore if you don't want to."

Castiel looked relieved again.

"I understand why you yelled. You were afraid. " He said, coming up to sit next to Dean on the couch. He hesitated before speaking up again. "Is this okay?" He asked softly.

Dean felt horrible. He was such an asshole sometimes. "You're fine, Cas. I'm sorry I've been such an asshole, and you've been nothing but understanding. You don't deserve that from me." They were silent for a second, their legs touching lightly as they sat together. Cas had his eyes closed; at first Dean thought he was angry, but then it occurred to him that he must be doing that watching thing he was trying to tell them how to do earlier. Dean closed his eyes as well, and somehow when he opened them he was back on Earth in a place he'd never been before.

"You're not really there," Cas spoke up from next to him. No one around them acknowledged that he had spoken. "We're only watching."

Dean looked around- they were in a quaint little town, standing on the sidewalk outside of a coffee shop. People milled about, walking with leisurely gaits as if it were a sleepy town where time ran slower than most places. People walked home, their arms full of groceries. A student dropped their papers, and someone else crouched to help pick them up. People chatted happily around them, sitting at tables with steaming coffee. Someone rode by on a bike. Modern cars slowed and squeezed by on the old brick roads that were narrow from being built so long ago. An older woman leaned out the window and watered the flowers on her windowsill. Another window wafted steam, and the shadows of shampoo bottles could be seen in the foggy window. A little dog barked at a stray cat digging in an overturned trashcan.

"It's hard to imagine watching over humans and not falling in love with them as a whole," Castiel spoke up softly, looking all around him. "Even when they don't think they're being watched, they can be such kind beings."

As if to demonstrate it, a young woman noticed that a cement covering was slightly open, and she pushed it so that no one would trip, and was on her way.

The two were quiet for a long time, just watching. A young man and the barista exchanged telephone numbers. A college kid clacked away on his laptop. A jogger went by, smiling at the college student.

"People live so quickly, they never realize that they are connected to everyone around them. See that jogger and that college student? They finally meet when they are fifty and at a bank robbery at the same time, and later get married after their first marriages don't work out." Dean was able to see it clearly once Cas pointed it out.

"Do you always do this?" Dean asked, finding it strangely rewarding to just stand as watch as the day unfolded for the people around them.

"Sometimes. I haven't been able to lately, but it used to be my full time job. I miss it sometimes." He looked at Dean one more time, and everything melted softly away to the dull interior of their cabin.

Cas smiled at him, and Dean grinned slightly back. "Do you feel better now?" He asked, and Dean realized he was feeling better. A lot better, like he'd finally had that long night's sleep he'd been craving.

"It's in our nature to want to watch, to obeserve our earth. We start to feel strange if we don't check in every now and then." Cas explained, relieved that Dean looked like he was feeling better.

"Thanks," Dean said, and without thinking he reached out and gently held Cas's hand. Cas looked surprised and a little bit confused, but let him anyway.

"I'm sorry I've been such a dick. You haven't done anything wrong to me, and I treated you like crap."

Cas took a leap of faith and leaned over to rest his head on Dean's shoulder. When Dean didn't object, Cas closed his eyes and smiled. "It's okay. I wanted to give you time to figure yourself out. I could see that you were hurting, that you were upset and fearful." Dean leaned his cheek onto Cas's head, and he smiled just a little as he felt his chest puffing up.

"I lied, Cas. I'm not ashamed of you." He closed his eyes as well, and he felt Cas slowly, comfortingly stroking his hand that he held with his thumb. "I'm going to tell Sam."

Dean felt Cas's happiness permeate the air right away. They stayed like that for a long time, saying absolutely nothing as they leaned onto each other, Cas's head on Dean's shoulder and Dean resting his cheek onto the dark head of hair.

Dean felt so much more different around Cas than any other girl he'd been with in the past. Just sitting here with him, just holding hands and leaning onto each other, he felt happier and more content than he'd been with a lot of the women he'd slept with. He realized he really had to love him more than any girl too; they did so many things together, crazy things for each other. Dean had only kissed Cas once, he hadn't even been able to see it, and he still loved him more than a girl that he'd kiss and sleep with the same day. And the thought and worry about how to get rid of them in the morning never ran through his mind like after his many toot 'n boots. He really, really wanted him to stay. And unlike with Lisa, this was self-generated,he was not trying to respect a deceased Sam's wishes by staying with her. The two perked up when sirens began to sound.

"They have _sirens_?" Dean said, and they scrambled to get up and go outside. People were rushing around, speaking quickly to each other and running to shut themselves inside their cabins.

"This is a Grade C lockdown. Proceed to stay inside your cabins until we say that it is safe to come out. Pro-apocalypse has begun phase 1 of mental warfare. I repeat, mental warfare has been initiated."

Calcifer was leading Sam back into their cabin tightly by the arm as many angels hustled around them, bumping them a few times.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean asked Calcifer, who had a very stern expression on. "Get inside. Now." He ordered,pushing them to back up inside and he latched the door. He began firing off an explanation quickly, as if they didn't have much time.

"The other side knows they're outnumbered, and they don't want to lose. They're not stupid, either. This is their last attempt to even the playing field, their last hoorah. They want to exploit what they see as our weakness, our emotions. They don't need to be in our network to get into our heads, much like how we can still manipulate humans without them being connected to us. Sam, you would probably understand the best after what Lucifer did to you after you got out."

Sam visibly shuddered. "Is that what they're trying to do?" He asked fearfully.

"Possibly. From what we've seen so far, they get into your head and will dig up your deepest desire, and if you give in to it you'll willing trap yourself in your own head. Well, that's if you're lucky." All three of their faces fell at those last words.

"What do you mean 'if we're lucky'?" Dean demanded.

"They seem to, uh... have a different strategy. It-"

Dean suddenly was knocked out mid-sentence. He barely even had a second to realize he was falling before he was somewhere else.

He blinked his eyes a few times, just to make sure what he was seeing was really there. Just a second ago he had been in a dingy canvas and wood cabin in heaven. Now, he stood outside on the sidewalk, looking up at his childhood home. Snow was piled over everything and scraped off of sidewalks, and christmas lights hung from the banisters around the balcony. He felt an absence of weight on his shoulder blades, and he realized his wings were gone, he was completely human, and an alive one at that.

He heard talking and laughter and saw movement inside, so he decided to go in. It seemed like a dream, but every detail was so sharp that he felt it had to be real. He gripped the cold doorknob and pushed the door open. He was met with the gazes from his whole family. There was Sam, of course, but he was bouncing his son who looked eerily like Samandriel on his knee. Jess was next to him, and her belly was big with another kid on the way. His mom and dad were there, looking beautiful in their old age. They were drinking champagne and were talking quietly, laughing even. Adam was there too, holding another kid on his lap. The kid jumped up right when he saw Dean and ran to get another little boy, taking him gently by the hand away from whatever he was playing with and coming up to Dean.

"Daddy!" He said, hugging Dean around the knees. Dean looked down at the boy's faces, and he could see pieces of himself there. In the back of his mind, he knew things like this couldn't be possible. Adam wouldn't exist if his mother had never died. There was no way he could have kids- he died himself. In fact, everyone in this room was dead. _Remember_? Dean knew a few things didn't add up, but he didn't care. Things were so lovely and perfect that he wanted them to be real. And all this amazing detail- nothing was hazy like in a dream.

"I'm afraid you've just missed dinner," Mary spoke up. Dean looked at her, and loved that she had gray hairs mixing in with the blonde, and that age had softened her blue eyes and the skin on her face. He never thought he'd be able to see her this age, to see her this happy.

"It's alright, I'm not very hungry." Dean replied, looking into the children's round faces again. Names floated into his mind as if they were real people- the older one was Robert John Winchester, but his nickname was Robbie. He had pitch black hair, pale skin and deep green eyes. He was five years old, and the older brother to the little boy he'd taken by the hand earlier, who was three.

He had sandy blonde hair that went into his eyes like Sam's had when he was that age. He had a string of freckles across his cheeks, and burning deep blue eyes. Leoniel Samuel Winchester. Dean liked the way his name rolled in a sing-song way; Lee-on-ee-el. With a name like that, they just called him Leo. But he realized with a jolt- Cas must have named this kid. And with those blue eyes and freckles and dark blonde hair...

It was utterly impossible. But that didn't mean that Dean wished with every fiber of his being for it to be possible. For all of this to be real.

"Why don't you take the kids to bed? Santa's coming tonight, and he's got a busy schedule!" Grandpa John said, and Dean loved that he looked so content, so much more lighthearted than he really had been in life.

"Santa's coming!" Leo piped up in an adorably high pitched voice.

"You better get to bed before he sees you and gives you coal for peeking!" Dean teased, making roaring noises as he picked up Leoniel and swung him over his shoulder. His giggling sharply cut into the air as he kicked his legs. Dean began to head to the stairway, pretending like was going to fall over as he swayed Leo on his shoulder. "Whoa-a-a!" He joked, and Leo shrieked and punched his tiny fists into his shoulder. "Stop that, dad!"

Robbie had already bolted to the top of the stairs and was bouncing on his feet. "Can you read us a story in your bed tonight? We like the big bed. Leo told me he does too!" Robbie said, pulling on the bottom of Dean's shirt in the direction.

"Okay, okay." Dean said, smiling. This was everything he'd ever wanted rolled into one. The truth was he never liked christmas because he knew it would never be as great as the one he was living right now.

He silently followed where Robbie led him, into his bedroom. He set Leo down on the bed as Robbie ran to the corner to grab a book. Dean climbed onto the bed and rested his back on the headboard, and Leoniel snuggled up to his side, Robbie handing him the book and doing the same on the other side, so that Dean felt he was in a little boy sandwich.

Dean cracked open the book, and was ready to read the first line, when Robbie took the book from him quickly, scolding him. "We have to wait for Papa, silly!" He scolded with one pointing finger, like Dean did sometimes.

Dean heard footsteps outside, and was astonished when he saw who walked in. Castiel came in the room, holding a little baby who had to be a little younger than a year old. She had wispy white-blonde hair, and Dean knew without looking at her that she had her grandma's soft, baby blue eyes. Mary Ellen Winchester. Dean felt himself tear up a little bit: a little girl, and two boys that were like him and Sam. And somehow, in this reality, it was with the person he loved more than anyone else.

"You better not be thinking about starting without me," Cas smiled, bouncing the baby slightly in his arms.

"He tried to but I told him no, no, no." Robbie spoke up as Cas slid to sit next to him. Dean smiled and opened the book for the second time.

"Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house..." He paused, suddenly remembering where he needed to be. But it was so cold and violent and bleak up there in reality. Dean felt like he never wanted to leave this perfect, dollhouse life. He zoomed somewhat close to consciousness, knowing that right now, he was not on a comfy bed with kids all around him, but passed out on the hard, cold wood floor in a cabin in heaven.

"Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

He stopped for real this time, and was met with confused glances from both his boys. He wanted to stay here forever, of course he did. But he needed to get back to heaven, he needed to help the real Cas and the real Sam.

"Why did you stop?" Robbie asked, blinking those wide, sparkling green eyes.

Dean reached up and stroked Leo's dark blonde hair. He felt the soft texture, saw every little change in the light as his hand passed over, he saw that round little face that was a blend of features from him and Cas. "You're not real," he said softly under his breath. The sharpness and details of the illusion were starting to confuse him, and that was why he knew he needed to leave soon, or be stuck in his mind forever.

"You're scaring me, dad." Leo said, looking up with those deep blue eyes that were swirling with fear.

"You're not real either," Dean convinced himself, running his hand over Robbie's pitch black hair. Robbie put on a face that Dean often had to do when he was young, the brave face, Robbie was trying to be brave for his little brother. These damn details broke Dean's heart. He quickly climbed off the bed, and made the mistake of looking at their faces one last time. Robbie had moved to hold little Leoniel in his arms, and the little brother had started to tear up. They both looked up with shocked expressions. Castiel was holding their little girl protectively, as if Dean had gone crazy. He looked up at him with a mixture of shock and fear.

"Dean, we can drive you to the hospital. You're not well," he said calmly, trying to get Dean to come to his senses.

"I can't stay here. The real Cas needs me. The real Sam needs me." Dean felt a familiar weight drop on his back; his wings had returned. Dean turned on his heel to run out the door, as much as it felt like he was ripping his heart out in the process. He barreled down the stairs and out the front door, hearing gasps from his other family members. He started sprinting down the street, but each footfall felt the same as the next; completely, sharply real.

What if this was reality? What if he was really running away from his family? He remembered the looks on those kid's-his kid's- faces, and realized he must have ruined their Christmas, and this would probably ruin many christmases to come for them.

_Go back home, Dean, _alittle voice nagged in his head. Dean hesitated, but kept running. No. He needed to get out of here, no matter how wonderful and appealing it was. Doubt kept creeping into his mind as he ran farther and farther and everything still felt just as real. Finally, he noticed a change and felt relieved. Things started to become strange, rubbery almost. He was reaching the edge of his illusion.

He caught a glimpse of the angel responsible; it stood not too far away, half in and half out of the yellow light from a street lamp. It's eyes glowed eerily, and most of its body made of twisted parts was hidden in the shadows, but he saw its middle face clearly. It was an oversized vulture's head, glaring at him murderously as if he were going to spring on him and tear him apart.

Dean woke up abruptly with a gasp that pulled his whole upper body from the floor. He was drenched in sweat, and he collapsed down on the floor again, breathing hard and trying to erase the images that were burned into his mind. He still wished he had stayed in that beautiful trap, it was so hard to come back to reality when reality held nothing that was even comparable to what he had seen. Dean felt like crying, but he didn't want to give in. He had done the right thing, he kept telling himself. That _thing_ was only trying to mess with his head. But he still felt like his boys and little girl were real, they were out there, and he had abandoned them. He took a few minutes to collect himself, and then pushed to stand himself up. He just needed to get out of here. Cas and Sam were struggling on their own, but at least they'd had the common sense to get on a couch or bed.

He unlatched the cabin door and was met with a blast of cold air. He liked how it felt real, how it was distracting his mind from other things. He quickly closed the door behind him, and looked to see that someone was already outside on the steps. Dean could tell just by his wings that it was Calcifer.

"Hey," Dean said, coming to sit next to him on the bottom step.

"You alright?" Cal asked him, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Not really," Dean answered, as he felt really shaken up about the whole dream still. His legs were shaking slightly as he sat down. "My life is fucked up."

Calcifer smiled and blew smoke into the air. "You're preaching to the quire, my friend. You want one?" He held out a cigarette to Dean.

"No thanks," Dean said in a distant voice, holding his head in his hands. Calcifer took back that cigarette, rolled his wrist, and held out a freshly opened beer.

"Oh god yes," he said again, taking the beer and taking his first long sip.

"Whatever you saw, you just have to remember that it's not real. It's just them playing mind games, alright?" Cal offered when he saw how upset Dean was. They were quiet for a moment as Dean drank and Cal smoked slowly.

"You know, I'm surprised that they didn't try this before. They think emotions make people weak and stupid. Maybe they're right."

Dean shook his head slowly. "How bad are the damages? Do you think we could still win?"

Calcifer laughed. "We outnumber them by so much, even after their attempt to level the playing field. And we have people like you, who were hit once and got over it. I don't think they're able to try again. I'm surprised you woke up so quickly, too. Just a few of us have been able to do that." He looked at Dean as if he wanted to ask what the thing had been that would try and keep him there, trapped in his own head, trapped in his deepest desire. But he wouldn't ask, and Dean knew that.

"You can make things real, can't you? Gabriel too, just like with this beer and those cigarettes. Is there any way..."

"No. Don't give in to thoughts like those, Dean. We need to pull this army up, and we can't afford to doubt anything. Okay?"

Dean saw those little faces one more time in his mind's eye. They had seemed so real, every quality, the things they said and did, the way they acted...he breathed out and tried to let it go.

"Atta boy," Cal said, giving Dean a pound on the back. "You're strong, Dean. Don't forget that." He stood up abruptly.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go around and check the other cabins and see where we stand. Keep on eye on this one, alright?" Dean nodded slightly and looked at the snowy ground.

_He_ might be strong enough, sure. But what about Cas and Sam? He turned around to go back inside, shutting the door behind him, and it felt better to be inside where it was sheltered and slightly warmer. He sat down wearily on one of the chairs and watched over the two people that he could never afford to lose. He silently urged them to get better, and cursed the other army for being so clever. Right now, he hoped his friend had the strength to escape their own beautiful prisons. And if they didn't...

Dean didn't even want to think about it. He didn't want to will that into reality.

_Screw reality_, Dean thought to himself as he tipped his beer back for another drink. It was strange that he was the one to watch over now, as the roles had always been reversed. He vowed to himself that they would wake up, and they would win. Everything was going to be fine, right?


	15. First Additions

Dean had been watching and waiting for the longest time. Again, time seemed to fade into something that was very obscure when he had no clock and no human functions, and no difference outside. He felt like it could have been watching for hours. He decided to not try and watch Earth again, in case he missed something. After hours and hours of keeping watch, Sam's eyelids finally began to fold open. Dean rushed over to crouch by his side.

"Sam. Sammy, wake up." When he looked into his eyes, he noticed that they were wild with a look that he had seen when the devil had been messing with his head. He found this strange if he was supposed to have just escaped his own personal paradise.

"Dean." He growled, standing up and flicking out his blade.

"Whoa! What the hell, Sam?!" He said throwing his hands up in front of him.

"You don't even want to know some of the shit that I just saw. And they all had to do with your big secret," He said, looking around with paranoid eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Dean repeated, genuinely confused.

"I just fought to get out from some of my worst nightmares, and you need to tell me right now what's going on, because I need to know it's not as bad as things I just saw."

Dean realized with a start. He vaguely remembered Calcifer saying it would be your deepest desire 'if you're lucky' before he'd passed out. This must have been the other end.

"I...Sam, I don't know if I can-" Dean started, but was interrupted.

"Why don't you trust me anymore, Dean?" Sam yelled, getting so worked up that there was a rumbling sound and a crack began to form under his feet.

"Why do I have to tell you everything?" Dean said, getting angry himself. He had been watching over Sam for the longest time and this was how he treated him when he woke up?

"Because we're brothers!" Sam bellowed, looking very upset. Dean could tell he stil had some cloudy judgement after getting out of a dream that felt so real, it had to mess with your head.

"I can tell you whatever I want whenever I want, Sam." Dean said, and the cabin's white canvases started to flap without any wind. "I don't need you to tell me what to do!"

"You're planning on killing me, aren't you?" Sam asked, his eyes shining with a crazy light. Dean remembered how hard it was to convince himself that what he had seen was not real. Maybe it was the same for Sam.

"What? No!" Dean barked in defense.

"Then why can't you just tell me?" Sam was extremely irritated now, and snow had begun to swirl outside and was hitting the canvas with dry splatters.

"I'm not ready." Dean said, quietly this time. Sam seemed to get a grip and the snow stopped hitting the tent. He calmed himself down, taking his blade back and looking at Dean with pleading, lucid eyes.

"Dean, please. We're all we've got. We're the only two who are going through this crazy shit together. I don't know what I'll do if I think you can't trust me."

Dean bit his lip. He had promised Castiel before the lockdown. _I'm going to tell Sam_, he'd told him. It felt like such a huge step to overcome. He took in a sharp breath. How the hell would he even start?

"Okay, Sam. Okay." Dean collapsed into the chair he'd been sitting in, keeping watch. For some reason he felt like he had been defeated.

He took in a deep breath and ran two hands through his hair, one after the other. "Okay. Okay, I'm going to tell you." He closed his eyes and breathed out all the air he could. This was really happening. Oh, god. He'd really have to tell him after all these years.

"Alright, Okay. Sam. Okay, I'm telling you. Sam, I'm... I'm in love with Castiel." He saw Sam's face drop from one of anticipation to one of relief, and he sort of had a look that somewhat said 'that's it?' Dean turned away, feeling instantly embarrassed. This was never supposed to be revealed to Sam, he was never supposed to know.

"Shit, I can't believe I just told you that." He rubbed his face as if he were trying to realize this was real. "I get it if you're embarrassed of me. I get it if you don't feel comfortable around me anymore, I guess I'll just move cabins or something." Dean couldn't even look his brother in the face, he was so shameful.

"Dean," Sam said softly.

"I tried to change, Sam. I really did, but I can't. I'm sorry that your older brother's gay. You don't have to call me your brother around other people if you don't want. If you think differently of me I could-"

"_Dean_," Sam spoke up again, a little bit louder this time.

"What, Sam? I get it, okay? Yeah, it's embarrassing. But I can't just make it go away. I tried my whole life for that. Sam, I really, _really_ love him. Not like anyone else before."

He finally worked up the courage to look Sam in the face, lifting his eyes from his palms.

Sam was _smiling_. He was wearing that peaceful, neutral little smile. "Dean, I don't think any of those things. I don't care who you love as long as they make you happy." He smiled even wider. "You could date your left foot and I wouldn't give a fuck if it made you happy." Dean couldn't help it. He laughed.

"Really? You're not, like, scared or me or something? You don't think I'm a freak?"

"Of course not," Sam said, coming over and wrapping Dean into his arms. Dean needed that. Dean stood up and they clung to each other, as if Sam knew how hard it had been to admit that to him.

"I'll always love you no matter what you do, Dean. Like you loved me even though I was drinking demon blood, still even when I didn't have a soul..." He laughed at that last word, as if that were so much harder than what was happening now that it was laughable. Dean buried his head into his shoulder, surprised that he thought for one second that he would hate him or shun him. They'd been through so much worse and still loved each other. Neither wanted to end it as they stayed silent for around a minute. Then, Sam spoke up softly again.

"You know, I've been waiting for you to tell me something like this for a long time. I think I've really always known." Sam said into his ear. Dean was astonished. He thought he'd always been good at covering his tracks, he'd only started to get sloppy once Cas had arrived.

Dean hugged him tight one last time before they let go.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Sam." He said, breathing in deeply. "God, I was so scared about what you would think of me. How you'd react." Sam looked at him with a sympathetic look.

"You've really been keeping it all bottled up this whole time?"

Dean nodded. "Shit, it's scary, Sammy." Sam put his hand on his shoulder and was going to say something else, but the door was busted open and Calcifer barged in.

"What the fuck is going on in here? Someone told me you two were getting in a fight, that snow was getting blown up and they heard wood cracking!" He looked surprised that they were calmly sitting there.

"Sam was fighting with me a minute ago, but it's all good now." Dean explained, looking at the crack in the floor that Sam had caused. He hoped the cold air wouldn't get in through it.

"Oh, shit." Calcifer said, looking to see that Castiel was still passed out on his bed. "He's still not up? He hasn't woken up at all yet?"

Dean looked kind of scared. "Well, no-"

"Are you serious? Dean, this is bad. It was supposed to be extremely temporary."

Dean knit his eyebrows together. "What does it mean if he hasn't woken up yet?"

"I mean, I just woke up like fifteen minutes ago." Sam added.

"That's probably why you were so disoriented and hostile, then. It's pretty amazing that you didn't kill anybody." Sam gave Dean a sideways glance as if to say sorry.

Cal got a worried look on his face. "He's pretty far gone. And judging by the looks of it, he's in a nightmare." Castiel's face was frowning as his eyes flicked from side to side under his eyelids.

"We'll need to take him into the ward." Calcifer said, as if it was a decision he really regretted.

"Whoa, hold on. What's that?" Dean said, not liking Calcifer's tone one bit.

"You didn't think Adam's was the only place for wounded angels, did you? The main field hospital is in Melchoir's camp. We need to take him there, and they'll do everything they can to wake him up. But if not..."

Both Dean and Sam's faces fell. "If not what?" Dean piped up, feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. He was just realizing his feelings for him, he couldn't lose him now.

"He could be gone for a long time. Killing the angel that manipulates his dreams might work, but that might not even be enough."

Dean suddenly felt an overwhelming surge of emotion. "He's not going without me." He said, looking at the rockily sleeping Castiel. "I'll go with him."

"Dean, it could be days before he even wakes up. And even after that, recovery could be even longer."

It was clear that Dean was not going to change his mind.

"Suit yourself," Cal said, and took Dean and Cas by the arms, and next thing they knew they were in a large building, with rows and rows of beds filled with angels lining the walls. Each foot of the bed had different signs; Lev bullet, Blade bullet, Blade wound. There were also other signs; Nightmare, along with a number showing how severe.

Dean gripped tightly onto Cas's arm, holding him completely upright as he leaned on him.

"Hello," Calcifer said to the angel nurse behind the check in.

"Let me guess, Nightmare?" She said, scribbling something on a piece of paper. Dean decided right then he was not going to abandon Cas. This place was overcrowded and overworked, and there was no way he was going to get the attention he needed.

"Um, excuse me, but I want to check in with him." Dean said, clearing his throat.

The girl looked up at Dean, and he immediately recognized her.

"Leilias?" He asked, shocked he'd run into her again.

"Dean! How are you?" She asked happily, her amethyst eyes shining as she smiled. "You look like you're adjusting well." Dean nodded, but his mind was on Cas alone.

"Look, is there any way I can stay with him here?" He said, afraid that they would deny him. He did not want to abandon Cas here by himself.

"I think I can do something for you," she said, glancing around. "Hold on just a second."

She left, and every second stretched to be like a year for Dean as he held onto the limp Cas, his fears growing larger and larger with each passing second. What if he lost him? He couldn't even fathom how crushed he'd be. He really, really loved him. He'd never felt that way about anyone else, and the closest thing he could compare it with was his love for Sam, but it was obviously different.

She ushered them in, and led them to the back of the hall where most of the beds were empty. She motioned to a bed, to which Dean put the resting Cas down extremely gently, making sure to hold his head. Leilias smiled at how kindly he was holding him.

"I suppose you could take a bed next to his, but I can't control if we might have to kick you out if we don't have enough beds. But as long as there is enough, you may stay." She said kindly, setting up a card detailing his illness at the posts at the foot of the bed. She walked away, and Dean set to work right away. He took one of the beds that was about three feet away from Cas's and pushed it to that it became one. He climbed onto it and looked into Cas's sleeping face, worry engulfing his whole body.

"So you're really going to stay," Calcifer said, looking at him in a peculiar way.

"I'm not leaving until he walks out of here with me." Dean replied, and Calcifer smiled slightly, finally understanding. He knew now that he loved him more than just as a friend.

"I admire your determination, Dean. I hope he gets well." With that, Calcifer had disappeared with the flapping of wings. Dean reached up and tucked a stray hair out of Cas's clammy, pale face.

"I'm not going to leave you, Cas." He said quietly, wondering if it would get through the nightmare he was having. "But I need you to fight for me, okay?"

He ran a gentle hand through Cas's dark locks. He didn't care who saw them, he didn't feel the least bit shameful or guilty anymore. He just didn't want to lose the man he loved so much. Dean knew that if he stayed with him, he'd be able to pull through. He had to.

* * *

Sam felt worried right when Cas and Dean had left his sight. He paced back and forth in the empty cabin a few times before finally giving in and going outside. His nightmare had seemed so real, so plausible. He couldn't believed he'd almost accused Dean of trying to kill him. He needed company, he needed his baby brother in his arms again.

He had wanted to get Samandriel right when Gabriel had returned, but that was when the sirens started firing and Cal had dragged him back to their cabin. He needed him now more than ever, he had a lot on his mind.

He couldn't believe how distressed Dean had been about telling him about Cas and him. And now Cas was very sick, and at the hospital. He hoped Dean wouldn't do anything rash or crazy. Sam realized now; there was nothing Dean wouldn't do for both him and Cas. Sam found that his feet had been leading him and he stood in front of a cabin that he could tell held Samandriel, but also Gabriel and Michael.

He went up to the stairs and opened the flaps. Michael and Gabriel immediately met his gaze.

"Hello, Samuel." Michael said, nodding toward him. He was looking so much better already, and almost all of his feathers had come in. But instead of lifting Sam's spirits, it made him fearful. Michael was definitely more powerful than he was now, and could easily kill him if he wanted to.

"Michael." Sam said back, nodding at him. He noticed that Samandriel was curled up next to him, smiling. They had been talking together.

The air suddenly felt a little bit thicker as they went longer staring at each other. Sam wanted to speak up first, but felt a little intimidated. He finally did speak up, looking at Samandriel the whole time.

"You look much better than before." He said with downcast eyes.

"Thanks. I've been getting better, thanks to these two." Samandriel beamed.

Sam felt overwhelmed. He was afraid of the things Michael could do to him for pulling him into hell.

"Look. I'm sorry I pulled you into hell, okay? I was trying to end everything that you were planning to do. I didn't think that they'd do this to you," Sam started to say, and still felt like it wasn't enough to cover what he had done. Michael had been tortured so badly, he could have turned into another devil. Sam didn't even want to picture what he had gone through.

"Ah. I see." Michael replied, looking peaceful as he dropped his head back onto the pillows. "You should not apologize to me, Samuel. I thought you were angry at _me_ because of your fate."

Sam realized that they had both been afraid of what the other thought. "Thank you for protecting me when we were down there." He added, remembering that he had been a shield to both him and Adam many times.

"Come in, Sam. Stop hanging around the doorway like a dog that's been kicked," Gabriel joked from the other side of the room. Sam came further into the cabin, and Samandriel scooted off the bed and ran to Sam, clinging to one of his legs, but not showing that he wanted to be picked up like he usually did. Sam felt a lot more confident with him by his side than he had been before.

"Did Andy get hit by the other angels?" Sam asked, seeing that the kid seemed perfectly fine.

"No. Not all of us were. I heard about Cas, though." Michael replied, sounding genuinely sorry. Maybe Michael wasn't that bad of a guy.

Sam averted his eyes. He was afraid about what might happen to Cas, and even more worried about how it would affect Dean.

"He'll pull through. Castiel has always had a strong will." Michael spoke up, trying to reassure Sam.

"Is there anything you can do for him?" Sam asked, and he realized that question was subconciously the main reason he'd come here.

"I'm afraid not." Michael answered him, looking at him with those marvelous emerald eyes. "It's up to him at this point."

Sam looked at Michael and suddenly didn't feel so afraid of him anymore. He reminded him a lot of Dean; maybe he could be a bit rough around the edges, but he had a kind heart. It must be a tough job being the oldest to a family of thousands, too. He didn't seem like too bad of a guy.

"If Dean's with him, he'll be okay. Castiel will try harder if he knows Dean's there." Michael said, smiling. Sam thought he'd hate Cas after Cas had fought him back after trying to get Dean to say yes. "I've never seen an angel fall that hard for a human before. And now that they're the same, Cas will pull through because of him." Sam felt a little bit reassured.

"Thank you, Michael." He said, reaching down to take Samandriel's little hand to leave.

"I meant the things I said. Don't worry so much, Samuel. Your brother and Cas will be fine." Sam smiled and turned to head out the door. The wind blasted in his hair, scrubbing his cheeks and tip of his nose. Was it just him, or had it gotten so much colder since the first day they'd arrived? He closed the door quickly, and started down the steps.

"Michael tells the best stories. You should ask him sometime," Andy piped up, smiling. "And I was helping him get better."

Sam stroked the little boy's hair, glad to have him for company. He'd probably rip his hair out if he was alone waiting for Dean and Cas to get back.

"Great job, Samandriel." Sam said, leading him by the hand to their cabin. Samandriel was quiet for a moment, a worried look on his face.

"What happened to Cas?" He asked quietly, looking like he feared for the worst. Sam pressed his lips together, not sure how to make it seem less bad.

"He's in the hospital. He's going to be okay, though." Sam kneeled down to pick up Andy and hold him to his chest like he usually did, as the kid was getting through the thick snow very slowly with his short and tiny legs, and Sam wanted to hold him for some extra comfort.

Right when Sam started to lift him, Samandriel let out a squeak and his eyes grew wide with fear and pain. He pushed the hands away and stumbled backward, tripping backwards and landing on his back on the thick snow.

"Samandriel!" Sam called, surprised and he rushed to help the little boy. "What's wrong? What hurts?"

The little kid sat up and rubbed a tear that popped into his eye. He pressed his lips together and shook his head quickly, wiping his other eye and rubbed his nose.

"I'm okay. I just lost my balance." Sam gave him a look. Dammit, he should spend a little less time around people who lied about things like that, like Dean and Michael. It was rubbing off on him.

"Don't lie to me, Andy. Tell me what's wrong," Sam scolded, helping the kid to stand up, extending a hand that he gripped onto.

"My...my back really hurts. My spine and my tailbone." He sniffed, gripping tightly to Sam's hand.

"How did this happen?" Sam asked, feeling like he knew exactly who the culprit was. Samandriel didn't say anything, and Sam mistook this as him being afraid to say who. In reality, Samandriel didn't know. One minute he'd been fine, and the next his whole spine had been throbbing like someone had taken a hammer to it. Especailly his tail bone, which felt like it had just exploded on its own accord and it throbbed with sharp pains. It had been hard to sit down. He'd felt okay when he went to lay next to Michael on the bed, but he had been too afraid to tell anyone about it.

"Come here," Sam said angrily, clenching his jaw tightly. He scooped up Samandriel quickly, making sure to avoid hurting his back, and made a B-line for the tent he'd just came from. Samandriel noticed and pounded on Sam's back. "It wasn't him! Sam, it wasn't him!"

Sam ripped the flaps aside, striding angrily up to Gabriel with an extremely angry expression. He pointed a finger accusingly in his face.

"_What did you do to him_?" He demanded, fire behind his eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gabriel responded, meeting him with an equally fierce gaze. "I haven't done anything to him."

"Why does he say his back hurts? I tried to pick him out and he was in a lot of pain, Gabe. So I'm going to ask you again, what the fuck did you do to him?" Sam said, narrowing his eyes even more. Just when he had begun to trust him, and he goes and hurts his baby brother _again. _

To Sam's astonishment, Gabriel started _laughing. _Sam was too shocked to do anything when he took Samandriel from his arms and held him, smiling at Sam.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?" Sam said, feeling anger building in his chest. Gabriel stroked his hair, and Samandriel looked up at him, confused.

"Sam, nothing's wrong with him. He's perfectly fine. In fact, this is a good thing." Gabriel smiled at the little boy and stroked his hair again. "I've missed having a little brother. I almost forgot that it happens right about now."

"Samuel, why don't you sit down? I assure you everything is fine." Michael said, getting up himself and stiffly, his wings still drooped but he was looking a lot better, as he walked over to where Gabriel sat. Sam was somewhat reassured by the eldest angel. He dragged another chair over, offering Sam a chair. There was no mistaking that brotherly look in Michael's face as he sat down and gazed at Samandriel.

The little boy blushed when he noticed that all eyes where on him. "I...I didn't think I needed to tell anyone." He tried to say, and Sam felt a little bitter stir in his chest. He was just like Dean in that way.

"You'll be fine, Andy. It's just your First Addition coming in." Gabriel said, looking at him with smiling eyes. Both Sam and Samandriel looked extremely confused.

"What's that?" Samandriel asked, leaning his head to the side. Gabriel looked a little bit sad all of the sudden. Sam could tell that he was grieving over all of Samandriel's brothers and sisters who had been lost.

"I forgot that your childhood was not like most angels. They learn about these things right away. The same goes for you, Sam." Gabriel started, stroking Samandriel's white wing tips gently. He was so proud of this little boy, what a good kid.

"As you both know, before this war started, angels were much different. We looked different. The animal parts you see on angels from the other side were what everyone looked like. We grew into beautifully complex beings, our additions adding embellishment and showing our age, power and greater showing what our personalities were like. All the angels you see looking like humans shed these grows down to our core forms, which is mostly human, except for the wings. Well, it's not like we turned like that overnight. There's a first for everything, right?"

Sam and Samandriel suddenly understood. Samandriel was going to be getting some sort of animal part added onto his body soon. They both looked a little bit freaked out.

Gabriel sighed, shaking his head. "I can get why you don't like the idea, the only other angels that look like that are our enemy. I wish it weren't like that, because additions can be a wonderful thing. The First one especially. Angels don't have many celebrations, but this is the only one we hold on a personal level. First Additions represent the difference between angel and human, and that is when they are officially welcomed into the family. It's very ceremonious, almost like...hm, what can I compare it to for you, Sam. It's like a bar mitzvah, representing a transition in an angel's life from looking mostly human to angel. In fact, you and Dean should be getting yours coming in soon as well. Samandriel is only about a month older than you two."

"We'll _what?" _Sam exclaimed, feeling shock rush through his whole body. This was going to happen to him and Dean too?

Gabriel smirked. "Sam, this is a _good _thing. It means we can officially bring you into the angel family, and you'll meet almost all of your brothers and sisters. Doesn't that sound good?" He looked to the side, rubbing his chin as he thought. "We'll have to change the name, though." He said under his breath.

Sam crossed his arms and sat back into his chair. "I'm not changing my name," He said, stubbornly. "I wasn't talking about you, relax. Samuel is a fine name." Gabriel rolled his eyes in a joking manner. "I was talking about Dean. An angel named Dean." He chuckled under his breath.

"So what exactly happens? I can get rid of whatever happens to me, right?" Sam said, feeling anxiety growing down in the pit of his stomach. Wings he could deal with. But other stuff? Just random crap actually _growing _off of his body? He shuddered.

"I suppose, but I don't see why you'd want to. It's an extension of your body, it's one hundred percent you and it even represents your personality. You wouldn't get rid of those wings, would you?"

Sam shuffled his brown wings, realizing that they had grown to feel very natural, like they were a part of him. "I guess not. But how do I know what's going to happen? Does it hurt?"

"Only a little. It doesn't hurt anymore after the first one." He said, looking to the little kid on his lap again. The little boy seemed very worried. "Don't worry your little head, kiddo. You'll be fine." He slid him gently off of his lap so that he could stand on his two feet.

"Come on back when you start seeing changes. We have a whole ritual that we have to go through for the First Additions. Typically archangels are the ones who introduce the young ones to the family. Then, we give them a few days to get the family's blessings." Gabriel roughed the kid's hair one more time.

"Some of my siblings can be a huge pain in the ass. But whenever I get to do this, it pays off." He smiled, and Sam stood up roughly. Great, just one more thing on his plate. Just what he needed.

"Relax, Sam. You'll be fine. See you later," Gabriel bid them farewell, whipping a lollipop out of nowhere and popping it into his mouth. Sam gently touched Samandriel's back and led him from the cabin without a word.

He walked back slowly with his little brother, not minding how slow he had to walk for him to keep pace. He stared straight ahead, still trying to absorb what had been said. Samandriel trotted up to his side and grabbed his hand.

"It's not that bad," He tried to reassure him. "I already feel better."

Sam still was lost in thought. Sure, he'd been told what was going on and he was still freaked out. But what about Dean? If he started feeling any pain, it was extremely unlikely that he would tell anyone. What would happen to him if he didn't get back before things started happening? Samandriel was thinking the same thing.

"Is Dean with Cas?" He asked, clearly thinking as well. "Yeah. I don't think he's coming back without him, so he might be there for a while." Sam replied. He wondered how his brother was holding up at the moment.

"We should go and visit them." Samandriel said, lifting his tiny legs up high to clear the deep snow. "I want to see if they're okay."

"Me too, bud. We'll go soon, okay?" Sam promised, helping his little brother get over the deep pile of snow by the first step of their cabin, a big drift from when the snow had been kicked up when he'd gotten angry earlier. He wondered how he was doing, how they both were doing. Even with his little brother, he felt alone and scared. He shot off a silent prayer for Dean and Cas to return soon.

* * *

**Hello readers! I hope you liked the new chapter. Try and guess what Sam & Dean's First Additions will be and you'll find out if you're right in the next chapter! Also, thanks to FireChildSlytherin5 for the suggestion about changing names, it helped lead to my idea! Please review :)**


	16. Hobbes & Bullwinkle

Meanwhile, Dean was causing quite a stir in the hospital ward. Unknown to him, the nurses who worked there were sending more angels to humans like Adam for care, not wanting Dean to be forced to leave. They all gossiped to each other, thinking that the two were the sweetest things ever.

Dean refused to leave Castiel's side for one moment, even when the nurses offered him things or had to work on Cas alone. It had been almost two days of him never leaving his side, he never got up once. They'd often peek over at the two of them, Castiel looking sickly and pale as Dean stayed by his side, his ankles crossed over Castiel's, as he sometimes ran a hand through his hair or would talk quietly into his ear, his eyes still shining with bright hope as he looked up at that pale face.

The nurses had taken a quick break and were clustered together, talking. One of them glanced over at Castiel and Dean.

"That's true love for you," One of the nurses said, looking at the two of them. "Did you know that the one on the left used to be human? Not too long ago, either. I heard about it from Leilias."

"I heard about that! He and his brother, they sealed hell, didn't they?"

All the nurses looked over at the two angels and smiled. "How sweet. It would be a shame if Castiel didn't wake up. A real shame." They dispersed again, circling the ward and checking up on their patients.

With each passing hour Dean felt more and more sour and afraid. At first he had tried to just sit there in silence, but now he found himself talking often to his friend, not knowing whether or not it ever got through to him. He didn't want to leave him for one second, but his back was starting to ache and he really wanted to get up and stretch and walk around, but he kept convincing himself not to.

"You want to know something kind of stupid? When I got out of purgatory, all I could find myself eating were burgers. And I think it's kind of because they reminded me of you." He told Castiel quietly, he chuckled and closed his eyes. There was obviously no response from Castiel.

"Please, Cas. You have to try to get out, please try. I might not know what I'm talking about because I had a good dream, but I know that it seems real. Godammit, it felt so real. I had these beautiful kids...and I had to abandon them. But I know that it's not real, it's only a trap."

Dean stroked his hair again and felt his forehead. It was cold and clammy. He closed his eyes and went to watch places on Earth, because it helped him feel better and was a way to occupy his time as he waited for he didn't know how long.

He liked going to crowded ice skating rinks, it was second best to the town Castiel had shown him. He'd already gone back there twice, and he figured he needed to try other places too.

He liked seeing friends holding hands and strangers helping little kids who slipped. He liked that people tried to be happy while they were on the ice, and he loved it when kids made contraband snowballs and would get caught. He liked watching as people finally took off their skates and chatted happily with those around him.

But yet again, he found himself returning to their little town afterwards. That would make it three times in the past two days.

It was raining this time, quite hard, as the town was illuminated under a bright gray-white sky and water pounded down on the roads and rushed down the edges of the sidewalks. Barely anyone was out and about today, and most window lights were on. Dean stood underneath the awning of the coffee shop, listening to the rain patter down on it.

"Why do you come here so often?" He heard a soft, aged voice pipe up from behind him. He spun around and saw an older woman, dressed in shabby clothes with frazzled hair. She looked homeless or at least extremely poor, and had taken shelter under the awning.

"Yes, I'm talking to you dear. People in this town already think I'm crazy. So why don't you sit down and we'll chat? You seem worried."

Dean came and sat down slowly. He looked into her face, which didn't seem like anything special. But for some reason she was one of the humans who could see and hear angels.

"You've got lovely wings," she smiled at him, tightening her dirty coat around her at a gust of wind.

"Thanks." Dean replied, his mind already beginning to return with worry for Cas. Maybe having a good old two-sided conversation would be good for him. He hadn't had anyone talk back to him in days.

"Is something going to happen here? Is that why you come here so often?" The woman asked softly, looking a bit fearful.

"Oh, no. Nothing's going to happen. It's just that this used to be my friend's favorite place to come. And he's very sick right now, and I guess coming here helps me feel closer to him." Dean admitted, looking out to the rain blowing down sideways and hammering the streets, scrubbing away all the filth. He was happy he could still smell that rainy scent.

"Ah. That dark haired fellow, always dressed so professionally. Is that who you're talking about?"

Dean was surprised she'd known.

"Yeah. He's not doing so well," Dean said, feeling a rush in his nose when he said it aloud. Damn, he was scared.

"I've been living here twenty years and I always saw him pop in sometimes. Then, I saw he brought a friend a few days ago. Then, I've seen more of you in the past couple of days than I've seen of him in five years. So, I had to ask."

Dean felt a little embarrassed that he'd been caught in the act.

"You seem to really care about him." The lady said softly, smiling at him.

"I do," Dean replied, wanting to say more. It was kind of hard to know where they stood, Dean didn't know if Cas was angry at him for the way he'd lashed out at him. He didn't know if they would be considered boyfriends... Dean didn't like that word at all. It made him seem like a lovesick teenage girl. No, he felt like they had something more important than that. Finally, he finished his sentence. "I'm kind of in love with him."

The lady smiled a huge smile, revealing that her teeth were peculiarly straight and beautiful. "Oh, dear. How wonderful!"

Dean found it strange that the second person he'd ever told about his new relationship was a homeless stranger. He smiled internally.

"I do hope he gets better. I'll probably be seeing you again," she said, flashing him that smile. She could have been pretty if she cleaned up a little. She seemed like she would be a pleasant little old lady. He did feel a little bit better after talking to someone. She had been so kind too.

Dean returned softly back to the ward as the little town just seemed to fade away around him. He looked into Cas's face again, not expecting it to change. The nurses actually kept time here, it was important when determining how long things would take. And it had been almost two and a half days that Cas hadn't shown any signs of waking. Dean felt regret stirring deep within his stomach. He felt like such an idiot for pushing Cas away when he'd finally remembered. He wished it could have been less hard to admit to himself so that he would have had more time with Cas before all this happened, they'd just forgiven each other, and Dean hoped that wasn't the last thing he'd ever do with Cas.

He saw his eyelids stir. Dean's whole body went rigid with shock, which hurt his spine and tailbone. He guessed that it probably hurt because he'd done nothing but lie around for the past two and a half days also.

Dean thought for a second he'd imagined the tiny crinkling on his eyelids, because nothing happened for a little bit after that. But then, it happened again. They were twitching ever so slightly, struggling to lift like they weighed a thousand pounds.

"Cas," Dean said quietly, reaching out to run his fingers gently through his hair. "Cas, wake up. I'm right here."

Dean began to see just the tiniest of openings as his eyelashes wavered like a butterfly's wings. Finally, he put out that final push, folding open his eyelids and looking right at Dean with those deep blue eyes that he hadn't seen in days.

Dean's face broke immediately into a huge smile and he felt like his chest was puffing up so quickly it might burst. He kept his hand on the side of Castiel's head, and he softly leaned in and gave him a kiss right on the lips. It took a second for Cas to get the strength to respond, but he weakly kissed back, extending his neck and pushing into Dean. Dean pulled away softly and smiled at him. He felt tears coming to his eyes as he looked at him.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked gently, not wanting to look away from his face.

"Like hell," Cas graveled, blinking slowly and looking around. He seemed exhausted. "But that was nice."

Dean smiled again, reaching out and holding one of Cas's hands lightly. "Cas, I told Sam." He said, stretching his dark gold wings to try and stretch out his back.

"That's wonderful," He replied softly, blinking slowly again. He was silent for a moment, and it was clear that he was still very tired and it was hard for him to talk. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, coming up next to Dean and resting his head on his shoulder. He still didn't look so good; his face was extremely pale and shone with a sheen of cold sweat.

"Dean," he suddenly choked out, scared. He rushed to roll to the side of the bed and started retching. "Cas? Cas, are you okay?" Dean quickly got up and sat by the edge of the bed with him. Cas hunched his back as he gagged, and silver blood poured from his throat and splattered onto the floor.

"Cas! Holy shit! Nurse!" Dean rubbed his back gently and looked around for a nurse. "It's going to be okay, bud. Just hang on." Castiel dry heaved one more time and sat up, leaning exhaustedly onto Dean and resting his head on his shoulder. This seemed to be one of his favorite places to be.

"Am I going to get better?" He asked quietly, holding one of Dean's hands with a clammy one of his.

"Yes, I promise." Dean said, leaning his cheek on his head of hair. It was gross and moist, but Cas was comforted by it so he kept it there.

"His mind is still in shock," one of the nurses said calmly, coming up to them. "His mind will try to do functions to clear his body of toxins, because it cannot differentiate between physical or mental illness at this point." She examined Castiel, taking his limp head between her hands and looking at his bloodless skin and glazed eyes that were struggling to stay open. Castiel groaned and his head lolled, finally resting on Dean's shoulder again.

"Is he going to be okay?" Dean asked, comfortingly squeezing his hand.

The nurse was taking something out of her pocket, not meeting Dean's eyes. "I think so. Just give him some time. He needs rest." She brought out a cube of glowing white, holding it with a pair of silver tongs.

"Here. Give me his hand," She said, and Dean lifted the heavy arm to extend Castiel's clammy palm. She put the cube in it, and it started to melt like dry ice, the wisps of white swirling off it instantly absorbing into his skin.

"Condensed healing energy. It may or may not help, but we can try." Dean curled Cas's fingers so he could grip onto it. "And here, just in case." She handed him a wooden bowl. "Thank you," He said, looking straight at the nurse. She gave him a reassuring smile and was on her way.

"Ughhh. I don't feel so good," Castiel groaned, slurring his words.

"Do you want to lie down?" Dean asked, surprised at how nice he sounded. He wasn't usually Mr. Sweetheart.

"No, no. It makes it worse," Castiel said pitifully, and Dean gave him the wooden bowl, which he gripped onto weakly. "I want to listen, Dean. Tell me about your dream. Tell me about the kids."

Dean felt his chest stir. "They were the most beautiful kids I've ever seen. There was the oldest, he was five. God, he was beautiful. He had these green eyes and black hair. Would have been a lady killer, that's for sure. Robbie, that was his name. Robert John Winchester."

"What a nice name," Castiel said vacantly. He coughed and retched, a tiny viscous bit of silver fell into the bowl. Dean rubbed his back and pressed his lips together. "Sure you want me to keep talking?" Dean said quietly. "Please," Castiel said, leaning his head back again.

"You should have seen the way he treated his little brother, Cas. He was such a good boy. Leoniel Samuel, that was the little brother. He had dark blonde hair and freckles, and these huge blue eyes. He was three, but such a little baby like Sammy was. Then there was baby Mary Ellen. She looked like my mom, with gorgeous sky blue eyes and blonde hair. She was the most beautiful little girl," Dean felt tears come to his eyes. He wished he had stayed. He really really wished he had stayed, even now.

"They were mine too, weren't they?" Cas asked softly. Dean realized how strange that might sound. He nodded, feeling his tears spill out again. They weren't real. They would never be real, ever. He needed to move on. But the looks on their faces when he left, the way Robbie made sure to grab Leo's hand before coming up to him, he couldn't believe how clear the details had been.

Dean looked over, and saw that Cas was crying too. Tears slipped down his pale face quickly, as it had already been moist and tears slid easily down its surface.

"Why are you crying?" Dean asked, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"I..I don't know." He said, looking up at Dean. "I'm no shit Sherlock." Dean got it right away; he meant he was a Sherlock with no shit, or a bad detective. In other words, another way to say 'I don't know.' But Dean couldn't help but break into a smile at the completely wrong context.

"Did you just make a joke?" He asked happily, laughing. Castiel began laughing too, and everyone around them must have thought they were crazy from switching from crying to laughing in the blink of an eye. He realized how silly it was to cry over a stupid dream.

They looked at each other and kept laughing, Castiel chuckled and buried his head into Dean's shoulder, embarrassed by his failed attempt at a joke. When he finally looked up, Dean was looking at him with a big smile.

"I feel much better now." Castiel said, assuring him.

"Let's go home, Cas. I'm getting sick of it here." Dean said, slowly making his way off the edge of the bed, stretching his legs finally. His tailbone and lower spine throbbed, but he was sure it was only temporary. It had fallen asleep or something.

Dean carefully helped Cas climb off the bed. "Can you stand?" He asked, surprising himself again at how caring he sounded. "I think so," he replied, swaying a little. "I might need a little help."

Dean took his hand and he leaned just a little on him, they both had accomplished smiles on like they'd just finished a marathon.

Suddenly, the whole ward was filled with clapping and cheering. Everywhere they looked, nurses smiled at them and cheered. All of them had been rooting for them from the sidelines, unknown to Dean. He remebered what he had said before- that he was not leaving here unless Cas was with him. Dean felt his face get a little hot from all the attention, but he couldn't stop smiling.

"Thank you for all your help," Dean told the lady at the sign in once they'd made it to the entrance, passing everyone who had been rooting for them.

She laughed. "Don't thank me. You did most of it yourself. Why else do you think they're clapping? That was really something," She flashed them a smile, before they finally disappeared. A few nurses had gotten a little misty eyed and hugged one another, taking a moment to be happy for them before they finally got back to work.

* * *

"Sam. Sam, please get up." Samandriel begged his older brother, gently pushing his shoulder. Sam had curled up on the cabin's bed and hadn't moved much, his head-splitting headache had prevented him from being able to visit the hospital. The two brothers had curled up together, trying to endure their first additions together as peacefully as possible.

"Sam." He said again, and Sam finally opened his eyes and screwed up his face.

"You okay, bud?" He asked, gripping onto his head. At least it was only painful the first time, because this really sucked.

"I...I think it's over." Samandriel said, getting a hold of Sam's huge arm with two of his, trying to pull him up with all his strength.

Sam rubbed his forehead one last time and finally got a look at his baby brother. Where nothing had been yesterday, there was a long-haired dog tail, pure white to match his wings, looking like a Samoyed's. Sam broke into a smile. It was pretty cute.

Samandriel saw that he was smiling and his tail wagged happily. Okay, it was really cute.

"Gabriel said to go to his tent, remember?" Samandriel reminded him. They both wondered what he was going to do, how this ceremony he was talking about was going to happen.

"Okay, little puppy. Let's go," Sam laughed, scooping up Samandriel who had his arms over his head, begging to be picked up.

"Hey! Now I get to make fun of yours," Samandriel piped up, frowning. "And I like it."

Sam laughed. "I like it too, bud."

They began walking over to the cabin, and Sam was squinting hard from the bright white light that was hurting his head. He picked up his long legs to try and get there as soon as possible. He set Samandriel down on the steps and went up to the entrance.

They pushed into the cabin and Gabriel stood up, smiling. "Ah. I figured it would be any day now. Me and Michael here were putting bets on what it was going to be."

Michael waved that comment away. "No, we weren't. Stop lying, Gabe."

Gabriel rolled his eyes at his older brother for giving him away.

"Let me see," Gabriel said with a smile as Samandriel peeked out from behind Sam's leg. He came forward and Gabriel grinned.

"I knew it would be something like that. Now, come here. Let me tell you how this works." Samandriel went to sit on his lap, wagging that little white tail.

"So, I, as an archangel, am going to officially welcome you into our family. Then I'll temporarily give you a ringlet to show that in the next few days, you'll be getting blessings from every angel you meet. After your ringlet fades, then it's over and you're officially inaugurated."

"But what do you mean by blessing?" Samandriel asked, and Sam was glad he did because he was extremely confused as well.

"Just like this," Gabriel said, and lightly touched the kid's forehead with two fingers.

"That's it?" Samandriel asked, looking skeptical.

"It feels different once I give you the ringlet. Now, come on, kid. Let's go get this over with, hm?"

A few hours later, a small crowd had come to watch Samandriel's First Addition ceremony as they stood outside. Sam now understood what he meant by bar mitzvah, and it wasn't the fun party afterwards that he was talking about. Gabriel spoke in low tones in perfect Enochian as he held his hand to Samandriel's forehead. It was mainly a speech, but sometimes he would ask Samandriel a yes or no question. This part didn't last too long, as the whole ceremony wasn't that long either.

Gabriel finished talking, took his hand off of the kid's forehead and smiled. _Welcome to_ _your family, Samandriel._ He said, and the language was easily understood by Sam, but he could tell right away it wasn't english or Enochian. It sounded very rich and full, and if Enochian sounded like lace this sounded like richly carved baroque columns and inhumanly beautiful art. It sounded like a language God would speak, Sam thought to himself.

Gabriel pinched his thumb and pointer finger together, and swiftly drew them in a quick circle around Samandriel's head. An extremely thin, gold glowing line appeared when his fingers passed with a metally sound, like a knife sharpening or a sword being drawn. The little boy looked up with wonder in his bright gray eyes.

The angels finally cheered, and Samandriel beamed and wagged that little tail. Gabriel gently pushed him toward the crowd, where angels immediately began touching his forehead, patting him on the back and congratulating him before leaving. Sam lost him in the crowd for a few minutes before he finally spotted him again, and the little kid made straight for Sam, running into his arms and smiling extremely widely. A few angels who were about to give him blessing chuckled and changed directions, coming up and touching his head lightly as Sam held him. He noticed that Samandriel got a look of glee every time he got a new blessing.

"What does that feel like?" He asked, wondering what the whole ceremony would be like in first person. He'd probably find out in a few days, as his head was throbbing painfully.

"Like a huge hug. Or that feeling you get in your chest when something makes you really happy," the kid tried to explain. "And I feel like I want to get as many as possible, and I feel like I really meet every one who does personally."

Sam tried it himself, bringing his hand up and touching him right between the eyebrows with two fingers. Samandriel smiled and pulled himself into a hug.

"I'm glad that I was told to find you and Dean. And I'm glad that you're in my family now." Sam smiled and smoothed his hair down. He was glad too.

He closed his eyes, trying to distract himself from his throbbing head, telling himself it would be over any day now. But what about Dean? He wondered how he was holding up. He'd get pretty freaked out if he didn't get back in time.

"I think I need to go and lie down," Sam said, touching his head gingerly at a particularly harsh rush of pain. He ran his hand through his hair and felt that his skin had began to bulge slightly above his ears. He shuddered, still a tiny bit freaked out, naturally. But after what he saw today, he felt it wouldn't be too bad in the end.

"Let's go home," Samandriel agreed, and Sam stood up slowly, sliding the kid off of his lap. On the way back to their cabin, a lot of angels passed by Samandriel, pausing to smile and give him their blessing.

"I can't wait for your turn, Sam! This is so exciting. I wonder what is going to happen to you?" He said, happily squeezing Sam's hand. Sam shut his eyes and rubbed his head again, almost tripping up the steps to their cabin.

He got inside and collapsed on the bed right away, holding his head in his arms.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Samandriel said quietly, gently touching him on the arm. "I could stay and help," He said sadly, trying to shoot off his tiny amount of healing energy, which didn't help at all.

"I'll be fine, Andy. Why don't you go out and meet more brothers and sisters?" Sam said softly, trying to block out all light and closing his eyes tightly.

"Okay, I-"

Suddenly there was a crash and Sam knew without looking that it had to be Castiel and Dean. He really didn't want to get out of his position, but he unfolded his arms and went to look.

The two of them were holding hands, smiling and talking about something about cheers. Sam wanted to get up and hug them, but his head hurt so damn much. He tried to push through the pain and stumbled to get over to them. He wrapped them in a big hug and squinted to look at their faces.

"I'm so happy to see you're okay," He said, reaching up to touch his head again.

"You alright, Sam?" Dean asked, clearly worn out from so many days spent making sure Castiel was okay.

"It's a long story," Sam said, curling back up on the bed and shielding his head.

"Anything hurt on you?" He asked quietly. Dean wondered if he meant his sore back.

"I guess my back does. But that's just because I haven't stood in the past three days," He said, trying to convince himself. Sam shook his head. "No Dean, it's different. Ask Gabe. Or ask Cas." He turned over, clearly not wanting to be disturbed.

Dean looked to where Castiel was. He had pulled Samandriel into his lap, and was smiling as he touched two fingers to his forehead.

"How exciting, Samandriel." He said, and that was when Dean noticed something white and moving that weren't his wings.

"What is that?" Dean asked, pointing to the white dog tail.

Sam groaned from behind him, angry at the loud noise.

"Oh, my. It might take a while to explain to you." Cas said, looking up at Dean and understanding. "Your back hurt in the hospital but you never told me, did you?"

Dean nodded, but didn't see how this had to do with anything.

"By why does he have a tail? And what is that gold thing? And why did you touch him like that?"

Sam was irritated as Castiel sat down and told Dean everything. He found that he could not sit down straight without being in extreme pain, so he opted to lie on the couch. Sam winced at the sharp noises when Dean uttered "_what_?" or "are you kidding me?"

"Does every angel go through this?" Dean asked, glancing back at Sam as he was curled in pain.

"Yes," Castiel replied, bouncing Andy on his knee lightly as the kid laughed and made a game of how far he could dangle without being thrown off.

"So even you went through it?" He asked, jumping to conclusions. "So what happened to you?"

Cas smiled, thinking back. "Wow, it was such a long, long time ago. I believe for me it was ram horns." He said, smiling serenely as he thought back to the days of when he had been so little.

Dean tried to picture a two or three year old Cas with ram horns sprouting from his dark hair and throwing him off balance. He laughed aloud.

"Is there any way to tell what will happen to me or Sam?" He asked, glancing at Sam again.

"No. But you'll be finished in a few days."

Dean went over to Sam, gently touching his arm.

"How you holding up, bud?" He asked in a voice of normal volume.

"Shut up!" Sam groaned, turning away from him again.

"Sheesh. So-rry."

Dean found that it would definitely be hard to sit down now, not realizing how bad it had gotten because he'd done nothing but lie down before. He went to lie down on the couch, curling in the most comfortable way for his aching spine and throbbing tailbone. He closed his eyes and thought for a second.

Coming back here reminded him of when Cas had shown him the city, when he had tried to apologize. He spoke up, he needed to tell him what he thought.

"Cas, I just wanted to say I'm sorry again. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. But I know now that this is who I am, even though it was hard to admit to myself at first. Thank you for being so patient with me," He said, feeling his heart give a little squeeze. Cas was so good to him, he couldn't imagine how a jerk like him could ever get a guy as sweet as him.

"Of course," Castiel said, his eyes crinkling in little lines. He walked over and gently touched Dean's shoulder, as Dean closed his eyes and felt his lower spine throb painfully.

"Take care of yourself and Sam, okay? It will be over soon." Castiel said, trying to be reassuring. Dean kept his eyes closed and nodded. He had been so occupied with caring for Cas that it had not felt as bad as it really was until now.

Castiel took Samandriel by the hand, and started to lead him to the door. Dean heard the footsteps pause at the entrance, he was probably looking back at Sam and Dean. Dean breathed as slowly in and out as he could, each push of his diaphragm lead to a dull pang in his spine.

"I love you," Castiel called to Dean, in his calm and beautifully sweet voice.

Dean's face immediately broke into a huge smile. He felt his chest puff up and his face get a little hot.

"I love you too, Cas." He replied, that feeling in his chest coming clearly through his words. God, he was so happy. He made him so fucking happy. He sighed happily, feeling like his smile wouldn't go away for a while. The footsteps went out the door, and the flaps fell back into place. Dean heard the faintest of crunching of snow, and a female voice. "Congratulations, Samandriel! Welcome to the family," she said, and Dean heard Andy pipe up a thank you in his little high-pitched voice. That fuzzy feeling still didn't leave Dean's chest.

"God, you're lovedrunk." Sam joked from the back of the room, and Dean smiled even wider.

"Shut the fuck up, Sam." He replied, but he was sounding like he was about to burst into laughter.

"Seriously, you should see the crap you're putting out into the air. It's sickening," Sam said sarcastically, and Dean couldn't help but laugh.

"He really makes you happy, doesn't he Dean?" Sam asked quietly.

"Yeah," Dean replied, turning again to try and reposition his spine.

"You deserve to be happy, Dean. I watched you drink and sleep around with women and get more sad each time in some vicious cycle. I'm glad you finally found that person." Sam said genuinely, and Dean was a little surprised that he had noticed how much he had been hurting back then.

"Thanks, Sammy. That means a lot." The two were quiet for a while. Poor Sam had spoken up even though it must have really hurt his head to do so. But he'd really wanted to tell Dean how happy he was for him. Dean smiled to himself, not minding the pain for a second. He was happier than he'd been in a long, long time. Things were finally falling into place for him.

* * *

Sam and Dean stood side by side in Gabriel's tent. Gabriel was grinning at them, drumming his fingers together. "I'm surprised you both developed yours earlier than most kids. And at the exact same time, how peculiar. It must have to do with your connection to each other."

Samandriel had come inside and was sitting on Michael's lap, smiling at his two older/younger brothers. Time and becoming angels had sort of screwed around with that concept. Michael looked almost back to a hundred percent,his six white wings looked almost completely smoothed out, and he was smiling more easily these days. Silver blood didn't leak out of his wounds anymore, and he mostly just had thick scars to show for what had happened.

"Nice headgear, Bullwinkle." Dean said under his breath, teasing Sam.

"Yeah, well, nice tail Tigger." Sam quipped back, giving Dean a sideways glance and a smirk.

"Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" Dean teased.

"Rudolph's a reindeer, smartass." Sam laughed. "But I heard he likes cereal. Something about it being grrreat?"

"Shut up, Sam!" Dean said, whipping his long, striped orange-and-black tail to hit Sam lightly on the back.

"Whatever you say, Hobbes." Sam replied, surpressing a huge laughing fit.

"Tigers have way more pop culture references than mooses, Sam! No fair!" He whipped him playfully with his tail again. It was kind of fun. "Bitch."

"Jerk," Sam replied, punching him lightly on the shoulder. They were both sort of just happy that the pain had ended and they weren't miserable anymore.

"Would you two be quiet for one damn second? I need to ask you something important." Gabriel interrupted their playful fight, looking at them with a heavy glance.

"Michael has asked to be the one to lead both of your ceremonies. He feels that he needs the opportunity to try and reconcile with both of you, and he dosen't want to loose touch with his newest brothers and sisters." Gabriel explained.

The brothers exchanged a more serious glance. Michael had obviously wronged them in the past, big time. But Sam looked into his face now and didn't see anything bad, he seemed eager to help his family again after being exiled to the cage. And Sam could tell he really loved and cared for every member of his family.

"I guess that's alright." Dean said, speaking up before Sam could say anything. Michael smiled and nodded at him. "Thank you, Dean. And I'm proud to welcome you to the family as well."

"But he better not give me a dumb name," Dean said under his breath just to Sam. Sam burst out laughing.

"Alright, let's get this over with, you two. There's still a war going on, remember?"

Sam and Dean had quite a crowd when it came down to it. It was mainly because most angels wanted to see the esteemed brothers, who had supposedly been destined to be tools for the apocalypse, and who had gone from humans to angels after being the ones to seal hell.

Many angels knew about them, it's not exactly easy to be in the shadows after a track record like that. Others just thought that this was going to turn into an event that would still be talked about a long time from now. Not many saints chose to be angels, after all. And there had certainly not been blood brothers before.

"We are here today to welcome these two angels officially into our family and hearts." Michael started, looking at them both almost proudly with his gemstone irises. He extended both of his palms to rest on the brother's foreheads, and they both solemnly closed their eyes and listened to his speech, sometimes saying yes or no in unison.

Michael went on in his pleasently low, rolling voice about angel values and what it meant to be in a community that doubled as a family. He talked about how angels had to be focused watchdogs in one moment and fierce warriors the next.

He said a few more things and finally took his hands off of their foreheads. He looked at both of them, a smile crinkling his eyes up. He pressed his fingers together and came up to Sam.

_Welcome to your family, Samuel. _Michael said in that rich, full language, which sent pleasant shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and slightly dipped his head, hearing a sound like a sharpening knife move in a 360 arc aroud his head. He opened his eyes when the crowd cheered, seeing a golden thread just in the corner of his eye.

Michael moved to Dean, and put a hand on his shoulder before speaking up. Sam understood. He had been destined to be Michael's sword, but now he would be calling him a brother.

Michael moved to stand in front of Dean, who tipped his head down slowly, expecting him to draw his ringlet. Michael pinched his fingers together and smiled genuinely.

_Welcome to your family, Deanaeus. _He quickly circled Dean's head, leaving behind that golden thread-like ring. Dean felt a shiver down his spine from the beautiful, old language, but upon hearing his real name for the first time as well. Dee-nay-ous. He liked the way that sounded, he liked that he felt like it fit him.

The crowd cheered again, loudly for both of them this time. Castiel stood as close to the front as he could, as he cheered loudly and clapped. Samandriel had begged him to sit on his shoulders so he would be able to see. The kid was trying to make a much noise as possible as he smiled, cheered and clapped, his wings shuffling happily and his tail whipping from side to side. His ringlet was barely there anymore, and it had faded so that it was only visible under some light or in some angles, like a spider's web. Calcifer stood in the very front, he was clapping quickly and grinnning. He liked the two person ceremony, he wanted to consider it for his twins. Gabriel was just a few people away, and he was smirking and slow clapping. Winchesters. Was there anything they wouldn't do?

Dean and Sam smiled shyly and went straight into the jubilant crowd, who began happily blessing them and patting them on the backs. Sam lost sight of Dean for a while, he was lost in the sea of people. But when they locked eyes again, they instantly understood each other. Dean winked, grinning, before he was swallowed up by the crowd reaching for his forehead. Dean thought about how far Sam had come since Earth. He'd been the boy with the demon blood, and look how far he'd come. Sam was smiling so greatly with an open mouth as so many bumped into him and rushed to give him their blessing. Dean thought about how far they'd _both_ come.

"Deanaeus," He heard a familiar voice say from behind him. He turned around to see Cas standing there with Andy on his shoulders. Cas leaned playfully over and Samandriel stretched to touch Dean's forehead with two tiny fingers.

"I like your name, Dean!" He piped up, smiling.

"As do I. Congratulations," Castiel said, touching Dean's head. Dean did a playful smile that wrinkled his nose, and slid his hand down Cas's arm to hold his hand, but was ripped away by the enthusiastic loud crowd. Cas felt himself feeling proud of Dean as he laughed and accepted praise from all the other angels. They'd all needed a celebration like this. Good times would get harder to come by as the final battle loomed on the horizon.

* * *

**Hello! I hope you liked this chapter, which is actually happy for a change. It's a good break between, because the main conflict is going to start getting resolved in the next few chapters. Also, congrats to Phonebox Angel! I wrote that part even before you reviewed! I was really surprised you'd guessed right! Thanks everyone for reading and favoriting my story! Please take a second to review :)**


	17. Heaven's First Dusk

The heaven had been getting colder and colder, and what was peculiar also was the way that the sky also seemed to be changing. It had been so subtle at first that it was almost hard to notice a difference, but soon the light was thinning an going down the spectrum to a yellow-orange as the sun that had usually been right in the middle of the sky slowly inched toward the horizon.

Dean finally understood. Angels were all about having things change around them according to their needs. Heaven must have been thrown off once the split occured, leaving it blind to respond and it nose-dived into vicious weather. As for the sun setting, he didn't know that it was even possible for that to happen. Then again, he still didn't know a lot of things. He hoped it didn't signify that the fluid system was giving up for good. With a sunset there just _had_ to be a sunrise. What if heaven permanently became a pitch black, barren waste because of this damn conflict? He hoped not.

It had become clear that things were really coming to a close as all six of the leaders had called a meeting, and most the angels left had been called to listen. Earlier that day, Calcifer had explained everything to them. He said they'd seize the opportunity to use their network now that it was clear of Michael's pain, they wanted to be highly organized and work like a machine. There wasn't much of a point to attending, as he had already told them. They all went anyway.

All of the army leaders stood on a rough wooden podium, and Dean looked at how very different they all were as he looked up from the crowd. He stood about twenty feet away and craned his neck to see over the sea of heads. Sam stood next to him, and Dean was pressed protectively close to him, his shoulder touching or never being very far away from him. To his left he held Castiel's hand tightly, reassuringly.

The six were standing and waiting for everyone to gather. Dean looked at them; there was Gabriel, Michael, and Calcifer, the three he did know, the ones he could probably call his friends. They stood there looking strong and proud: Dean felt a bit reassured at the two pairs of six stacked wings, knowing that they were extremely powerful. He also felt comforted by the look on Calcifer's face. He looked strong and ready, even more confident from before since this time, he was drawing his energy from a positive place.

The other three, although Dean barely knew them, also gave him hope.

He had briefly seen Antheniel before, but she looked different now. Dean could almost see the intelligence shining in her lucid gray eyes as if it were tangible. She was short and petite, but Dean could tell that her mind was superior to most of the others on stage with her. She stood confidently, close to another man that Dean had never met. Just through the network he could tell the man Antheniel was close to had to be Melchoir. It made sense that the two wisest would stick together. He looked kindly but smart as well, with smooth olive skin, pitch black hair and turquoise eyes. He held his shiny black wing out toward his small female friend almost protectively; Dean could tell they had been good friends for a very long time.

The last person made Dean feel almost intimidated, but it was the sort of feeling that he was relieved that he was on their side.

He looked like he belonged in war, with a daunting face, and he had one eye covered with an eyepatch from a recent injury, his other eye peeked out and was a shining yellow amber. He had a tuft of windblown grayish-blonde hair, and was standing in a confident way, legs shoulder width apart and arms tucked behind his back.

Gabriel was the one who finally spoke up.

"Brothers and sisters, as you can see, night is falling. We must fight against our enemy, who would like to waste the humans, our Father's creation that we have sworn to protect. We must make our society whole again. It is time for a new dawn in heaven." He started, sending shivers down Dean's spine. The time had finally come, everything was going to end. He drew Castiel closer, pulling him in with an arm around his shoulder. Castiel wrapped a gentle arm around his ribcage, and Dean felt his stomach drop when he felt that he was trembling.

He planted a little kiss on his hair and hugged him close, hoping that he could be of some comfort to him. He only half-listened as Melchoir explained the organization process they would be using, choosing troops at random and taking advantage of their newly functioning network to send out the messages to organize them.

Everyone was in a tense mood as the crowd dispersed. Dean held Castiel close with his arm, stepping in sync with him. Castiel hadn't said much to him ever since they'd found out there was going to be a meeting. Dean could see that he was terrified.

Dean turned to look back and saw that Sam hadn't moved to follow them. He had a strange look on his face like he was anxious, like he really had somewhere to be.

"Dean." He called out, clutching at his chest. "Dean, I just got picked. I have to go."

Dean rushed back to his brother. He gripped Sam close and closed his eyes. "This isn't the last time we'll see each other, Sammy. It won't be us." He said, and they stayed like that until Sam's tug to join his assigned troop became so strong that he had to leave. He looked at Dean with, sad puppy eyes. He looked like a little doll with those eyes and those ridiculously wonky tiny moose antlers above his ears.

"Stay safe, Sam." Dean called out almost in a whisper. He didn't want to cry right now, even though Sam was leaving and it was very dangerous. He didn't know if he really was sending him to his death this time. He didn't want that last memory of his face to be that sad, sad look.

The sky had changed much since that morning. The usual middle of the day light was dimming, and now the skies were filled with a orangish yellow light that stretched the barren tree's shadows and their shadows as they walked. Dean and Castiel came back to their cabin, not saying much as they went inside with fallen faces.

Dean sat on the couch and pulled the distressed Castiel closer to him, hugging him to his chest and resting his chin on his head.

They both waited in fearful silence as they waited together for their own callings. Cas had his head on Dean's shoulder, and had his legs tucked into his chest as he lay on his side. Dean rested his head on Castiel's, closing his eyes and just breathing in his scent. He couldn't believe it had taken him so long to admit that he was in love with him. Now, he couldn't imagine not wanting him in his arms. He felt so happy at how it had fallen into place. For years they'd been like this, self-sacrificing for one another, doing anything for each other. But they just hadn't labeled it as love until now. Dean felt content as he thought this, his newly acquired tail had the very tip curling and straightening, ungulating rythmically like a pleased housecat's. A few minutes went by as they just sat with each other, trying to avoid thinking of what lay ahead.

"Dean." Castiel spoke up softly, fearfully. Dean thought for a second he might tell him he'd received his assignment, but he said something else instead.

"I need to confess something to you," He said quietly into his shoulder.

"What is it?" Dean asked, stroking the top of his hair slowly, looking at his face with a somber expression.

"My mental attack. Dean, I didn't have a nightmare." He said, averting his eyes as he brought his hand up to Dean's chest. Dean was surprised at first, but he realized it made much more sense. He hadn't been paranoid or hostile like Sam had been. He had woken up and he'd almost seemed empty, Dean must have only been giving him a fraction of the things his mind had drawn up. Even waking up to a small kiss might not have been enough. Castiel curled in closer, needing to feel him next to him. He sighed and contined.

"I didn't even fight that hard to leave. I only woke up because the one controlling me was killed," He admitted, dropping his gaze to the floor. "It was so wonderful, and I was so stupid and weak for falling for it. I heard you, everything you were saying to me. But I still didn't try that hard." He bit his lips and tears started coming to his eyes.

"I stayed because...because I thought the real you didn't love me." He said, pulling closer to Dean's chest. Dean was absolutely shocked.

"Of course I do, Cas. Of course I love you." He emphasized, feeling his chest pinch tightly. He lightly held Cas's head in his palm, and he softly ran his thumb over the hand he was holding. Tears had started to roll down Castiel's cheeks, and Dean finally understood why he had seemed so distanced and numb after he'd woken up.

Dean pulled him closer and kissed him softly, pulling away and looking into his tear-filled eyes. Cas continued, hugging into Dean.

"Then you told me about your dream, and I felt so guilty that I had really believed that. I know that it was hard for you at first. My dream was just too powerful." He said, looking shamefully away. "I just couldn't bring myself to escape from a world where I was certain you loved me back."

Dean felt his heart break at these words. God, he was such an idiot. He was such a huge, fucking idiot. He had loved him so much more than he had really expressed. He never wanted Cas to think he didn't. He just wasn't the kind of guy to be overly affectionate and all over anyone. He showed his love in other ways, sometimes they were very subtle, and he didn't realize that it might have come across differently.

"I love you, Cas. I have for a long time," Dean said comfortingly. He felt horrible that Castiel had even felt that way about him.

"I know that now. I've always known, especially when you told me about your dream. But we'd just gotten over a rough patch, and this angel kept playing games with me. I started to be convinced," Castiel's chest did a little hiccup and he gripped tighter to Dean. Dean had no idea he'd felt that way.

"Cas, I love you. I'd do anything for you," He repeated, stressing his point so much. He felt tears spilling from his own eyes. He believed every single syllable of that sentence.

"When you kissed me when I woke up, that was only the second time, wasn't it?" Castiel asked, still looking shameful. Dean nodded, trying to comfort him by stroking his hair. "And when I told you I loved you, the first?" Dean nodded again, biting his lip.

"For me, it felt like the hundreth. And things in my dream were so sharp, so detailed...I began to get so confused. I didn't know what was real anymore. Everything was so confusing as my dream started to become my new reality. And you were opening up to me when I woke up, too. I wasn't even sure if I had woken up."

Dean blinked and a tear ran down his face. "I'm sorry if I made it seem like that, Cas. I've just never done anything like this before. I don't know what the hell I'm doing or what I'm supposed to do."

"Me neither," Cas agreed under his breath, sighing shakily.

"So let's just be new learning idiots together?" Dean asked, feeling his chest stir. For him, just holding Cas's hand had been affectionate enough. He hadn't given any thought about how that might seem like he didn't care. Then again, he'd never done anything like this before; he'd never had a relationship that had been so meaningful before. Even with Lisa, his longest lasting relationship, it had been a lie as he forced himself to stay with her.

"Okay," Castiel said quietly, nodding like a little kid.

"Okay? We can make this work, Cas." Dean said, liking the way that sounded. It had been a little rough at first, but that was normal. And they were both more than willing to try their hardest to make it work.

Castiel kissed him this time, and he was so gentle and sweet.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry." He said, wiping away one of his tears. "I'm sorry I did that to you, staying so long in my dream. You never left me. You never have left me, for anything."

They hugged together tightly, and stayed like that. Dean curled his wings halfway around both of them. Dean couldn't believe how much he loved him. He felt like maybe he would burst at any second. But still, he was scared. They'd _just_ smoothed everything out, and now they'd have to be separated again. Dean almost felt like someone was playing games with him- giving him something nice, no, something wonderful, and then just ripping it out right from under him.

They stayed in silence, only the sounds of their soft breathing filling the silence. Dean suddenly felt a fierce tug in his chest, directing him. Castiel looked up at him too. Dean felt hope jump in his stomach, hoping they'd wound up in the same troop.

Dean pressed him tightly against his body, holding his head right over his heart for just one second. "We'll be okay, Cas. It's all going to be okay."

They walked slowly, somberly, hand in hand to where their troops were going to leave. The sky was a darker blue now, and things were getting harder to see.

Suddenly, their hands jerked against each other as they were lead separate directions. Dean felt his stomach drop. So they weren't going together.

They both immediately clasped into a hug, not saying anything. It had taken them so long to finally realize everything. Now, it almost felt like it had been too late. Dean was finally happy with this one thing in his life, there was no way the universe was cruel enough to rip that from him.

"It's going to be okay." Dean whispered. They pulled apart, their hands were the last to go. He felt like maybe he should try and start expressing how he felt more. "I love you." He called out, feeling his heart give a little squeeze.

"More than anything." Castiel replied, tears shining in his eyes.

Then Dean was alone, forced to follow that unpleasent tug.

He felt it right away when he'd reached his division. He felt an extremely strong bond to the people that he could sense were part of his troop, it was so fierce it felt almost artificial. He sensed the sharp lines separating those in his group to the ones who weren't. There were exactly forty of them, and he knew exactly which people they were even though he'd never met any of them. He felt that tug quickly disappear as he was exactly where he was supposed to be. With that nuisance gone, his thoughts returned back to worrying. He didn't care what happened to him as long as he could know that Sam and Castiel would be okay.

"I see everyone's here." There came a low voice, their leader. Dean lifted his eyes to look. It was one of the six leaders he'd seen before, Velias. He somehow reminded him of his dad; he looked rough, toughened by hardship. He realized he had sort of been like that too. Dean wondered if he would get along with this man.

"We'll set out now. Once we get there, we will be the second wave. I, as well as the other commanders, will begin to create a few places of shelter. Not everyone here is going to make it back." This sent shivers down Dean's spine.

"Stick together. Fight together. And if the troop's bond breaks, still fight together." Velias stared them down with his one shining yellow-amber eye. Dean could tell he didn't want the embarrassment of a bad batch of soldiers. He also could tell that he knew what he was talking about.

He turned and motioned for them to all follow. And like that, Dean was leaving, each step taking him closer and closer towards the unknown, towards life or death. His stomach was churning, an he felt out to sense Cas and Sam. They were both fine, but neither was close by. Dean found himself thinking he would trade himself for them, if he could.

"Are you alright?" One of the people in his troops piped up next to him. It was an angel who looked about nineteen, and he was smiling gawkily at him.

"Not exactly." Dean said gruffly, wanting this kid to stop talking to him immediately. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, especially a kid like this.

"Pray tell," The kid said, looking up with expectant eyes. Dean rolled his. Suddenly, he was just spilling it angrily.

"Look, two people that I love more than anything, including my brother, are out there and there's nothing I can do to protect them, because I was forced into this stupid group of people with annoying people like you. There, now you know, so you can shut the hell up." Dean wasn't sure why he'd reacted so harshly, why he'd had such an outburst. He realized without kind, sweet people in his life like Sam and Castiel to keep him in check, he'd be a pretty damn bitter, unlikeable person. This thought made him feel even worse.

"We're all your brothers, mate." The kid said, looking like he'd been struck down. A split second passed before he realized. "Oh." He'd been to the ceremony. The Dean he'd seen there seemed so much more different than the one here; he'd been jubilant, smiling and looking like a very good-natured person. Now, he seemed so bitter.

"Sorry for asking." He said, looking down at his feet. It was getting so dim, it was getting harder and harder to see. Dean felt sort of bad; he realized this kid was only trying to help. He sort of reminded him of Adam: they seemed about the same age, and they both had that nice-kid look to them. The kid had soft, strawberry blonde hair and pale violet eyes. He had long legs and arms and light brown, sparrow-like wings, and a sad little expression on his face. He was probably worried too.

"My first addition was a tiger too. But I got the ears," He cupped his hands and brought them to the sides of his head as if to demonstrate. He smiled smally, uneasily. Dean was surprised the kid was _still_ talking. Why should he care if he sulked around?

"Nasty headache, that was. I'm not too much older than you. Probably had mine come in around sixty years ago. By the way, in angel time that doesn't resort to much. I'm saying that because I heard you used to be human. It's probably a strange concept, huh? What was it like, being human? I'll bet it was scary. You can literally die at any second! Just eating food wrong could kill a guy. It's crazy, isn't it? And what about food? They eat so much, but I just don't get where it all goes. And how does something taste better then another? I'll bet-"

"Hold on. What's your name?" Dean asked, anything to get this kid to stop running his mouth for two seconds.

He smiled lopsidedly. "I'm Ivanael." He said, extending a hand. Dean ignored it and kept following those in front of him. The kid shook it off and stumbled after him.

"Well, Ivan. Would you do me a favor and stop talking?" Dean said somewhat rudely again.

"Sorry. I just thought thought you'd like something to take your mind off of things. It helped me when a sister I was really close with got killed. Sometimes it's nice to talk to someone, or at least listen." He looked down, his hair falling into his eyes and he kicked a bit of snow. Dean was too worried to really feel bad. But he realized the kid talking _had_ taken his mind off of it, however temporary.

"You're probably thinking about them again, aren't you? I say don't try to not think about them, because you'll always fail. My friend told me that instead of worrying and being sad, remember all the good things, the happy things. That way they're still on your mind, but you don't feel so bad anymore. Tell me about your blood brother, Samuel."

Dean pressed his lips together, skeptical. But if he said it would make him feel better...

"You don't have to call him that. You can just call him Sam," Dean started, surprised that he didn't lash out this time. He sort of did want to have someone to talk to, although he'd never admit it.

Suddenly he found himself telling this new kid everything. How he'd practically raised Sam since he was five years old. He told him everything about how different they were, how Sam was really such a puppy and how he always ate those stupid salad mixes. He told him about how funny it was that he was deathly afraid of clowns, and how they always poked fun at each other. He told him about how Sam loved Jess and that Dean was fighting so he could get back to her. He found himself smiling as he reminisced at all the good times they'd had, why he loved him. It actually had helped.

Ivanael was looking at him with wonder. "It must be strange having only one brother," He said, looking up at him with interested eyes.

"It was pretty nice." Dean said, still smiling. He wasn't back to worrying just yet.

"Who is your other friend?" Ivanael asked, looking like he wanted to listen again, looking up with wide, reflective light purple irises.

"Cas," Dean said, looking to the side and off into the distance. Where could he even start? He started slowly from the beginning, not sure if he wanted to reveal everything. He started by telling how Castiel had pulled him from hell, how he'd rebelled for them an worked by their side to stop the apocalypse. He told of how scary it had been with the Leviathans. Then, how they'd somehow found each other again. He found himself smiling sadly as he recalled how Castiel had saved Sam from his madness. He was an amazing, kind man. He hadn't realized as a few others had started to listen in to his crazy tales, not only Ivanael. He was so absorbed in his story he almost failed to notice that it was extremely dark now.

His mouth kept running, he told of how Castiel had basically single-handedly acquired everything to seal hell, how he'd attacked a hellhound and how Dean had pulled him from the flames. And how he'd tried to save him from the explosion, how his human life had ended that day. Ivanael was enraptured. Dean hesitated, but he instantly felt bad for that. He wasn't ashamed anymore. He'd denied who he really was for far too long. Now, he was really, truly happy with the person he loved. He kept going, telling of how Castiel had waited until he was dying for their first kiss. He said how he and Sam woke up as angels and how big of a shock it was.

He found himself even going in depth as to why him and Cas had had a rough start, but he felt optimistic and he felt happiness climb into his heart as he listed all the reasons he loved him. The way he cocked his head to the side when he was confused, the way he got confused at jokes and references. He loved the way he leaned his head on his shoulder, always in the same spot, his favorite place to be. How he always reached for his hand. He loved how kind he was, how good he always was to him. He loved how he balanced out Dean's sometimes rash personality and fiery temper with that aspect. He loved the way he looked at him sometimes, those blue eyes looking like he believed Dean was his whole universe. He felt his eyes tearing up as he said these things. Just saying them aloud, finally telling someone else, his thoughts returned to couldn't live with himself if he lost him. If he lost either one of them.

"I'd die for either of them. No hesitation," Dean said to Ivanael, the happy feeling had passed and he was worried sick again.

"It seems like he have such a laser focus on just these two. You love them both with all your heart, don't you?" Ivanael spoke up, smiling at Dean. Now that he knew more about this mysterious human-to-angel, he decided that he really liked and respected him.

"I do. I think it's just them, because every single other person I've ever gotten close to is dead. They're the only two that I can never lose. They're the only ones who have ever been constant. So, it seems that's why I care about them only and with that much intensity. They're the only investments that have actually been able to grow," Dean admitted sadly. Sam and Cas were his whole heart, no one else.

"You can't only have two friends, Dean. Friends can make you very happy, look around, if you give them a chance anyone here can be your friend. Hey, me! I'll be your friend." The kid smiled widely up at him. "You won't be so lonely if you just open up."

"Thanks, kid. You were right. I feel a little better after that," Dean admitted. Maybe he shouldn't exclude himself and only let Sam and Castiel into his heart. It would be hard, after his heart had been broken far too many times as everyone except them left him.

Dean suddenly realized how dark it had really become. He couldn't see beyond two people in front of him.

"When did this happen? How the hell are we supposed to fight in this?" Dean asked, feeling his chest seize with panic. They'd never win if they were practically blind.

Ivanael ran his hand through his light ginger-blonde hair. "I don't know. I've never been to earth, I've never seen the sun go down before or been in nighttime. It's kind of scary," He admitted. Dean had no idea how a kid like him, friendly as a puppy and scared as a rabbit could possibly have a tiger as his first addition.

"If you think this is scary, you're in for one hell of a ride, kid." Dean heard a low voice and saw that Velias had appeared out of nowhere, putting a hand on Ivanael's shoulder.

"I-I didn't mean it," Ivan quickly mumbled, his wings puffing with air as he looked terrified of Velias.

"Take it easy, kid." Velias said, smirking at his flustered reaction. "You've got to learn how to keep a calm head if you want to survive this war."

He moved away to speak up and address their troop. They'd arrived finally at the outskirts of the battlefield. Ivanael looked to Dean with a wide-eyed, confused expression. Dean couldn't help but guffaw at the look on his face. He liked this kid. Maybe it was time to start opening his heart to others, not reserving and pointing his love all fiercely on just two people.

"As I said before, we are the second wave. The first has not begun yet. So now, we wait."

Dean obsessively checked in on Sam and Castiel again, and no surprise, they were still nowhere close to him. He felt his stomach twist in knots as the gravity of the situation bore down on him even stronger than before. He and his troop were the second wave. He wasn't ready to see the ones in the first get torn to bits and know he had to follow them, maybe follow their fate. Second.

"It'll be okay, Dean." Ivanael spoke up, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder, seeing he'd started to worry again. Dean heard the words he'd recited over and over to Cas and Sam finally said to him. They weren't as reassuring as he had hoped.


	18. Clash of the Archangels

**Hello! As I said, my updates have started to slow down. School is killing me! I hope you enjoy this chapter. There are only a few more to come! Thank you everyone for your support. I can't wait to check off the complete box on this story. Please leave a review! 1 review feels like 1 hug :)**

* * *

The sky had rapidly blackened, and now Dean could barely see a few feet in front of him. "Something's not right." Ivanael remarked, and Dean could just barely see the shining whites of his eyeballs and the slight curve of his cheek move as he spoke. The teen shivered an hugged his arms together. Dean was getting a strange feeling as well, almost a hunch that something had gone wrong.

He strained his eyes to try and see anything beyond the few people that were near him. The only thing he was able to see was the small pinprick of glowing red from a cigarette. He smiled to himself. Calcifer.

As he strained his eyes, the strangest thing happened. It was almost as if he had closed an eyelid that he never knew he had. His vision was suddenly illuminated with everyone around him, he saw their figures like they really were. He saw human shapes that were pure white,with slow moving celestial clouds whirling and churning inside them. A few still had prinprick stars that lay unmoving, but most were bare. He saw that each light was warm and encompassing, and he suddenly felt much safer being able to see all these beings than feeling like he was in the middle of a deep blackness.

In this state, he felt almost more deeply connected to those around him. That was why he noticed right away when something was disrupted. He tried to place the feeling, and a split second later there was a massive, ground-rumbling explosion.

He watched as a wildly beautiful, yet deadly explosion bloomed from not so far away. He saw a few bodies thrown into the air, and he just saw a split second of the horrors before he quickly and unconsciously snapped out of his viewing state. He shivered greatly, and not just from the cold. He'd physically seen their graces get torched beyond repair, he saw the light that the dead angel briefly emitted, and felt a deep, almost instinctual disgust. He compared seeing the dead and fading light to seeing the bloodless, discolored skin of a corpse.

He gripped his blade tightly and felt Ivanael press his arm to his lightly, urging them to stick together. Dean was keeping tabs on the people in his troop whether he wanted to or not.

Although the commanders had tried hard to keep everything highly organized and efficient, Dean could physically feel the strain on the bonds to his troop as the dark forrest erupted into pandemonium.

There were the sounds of running, blades on blades, yelling, screams that ripped through the air, or even worse were the screams that abruptly dropped into silence as murder took place.

Dean heard Velias yelling something, but he might as well have been speaking a different language for all that Dean understood.

He knew a few things just instinctually alone; this fight was not going as it had been planned. The enemy had attacked from behind, drawing them into the dense, dark forests. How they knew where they were was beyond him. Suddenly, he felt the bonds strain even more. It kind of hurt, but not as much as the painful wrench of feeling a family member dying.

Dean felt his troop's bond suddenly splinter and rupture quickly, bursting into shards. The people that he'd felt so fiercely about before he suddenly was completely indifferent to.

"I think it just broke. Oh, god. This is chaos," Ivanael said next to him, peeping up at Dean. "We're still going to fight together, right?"

"We'll be okay, Ivan."

Dean tried hard to get back that sight he'd had strained to see, and when he did he had to fight hard against his fear and disgust as he saw angels being ripped apart all around him. He was able to see the lights and distinguish them easily; but something was different. The semi-human shapes he'd seen before suddenly became a bit more smooth, more human-like. What had happened? Maybe their additions didn't show up when he was viewing their graces. He didn't have much time to ponder anyway, as violence was erupting all around him.

"Dean! Help!" Dean heard Ivan's pitiful call, as he lay in an extremely vulnerable position on the snowy ground, he had been quickly shoved down and was fighting hard to keep the slashing blade away from his body. Dean didn't recall when it had first started, but he found himself unconsciously yelling as he plunged his blade deep into Ivan's attacker.

He helped the long-legged kid up with an extended hand. He climbed to his feet and looked a little bit shaken up, he wiped some different-colored splatter of light from his face. Dean realized it must be the person's blood.

"Come on, we need to get somewhere safer!" Dean yelled over all the noise, gripping the teen's skinny upper arm and roughly leading him away from the bloodbath.

* * *

Sam didn't want to have anything to do with his troop once he'd felt his bond to them break. He fought off an attacker who had leapt at his throat, and he felt so disoriented in the dark, as he only sometimes got flickers of his true sight.

Bright battling lights strobed in and out of his vision, making him feel sick. He stumbled to run and try to get cover, anything to get away. He almost fell as he felt a shallow dip underneath his feet. He quickly felt with his arms; it was definitely a protective bunker. He settled in, gripping his gun tightly in one hand and his blade in the other. For all he cared, the enemy could come to him and then he would deal with them. In no way did he want to initiate a anything. He breathed heavily, keeping a tight hold on his weapons. His awareness was extremely sharp as he breathed in and out as quietly as he could, anticipating, feeling the ultimate suspense.

Suddenly, he heard the loud crunching of snow as someone rolled into the pit with him. He almost jumped out of his skin, but relaxed a tiny bit when he heard a higher-pitched sigh; it was a girl. He smelled something acrid and metallic in the air, she must have been injured.

"Who's there?" She called out, and the absence of a multi-voice indicated that she must be on his side.

"Samuel," Sam said quietly, relaxing the grip on his weapons just slightly. He had help now.

Suddenly, a dud bomb went off just a few meters away. Instead of exploding, all the oil quickly slipped over the ground and was set ablaze, letting Sam finally see something in the dancing red-orange light. The girl was small with dark black hair that was spilling down her shoulders and pieces were falling into her pale face, looking eerily like cracks on the face of a porcelain doll. She looked up with wide eyes, looking shaken up and adrenaline-ridden.

He saw that her chest had a deep gash in it, and she breathed shallowly in and out.

She suddenly got a look that seemed to Sam like dark realization. She started to move closer to him, and Sam leaned closer, thinking she was going to tell him something important, the thing she'd realized.

Then, quicker than Sam could react, the girl had whipped her blade out and had plunged it deep into his shin with both hands, she had a twisted smile on like she herself was a demon. Sam cried out in pain and quickly pulled himself backward, as he whipped out his gun and shot at her in panic, once, twice. He got a quick strobe of true sight before her grace finally left and her body, as well as those haunting dark brown eyes that were reflecting the flames, disappeared.

The grace he'd seen was cold, steely, harsh and unwelcoming. On top of that, the grace had died, making the light he saw even more repulsive.

Sam felt the full effect of his injury once the moment had passed. His leg screamed with pain, it was worse than anything composed of simply flesh and blood could ever achieve. He gripped his leg into his chest, the pain was wrenching. He grimaced and tried to collect himself. Somehow, he knew what to do as he reached out and felt all the connections to his family, feeling all of their waiting minds. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched and a few of them completely disappeared, falling out of his awareness as the angels were killed.

* * *

_They're disguising themselves as human-bodies. Look at their graces,_ Dean heard the warning say clearly in his head as if he'd thought it himself. He realized with a start that that was Sam who had sent the message. At least he knew he was okay.

_These sneaky bastards. _With it being so dark, it would definitely be somewhat difficult to tell the two sides apart know. Just the few second stall of trying to tell could cost a life.

Dean looked over the lip of the mound he had Ivan had situated in, and his jaw dropped as he saw the scene unfolding before him.

He saw tongues of fire that was moving fluidly like a river, illuminating a wide radius with a dim red-orange light. He squinted his eyes to see, and saw that Michael was tearing apart the enemy as if they were nothing. The fire was shooting off, wrapping in a circle around at least twenty enemy angels. He looked to see how those flames were possibly moving like that; he saw Calcifer and Gabriel's silhouettes, both were guiding the flames with huge motions. Dean almost had forgotten how powerful Calcifer really was because of his laid-back manner and casualness. But these two did not look like people to mess with.

"How are they doing that?" Dean asked almost under his breath.

"Every angel has the capacity to move things beyond their bodies, but it takes a long time to master and grow. That's why those two are so good at it. Just look at the frequencies, Dean."

Dean concentrated, and it came to him relatively easily this time. He saw Calcifer and Gabriel's, well, he wasn't sure what to call it, but it kind of looked like a three-dimensional shadow enveloping their bodies, and they were twisting and wrapping around the flames, directing them into a circle. He got what they were doing now: creating a fire ring of holy oil flames around the enemy, pulling in tighter, constricting them together.

Dean looked down and saw his and Ivanael's shadows of influence-they were quite small compared to the flourishing ones around the two commanders.

"They take time to grow. But sometimes you can see its effects. Usually when you're upset."

Dean remembered how floors cracked, how he'd slammed a door without touching it. He returned to seeing normally, looking out at the amazing scene unfolding before him. There was so much he still didn't know.

The ring was almost complete, rounding up the group of angels like cattle. Then, Dean saw what came next and his jaw dropped. They surged up and seized a random victim close to the edge, throwing him down to break the circle, and as he burned his comrades sprinted over his body to get out.

"Heartless bastards," Ivan said under his breath, cocking his Leviathan gun. He brought it up to steady it, squinting one eye to aim.

"You want people like that in charge of heaven?" He fired, and his aim was true. It struck one right in the center and it fell, black pumping through its whole chest, as the remnants of wings painted the ground.

Ivan licked his lips quickly, instense concentration on his face. He fired again, just grazing one's shoulder. He finally hit him, but so many more were coming.

Suddenly another human rolled over the top and threw herself into the pit they were in.

"Phew. It's crazy up there," she said, trying to smile at them, her light hair falling into her face. She was beautiful, Dean thought. But something about her wasn't right.

"Dean, the grace! Look at the light!" Ivan warned him, and Dean quickly spun around, gripping his blade tightly. The girl was grinning, her hair wild on her face as she slashed at Dean's throat. Dean quickly dodged it, as was about to plunge his blade in to end her, when he felt a harsh shove. It took him a second to realize it hadn't been a physical shove, but mental. He briefly saw her shadowy influence shove harshly against his tiny glow, trying to find a weakness. She was reaching to kill him, and Dean felt woozy as he almost got a veiw of his childhood home in his eyes, a quick flash before it slipped away.

Ivan had plunged his blade deep into the small of her back. He ripped it out and Dean saw the cold-lighted embers dance and die in the dark. This felt different, it didn't feel like he was killing the enemy when they showed themselves like this. He really felt like they were killing other angels this time.

"Damn," Ivan said, astounded. "What was she doing just then? She looked like she was trying to kill you without touching you or something!" He said, exasperated. The kid seemed very overwhelmed at this whole situation.

"She saw I was weak, she was trying to give me another mental attack," Dean explained, watching unemotionally as the body quickly disappeared.

"You're not weak, Dean." Ivanael insisted, an almost pouty look on his face. "I'm glad I found you to fight with instead of anyone else," He tried to convince him. Dean was about to say something back as they heard a large swell of sound, interrupting their short conversation. They both peeked cautiously over the pit. There was a huge group of enemy angels, pushing forward and not faultering or being gunned down whatsoever.

Ivanael shot at the flood of incoming people, but his aim seemed to never be quite right.

Ivanael seemed to pause, squinting. "Dean," He called out, and Dean could hear some undertones of fear in his voice. "Dean, something's wrong. Something is really wrong." He said, squinting at the people who couldn't seemed to be touched.

Dean went to look; _really_ look. He saw some sort of translucent shimmer inveloping the enemy, protecting them in a sort of tunnel. In this state of vision, Dean could see each bullet ricochet off of their protective tunnel, and he was suddenly struck with insight. _He_ had done that before: pushing Sam away from that bomb, helping Calcifer get out of the way.

"This is not right. It's someone from our side helping them; someone with a lot of power," Ivanael said almost in disbelief. The sides had become extremely clear-cut. Why would anyone betray them?

Dean tried to scan with his eyes and see the source; he had to accept when he had a hunch was true. It was Velias.

It made sense, why everything fell to pieces when the battle first started. Someone from the inside must have given them insight. When Dean looked, the light from his grace seemed just a shade different from everybody else's.

Dean watched in horror as the enemy began streaming toward their side, slipping lithly into pits and ripping angels, his angels, apart like they were nothing. His heart throbbed with pain at the losses.

"We have to do something!" Ivanael cried out, clutching at his heart. The teen had the most pitiful expression on his face, his light violent eyes beginning to shine with tears as he pressed his lips into a frown. This kid had some serious heart. Dean was beginning to really like him.

"You don't really think we can take Velias down on our own, could you?" Dean said, feeling skeptical. He didn't want to leave the somewhat-safety of their little hole-in-the-ground.

"No. But we could help those fighting right now," Ivan said, determination flooding out of his body and perfuming the air.

They both looked out with wide eyes. Many of their brothers and sisters were now getting their bearings and fighting back, as metal-on-metal scrapes and twangs filled the air, with the occasional boom.

"Okay," Dean agreed, nodding curtly. He needed to help. He felt a fierce pull to help his new family- he needed to do everything he could to protect them.

"On three," Ivanael said, looking at Dean with a kind of smile that looked like he felt like a hero.

"One...Two...Three!"

Dean pushed and scrabbled out of the little protection they had, pushing his legs and digging his toes into the softening groud to sprint as fast as he could to aid his family. He felt like he was running so fast he was almost flying. He had his blade in a good, firm hold, and he was setting his focus on one of the enemy that was winning in a one-on-one fight. Then, it struck like a bolt of lightening.

Dean felt the bullet rip through his grace and explode out the other side. He was almost blinded by the pain for a second, completely disoriented.

* * *

Gabriel had seen the same thing. He rushed over to the man he'd been working with, someone he thought he could trust. He definetely overpowered him, rushing and seizing the man by the throat. Gabriel was _angry_. His influence lashed out, sporatic spikes rising and falling and a wind began to stir from nothing, kicking up bits of melting snow so that it looked like waves in rough water.

Velias could do nothing to fight back against the powerful archangel, who had him by the throat. Gabriel's power was ripping away at the edges of Velias's grace, slowly beginning to kill him.

"Why? Why did you do it?" He demanded, as the fierce wind began to stir both Gabriel's brown hair and Velias's grey hair. Gabriel looked into his face with a piercing expression. He should have known.

"Things are not meant to be this way," Velias said in a low voice, his yellow eye glinting with passion. "Being human like this is a sin. It's despicable. We should not inetfere with out father's plan. _There was supposed to be an apocalypse_. We should not have stopped it." Velias explained, gritting his teeth as his grace was being slowly torn apart.

"You're wrong." Gabriel said in a cold voice, and the wind picked up a little bit. He couldn't believe a brother could betray them like this. And that he'd gotten away with it right under his nose.

"Goodbye, Velias."

Gabriel felt his anger well up, as his shadow of influence easily overwhelmed Velias, reaching in and finishing the job, ripping apart evey fiber of his grace until the light became that of a corpse's. Without warning, Gabriel was then slammed to the ground with a force more powerful than any angel but an archangel could muster.

"Raphael," Gabriel said in a cold voice, turning his head to look as he rose slowly from the ground. He had to kill his brother _now_, or never, because he'd get to him first.

* * *

"Ivan. Ivan, wake up." Dean clumsily overturned his friend next to him with his left arm, his right shoulder was screaming with pain. He didn't want to believe his eyes as he saw charred wings painted on the ground, as Ivanael's kind-looking face was completely slack, his eyes half-opened and glassy, his pale lips hanging open just slightly. Three silver blade-bullets had burrowed deep into his body, all of them would have inevitably killed Dean. Now he understood why he'd been represented by a tiger in his first additon. He was too damn loyal for his own good.

"Godammit! Ivan, why did you have to leave?" Dean felt tears come to his eyes. Everyone. Every. Single. One. He ever got close with died. All except for his two, the only two people he ever let in his heart.

Dean left him, the world was beginning to swirl in front of him. He crawled to the nearest dimple in the now mucky, wet ground with just a few clumps of snow. He could just barely make it out in the pinkish-gray dawn light. The sun's rising had escaped his notice, he'd been fighting so intensly. He collapsed into the small protective bunker, breathing heavily.

He tried to reach out and sense for Castiel or Sam, but the pain was so great he couldn't focus. He felt lightheaded, strangely detached from where he really was. His stomach lurched as what he could see pitched and blurred. He thought he might blackout, as all his limbs were so heavy he couldn't lift them at all.

_I'm dying_. Dean thought with a shock. _There's no coming back. It's too late for you, Dean._

Dean felt his lungs pumping, he felt his ribs pull in and out as his hot breath escaped his lips and swirled into the air. What would happen when Sam and Castiel found him? He didn't want to imagine the looks on their faces. Maybe they wouldn't even know which pair of blackened wings were his. Their bodies only stayed a few minutes before being magicked away.

Dean tried to collect himself, but he felt the tips of his fingers go numb as his stomach felt like it was going to turn itself inside out.

He didn't know when someone had come up next to him. He could barely feel anything as he zoomed in and out of awareness. Someone was leaning into him, hugging him. Sheilding him. Dean breathed in, and the person breathed in at the same time.

"Cas," Dean called out. Maybe it was only his imagination being a cruel devil.

He had another queazy, fussy lapse of conciousness, and was vaguely aware that that someone had put their hand on his wound and was healing it. This person wasn't looking so hot themselves.

"Cas," Dean called out again, feverishly. He was almost unaware he had said it again. It took him a second to register that the Someone was talking back to him. His voice sounded tinny, he seemed faraway as the words felt fuzzy around the edges, ebbing into his mind before becoming too faded to recognize the sounds.

"...you'll make it. I need to take the bullet out and..."

Dean's head was swimming. "I don't...I'm not..." He wasn't sure what he was trying to say. He just wanted to hold onto something, he felt like he was going to start floating away. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but he became aware that there was a hand in his. There was still a palm over his shoulder.

"Cas. Cas, is it you?" He felt himself say, slurring. It oddly felt like his lips weren't even his. He felt so numb.

"Hold on, Dean." He heard his whole voice this time, clear as a bell. He felt like he was sinking back into his body, somehow surfacing to awareness. It _was_ Castiel. Dean could tell now by the light his grace emmitted. His head was starting to clear as the pain in his shoulder was dying down, he wanted it to keep going until it was numb, but it didn't. At least it wasn't blinding now, but it was still searing. He became aware of other things that had escaped his awareness before, although things were still lurching a little.

He was covered in mud. The snow had started to melt, leaving pools of ice-cold water that were quickly absorbed to make dark, thick, ice-cold mud. He shivered as he noticed the icy clumps clinging or smeared on his body. He'd rather have the snow.

Then he noticed something else. Warm liquid, bleeding into his clothes and sliding down his arm. He looked over to see Castiel. His face was pale, his eyes were closed. Silver was sliding down a gash in his side, slipping down his arm in a silver snake and dripping down Dean's knuckle, the hand he held.

"Are you o-" He started, but shut his mouth when his vision blurred and spun, making him feel like he was going to be sick. He felt himself losing balance, leaning forward.

He felt gentle hands pull him back, someone was smoothing down his hair, it felt nice and comforting. Like what his mom had done when she'd tucked him in at night, a long long time ago. He felt mud on his back as he heavily leaned back again.

"Stay still," A comforting voice told him. Dean closed his eyes, he still felt the world spinning unpleasantly. He breathed in and out, feeling fuzzy some moments and sharp the next as the pain in his shoulder stabbed at his brain, demanding attention.

He squeezed the hand he held. "Are we dying?" He whispered, opening his eyes to see the stars swirling up above

"No," Castiel whispered to him. "We'll be okay. It's all okay."

Dean felt a punch of nausea to his gut, he leaned to the side and felt warm liquid force its way into his throat and pour into the mud. He hacked and spat out what remained- it tasted horrible, like he'd imagine mercury would taste.

Again he felt gentle hands guide him back into place. He felt his body relax, and he suddenly felt a pleasent headrest on his shoulder. His head fell with a dead weight onto it.

Dean felt another lapse in conciousness, he was only jerked back to throw up again, his frame clentching painfully, straining his shoulder even more. He collapsed back to press himself against the mud. He felt silver blood on the corner of his mouth, but was too weak to wipe it away. He felt a soft, warm thumb do it for him.

"I'm sorry," He said, not sure what he was applying it to. He felt cold, soft fingers comb through his hair. His one hand was warm and glowing, not numb and pinched by cold like the one he had resting on top of the icy mud.

Then, the first one rang out. The sky was illuminated with a flash of white as Gabriel and Raphael had finally started to fight. The ground rumbled, and there was a loud and powerful crack that sounded like lightening.

"There's nothing we can do now but wait," Cas said next to him, leaning in closer to his side. Dean laboriously lifted his arm and stretched it, laying his hand on Cas's shoulder and weakly pulling him close. He felt the warm blood in his clothes press unpleasantly onto his skin. Castiel's breaths played rythmically against his collarbones, and he was grateful for that. At least that meant he was alive.

There was another loud crack, and the light almost came through his eyelids. The ground rumbled much more this time, the water-and-blood puddle next to Dean sloshing with the rolls of the ground. Dean somehow found the strength to pull Cas even closer, and though he was much too weak to protect him now, he liked to think he was.

He didn't know how long it lasted or how many clashes there were. His senses were dull, he felt each one without any inkling as to what the count was. All he knew was there was himself, and there was Cas. He couldn't think well enough right now to imagine what was going on around them.

The whole sky was illuminated a pure white, which lingered far too long to just be another clash. It finally burnt out, and an eery silence followed. Only one of the brothers could have triumphed.


	19. The After

**Thank you to new favoriters/followers! And to everyone who has joined along the way :) I just had to update again, what can I say? I'm a grade A procrastinator. At least this is the result ;) Thank you for your reviews! I wish I could thank you all by name, but I'll do that in the end. Just know that I am thanking you, yes you, whoever is reading this! Now, on with the story!**

* * *

The sky had faded from a pinkish-gray to the crisp blue sky of the early morning. The sounds of violence seemed to have died down right away after the great event. It was almost too quiet for comfort, as the small amount that comprised the last of the enemy were being destroyed.

Gabriel had sunk to his knees, gazing painfully at what he'd just done. His beloved brother was there before him, the dead, sickly light of his grace was fading quickly. He looked over all the parts that made him into the being he was. He looked at each addition and could remember exactly all the memories he'd made with Raphael as they both grew up together. That was such a long, long time ago. They'd grown up together, becoming stronger together with each passing day.

He remembered it as if it were yesterday; it was just the four of them in the beginning, and things had been easy and simple. They were the four unbreakable brothers, the four only sons. Michael was the oldest, always looking after his snot-nosed little brothers and keeping them out of trouble. He'd act authoritative and like he was the boss, but all of them knew he loved them through it all. Lucifer had been extremely smart and full of personality with strong morals, he had an amazing compass pointing to personal rights and wrongs. Too bad that it had pointed completely wrong when he was cast down. Gabriel remembered how he himself had been; full of energy, cunning, tricky and with a large sense of humor. Him and Michael had been close, the older brother loved Gabriel's spark, and it was as if he fulfiled the itch to be devious just by observing Gabriel doing so. Raphael had always been the thoughtful, kind one, and he was definitely the least outgoing out of the brothers. He had such kind eyes and thoughtful words. Gabriel shook his head. No. That Raphael had left a long time ago.

Gabriel wished things had never gone haywire, that things never wound up this messed up. Each brother chose strikingly different paths to deal with the problems that arose. Lucifer had hated the humans immediately, and he was filled with jealousy and anger until it consumed him. Then, he'd been cast down. That left a sour taste in all the brother's mouths, especially Raphael, who agreed with Lucifer but didn't express it. Things kept going downhill from there. The sweet, kid brothers who had been close-knit were no longer. Michael was consumed with the need to be perfect, especially as new younger brothers and sisters arrived. Raphael began to grow more and more resentful and dark with each passing day, hating that he was always in his brother's shadows, the shy one, always overlooked and underestimated. Gabriel had gotten tired of his family the greater it grew and the further his brothers fell. He'd left it all completely, when they needed him most. He still felt regret that that had been the path he'd chosen to take.

"I'm sorry, Raphael. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Gabriel sobbed, feeling sadness well up in his chest and spill out to his surroundings like a flood. "I wish it didn't have to be this way. I loved you. But not what you'd become, brother. We both know the real you had died a long, long time ago."

He pictured in his mind's eye the four of them, happy and young, before all the problems had started. Michael, with his shining young green eyes and pure white wings. Their eldest brother, the gaurdian to all three of them. Raphael with his light brown hair, light coco complextion and intellegent amber-and-brown eyes, with those beautiful silvery-gray wings. Lucifer, with his regal crimson eyes bright and sleek black hair that matched his wings. He missed those times with all his heart.

Gabriel sobbed and felt his chest squeeze with greif as he caved in on himself.

"You did the right thing, Gabriel." Michael had appeared next to him, he slung a scar-crossed arm over his shoulder and hugged him tight. "You're right. The real Raphael left a long, long time ago."

Gabriel looked at the body once more before it disappeared. Suddenly aware he still held the weapon that had killed his brother, he flung the blade away in disgust. Michael brought his little brother into a full hug, wrapping him into his heavily scarred body.

"You still have me, Gabe. You'll always have me." Michael said, just a trace of tears in his voice.

_When did everything take such a turn for the worse?_ Gabriel found himself wondering. Why did all these bad things happen? They'd been so happy before.

Gabriel hugged his older brother back tightly. At least he had him. And to think he'd almost turned evil himself; the thick scars would always be a reminder.

"We have each other, Micky. It's all being to be okay now," Gabriel cried, not able to contain it as the air was doused with another extreme burst of sadness. Michael ruffed his hair, still not letting go. He was smiling ever so slightly. Oh, Gabe. He'd never stop calling him Micky, would he?

"It's all going to be okay," Michael agreed, just one tear slipping down his cheek as he squeezed his brother tighter into his arms, a tiny smile on his face.

Then, it was clear that the enemy had been killed down to every last man when the air began to hum, stirring up primal angel emotions in the two of them. They pulled away, looking with amusement into each other's eyes. They thought this would occur only once.

Their six wings seemed to stretch on their own accords, filling the air with the first humming, beautifully low notes, the very beginning of the oldest song in all existence.

* * *

Dean slowly opened his eyes after the last, final clash was over, and the air had grown silent for a few minutes. The first thing that happened was the sound of music filled the air, a melodic humming that seemed to come from everywhere at once.

The tune felt so amazingly familiar, but Dean had no idea when he had first heard it. It was like a Christmas song; he felt warm and fuzzy inside just listening to it, as his heavy chest lilted with every note that he knew somehow by heart.

The second thing he noticed was the sound wasn't coming from the air at all. His wings were humming, sharp edges of the feathers exposed to the air and somehow letting out these low notes. Dean looked wearily to his left; Cas's were doing the same thing. Probably everyone around them was having the same thing happen.

"The angels are singing," Castiel said quietly, tipping to lean his head back and look at the sky, which had slowly faded into the light blue of the morning. He closed his eyes and listened, he hadn't looked this at peace in a long time.

"I haven't heard this since I was a kid," he said again, and he had a small smile on. This must mean everything was over. That they'd won.

Dean tried to focus on Cas's face as his vision began to blur and spot painfully, black fading over his eyes like a painful veil. He felt his neck lolling as he suddenly was struck with a bought of weakness. Just when everything had ended, when it was safe, Dean collapsed completely.

* * *

Sam looked up to the sky, breathing heavily. He felt his wings stiffen as a sweet lullaby filled the air. He wiped his face of some dark, cold mud, and looked to the sky. He was exhausted, but there was only one thing that gave him any motivation to even move.

He crawled from the pit he was in, getting mud all over his legs and arms. He called the heaven to mind, wanting to go there more than anything. He saw it just a few feet in front of him, and he pressed his lips together and set his mind on it. He rolled through the barrier, collapsing and hitting the floor from a few inches. He let out a groan and held his leg, gritting his teeth.

"Sam!" Jess cried out, and suddenly she was by his side, placing a small hand in the middle of his chest and a hand on the back of his head, lifting his head gently. He opened his eyes just a little to see her face. She was starkly clean, but all the filth on him was starting to rub off on her pure white dress, on her clean hands. She was smiling at him, her blue eyes sparkling as her eyes crinkled just a tiny bit in the corners. A little piece of blonde wavy hair had fallen into her face.

"It's over, isn't it?" She asked, sweeping a lock of dark hair from Sam's face, leaving behind a streak of mud. He said nothing as he curled up and hugged onto Jess tightly. It was over. This was the thing he'd been fighting for, and now he finally had her in his arms. He never wanted to leave her like that again.

Jess laughed lightheartedly and looked up into Sam's face. She gave him a little kiss, and Sam laughed when she pulled away she had a bit of mud on her clean cheek. He reached up to clear it away, but instead left an even darker, wider smudge. She grabbed his hand and used all her strength to haul him up by the arm. Sam's wings were heavy with mud as he tried to get up off the floor.

Jess was there for him as he stood up and leaned on her, walking with a lopsided limp to get back to the dorm room.

"Let's get you all cleaned up. I like your antlers, by the way." She laughed, wrapping and arm around his midsection to help him walk. Sam snorted and laughed. He'd almost forgotten, he'd gotten so used to his addition.

They had almost reached the dorm as Sam got the horrible feeling of putting his foot down wrong. It all happened so quickly that he couldn't remember everything that happened, but as he put his injured foot down he felt his whole leg give, and the next thing he knew he had slammed into the floor, cracking it. He had tried to reach instinctively for anything to hold as he felt himself falling.

Sam gritted his teeth, getting his bearings, and he looked up at Jess. He felt his stomach drop like he was on a roller coaster.

"Oh, my god. Jess, Jess, I'm so sorry!" He couldn't believe that he had hurt her, but the evidence was right in front of him. Where he had reached, his hand had slid down her forearm, breaking the skin in three straight lines. The skin had concaved and looked like it would have major brusing, and her skin had broken just a bit down the centers, leaking a small amount of blood.

Jess pressed her arm close to her chest. "Sam, it's okay. You're learning," she said, trying to comfort him. Sam didn't want to be lied to. He knew that what he'd done had really hurt her. She came closer to help him up, but he put up his hands and shied away.

"I can do it," He insisted, pulling himself to stand up. His muddy wings had left prints on the floor, and his hands were now leaving thin trails on the walls as he used the wall for support instead. "Sam, it was an accident!" She said, flustered.

"I can't hurt you again," He said to the wall, feeling so guilty that it almost felt like it was physically pulling him down. Luckily, there was just one door left until her room. Sam forced himself inside and collapsed on the bed. His leg was stabbing painfully, he was exhausted. He wanted to rest, _really_ rest this time. Jess walked up on light toes, and slid gently next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and reached over, lightly stroking the tops of his wings.

"I'm so sorry," Sam said, barely able to bring himself to look her in the face. She softly smoothed down his feathers, snuggling her head onto his shoulder. "I'm not mad, Sam. We can work around this, okay? It will all be okay." She closed her eyes, only happy that she was with him again, nothing else mattered.

Sam gently put an arm around her, making sure to be extra careful. Deep down, he felt anger stirring in his chest. The one thing he wanted more than everything was getting ruined because of a decision that he didn't even make. What if Jess grew to slowly hate him after there had been too many 'accidents' like this? Or even worse, what if she tried so hard to make it okay that she wasted away, trying to conceal her pain? Sam's heart gave a little squeeze, and his anger began to grow even larger.

* * *

Dean woke up to the soft sound of voices talking in quiet tones in Enochian. He opened his eyes wearily and recognized the place right away. He was in the hospital ward, but it was a little hard to see as the light hurt his eyes, and his vision was still a little blurry. He saw someone on the bed with him, his back to him with dark black wings close to his face, as Dean strained his eyes he saw the wings spilling from a light tan trench coat.

Dean silently wrapped his arms around him, hugging him from behind as he shut his eyes again, pulling up to him and resting his head on where his shoulder met his neck.

"You're awake," Castiel said in a surprised voice. He probably wasn't expecting a hug like this.

"Good morning," Dean sighed happily. His head still felt a little fuzzy from before. And something else was making him feel a little woozy, a little drunk, like he'd just woken up from getting his wisdom teeth removed.

"Are you feeling better?" Castiel asked sweetly, as he reached up to stroke the fingers from Dean's hand that hung limply down.

"You probably shouldn't give him any more of that healing shit, Cas. I know you're worried, but it's messing with him." Dean took a second to match this second voice with his friend, Calcifer.

"Oh, hey Cal!" Dean slurred, smiling goofily. Calcifer chuckled, he sounded like he was probably in the bed next to them. "Hi, Dean." He answered good-naturedly.

"You saved me," Dean slurred sappilly, smiling. He'd probably get made fun of later for acting so loopy, but right now he was on cloud nine.

"I love you," Dean said in a sing-song voice, and he gave Castiel's shoulder a little kiss before settling his head back down on the same spot. Castiel was smiling, blushing a little bit.

"I've been waiting to see you two bastards get together," Calcifer laughed. "Jesus, what took you so long?"

"I dunno. I was kind of a big douchenozzle at first," Dean said woozily, grinning at his funny word.

"Take it easy, Dean. I guess I did give you a little too much." Cas admitted. Calcifer was right; he had maybe been a bit too concerned. He was the type of person who insisted that Dean have more than he really needed, just to be safe. He needed Dean to be okay, and that made him irrational.

"Nooo," Dean slurred, smiling and waving the comment off. Castiel knew Calcifer would get a kick out of that later. For now, he looked like he was somewhat in pain.

"Cal, stop talking or I swear to God." Dean heard another voice, this one was barely familiar, but he knew he'd heard it somewhere before.

"Swear to God what?" Calcifer answered, teasing. "You'll rip out the wrong thing?"

"Don't test me," The girl smoothly answered back, joking light-heartedly.

Dean opened his eyes and looked to the direction of the voice. Now he got it. The other girl was Leilias, and she was standing over Calcifer, one of her hands on his chest and the other was holding his hand.

_They're together_? Dean wondered. He never would have guessed.

"You're a stupid bastard for putting so many in, Cal." Leilias scolded him, and Dean watched as she sunk her hand _into_ Calcifer's chest. Well, he'd seen stranger.

"But I'm your stupid bastard, right?" He said happily.

"Unfortunately," Leilias joked, she leaned forward and gave him a little kiss. "Hang on, okay? You're almost all done."

Dean now understood what was happening as Leilias dislodged something from Calcifer's body, and the little white orb bobbed up into the air, as it unfurled little flame-like tongues, bobbing in the air like a buoy, almost happily. He was getting rid of all those little stars that were packed in his grace. Dean had almost forgotten what they represented. He lifted his head for a moment, looking around the room. A few had been injured, but many were having the same thing done as Calcifer.

The mote disappeared as Leilias gently nudged it through a small portal that she'd opened up for it. "The nursery must be packed. I'm sure they'll be glad you're taking two off their hands for them."

"Ouch. How many left?" Calcifer asked, rubbing his ribcage, where she'd just pulled from.

"Oh, you big baby. Five. _Not_ including them, though."

Calcifer groaned and shut his eyes.

"You were the genius who did this to yourself! Come on, hon. You'll see their faces soon."

Castiel found their relationship quite strange. But, he never really had understood jokes or making fun before, which seemed to be all these two ever did. Joke, but then be just as loving as ever. Both of them were very much like humans in that way. Angels had never had such powerful emotions before, so they hadn't paired up like this before.

He remembered when these two had begun falling for each other, and finally became 'official' together, almost forty years ago. Both had rapidly picked up what they'd learned from the humans they loved so much, and were almost the groundbreakers for emotional, sympathetic angels. They'd been somewhat of a scandal, he remembered. But they'd been together ever since, not wavering once in those forty years. He was suddenly aware of Dean's chin on his shoulder. He hoped they could be like that. He knew they could. They could make it work, just like Dean said. Cas felt the potent emotions of happiness and love that Dean was emitting as he rested in his medicine-induced doze, and smiled to himself.

"Last one," Leilias spoke up as she somewhat harshly tugged the little sphere of bright white light out. "Sorry," she said right away, nudging the thing out and away, for it to go into the infirmary with all the other infant angels of the next generation.

Calcifer lay flat on his back, looking exhausted. "That was the last one?" He asked in disbelief. Dean was hazily listening in. He didn't want to imagine how that must feel. He didn't like anyone meddling around in his grace, anything hurt like hell.

"You're ready to see them?" She asked softly, squeezing his hand.

"Fuck yes," Calcifer said, finally breaking into a smile. Leilias rolled her eyes. "Always with the language. You were planning on naming them swear words, weren't you?" She poked fun at him.

"Dammit, you caught me." He smiled, resting his head back on the pillows. "Make it quick, please."

Leilias took her hand and sunk it under Calcifer's collarbone, dislodging a little white light that bobbed up around her head, unfurling its white flames and dancing around her shoulder as she reached for the next one, taking just the lightest of a misting from her grace. Leilias blew a small piece of hair from her face as she gently pulled the second one out, which quickly rose to her other shoulder, and it quickly bobbed around her back and almost seemed to interact with the other mote, they floated close to one another, lightly floating up and down.

Leilias gathered them gently and herded them down, into Calcifer's outstretched arms. The man was looking up at the lights, a look on his face like a five-year-old on Christmas morning.

Right when he had them secured, they began to change. The light expanded into a familar human shape, before they solidified into their core forms. They were very tiny, if they had been human babies they'd probably be around five pounds each. Their wings were extremely small and definitely would not function yet. However, they were the prettiest blue-jay blue with white accents. They both had round heads of dark brown, soft baby hair. Baby boys.

Castiel caught just a glimpse of one of their eyes; they were a shining, pure silver. Leilias gave Calcifer a kiss on the cheek as he crouched down next to him, looking at the infants as well.

"I'm going to tell them everyday that they're the ones who saved my life," He said happily, looking into their faces. Leilias sadly combed through his hair and pressed her cheek softly and affectionately to his, closing her eyes. So he'd told her about his almost-incident.

"What are their names?" She asked quietly.

Calcifer smiled brightly. "Isiah and Evrael," he answered, softly stroking a head of brown hair. Both him and Leilias were silent as they stayed together, looking at the tiny angels he held. Calcifer slid over a little to make room for Leilias, who quickly joined him.

"Aren't you glad you didn't?" She said softly, rubbing his arm soothingly. He nodded and tilted his head to the side to give her a quick kiss. "Very glad." They then proceeded to sit there in silence. Castiel felt happy for them. Of all people, Calcifer deserved something nice in his life.

Dean was slowly gaining more awareness, and he stirred and stretched his arms, pulling away from Castiel.

"Hey, Cas." He said, finally clearly this time. He yawned and stretched, and Castiel was surprised when he pulled back into the position he'd been in before. So it wasn't just because he'd been doped up.

"It's over?" He asked, hugging him close to his chest. He was immeasurably happy that it had finally ended.

"It's over," Cas repeated, smiling. "Are you feeling well enough to leave?"

"Let's get out of this place," Dean agreed, and went to slide off his side of the bed. Castiel swung his legs off the matress, stepping down to the floor.

"Congratulations, Calcifer and Leilias." He said happily, nodding to both of them.

"Thank you for everything, Cas. See you around," Calcifer beamed at him.

Castiel turned around and found Dean waiting for him, facing the door with his arm out slightly behind him, with an open and expectant palm reaching. Castiel had a lapse of doubt; he wasn't still in that dreamy trap, was he?

_No_. He firmly told himself, as he slipped his hand into Dean's, and felt his heart give a little flutter. No, this was real. It was completey real.

They reached the end of the hall, but to their surprise no cold air was blowing through the cracks in the door. Dean went to open the door, and Castiel helped him open it, knowing that his shoulder must still be tender.

Castiel heard Dean gasp audibly at what he saw. He turned to Castiel, a look of pure joy on his face. "Can we go get Sam?" He asked excitedly, Castiel felt the pulse in his palm speed up significantly.

"Of course," Castiel said, smiling wider than he had in a while.

* * *

"Sam!" Sam heard his brother's voice from behind the dorm room door. Him and Jess were simply lying together, not doing anything but simply being next to one another, making up for lost time.

Jess was dozing lightly, something Sam was a little jealous she could still do. She had one hand softly resting on his chest and another on one of his wings, she'd been stroking them lightly before she'd fallen asleep. Her ankles were crossed over his as she napped lightly, halfway on his chest, as he stared into her face and lightly, rhythmically was stroking her hair. He looked at her sleeping face, a face he'd missed so much. But he was angry at himself that he'd hurt her, again, after he'd been the reason she'd died in flames.

Sam looked up and suddenly saw his brother and Cas in the room with him. Dean was smiling brightly, casually holding Castiel's hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. Sam saw Castiel and felt his anger flare up brightly in his chest. He ever so gently slipped Jess's arm off of him and placed it by her side, carefully lying her down and making sure she was comfortable.

He stood up slowly and came up to Castiel, silently towering over him. Castiel looked up to his face, confused.

"Sam?" He asked, confused, cocking his head to the side.

"Why didn't you tell me." He said darkly, it sounded less like a question and more like an accusation.

"Tell you what, Sam?" Dean asked, his face falling from his smile right away.

"That I would hurt her? That it could be dangerous to be with her?" He said, his voice climbing as he spoke.

"I wasn't aware-" Castiel started, but was abruptly interrupted.

To Dean's horror, Sam reeled up and punched Castiel hard in the face. It affected him much more than when they had been human.

Castiel was put off balance, and he brought his hand up to gently touch his jaw.

"You did this to me! You did this to both of us, and you didn't even ask! I heard my brother's screams in the living room, his cries for help, he was calling my name. You put him through _torture_, Cas. He was in excrutiating pain for a _week_." Sam accused him, and Dean felt his chest stir. He preferred not to think about that awful binding process, but Sam shouldn't be the one to tell Castiel what had happened. Castiel looked surprised at this news, his face almost dropping to an expression of horror.

"Don't you think for once in my life, I can rest? That I _deserve_ it?" He was yelling loudly now, his face displaying his pain. "Why couldn't you just let us have something good for _once_?!"

Castiel remained extremely calm, but he kept his fingers on his jaw. "Your heavens were not adequate for long term use. Knowing you two, they would have gone bad in twenty or thirty years. Your drive to help people would overpower your death, and frustration would build as you could do nothing. You both had the potential to become either poltergiests, or waste away to nothing. I saw this as the best option, this was your destinies."

"You don't know me, Cas! And there's no such thing as fucking destiny!" He exclaimed, tears coming through his voice. His eyes looked hurt and wild. Unexpectedly, he threw another, extremely hard punch in the same spot. Castiel almost fell over, taking the hit and doing nothing to prevent it. "Fight back, you stupid bastard!"

Dean was pissed off now. "Sam, dammit, stop!" He demanded, trying to put Castiel behind his back. Somehow, something was holding him back. Sam utterly ignored him. Castiel was straightening up, his hand on his cheek. His deep blue eyes glittered dangerously. "I was only doing the best for you," He gravelled, looking angry himself now.

"Oh really?" Sam said bitterly, looking like he was going to do something again. Castiel couldn't help but throw his hands up in self-defense, which caused the much weaker and younger Sam to be shoved halfway across the room.

Sam slid a few feet, and looked up with an extremely angry expression. Dean saw his influence briefly before his normal vision returned; the somewhat-shadow surrounding Sam had begun to flare and spike as his anger rose. A picture frame popped with a crack, a lightbulb burst nearby.

Sam quickly threw himself at Castiel, tackling the angel who refused to fight back. They were both thrown into the wall by the kitchen, creating a large crater as drywall powder quickly puffed into the air and chunks of the walls fell into the kitchen with dull thunks. Sam was punching his face, taking everything out on him.

"Sam!" Dean barked angrily, rushing to try and help Castiel, but he was shoved roughly back by an invisible burst that cracked the walls in lightening-like shapes. Suddenly a thought struck Dean; Jess. She was the most vulnerable in this situation, being such a delicate little human.

To his horror, Jess was making her way towards the fighting angels. Dean just caught the image of Castiel shoving Sam off of him in the corner of his eye and he heard a loud crash as he turned to stop Jess. He gently put his hands on her shoulders, making sure she couldn't get by him.

"You can't let him hurt Sam!" Jess insisted, she was clutching her arm to her chest. Dean spotted three obvious finger-tracks, ripping her skin in clean lines, dark bruising appearing around each one. He understood where Sam was coming from; if he had hurt Castiel like that, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

"Cas won't hurt him. I'm worried about you," Dean rushed to say, gently leading her to a closet that was out of the way of their fight. He knew he needed to protect her, or who knows what kind of rash decision Sam would make. A loud crash and the sound of breaking glass and pottery came from the kitchen, and Dean rushed to get her there quicker.

"Stay here until I say it's safe." Dean said softly, somehow knowing how to slip a little bit of his own influence around the closet to protect her. Although she couldn't see anything, she somehow knew that he was protecting her. She curled up in the closet, still cradling her injured arm.

"Thank you. And please help him," she begged, unmistakeable love shining in her eyes. Dean already liked her, she was perfect for Sam. And that made him happy.

"Be safe, okay?" He said quickly, closing the closet tightly. He rushed back to the kitchen area and was amazed at how much damage there already was. Glass and clumps of drywall littered the ground, and high-pressure water was spraying into the kitchen from a broken faucet. The walls all had at least some damage, and looked like they were on their last leg. Dean's foot crunched on a broken framed photo as he tried to find them.

Castiel and Sam tumbled into the room, only stopping once they rammed into the far wall. Sam reeled up to punch Castiel again, but with a burst of influence Castiel was able to dodge the blow as Sam was shoved off of him, rolling to the side with the wind knocked out of him. Sam's invisible influence lashed out, and Dean could trace the path of it by the splintering in the walls, as it reached Cas it slashed a small horizontal gash in his cheek. Sam looked like he was about to do something worse as he stood up shakily.

"Sam! Stop, godammit!" Dean blared, and felt a same protective urge that shoved Sam back a few feet, away from Castiel.

Dean quickly wedged himself in between the two of them. "Stop right now!" He demanded, keeping an arm outstretched so that Sam couldn't get by him. Castiel stood up shakily from where he had been slammed with his back on the wall. He receded to be behind Dean, and he was lightly holding onto his arm, staring at something on the floor and looking beyond sad as he stood silent and pensive. He was covered in white drywall dust, and a tiny drop of silver had bled through the gash in his cheek, dripping down like a viscous tear.

Dean couldn't bear to see his brother and the person he loved fight like this; they were ripping the whole place apart, and hurting each other. These two were the only two people he loved so much it hurt. He couldn't let them be at each others throats like this.

"Why are you taking his side?" Sam asked in a choked voice, tears had started to form in his eyes. Still, at least he wasn't trying to force past Dean and hurt Castiel even more.

"Because I believe him," Dean answered, trying to calm his brother down. He hadn't seen him this upset in a long, long time.

"I see, Dean. I get it. You and your sweetheart are just birds of a feather, and isn't that great. But I can't even be with the one _I_ love. We're not the same anymore, don't you get it? What about _me_, Dean?" He was calming down finally, just looking more upset than angry now. He breathed heavily, but he didn't look like he would have another violent outburst.

"What about me? Don't I get to be with the one I love?" He looked heartbroken, tears glittering in his eyes.

"I haven't forgotten about you, Sam. You are my friend, and I was only trying to help you." Cas finally spoke up softly, pulling away from Dean. When he flicked his eyes up from the ground, Sam saw no bad intentions there.

"She's the only thing I've ever wanted, okay? And now, I don't know if I can keep even that." He hung his head, and a tear slipped down his cheek.

"You _can_ keep her." Castiel insisted, coming closer to Sam. Dean was amazed at his perseverance. He would have punched right back, or at least stayed the hell away from whoever started it.

"How?" Sam demanded bitterly. Another tear sparkled and fell from his eye, and he had a small frown on his face.

"You will both have to learn the limits, but you'll learn quickly. Things will be fine for both of you." Castiel said gently. Sam seemed to stare through him, and another tear dripped down his cheek, leaving a shimmering trail. Sam said nothing.

"I understand that you're angry. I'm sorry that I did not get your consent. But I assure that you can be with Jessica." Castiel came closer, and Sam looked confused through his tears.

"I care about you, Sam. I do not want you to be angry with me for what I did. I did not want you to become something you resent."

"_I already have_." Sam said extremely bitterly, but he seemed to regret it right when it left his lips. Castiel, who had been moving in for a hug, stopped in his tracks, a shocked look on his face. Dean felt his face drop as well, and then he clentched his jaw angrily.

"I didn't mean it." Sam blurted, seeing the pained expression on Cas's face. Both Dean and Cas knew that he was telling the truth, but it still stung.

"Look, I'm sorry." He said quickly, and Cas avoided his glace, only looking down at the floor as he spoke up quietly.

"I was only trying to do what is best for you," He insisted sadly again. No matter what he seemed to do or say to him, Castiel got the vibe that Sam wasn't convinced of what he tried to tell him.

Sam was sad all over again. He never thought Castiel gave two shits about him, that what he did for him he only did because it directly affected Dean. Castiel looked up into Sam's face. He was trying to smile a little, a look that seemed to ask if he had made it better.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm not usually the type to get that angry. But I just couldn't hold myself back anymore." Sam admitted, looking down at the floor. It was a split second before he added "...are you okay?"

At least Dean was getting his real brother back now. Sam's angry outburst had scared him; that was not like him at all. But he supposed that it had gotten to a point where he just snapped. Dean could understand, one of the few things they had in common was the extent they would go to for the people they loved.

"I'll be fine. I feel fine knowing that you are no longer angry with me." Castiel answered softy, feeling his cheek tenderly with light fingers. It looked like it was swelling slightly already, and it was a tender pink that would no doubt purple in a few hours.

"Oh, shit. What did I do to the place?" Sam said aloud, as if he had finally opened his eyes to the great destruction their fight had caused.

"Heavens are self-healing. But it may take a few days to get back to normal," Castiel explained. Dean had come up in the meantime and was inspecting him, gently holding his jaw and moving his head slightly to assess the damage with worried, mama-bear eyes. He tried something new; lightly pouring a bit of healing energy through the fingertips that held the jaw. Castiel closed his eyes, a serene expression on his face as the angry pink began to fade. "Thank you, Dean." He said in a pleasant voice, and Dean felt the urge to kiss him when he had his eyes closed, but he didn't. He didn't want to possibly aggravate Sam further after he'd just stopped fighting with him.

It wouldn't have mattered if he did, anyway. Sam was leaving, sensing that Jess was in the closet. Silently, he opened the door and leaned into gently embrace Jess.

Dean heard the quiet sounds of crying, and he came closer to investigate.

"...no, no. I'm perfectly fine, baby. Don't cry, it's all okay. It's over, please don't worry. I'm right here, okay?" Sam was talking quiety to Jess, pulling her gently from the closet like a parent would pull a sleeping child from a car, he was so careful and soft.

"I was afraid you were going to get hurt," Jess said in a watery whisper, burying her head into Sam's shoulder.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Sam said softly to her. "Don't worry so much about me."

Castiel came up quietly to the both of them. "We should give her heaven some time to mend."

"She can come with me?" Sam asked, surprised.

Castiel nodded, trying to slightly smile as before, trying to ask if everything was okay. "You're going to love what you see, Sam." Sam gently slid his hand down to be in Jess's small hand, smiling at her with all the love in his eyes.

"But first..." Castiel said, coming up and gently taking Jess's injured arm. He stretched it out lightly, and Jess made a little tsk at the stretching of her skin. Castiel gently placed his palm over the wounds, and it glowed a comforting white. He then moved it down as if he were wiping away the lines. The skin emerged, healthy and smooth, from the other side.

"Thank you," She whispered to Cas, looking at him with grateful eyes. Sam looked happy that she was okay now, even if she was a little shaken up from the fight she'd witnessed.

They all went to leave, Sam looked skeptical as to whether it would work. Sam put Jess before him, and she passed through the gateway easily as long as she held his hand. Sam stepped outside, and his feet no longer cruntched on snow, and there was no bitter wind to come up and nip his face. He looked out at the _real_ heaven, and suddenly his anger and sadness completely melted away. He finally was seeing his new home as it was supposed to be.


	20. Home

**Hello! Aw, so sad that I finally am ending my story. Sorry it took so long everyone! Thanks SkyHighFan and kb18142 for the final encouragement to finally finish. I wanted to thank everyone who favorited, followed or reviewed, especially frequent reviewers FireChildSlytherin5, kb18142, Phonebox Angel, Daryl's Angel-bow, SkyHighFan, SARA1988, Aurasyr, Magpie of Silver and Furionknight. Without your support I might not have gotten to the very end, so thank you all loads! I'm writing a new story, "The Wolf and the 'Walker", and if you liked Angel!chester please go check it out! I know I couldn't get enough, I had to write more ;)**

**Well enough rambling! Here you go, everyone! Bye for now, and I'm glad if you've been with this story till the very end :,)**

* * *

When Sam set his eyes on his new real home for the first time, his heart soared. It was absolutely gorgeous. They had no idea what they had been missing when they'd arrived in the dead of winter, when heaven had been cold, barren, mostly black and white.

The greenery had started to grow back quickly from the mud, covering the landscape in tall, young grass that swayed, with the subtle sound like a long person's hair, gently in the warming breeze.

The air was scrubbed clean, like after a nice, good rain. Fluffy clouds with clear, sharp billow shapes filled the now-blue skies. Sam could see that the angels had gathered underneath some of the trees, bunching together and trying to rest after all that had just happened. Sam hadn't known exactly how many angels there were before the war, but he knew now that there were hardly any left. At least everything had ended when it had, or... Sam shuddered. Things could have been so much worse.

Dean had taken Cas by the hand when he saw two people at the bottom of the slight hill they were on, and ran into the waist-high grasses. He seemed to have underestimated the muddiness of the ground as he tumbled down, bringing Cas rolling down with him. Sam grinned when he heard them both laughing.

"Adam!" Dean cried out, rushing down the hill and looking just a little off balance a few times as the mud sucked at his feet. Dean rushed up to hug his baby brother, not caring if he got him a little muddy. Adam let go of Samandriel's hand, who had been protecting while the final battle raged on, so he could wrap his arms around Dean.

"It's over, Addie. It's all okay now," Dean said to him, feeling much happier than he had in a while. "Look, I know I wasn't a great big brother to you in life. Hell, I barely knew you. But that's going to change, okay? You're my baby brother and I'm going to start showing it." Dean said to him in his ear, pulling away with his hands on his shoulders as he just looked into his face. God, he was so proud of him. After everything he'd suffered through; growing up without a dad, having his mom killed, finally getting to rest in heaven only to have that ripped away from him as he was trapped in the cage for hundreds of years, and somehow he was still such a pure, good soul. He'd worked himself to the bone trying to help the angels, using that hellish glow that surrounding his heaven to his advantage. Dean roughed his hair and smiled at him, and felt happy when he saw those eyes look back at him with admiration. Yeah, things could change for them.

Samandriel saw Sam and Jess after Adam let go of his hand, and he ran as fast as his short little legs could carry him, as Sam knelt down and scooped him into his chest.

"Are you okay? I was very scared!" He said in concern, wrapping his arms around Sam's neck. "I'm okay, Andy. It's all over now." He lightly rubbed his hair, he was so happy to have him back in his arms.

Jess looked at them, a puzzled look on her face. She observed the way the angel child leaned into his so trustingly, and how Sam was so gentle as he smoothed down his hair but so strong in the way he held him up. They had the same exact hair color...

"He looks like he could be your son." Jess voiced with a tiny smile, they seemed so incredibly familial. Sam looked at her with a furrowed brow, looking at Jess and then back at Samandriel. "Really?" He asked almost hopefully. He knew he'd never be able to have children anymore now that the Internal Grace was beginning to function again, and those little stars had nothing to do with genetics either. But he realized that there was nothing he wouldn't do for this little kid, and he was amazed at how close he'd gotten to him, how much he loved him. He realized he might have felt that way about him all along.

"That's the lady with the beautiful soul," Samandriel said in realization, recognizing Jess from when they'd first arrived in heaven. Sam let out a happy burst of laughter and hugged Samandriel closer for a second.

"Jess, this is Samandriel. Andy, this is Jess." Sam said cheerfully.

"You're a little cutie, aren't you?" Jess said, blushing slightly from the compliment he'd given her. Samandriel smiled shyly and hid his face in Sam's shoulder. "It's nice to meet you, Andy."

Sam had smile plastered on his face. Finally, he spoke up what he had been pondering the whole time. "If you'd like, and Jess, if it's okay, I'd like you to live with us." Sam said quietly. He didn't want to only be by himself and Jess anymore, and keeping Samandriel with him so often just felt right. He couldn't imagine his life without this kid in it anymore.

"Really?" The little boy asked, his tail whipping back and forth as his grey eyes brightened.

"Really really." Sam replied, finally setting him down on the ground and holding his hand. After everything they'd been through together...yeah, maybe he did see him as sort of a son. Sam looked up and noticed that a heaven was not too far away, the hazy image beckoning to him. He could just tell instinctually that it had to be John and Mary's.

Dean was looking at him, waiting for him so they could walk together, and Sam noticed that he had a peculiar expression. Instead of looking excited or happy, he almost looked nervous.

_What's wrong? _Sam asked him directly, he didn't know if he'd want anyone else to know he was fretting.

They began to walk silently together towards the heaven, as the four others began to walk elsewhere, wanting to give them time to themselves. Dean hadn't realized, but his influence was swirling and pressing onto Sam's for comfort, almost as if he were holding his hand but not. He stopped right before the entrance and looked at Sam, taking a deep breath.

"What will they think, Sammy? The fact we aren't human, that me and Cas..."

Sam put his hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "They're going to love seeing us, no matter what." He said confidently. "Come on, Dean. Let's go see mom and dad."

Dean finally felt excited as they passed through. He was hit with feelings of nostalgia as he was standing in the kitchen of his childhood home, as he saw his mom making breakfast and his dad reading the newspaper, getting ready for work. They were both so _young_, and it must have been before Dean had even been born. His mom was wearing an old band T-shirt, her golden hair up in a loose ponytail as a few waves fell into her face. His dad had pitch-black hair, no grays whatsoever, and his skin was clean-shaven and wrinkle-free, his eyes were bright and young, not tired and full of pain like after their mom was killed. They both looked up when they heard them enter, surprised glances on their faces.

"Hi, mom." Dean said quietly, coming up to the woman who looked only a few years older than him and wrapping her into soft hug. He was hit with memories just by the way she smelled. He missed her so much, and to finally see her again...

"Dean, baby." She replied in a watery voice. She was silent for a few seconds, and her hands found their way to his wings and she stroked the top of one slowly, almost in disbelief.

"I..." Dean started, not quite sure what he was going to say to her. He still felt strange that this was who he was now, that he'd never be human again.

"I'm so proud of you." His mom said gently. "I've been watching you both. I can't believe some of the things I've seen." She stroked his wing again, less hesitantly this time, as if she believed it now.

Dean looked over and saw his dad and Sam hugging, looking more like siblings than father and son. Sam was crying, and John was smiling with shiny eyes.

"I'd like to officially meet this Jess and Andy." Dean overheard their conversation. He felt a tiny squeeze in his stomach. He needed to tell them both about Cas. Dean made his way over to his dad and silently pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you for saving my life. For trading. Dad, I can't even express what that meant to me." He'd realized; if he'd died that day, Sam would have died not long after. He wouldn't have been able to bring him back, and hell, he never would have met Cas.

"We all end up here someday, Dean." He replied, for the first time Dean could remember his voice sounded happy.

They all sat at the very familiar dining room table and they talked. Sam had never really met Mary, she only knew him when he was six months old. Sam talked to her for a long time, telling his stories even though she had been watching over him and knew most of them, she still smiled with tears in her eyes as she just watched him talk. Dean had been relatively silent so far. Finally, the topic returned to Jess.

"I know that we're different now, but I know we can make it work. We have basically forever to figure it out." He beamed. He wasn't angry anymore at being turned into an angel; Cas had assured him that things could work, and everything was falling into place for him. He had a tiny family now, and a huge one with all the angels.

Dean licked his lips and spoke up. "I found someone too." He said almost nervously. No, he shouldn't be afraid anymore. He'd already overcome that, he wasn't going to go back to being ashamed. "We met after you died, dad. And I've never loved someone so much before."

His mom and dad were looking at him expectantly, somewhat confused as to why he was taking so long to talk. He licked his lips again. "His name is Castiel."

He braced himself, he wasn't sure for what. Maybe looks of disgust or fear, maybe even anger. He didn't receive any of those things. He scanned their expressions; his dad looked serene, almost pleased that he'd found someone, finally. His mom smiled at him and spoke up. "Well, we'd love to meet him one of these days." A huge weight felt like it just disappeared off of his shoulders. "I'll...I'll make sure you do." He said quietly, almost shocked that everything had been so smooth. He couldn't wait to have Cas back in his arms and tell him the news.

They promised they would come back soon, maybe they'd bring some visitors next time. The two young parents agreed, looking at the two powerful beings with shining, happy eyes. The two passed through the heaven once more.

Mary looked to John, and wordlessly he pulled her into his shoulder. Mary began to cry, laughing through the tears. "Our little babies, John." He smoothed her hair, quickly wiping away a tear that had dripped from his eye. "I know, honey." He said, smiling to himself and hugging her closer.

Dean and Sam exited the heaven, still finding it a bit odd as they were met with warm air and grass underfoot. Dean scanned and reached out to find Cas; oddly, he was nowhere near.

He followed Sam as he spotted Jess and Samandriel under a tree, along with Calcifer and Leilias. A little white mote bobbed in the air next to Calcifer's head, and he brought up his wing and folded it inside, smiling down at Samandriel, who was gently holding his tiny baby.

"Which one is this?" Samandriel asked, looking curiously into the infant's big, pure silver irises. The baby blinked up at him with a surprised expression.

"That's Evrael." Calcifer replied without hesitation.

"But how can you tell?" Samandriel asked, looking with a perplexed expression at the tiny angel. It was so strange to have an angel be younger than him; he had gotten so used to being the youngest out of everyone, never seeing another child's face.

"I can tell." Calcifer smiled, pretending to be mysterious as he didn't answer the question, turning to the two men approaching instead. "Hello, Dean and Sam."

"Hey, Cal." Dean replied. Something seemed off about him. "No cigarette?" He asked, the small white object had almost become a part of his look. "Nope. I'm quitting." He said, unfolding his wing and tucking in the second little white mote that floated up to him, the baby had returned to its small orb shape. "Gotta set a good example."

Dean looked and saw Sam sit down with Jess, pulling both her and Samandriel into his lap. Dean smiled when he saw that they looked like a little family; he recalled when he'd gotten that mental attack, he'd envisioned Samandriel as being Sam's son even then. He was so happy for his brother, that things were finally working out for him.

Suddenly, he heard a flutter from behind him and could tell that it had to be Cas. He turned around quickly and stood up, smiling as he made his way to the man standing around thirty feet away. He pulled him into a quick hug, sliding his hand into his.

"Where'd you run off to?" He asked when he pulled away. He didn't get an answer, but by the way he was smiling he figured everything was okay.

"I met with my mom and dad. I told them about you, and they want to meet you sometime." He was still so happy that everything had gone so well, he still could see his parent's expressions after he'd told them.

Castiel smiled but didn't say anything again. He almost looked the slightest bit tired. Dean suddenly noticed that a flow of white grace was floating up from his chest and into his wing.

"Cas! Are you okay, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" He asked quickly. Was he losing energy or something, healing himself? But then why was his grace going outside of his body, and then back in again?

He didn't answer him directly. "I went through all of them, every single one. But I only found one that fit the description." He said in a small voice, lowering his eyes almost shyly.

Dean brought his eyebrows together, confused. "What are you talking about, Cas? Are you alright?"

Cas slowly unfolded his massive black wing, and a tiny white star was glowing in one of the folds, finally floating out and bobbing lightly in the air, small white flames dancing in the air as it floated up to Cas's cheek.

Dean felt his chest seize. "Description...?" He asked quietly, feeling the words just falling from his shocked lips. Was it really, had Cas really...?

Cas gently reached up and took the small orb into his palms, as the light expanded into a human shape, solidifying into skin colors. He held the tiny infant gently to his chest, it had a shock of black, wispy baby hair and silvery-grey downy nubs, the beginning of wings.

"Only if you wish to," Cas said quietly, looking down at the small baby, who looked around four pounds if they had been human. When he got old enough, he'd stay in his solidified form. Dean came to Cas's side in disbelief, getting there just in time to see the baby fold open his emerald green eyes. He felt his heart give a little squeeze in his chest.

"Of course I want to, Cas. Of course I do." He said, tears coming to his eyes. The fact that little bits and pieces of his deepest desire were coming true, even though he'd never have the real thing as a whole, this was good enough for him.

The baby returned to its small white orb, floating towards Dean and trying to nuzzle into his wing. Dean opened up one of them and folded it back together in disbelief, feeling the tiny ball of grace glowing warm inside the fold.

"He already likes you." Cas said, shuffling his wings and putting his hand in Dean's, reaching up and wiping away a happy tear that had dripped from Dean's eye as they began to walk back to everyone who was sitting under the shade of a healthy, summery tree.

Sam looked up at him with a slightly confused expression, wondering why he'd been crying as Jess leaned onto his chest as he lightly smoothed down her blonde locks. Samandriel was playing the guessing game with the tiny twin angels again, Cal answering without the slightest hesitation. The little boy looked into the baby's face, the proud look of an older brother shining in his stormy grey eyes. He'd have a lot of little brothers and sisters to take care of now. That reminded Dean; he felt that warm, pleasant glow in his wing fold again, the orb stirred just slightly and nuzzled deeper into the golden feathers. He couldn't wait to break his news to everyone there. Maybe he and Cas would even name him together in a few moments.

He sat down carefully on the new grass, feeling just a slight squish at the mud that hadn't yet dried up. He didn't really mind. He tensed his one wing, ready to stretch it out and see everyone's surprised expression as the tiny star would appear. For now, he opted to look at his friends and family's faces around him.

Calcifer and Leilias were looking down at Samandriel holding the baby angel, they looked weary but like they were finally getting the rest they deserved. Samandriel went and plopped down into Sam's lap, who let out a small laugh as the little boy gently stroked the baby-soft brown hair of his new little brother. Jess turned her head to look at Sam, raising her eyebrows as he gave her a small peck. Finally, he looked at Cas. Where could he even start? Those blue eyes looked at him expectantly, happiness shining through for when he'd tell everyone the news.

Dean began to stretch out his wing silently, a smile plastered on his face. A warm breeze came by and stroked his cheeks, ran through his hair. Yes, he was a Winchester. But who said that meant he couldn't have a happy ending?


End file.
